All Around Me
by flawlesspeasant
Summary: When Demi gets tired of running from her past, she figures that settling down in a quiet New Jersey town is the best option. But as she finds herself caught in the middle of a hasty battle, her secrets begin to unravel. Secrets she would die to keep hidden, if possible.
1. Walking

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing but the general plot of the story. I do not own the characters in the story, I do not own their identities, and nothing I say or put into the story is a direct reflection on the true identities of my characters. I do not claim anything I say or put into the story to be true. I do not claim to own anything but the plot and the idea of the story.

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The ever-hot sun beats down on the pavement, making it easy to confuse walking along it with walking across a pot of boiling water. The blisters on my feet are festering and beginning to bust open, leaving a deep crimson, bloody path in my wake. I look down at my feet as I walk, imagining how much easier it would be to walk all this way if I at least had shoes. It's risky, but I have to stop. I have to let my feet rest, before I'm not able to walk ever again. I've walked through three towns in one week. Today is the worst, by far. I thought yesterday was horrible, walking in torrential downpours of rain, but that rain seems like a sweet oasis in my own version of Heaven compared to the scorching hot hours of today that seem to drag on. I'm sweating so profusely that my hair is sticking to the back of my neck and my forehead, making me feel like there are a bunch of unrecognizable bugs crawling all over my sunburned skin. I haven't had a haircut in three months, and it really shows. I haven't had a proper shower in two months, so it's no surprise that the gnats linger around me until I swat them away. My tongue is dry and swelling. I need water.

Finally, I pick my head up and make myself aware of my surroundings. Trees line the streets on each side, but none of them offer me any amount of shade. This road seems to go on and on, for miles. I don't look back at how far I've came; it'd probably make me sick if I did. My stomach roars so loud that I can hear it as well as feel it inside my body. It's been two days since my last meal. I've found that I can go three days maximum without eating before I start to feel lightheaded. I need to get food into my system soon, because walking in this heat on an empty stomach doesn't seem like a good idea. I fish my cell phone out of my pocket and check the time, since that's all I can do on it. It doesn't work. I can't send a text message. I can't make a phone call. I can't even dial an emergency number on it, not that I'd dial an emergency number anyway.

I lift my head once more and look around. There is a slight clearing of the trees, and I can see where the highway ends. A big city emerges in the distance. I need to make it to a payphone. I believe I have three quarters left, which is enough for one call. All I need is one call, anyway. Before I make it into the city, I need to take a break. I can't walk into a big city with my feet bleeding the way they are; someone might call the authorities if I do. I move closer to the outskirts of the highway and sit down. My legs ache as the muscles in them relax. My feet throb as if they're pulsating. I pull my feet close to me and examine the damage done. I have two new blisters and one old one that busted open. My feet are burned from the hot sun, easily visible by the redness on the pads of them. I put my hand into the dirty fabric of my large t-shirt and push on the bleeding gashes to stop them.

I haven't really thought about when I'll stop walking. I realize that someday, I'll have to stop and start to live again. I just don't know when. I definitely won't stop in New Jersey, though. New Jersey is too close to stop. I might go to Maryland or something. From what I can remember from geography, I think Maryland and New Jersey are close to each other. Or maybe they aren't close to each other; maybe my memory is fading. I can't remember much from school. I don't even remember the 206 bones I have in my body, and I used to be an honor student. Human anatomy and physiology used to be my favorite subject…

Once I get the bleeding to stop on my feet, I stand up. I'm starving, but I have to wait until it's at least sunset before I can go get food. It's not like I don't have money. I have ten bucks that I've been sitting on these past four months, but nobody will serve me because I'm dirty and I don't have shoes. So it's just easier if I steal food. After everything I've already done, stealing seems like it's at the lowest end of the Ten Commandments. I'm already certain that when I die, on Judgment Day, God will tell me to go to hell. I'm already sure of that, so I might as well break a few more rules along the way, I suppose.

I hear a car creeping up behind me. It's moving fast. I don't bother to lift my head and see. Most people just speed right along and leave me out here. It's not like it offends me or anything. I like to be left alone. But I've been walking for four months, and I have yet to have anyone stop and ask if I'm alright. It's the same thing with this car. It just speeds along and goes on about its business, leaving me to walk in this heat. I'm at the edge of the city by now.

Another car speeds along behind me. This car sounds different, though. It slows down as it approaches me. Aimlessly, I raise my head to see what the problem is. The car is a large red pickup truck. The wheels are enormous, and it's intimidating. I take a step toward the rail on the side of the highway and put my head back down, minding my business. The truck stops beside me. Four months of walking and this is the first car that stops. What makes right now so different? Maybe people are just extra nice in New Jersey.

"Are you alright, Miss?" The man inside the car asks me through his rolled down window. He's leaning across so that he can see me and I can see him. He has wire-rimmed glasses with bifocals on the bottoms. His dark brown hair is seared with grey hairs and is combed neatly to the side. I can tell by the extra weight in his face that he is probably a heavier-set man, but not exactly obese. He's probably single, like the 50-year old virgin.

"I'm fine." I say, the words catching in my throat like I'm choking on sand. My mouth is so dry. It hurts to speak. I swallow my own saliva to attempt to lubricate my throat. It doesn't work. I wonder if this man will believe me then just be on his way. I wouldn't believe me. If I saw a skinny little seventeen-year old girl walking along the highway in dirty clothes with no shoes on and wild, unruly hair, I wouldn't believe that she's okay.

"Are you sure? I could call you a cab… do you need transportation?" He leans over some more, trying to make sure I can hear him. A faint breeze comes in and blows my hair all over my head. I forget how long it is very easily.

"I'm alright…" I try to lie convincingly. I'm not okay. I need a hot shower, a hot meal, a pair of shoes and a decent outfit. Can you help me with that much? "I'm almost… to where I need to be." I look around and really try to get this man to leave me alone. I can't accept help from anyone. It's not that I don't want help. I just can't accept it.

"…Take care of yourself, hon. It's a crazy place for a little girl like you out here." He nods once at me.

"Thank you." It really means a lot that this random stranger took the time of day to ask me if I was alright. I'm thankful for that much.

The man steps on his gas pedal and drives off. That's the end of it. We don't speak anymore after that. I probably won't ever see him again. But that stranger really just touched my heart. It sucks that I won't see him again. But I'll always remember him.

I speed up my walk a little bit and make it into the town. The sign is blue on top and red on the bottom with the gold outline of a sun and gold lettering. "Welcome to Jersey City, New Jersey," I read it aloud to myself. I can't tell you how many state and city signs I've passed in these last four months. This certainly won't be my last city sign I'll pass.

I wonder along the streets of Jersey City in search of the nearest payphone. I pass stores that line the streets and vendors. I make a mental note to buy myself a hotdog from a vendor. I don't think they'll care that I look so dirty and don't have shoes. I mean, all I want is a fucking hotdog. I keep wondering along. Maybe I should ask someone where the nearest payphone is. This city is huge. The streets are bustling with traffic and what I assume is the lunch rush. It's easy for me to get lost in a crowd. I look around. Aha! There's a payphone.

I hurry over to it before anyone else does, and I rush myself inside, partly for shelter from the large crowd. I dig in my pocket for fifty cents. I put my money in the machine and dial the number with fidgety fingers. She'll answer. She always does. And if she doesn't answer, then I'm screwed. I don't have any more change on me. Unless I beg for another quarter, I won't be able to call back. The phone rings loud in my ear. It rings once. She doesn't pick up. It rings twice. Nothing. It rings three times.

"Hello?" Her voice sounds like music to me. I want to burst out in tears as if I haven't heard her speak in years. It's only been days.

"…It's me." I painfully say, my throat burning like I just drank a mouthful of acid. Tears sting my eyes as I feel the sweat from my eyelashes drip inside also.

"D… Are you okay? Where are you? Are you safe?" She panics as she always does when I call her. She worries about me. It's nice to have someone that still cares. It's nice to have someone that worries about me.

"I'm in New Jersey… and I'm okay." I assure her. Please don't worry about me too much. I'm okay. I'll be alright. I just need food.

"New Jersey? Why New Jersey?"

"Because it's where my legs took me… Are they still looking?"

"Here and there. I think they've given up. There are still newspaper articles about it though. She's worried about you, you know."

"Make sure you tell her that I'm safe and I love her."

"Of course I will. Will you call me again?"

_PLEASE INSERT 50 MORE CENTS TO CONTINUE ON THIS PHONE CALL._

"I don't know. I'll try to call you again. But if I don't, I love you. Okay? I have to go now. The phone's gonna shut off…"

"Alright. Love you too. Stay safe, lil bit." She says, pain in her voice. I don't want to hang up. But I have to. I have to keep calls short and sweet anyway.

I hang up the payphone and step out of the booth onto the hot pavement. My feet are killing me. I need somewhere to sit down. I walk along the way to a vendor. I stop at the hotdog vendor and stand in line. There is only one woman ahead of me. She is ordering the biggest hotdog I've ever seen in my life. Must be nice…

The lady pays for her hotdog and turns around and faces me. She turns her nose up to me, like most people do when they're in my presence. I know I smell bad, and I know I look dirty. I know all of this. But I'm harmless.

"What can I get you?" The man running the hotdog stand asks. He doesn't look judgmental. He's looking at me like I'm a person.

"A footlong… with ketchup and mustard… and a Pepsi, please…" I still retain my manners. My mother taught me very well. I reach in my pocket and graze my fingertips along the wet ten dollar bill. It's damp from my sweaty legs. He presents me with my hotdog and my soda. I hand him the ten dollars. I don't wait for him to give me my change before I take a long sip of my soda. It's so good and cold. You know that feeling you get after you've just woken up, and you take a cold drink of something? The feeling that feels like the coldness is running all through your bones? I feel that right now.

"Here you are. Have a nice day." The hotdog vendor hands me six dollars in change. I stuff it into my pocket and walk away. I feel bad that I didn't say thank you. I'm just too wrapped up in the fact that I'm getting food. I was so hungry…

I walk toward the direction of the payphone. I saw a bench over beside this department store. I approach the empty bench and sit down. I take a big bite of the hotdog. My stomach is satisfied. My thirst is quenched. I prop my badly beaten feet up on the bench. They're still oozing out puss and blood. They'll be fine if I rest for a few days. The blisters just need to close up. I lick some mustard off my finger and continue to devour the hotdog. I was ravenous. I have to find somewhere to sleep tonight, and maybe a river to wash myself in. I just wish I had a change of clothes. I grab my cell phone again and check the time. It's 2:15 in the afternoon on a Thursday in August.

I polish off the hotdog and finish off the cold Pepsi. I even eat the ice inside the cup. I'm full for the moment. I check my feet out. They don't look nearly as bad as they feel. I should take a nap somewhere.

I get up from the bench and throw my things away. I wonder where the most private place is around here. I just need somewhere shady and private where nobody will find me while I take a nap. I walk around in search of the nearest alley.

"Oh my goodness! Are you alright?" I hear a woman exclaim.

I look around. Please don't be talking to me. There's nobody else around that she could be talking to. So maybe she is talking to me. She has to be talking to me.

She puts her arm around my shoulder. "Are you alright, honey?" She asks again. She's an older woman with grey hair and round glasses. She's holding the leash to a pretty dainty shih-tzu. I used to have shih-tzus. I miss them.

"I'm okay… I'm almost where I need to be…" I use the same excuse on her that I used on the other man. I look around to avoid eye contact.

"And where is that? Honey… at least let me call you an ambulance. You need medical attention…" She pulls out her old-fashioned cell phone and begins dialing.

"No!" I say frantically. "Don't…. I uh… I'm going to my… my grandmother's house… she lives right here in Jersey City…" I could probably get away with this lie if I didn't start crying. I sniff and swipe the tears away fast.

"Please let me get you medical attention, sweetheart. I'm not going to hurt you." She touches my hair, my dirty, matted, nasty, sweaty hair. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I'm okay!" I swat her hands away. I can't go to a hospital, no matter how much I might need it. I can't go. I can't go to a hospital. "Please… I'm okay. I just… I can't go to a hospital right now…" I close my eyes tight to attempt to stop crying.

"How old are you, honey?" She just won't stop touching me. She just keeps looking at my feet and my arms. My arms are badly bitten up from bugs, but they don't hurt.

"I'm seventeen." I slip up. Damn. I'm supposed to lie and say that I'm eighteen…

"My… W…Well you're just a baby…" The woman looks like she's going to cry. "Please let me help you… what's your name? How long have you been out here walking?" She pleads with me.

"I don't need help. I'll be okay." I beg her to leave me alone. No hospitals. Please no hospitals.

"Sweetheart, you're thin. You're a mess… you're going to die out here…please just let me help you. Let me take you to a doctor…"

This woman isn't going to let it go. This is why I don't want people to ask if I'm okay. Nosy bitches like her want to help me. It's not that I don't appreciate help, it's just that I can NOT accept help. I CAN'T go to a hospital. They can't get me in a hospital in another state… can they? They don't have to know my name either… right? "…Okay." I agree, mainly just to get this woman off my case.

"Thank you, honey." The woman dials 9-1-1 on her phone. She rambles on to an operator about connecting her to the authorities around here. I don't listen. My mind is too busy.

They don't have to know my name in a hospital, do they? They can just fix my feet and let me go… right? Maybe they'll get me a pair of shoes. They don't need my name…. And if I do give my name, they can't contact another state… correct? They can't do that….

"Yes, I need a paramedic on the corner of 3rd and 2nd street down on Parkway Lane. Yes… a young woman here just needs a ride to the hospital… yes. Th… thank you sir." The woman hangs up her phone and turns to me. "They said the paramedics will be here in about five to ten minutes, okay?"

I shrug. I should've just travelled at night to avoid all this. I'm not ungrateful, but I don't need help. I'm not going to die because of a few blisters on my feet. She should've just minded her own business.

"What's your name, honey?" She tugs the leash of her dog that was wondering too far.

This woman might possibly be saving my life. The least I can do is telling her my name, I guess. "Demetria."

"Demetria. Demetria, where are your parents? What are you doing here in Jersey?" This woman is really on my nerves.

"I'm just passing through." I answer, ignoring the parent question completely.

"Well I'm glad I could help you. You'll die out here in this condition."

I ignore her some more. Can't she just leave me alone now? I'm going to the hospital. My palms are sweating, mostly because of the nervousness but partly because of the heat. I wipe them on my pants.

The white paramedic truck approaches us. It's white and yellow with no sirens on it. Good. I don't need to make a scene about this. The driver and another man step out of the truck and approach the woman. I don't listen to what is said, besides the fact that the woman's name is Alma.

I contemplate on making a run for it and just not going to the hospital. I swear I would do it. But I already told Alma my name. Running is pointless. I'll just go to the hospital and hope that they don't catch me or anything. I'm so nervous.

"Alright, come with us." The driver says to me when he's done speaking with Alma. I roll my eyes and step into the trunk part of the truck.

Before I know it, I'm speeding off to a hospital.

A hospital in which I don't want to go to.


	2. Questions I Won't Answer

"How do you spell your name?" The question still rings in my ears fuzzily, even though I'm sure he's repeated himself twice by now. I don't want to be here in this hospital. I want to bolt out the door and continue to run, freely on my way to do whatever I please. I pick with my nails and keep my head down. My nails have grown to an unhealthy length. They're so long that I probably wouldn't need acrylic if I wanted to get them professionally done. They're not healthy though. They're soft and bendable, easily broken and torn. They're dirty too.

"Demetria? Do you know how to spell your name?" He stands in front of me with a pen and a clipboard with yellow paper on it. Of course I know how to spell my name; I'm not an imbecile. I just don't want him to know how to spell my name… for personal reasons. I bend my ring fingernail back until it stings. I keep my head down, staring blankly at the yellow sheets on the bed. The sheets are flannel and very soft. I lick my lips and swallow hard. I'm thirsty. I'd better start talking soon. I don't want them to think that I'm retarded or anything. It's been a year and half since I've been to school, but I'm not stupid.

"How old are you?" He tries a different question as if my reaction will be different. I stare at the hair on my arms. It's thick, collecting dirt and dust from my journey. My arms itch from the bug bites, but if I usually scratch them, they break open and bleed. My hair smells so bad, but it's so long, dangling in front of my face in shades of dark brown and faded black. I dyed my hair before I left home, in hopes of disguising me. I'm not sure how much it'd help, because my hair is so long that the once rooted black hair is now at the ends.

"Do you know how old you are?" His voice is beginning to get annoying. It's low, deep and gruff but still childlike. He sounds like he swallowed a bullfrog. Of course I know how old I am. Once again, I'm not completely stupid. I used to be an honor student for crying out loud. I'm seventeen. Again, I don't want him to know that for personal reasons. "Demetria, I'm only trying to help you…" He touches my arm. His hand is cold against my skin which means I'm probably hot. I don't feel hot though. I feel fine. His fingers trace my skin softly. "How long have you been walking without shoes?"

When did I lose my shoes? About… a month or so into walking, my flip flops broke. I nibble at a scab on my bottom lip. I lick my lips again and swallow some of my spit. "…A few months." My voice comes out in something slightly above a whisper. It's soft, like it'd break in the middle of the air. I hardly recognize my own voice. Maybe if I cooperate with him, he'll bandage my feet and let me go. I just want to leave.

"Months? How many months would you say?" He writes something down on the yellow piece of paper and looks at me again. I still don't know what this man looks like; I haven't looked at his face yet. I assume he's young, judging by the way his voice sounds. "It doesn't have to be an accurate estimate."

"…Four." I shrug. My feet are still dirty and burning from the pavement. Maybe they'll be able to spare a pair of shoes when I leave here. Will they just let me leave here? Do I have to lie to them? I should just tell them that my grandmother's house is here in Jersey City. They'll bandage my feet up and I'll get a chance to leave. At least I hope so.

"And how old are you, Demetria?"

"…Seventeen…and three quarters…" I throw the "three quarters" in there just so he can know that I'm almost of legal age.

"You're a minor?"

I shrug. I wouldn't exactly say a "minor." I'm just not eighteen. I'm old enough to take care of myself though. I've been taking care of myself for four months now. Can't he just fix my feet so I can get the hell out of this hospital? I don't even want to be here. Whose ass do I have to kiss to be let off the hook?

"…Thank you, Demetria… I'll send the doctor in to see you…" He isn't quite satisfied, I can tell. But he'll take whatever I give him.

If he wasn't the doctor, then what the hell was I talking to him for? Can I just get a damned doctor in here to fix me and let me leave? Jesus Christ, it's not that serious. Why do they force help upon you when you don't necessarily want it? Medical attention should be my choice, and if I don't want it, I shouldn't have to get it. This is beyond annoying.

I lift my head up and move my disgustingly long hair out of my face. This place is bright, sunlight coming in through the wide windows with no window panes. The floor is peach-colored carpet and the walls are a lighter cream color. There are pictures of flowers hanging everywhere and a wooden cross hanging above the bed. I probably need a cross. God probably hates me, and he has very good reason to if he does.

The sink to my right is dripping. I'm focusing on that. I wonder if they have a Dixie Cup or something. I'm thirsty as hell; they wouldn't mind giving me a little water, would they? I situate myself to climb off the bed. My legs crack violently and my feet burn when I step onto the carpet. I walk awkwardly to the sink, trying to keep the pressure off the blisters on my feet. I turn the handle on the faucet, and cold water spills out into the sink and down the drain. I hold my hair back with one hand and lean down to drink from the tap.

Just as I start to drink, the heavy wooden door to my room opens. I glance over briefly and see someone in a blue outfit coming through the door. It looks like a cop. No cops, please no cops. I leave the water running and duck down behind the sink, trying to hide. Police officers are a big NO in my book. Will they let me explain before they arrest me? Please?

"…Why are you hiding? I'm not here to hurt you…" A man's voice says. It's different from the guy who was asking questions. His voice is friendly and kind of hoarse. He sounds like he deals with children every day. Maybe he's just trying to trick me.

I stay behind the sink. Even though he knows I'm here, maybe he'll leave. He'll have to drag me out of here if he wants to get me. I could always scream… I grip my palms on the knees of my pants. My palms are sweaty and very clammy. I'm so nervous.

"What were you doing at the sink?" I hear him shut the door to the room, and his footsteps near me. "Were you trying to get a drink?" He stands in front of me and kneels down, one knee on the floor. He's looking dead at me. "Would you like a drink?"

I focus on his shoes. He has white and blue New Balance shoes on. His pants are sky blue and thin. They rise up slightly when he kneels down, exposing his hairy ankles. I can tell that he has plain white socks on. I don't look above his shins, though. I keep my head down at the peach colored carpet.

"You don't have to hide from me, you know. I'm here to help… not hurt…" He stands up and leaves me. He walks to the far side of the room and opens up something. I lift my head up a little bit. I can't see what he's opening through my hair. He turns back toward me and walks back. I immediately put my head back down.

He stands at the sink for a moment, lets the water run and shuts it off. He approaches me again and kneels down like before. "Looks like you've got some pretty nasty things going on with your feet…" He hands me a small, blue and yellow paper cup. "Mind if I check them out?"

I take the cup slowly and put it to my lips. I tilt it upwards and suck through a tiny hole that I form with my lips. I drink thirstily, and before I know it, all the water is gone. I shrug, as an answer to his foot question. I think I trust him. Maybe he's telling the truth. Maybe he really doesn't want to hurt me.

He grabs my hand and helps me up. I finally look at the top half of his body. He's medium-height with broad muscles in his arms and chest, but his lower half doesn't match the top half. He has a slightly stubbly face, like he might have shaved maybe two days ago. His nose sticks out a little far, but his lips are thin and full to offset his nose. His eyes are a dark brown, and his eyebrows are neatly trimmed. He has a mound of dark curls at the top of his head. He's not completely ugly, but I don't find him attractive. He leads me back to the bed and makes me sit down. I prop my feet up.

He pulls on blue gloves and stands in front of the bed to look at my feet. "So James told me you don't talk much…" He grabs my left foot and looks at it. "Are you just shy?" He puts my left foot down and grabs my right. He looks skeptically at both of them together.

I shrug. Maybe I am shy, maybe not. I don't know much about myself anymore. He puts my right foot down and walks over to the side of my bed. He grabs a tube attached to a machine and a needle from a tray. What's the needle for? I don't do needles… at all.

"I'm just gonna give you an IV… to get some fluids circulating through your body…. You're just a bit dehydrated." He hooks two tubes together and grabs my hand softly. He wipes it off with an alcohol pad. "…James said something about you being alone… outside for four months?"

I nod slowly. He pauses with putting the IV in my hand. "Four months? He was serious? I thought he was exaggerating. Have you really been outside for four months?" He puts the needle down and looks at me thoroughly. "When's the last time you've had a proper bath?"

I shrug. I honestly don't know the last time I've bathed in something that wasn't a lake or a river. I know I'm dirty, but there are worse things in the world than being dirty. "I don't know, sir…" I shake my head while I answer him.

"…Okay." He turns off the biggest light in the room so that only the lamp is producing light. It's a lot more pleasant in here with the softer light. "I don't mean to violate you… or your privacy. But, I need to do an exam on you… before I can send you off to the bathroom to shower." He pulls a curtain around us. What does he mean by exam? I'm fine, I really am. My feet are just screwed up, that's all. "Can you remove your t-shirt?" He hands me a soft blanket to drape over my body.

I don't budge. Why would I just take my clothes off for him? What does my body have to do with the blisters on my feet? Just fix my feet. Seriously, dude.

"I know this is probably… Very uncomfortable for you. But I do this every day. I'm strictly professional…" He grabs a blue gown out of a cupboard with sheer, thin underwear. "I just need to take a look at you before I send you to bathe. For medical reasons."

Okay, I guess. I grab the bottom of my t-shirt and pull it off over my head. I don't have a bra. I haven't had a bra on in four months. My hair fully covers my bare breasts, so I don't have to worry about that aspect. My belly ring is still securely in place, despite the fact that I lost the top ball to screw on it. The doctor walks over to me and presses his two fingers against my bare back. He rubs his gloved hands all over my back and on my shoulders.

"Does this hurt when I push on it?" He presses his fingers onto my back, where my ribcages are in the back.

"No…"

"Lie back, please." He asks of me.

I lie back down on the bed and rest. This is just… weird. Some random man that I don't know is looking at me, half naked.

"This is the worst part, I promise." He chuckles, trying to get me to un-tense up my shoulders. "Can you take your pants off, please?"

"No…" I shake my head. I'm not wearing underwear… He can't look down there. I cross my legs slightly. My eyes well up with tears. I just want him to give me medicine for my feet, and leave me alone. Please don't look down there…

"I'll keep it short. I promise I won't hurt you. I promise I won't hurt you…" He looks at me with honest eyes. I'm not so sure why it's so easy to trust him. Maybe it's just because I know good people when I see good people. He won't hurt me. I really don't think he will.

I open my legs up a little bit and let him take my pants off me. He doesn't even pull them all the way off. He pulls them down enough to see what's down there. "…Is your menstrual cycle always this light?" He looks down there for quite some time.

"My what?"

"Your menstrual cycle… You're on it… you didn't know that?" He leaves me alone and takes off his gloves. He throws them in the trash and washes his hands at the sink.

Since when do I get my period again? I haven't had a period since the first month. I'm on my period? It's not even dripping down my leg! Did I just now get it? How long have I had it? I shake my head at him. I can't believe… my period?

"You're seventeen, right?" He dries his hands and grabs more stuff out of cabinets. He hands me a fluffy towel and a sponge to wash with.

I nod.

"Where are your parents?" He motions for me to follow him to the bathroom. I stand up slowly, walking with my legs apart. I follow him to a white door in a corner of my room. I ignore his question. I think he understands that I don't want to talk about the parent thing. "…Do you prefer tampons or sanitary napkins?"

"…A tampon is okay." I sigh. Tears sting the corners of my eyes once again. I wish he would leave so that I can just have my time in a hot shower.

He opens up the door for me and we walk into a big bathroom. On the wall, there is a shower. The shower has no door to it or anything, just a curtain. On a shelf next to the shower, there is orange Dial soap and generic shampoo and conditioner. "Hot water is to the left, cold to the right. Pull the lever when you want to turn it off." He puts the gown and underwear on the seat of the toilet. "Easy around those feet, I'll take care of them when you're finished. Take your time."

Before he leaves, I catch a glimpse of his nametag. It's gold with black lettering. "K. Jonas, Pediatric MD." Wonder what the "K" stands for. He shuts the door behind him when he leaves.

I turn the hot water on to the highest extent, and mix a little cold in with it. Before I know it, steam fills the room up. I weasel off my pants and put them in a corner. I turn my head and see myself in a body-mirror. I'm undeniably thin. I look disgusting. My body is so dirty, and a little bit of blood runs down my leg. I hurry and step into the shower spray. I shut the curtain around me and let the hot water just spray down on me. It feels so good to have warmth. It feels so good to have clean water hitting me. It feels good to shower.

I cup my hands together and let water fill up. I put my handfuls of water on my face. What am I doing here? I sniff hard and just let sadness wash over me like the water that's cleaning me. My shoulders hunch and heave with the sobs that rock my body violently. I don't know why, but I'm moaning with every sob that leaves my mouth. I don't know what it is about the hot water that makes it so easy to allow every cry, every ounce of sadness I've ever felt to leave my body. I hold my stomach as I utter a deep moan. I'm crying for a number of reasons. One, my feet burn terribly in this water. Two, my arms ache as the water beats down on them. Three, I just want someone to love me and care about me. And four, I miss my mom and my sisters.

I sniff hard and try to stop crying long enough to wash my body. I wash my long, thick hair first. I wonder what I look like all cleaned up. Today is the first time I've looked in a mirror in a very long time. I was a little shocked by what I saw, but granted, my face was very dirty.

After my hair, I wash my body. I wash up thoroughly with the antibacterial soap and pull the lever to stop the shower. I watch as the water goes down the drain. Some of the water is pink from my blood, but it's not an exceptional amount of pink. I wrap the fluffy white towel around my achy body and step out of the shower area and into the main area. I rub the towel across my body violently to dry myself. I smell good, for the first time in months. I look at myself in the mirror. My childlike and innocent face is still fresh-skinned and slightly tan with rosy cheeks. My freckles remain in a small cluster on my nose. My eyebrows need waxed pretty badly, and my eyes are still milk-chocolate brown with thick eyelashes surrounding them. My eyes read sorrow and pain. My lips are bright pink, with a slight scab on the bottom from me biting on them.

There's a knock at the door, which makes me jump back from the mirror. ….Who is it?

I walk over to the door, still clutching the towel against my naked body. "Yes?" I put my hand on the door just in case I have to open it. I'm shaking because I'm nervous and because I'm getting cold.

"Will you open the door? I have a few more things for you." It's the same man's voice. He doesn't know when to just leave me alone. What more could he possibly have for me?

I turn the knob and open the door just slightly. His hand reaches in, holding onto a small pink bag. I take the pink bag from him. "Thanks." I mutter and shut the door again. I put the bag on the sink and open it up. I sift through it with my hand. A toothbrush, toothpaste. Mini deodorant, some mouthwash. A few tampons, two of each size. I grab one of the regular sized tampons and pop it open. I push it up and inside of me and wash my hands when I'm finished. I rummage through the bag again to find the toothbrush and toothpaste. I turn on the sink and start to brush my teeth. I'm feeling cleaner already.

I smile in the mirror. My teeth are still perfectly aligned, without the help of braces. My gums are bleeding from knocking all the plaque off my teeth. I missed being clean. I swish some mouthwash around in my mouth and spit. I grab the makeshift pair of underwear the doctor gave me and slide them in place. They're a little too big, but they're underwear so they'll do. I slip on the soft gown too. I mess through the bag again and grab a wide-toothed hairbrush. It's a small brush, but it's the only brush I've got so it has to work for my messy hair. I comb the brush through my knotty hair and grab a rubber band from the bag to tie my hair up in a damp ponytail. My ponytail dangles to the middle of my back. I clean up my mess in here and grab the doorhandle to open it up.

The doctor is setting things out on the bed. There is a series of needles sitting on a tray on the bed and bandages. I stand in the corner, just watching him. He interests me. I think it's because I can really trust him, and I don't see him as trying to hurt me. Or maybe this is all just a trick. But I can usually tell whenever somebody is a bad person.

"Are you finished?" He asks while unwrapping another needle. How many needles can he possibly need?

I nod at him. I rub my fingers along my arms. I'm clean, and I feel different. I'm really tired. I hope he lets me out of here soon so that I can find somewhere to sleep before sundown. It's always harder to find a place to sleep when it's dark outside. Especially if I'm in a new and different city.

"Well if you sit down, I can take a look at those feet for you." He motions for me to sit down on the bed. "I imagine you're hungry… you want a menu to look at?"

I plop down on the bed and put my feet up for him. "No thanks…" I deny the menu and let him look at my feet. Sure, I'm hungry. But I can't eat here. I don't have money to pay for it. And I really don't want to be washing dishes to pay off my dues. So I'll starve for now. I'll find something to eat before I lie down tonight.

"You don't want to eat? We have good food here." He sits down in front of me and works on my left foot first. He gives me three shots in my foot, and none to them hurt too badly. He smears cream all over my blisters and wraps it up. "Why don't you want to eat?"

"…I don't have any money. I'm not that hungry…" I whisper to him, watching him take care of my feet. I wonder how old he is. He doesn't seem that old. He can't be any older than 25.

He chuckles softly. "If you're hungry, you're welcome to eat here for free, Demetria. You don't have to pay for food." He works on my right foot. "Why do you act so scared? There's nothing to be afraid of while you're here."

I shrug and sigh. I don't know why I'm so scared. I mean, of course I know why I'm scared. I just wish I wasn't. I should just be content right now, but I'm not. "…What's your name?" I ask him. He knows mine, but I don't know his. I keep staring at my feet. They feel a little bit better since he gave me shots in them. They don't burn as much as they did, but they're still a little sore. "You know my name, so I was just thinking you could tell me yours, becau –"

"It's Kevin." He says without hesitation. He cleans up all the needles and the bandages and throws them away. "Paul, really. But everyone calls me Kevin, it's just easier." He takes off his gloves and throws them away too. "So you know my first and last name. Can I know yours?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Why not?" He sits back down at the edge of the bed to talk to me. "Nobody here wants to hurt you, Demetria. I just want to help you, you know? And I can't really help you if I don't know much about you."

"….I don't want you to help me. I don't want you to." I shake my head some more. "You just don't understand…"

"Let's just start with a few simple questions…. If anything is too personal, don't answer…" He proposes. He's been so nice to me. It'd be awfully rude of me to disregard that fact. I guess I could tell him a little bit…

"….Can I know your last name?" He asks first and foremost.

"Lovato." I mumble.

"….Where are you from?"

"Texas."

"What are you doing here? In Jersey?" He looks at me with crinkled eyebrows and suspicious eyes. "You walked here? From Texas?"

I shake my head. "No, I just… I took a train. From Texas to Kentucky… but I ran out of money… so I had to start walking." My eyes fill up with tears and I sniff.

"And you've been walking since Kentucky? Where are you going?"

"I don't know…"

"Do you have a mom here? A dad? Where are your parents? You're seventeen, right?"

"I'm seventeen." I ignore that question once more. I wipe my tears away and sniff again. "No. I don't have any family here. I'm just… passing through…"

"So you don't know where you're going?"

"No… I'll stop someday…"

"Well… until you're well enough to go out there again, you're staying here. I'm not…letting you go back out there, alright? You can stay right here for a while."

"…No cops." I look around the room and sigh. It's not that bad here. "No cops, and I'll stay…"

"I'm not required to contact any authorities." He assures me. "…You grab something to eat from the cafeteria. And get a good night's rest…. I'll see you tomorrow morning. I'm gonna head home, kid."

"See you tomorrow…" I wave goodbye to him. I really like him. He's easy to talk to, and I really do trust him that he won't tell anyone on me. He does a good job of making me feel like he cares. I'll probably be out of this hospital tomorrow, so I'll make the most of it while I'm here. I'll probably never see him again once I leave here, but just like the old woman that brought me here and the man that stopped on the highway to see if I was okay, I'll never forget the doctor who cared. I'll never forget Kevin Jonas.

I grab the menu from the drawer and look through it to see what kind of food they have here. I don't want to be here in this hospital, but I might as well enjoy it while it lasts. I have somewhere safe to sleep tonight, and I have food to eat for the night.

This is the best I could ask for at the moment.


	3. Proposal

"How was your night?" He changes the bandages on my feet first thing. I look at him some more. His curly hair is combed off to the right side and his face looks like he shaved since yesterday. His dark eyes stare at me, looking for an answer. He must be a pretty good doctor to be able to take care of my feet without looking at them. I wonder how old he is. I watch his hands as he unwraps my feet, wipes them off and rewraps them. I notice a shiny silver ring on his finger. It's a plain silver band, with a very small diamond on the brim. It's pretty… for a man's ring. I wonder if it's a wedding band.

"…I had a good night." I say with my still small voice. No matter how loud I try to talk, I just can't. My throat burns to the point where it's unbearable, so I utter a few low murmurs and talk in a small voice. I had a great night, quite honestly. It felt good to be able to lie down in a comfortable, warm bed. I slept dreamlessly, and I feel the most rested than I've ever felt in the last four months. I woke up with drool on the pillow, so it really must've been a great sleep.

"Did you? What'd you have to eat when I left?" His voice changes tone and goes friendly, like he's really interested in what I have to say. I relax a little more around him. I feel like him and I could be friends. Maybe staying in the hospital isn't actually a bad thing. I want to stay. I haven't had contact with a friend like this in forever. It feels good to have him speaking to me.

"I had um… the Asian chicken with the buttered noodles. It was really good. I had a piece of chocolate cake too… they really don't make me pay for the food?" I cross my legs after he finishes wrapping my feet back up. I sit Indian-style on the bed and lean forward, closer to him.

"No, they won't make you pay for the food. You're a patient here." He gathers up my old bandages and throws them away in the trashcan. "You and I need to talk today, Demetria. You okay with talking to me?" He hands me two cups, one has water in it and the other has a tiny orange pill.

"…What's the pill for?" I ask. It's small, but I've never seen a pill like this before. It's orange and oval-shaped with a blue stripe across it. It kind of looks like a bug, I think.

"It's a vitamin and an antibiotic. It'll get rid of the infection on your arm and it'll prevent your feet from getting infected." He urges me to take it. "It tastes horrible, but it'll make you feel better."

I pop the pill in my mouth and swallow it with a sip of water. It tasted horrible. I stick my tongue out and wrinkle my nose. Ick. "…I have an infection on my arms?" I ask him. I didn't know that. He didn't tell me that.

"Just a slight one. The beginning of a staph infection, that's all. Now… can we talk?" He grabs a clipboard and sits down in front of me again. "I just want to talk to you…"

I move my hair out of my face and lean toward him again. "Nothing too deep?" I sigh and prepare myself to open up to him. This is the reason I didn't want to come to the hospital. They ask too many questions here. But I guess I don't mind opening up to Kevin. I trust him. He seems like a good person… I hope.

"Nothing too deep, I promise." He agrees. He offers out his hand to shake on it.

I take his hand and shake it. I don't think he'd break a promise to me. "…What do you want to know?" I scratch my head. I'm not entirely sure I want to know the answer to what he wants to know. I imagine he wants to know a lot about me. I am his patient, and he knows basically nothing about me. Do I owe it to him to tell him about myself? I move my hair out of my face again and sigh.

"…Is anybody looking for you? Your mom, your dad? Any family?"

"No."

"When's your birthday?" He's writing things down. I don't like that. I grab his hand. He looks up at me. "Too deep?"

I shake my head. "…I just… don't write these things down… please…" I beg him. I don't feel comfortable with him writing things down. He can't do that.

He hesitates then puts the pen down. "No pens. No paper. Just you and me." He gives me a reassuring smile. If he writes anything I say to him down, it could be bad for me. He can't write anything down.

"August 20th." I tell him whenever he puts the pen down. I lick my lips and stare down at my fingernails. I pick at them to avoid eye contact with him.

"That's soon. In like two weeks, huh?" He's speaking in a way that suggests he wants me to look at him. I don't want to look at him. I don't want to look at anybody right now. I want to crawl up inside myself and die. "You'll be eighteen. That's exciting, isn't it?"

"I guess." I shrug and pull my knees into my chest. I lay my head on my knees and close my eyes. If I fall asleep, then I fall asleep. I probably won't, but if I do, oh well.

"What grade are you in? Are you a senior?" He touches my arms and strokes his fingertips along them, trying to comfort me. I don't open my eyes. I keep them closed, just because it's easier for me to answer him if I don't have to see his face.

"…I don't go to school." I speak to him slowly, like he's retarded. I've been alone for four months, where the hell would I find the time to go to school? I haven't been to school since junior year. I didn't even get to finish my junior year. I got pulled out the second semester into junior year. I haven't been to school since then. I kind of miss it…

"Well what grade are you supposed to be in?" He rephrases the question. He keeps rubbing my arms to get me to calm down. It's not working.

I feel like I'm having an asthma attack, which is strange, because I don't have asthma. I can't breathe too well right now. My heart aches, and my stomach has a knot in it. I don't want to talk anymore. "…I'm supposed to be in twelfth." I choke out, even though everything in me is telling me not to speak another word.

I think Kevin can see that I'm freaking out, because he stops rubbing my arms and grabs my hands. "Calm down, Demetria. We don't have to talk about school anymore… we can talk about something else… what do you want to talk about?"

I usually find that when I'm feeling this way, focusing on something miniscule usually helps me get through it. "…Is that your wedding ring?" My eyes are still closed tightly, but I can feel the cold metal as his hands rest in mine.

"Yes it is. I've been married for a year and a half now." He's talking to me easily, like he's trying to talk me down off a ledge. "My wife's name is Danielle. We're expecting our first baby in early March… My wife is a teacher at an elementary school." He just starts telling me about his life. I feel a little bad now. I know all this about me, and all he knows about me is that my birthday is sometime this month and I'm supposed to be a senior in high school.

I sniff. I'm calming down, but I'm still not completely calmed down yet. "…Boy or girl?" I keep talking to him about his own life, because that's what's easing my mood. Plus, I'm curious about the doctor that might have saved my life.

"We're gonna have a little boy. We found that out yesterday. We're thinking about naming him Cadence or something, but I'm trying to think of other names, because I don't like Cadence as much as Dani does." He realizes that talking to me is calming me down, so he keeps babbling on and on. I enjoy this.

"…Cadence is cute." I think I'm okay now. I lift my head from my knees and look up at him. My eyes apologize to him for having that mini breakdown. "…How long did you guys have to try to have a baby? Did it happen right away?"

"No, it didn't happen right away. We tried for about three months before she got pregnant." He takes his hands out of my hands and keeps looking at me. "You have any boyfriends back in Texas?"

I shake my head. "In case you couldn't tell… I'm not exactly the pick of the liter… Boys never really look at me like that. They never have." I shrug and put my knees down. It's easier to talk to him now.

"That's not true though, Demetria. You're very pretty. You're a very pretty girl, and you're very sweet. Any guy…. Or girl would be lucky to have you." He grabs my hand again and twists my arm around to examine the infection that's on it.

"…You're just being nice." I shake my head. "I appreciate it, though. You're only the second guy to call me pretty…" I twist a lock of my hair around my finger. It's so long it's disgusting.

"I'm not just being nice, Demetria. You're a pretty little girl. You're very naturally pretty." He sits cross-legged across from me too. If I didn't know he had a wife, I'd swear he was a little bit gay. Or maybe he just has a very good understanding of girls, because sitting here talking to him, I feel like I'm talking to one of my old girlfriends. His wife is lucky. "You have your first kiss yet?"

I nod. "Yeah… I've been kissed… and all that stuff." I rest my elbows on my legs and put my chin in my hands. "Just because guys don't think I'm pretty doesn't mean they wouldn't sleep with me. Guys at my school would do anything for a piece of ass." I roll my eyes slightly. "Excuse my language."

"The language is no problem." He shrugs me off. "Someday, those guys will settle down and realize that girls aren't a piece of meat. My little brother is the exact same way right now. He's seventeen too, and he thinks he rules the whole house. It's a different girl every week with him."

"You have a brother?" I perk up at this. I'm not sure why I like learning so much about him. I guess I like feeling like I have a friend.

"I have three. My poor mom's been the only girl. I'm the oldest. I have three younger brothers; Joe, Nick and Frankie. Nick's your age. You have siblings?"

I nod. "I'm the middle kid. I have two sisters." It kind of hurts to think about them, but I'm alright with it. "Maddie is the baby and Dallas is the oldest. I'm the middle."

"What about your parents? What are they like?"

I ignore the parent question and jump to another topic. "…Was your wife your first girlfriend? Or did you have a lot before her?"

He clears his throat. "Dani was my first serious girlfriend. I had little puppy romances, but she was my first serious one. We were both each other's firsts."

"First what?" I'm sure I already know, but I'm not sure first of all. And second of all, I want to keep the conversation going.

"…Boy, James was wrong. You are a talkative little thing." He laughs slightly and stands up to start cleaning up my room. I watch him as he puts things back in their places. "Both of us were virgins when we got together. We lost ours to each other… and it was really special." He puts the gloves away and cleans off the sink.

That's so cute. I hope to find that kind of love whenever I find a good place to stop running someday. "That's like… a fairytale. I wish the guy I lost mine to was… you know… not a… fucking idiot, for lack of better word." I shake my head just thinking about it. I wish I could take it back. It didn't even feel good.

"Was he one of the guys that didn't speak to you after he slept with you? My brother's that kind of guy. Nick's a douchebag like that."

"No, he still talked to me a little bit after we did it. But he was just… really rough with me. I guess it was because he wasn't a virgin, so he expected to have sex with me like I wasn't a virgin. But it didn't work that way. It really hurt." I turn my body so that I'm facing the sink where he's washing his hands.

"Some guys just don't understand how girls are. Don't worry about it. Someday, a boy will come around for you. Trust me." He grabs the clipboard and puts the pen in his pocket.

"…You leaving?" I'm a little bit saddened. I don't want him to leave. I enjoy Kevin's company. Can I beg him to stay?

"Yeah, I've gotta go kid. It's my lunch break. I'll be back from lunch in about an hour or so, then I've got other patients to check up on. I'll be back to change your bandages before you go to sleep. Stay outta trouble until I get back, alright?"

"Me? Trouble?" I laugh a little. "…What am I supposed to do until you come back?"

"Well for starters, eat something. Watch TV. Call some of your old friends on the telephone. The phone beside your bed works, just dial seven before you dial the number. Okay? I'll be back to see you before you head to bed."

I sigh. "Okay…. Bye Kevin."

"See you in a little while, Demetria." He shuts the door behind him when he leaves. I'm lonely now.

* * *

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"She's seventeen and she's the cutest little girl I've ever met, babe. She's so funny, once she starts talking. I really want you to meet her before I discharge her." I use my shoulder to brace the phone as I talk to my wife. I unlock the door to my car and climb inside.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to get attached to your patients, Kevin?" Her agitated voice is cute to me, even though she's scolding me for something she's told me about many of times before. I've lost count how many times she's told me not to get attached to my patients.

"But she's different, babe. She's so cute. And she's so scared all the time, but she really opened up to me today. She's adorable. Adorable in all kinds of ways; her personality is just so cute and she is pretty. Babe, you have to meet her. Her name is Demetria and she's seventeen and she has the longest hair I've ever seen before. I'd adopt her if she wasn't about to turn eighteen this month. Babe, if you met her, you'd fall so far in love with her." I grip the steering wheel with one hand and turn into the drive-thru of Wendy's.

"You need to leave her alone. When you discharge her, you'll never see her again and I don't want you to be upset. It's nice to have love and compassion for her, but baby, you're gonna discharge her and never see her again." Her voice goes from condescending to smooth and attempting to understand how I feel. "…We'll talk more about this tonight. I've got to go… the kids are coming in from recess. I love you."

"Love you too, Dani." I hang up the phone and drive up to the ordering station. I can't stop thinking about Demetria. I'm worried about her. Surely, she's okay without me there talking to her. But she went from zero to ten within a matter of seconds when we were discussing school. I hope she doesn't do that again while I'm not there to calm her down.

"Yeah, can I have a Chicken club with medium fries and a medium drink, please." I shout my order into the station and wait for a total.

"That'll be 10.56, please pull up to the first window." The lady taking my order says.

I push on my gas pedal and end up behind a white car. I sigh. I have to discharge her tomorrow. I can't keep her in the hospital when she's fine. I could lose my job. But I can't fathom discharging her tomorrow knowing that she doesn't have a place to go. She could die out there. I'm thankful I met her when I did, because she could be dead out there on the side of the road if I hadn't met her. She's the sweetest little girl I've ever met. I've gotta think of something. I could probably keep her for an extra day in the hospital. I could lie and say her feet need an extra day of healing. But that's only one day. I've gotta discharge her someday… and when I do, she still won't have anywhere to go.

I rub my temple. I gave myself a bad headache thinking about this seventeen year old little girl that has forever impacted my life. I hope she's okay there by herself for a couple of hours. I should have told the other staff members specifically to leave her alone. She doesn't trust just anyone.

When the white car drives off, I pull up to the window and hand the receiving lady a $20 bill. I wonder if Demetria would like some ice cream. She wouldn't be able to get ice cream from the hospital without paying for it, because ice cream is an a la carte item. A la carte items require cash.

"Excuse me, can I have a large frosty please? With a to-go lid on it." I ask the woman. She nods her head and types something in on the register. She hands me a bag with my food in it and my drink.

"It'll be 3.17 for the frosty." She says as she holds her hand out. I grab a five dollar bill and hand it to her. She hands me the frosty and my change. "Have a nice day, sir." She smiles at me warmly.

"You too." I mutter just to sound nice to her and I drive off. I can make it to my mom's house in twenty minutes if I hurry. From Jersey City to my mom's house, it's a 40 minute drive, but if I take the detour, I can make it there in half that time. I don't usually go home on my lunch breaks. I only go home about once every week, but today I really need to talk to my mom.

I turn my steering wheel and drive through a back-alley to avoid getting on the highway and dealing with the lunch-rush traffic. I wonder exactly what she's doing right now. I wonder if she's watching TV or what she's eating. I worry about her like she's my daughter. How in the world am I ever going to be able to discharge her if I'm feeling like this? I just hope that for her sake, she remembers me. I hope she has a cell phone. I'll call her if I have to… just to make sure she's still okay.

I make a sharp left and turn up the road leading to my parents' house. I really wish I didn't get so attached to my patients, like Danielle says not to. But Demetria is different. I'm not just attached to her, I also worry about her. I care for this little girl. My mom usually knows what to do when I get a little too close to my friends, so maybe she'll help me out with this one. And if she doesn't know what to do about it, at least I'll feel better to get it off my chest and talk about it.

I pull into my parents' driveway and park my car. I grab the frosty, my drink and my bag of food and head inside the house. My mom should know I'm coming, so I don't knock. I use my key and go right inside the house. "Mom… it's me… I'm home… on… lunch break." I look down and step over my brother's golden retriever. His name is Elvis, and he is so lazy that you could step right on him and he wouldn't even budge.

"I'm in here, honey." My mom's tiny, sweet voice calls from the kitchen. I don't know how she deals with having all boys in the house, but she hardly ever complains about it. We all know that she wants and wanted a daughter, but I think her ship has sailed after Frankie. With four boys, I don't think my parents can have any girls.

I walk into the kitchen and sit down at the table with my food. She's busy trimming Frankie's hair. That's also one good thing about my mom. With the majority of the house being boys, we get haircuts at least once every two weeks. It doesn't cost us much money because mom's a hairdresser, so she cuts our hair herself. "Hey mom. What's up, Frankie?" I empty out my bag and unwrap my chicken sandwich.

"Hi, Kev. What are you doing here? Dani told me that you were upset about something." She finishes off Frankie's hair. "Go play PlayStation or something, Frank. Kev and I need to talk about something." My mom dismisses him.

"Can you put this frosty in the freezer?" I ask her. I watch Frankie disappear from the kitchen.

My mom takes the frosty and puts it in the IceBox drawer at the bottom of the fridge. She sits down across from me. "What are you upset about? Is it one of your patients again?"

I take a bite out of my sandwich. "Yes. But she's different." I lick my lips and swallow the bite. "She's way different."

"So tell me about her. What's her name?" Mom folds her hands and crosses her legs, listening to me attentively.

"Her name is Demetria. She's seventeen… around Nick's age and she's the sweetest little thing. I talked to her once and fell completely in love with her. She's so cute, mom." I feel a little sentimental just thinking about her. I wish I knew what she was doing right now.

"Okay… and why is she in the hospital? What's the matter with her?" Mom actually sounds interested in what I say about Demetria.

"She's been alone for four months, mom. No family. She's been walking from Kentucky for the last four months. Her feet were so blistered when she came to me. I just feel like… like she came to me for a reason." I finish off my sandwich and start on the French fries. "She's so pretty too, mom. She has the longest hair I've ever seen and she has big eyes."

"What do you mean she's been walking for four months? What do you mean?"

"Just what I said. She's been walking for four months. She doesn't have a family. She has nowhere to go, and I have to discharge her tomorrow if I can't get an extension to keep her at the hospital. I have to send her back out there. She's gonna die out there mom, and I don't know what to do…" I finish my fries too and throw all my garbage into the bag.

"She doesn't have parents around here? Family?" My mom unfolds her hands and starts tapping her fingers on the table.

"No. She's from Texas… I assume all her family is in Texas too… she's here alone. No family or friends. Just her. And I have to discharge her…" I pull out my phone and look at the clock. I have to be back at work in a half hour. "I know I shouldn't be getting attached to my patients, though. Dani yells at me for that all the time."

"You really mean she's been walking around for four months? She isn't in school? She doesn't have a mother? And she's seventeen?" My mom's face looks like she can hardly believe the facts. She shakes her head disapprovingly.

"Four months, mom. And she's so sweet. She's scared of everyone but me. And she doesn't talk to anyone but me…" I clean up my stuff and get ready to head back to work.

"…I tell you what. You go ahead and discharge her tomorrow. When you discharge her, you bring her here. She's a baby, don't you let her go back out there with no food or water or shoes. Bring her here… to me."

"Are you sure? …What will dad think?"

"I'll talk to your father about." Mom gets up from her chair and grabs the frosty out of the freezer and hands it to me. "But you really need to stop this. This getting attached thing. You really need to stop. I understand that you have a big heart, and I'm proud of you for that, honey. But you should stop bringing your work home. Danielle and I have both told you about that. It's nice that you're going to help her, but you can't help every little girl that wanders into the emergency room."

"I know. But she's different…" I gather up the frosty and my cell phone. "Thanks, mom. Thanks for helping her out. It means a lot to me."

"No problem. But you really need to stop."

"I'll try." I nod at her and head out the door. I'll see her later. I know that it was probably really hard for my mom to allow me to bring Demetria here. Our house is a six bedroom house, so there is some extra room. But it's already crowded here with me, my four brothers plus Dani. I think it'll be okay though. I don't think she actually means that Demetria is going to move in. She'll probably only stay with us for a while.

I climb into my car and start it. I put the frosty on the seat next to me and back out of the driveway. I head back in the direction of the hospital.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

I flick through the channels in hopes to find something decent to watch on TV. I might just take a nap, because I'm kind of tired. My stomach hurts a little bit from the food I ate for lunch, but it's not unbearable. I reach over and sip my cup of water. I've just been really thirsty, like I can't get enough to drink. And not to mention, I have cramps. I don't really feel good, but at least my feet stopped burning. I sigh and look over at the clock on the nightstand. It's only 2:40. I won't get to see Kevin until 7:00.

I slide down slowly deeper into the covers of the bed and rest my head on the fluffy pillow. I roll over on my side and close my eyes. Maybe I can sleep until 7.

As I'm close to drifting off to sleep, the heavy wooden door flings open. I open up my eyes. It's probably the cleaning lady. I wonder why she comes every three hours. I'm not messy.

"Woah. Someone's a sleepyhead…. What are you doing asleep?"

It's Kevin!

I pop up so fast, excited. "What are you doing here? You said… you'd be back before I go to bed! It's not seven yet…" I'm so happy to see him. I smile wide.

"I brought something for you, and I have something to tell you." He sits down beside me and hands me a cup of something. It's from Wendy's.

"…What's this?" I ask, staring at it. It's chocolate flavored, whatever it is. It looks good. He got this for me?

"It's a frosty. You ever have one? It's kind of like a chocolate milkshake." He hands me a straw.

I put the straw in the cup and suck on it. It's good. I love chocolate… how did he know? "Thanks. It's really good." I put it down on the nightstand beside me and lean toward him. "Do you have to leave again?" I use the back of my hand to wipe off my mouth.

"Yeah, I have to leave again, kid. And I came to tell you that I'll be letting you out tomorrow. Discharging you." He lifts up the covers and takes a look at my feet. He doesn't mess with them.

"…Oh." I'm a little bit sad. I'll never get to see him again after tomorrow. This really sucks. I made a friend and now I have to leave him. But I guess that's what I get for living on the run like this. I'm just thankful that he's being so kind to me. "I'll miss you…" I tell him with a slight nod. I really will miss him. I'll miss talking to the only friend I've had in four whole months.

"I went home on my lunch break and I was talking to my mom about you." He flashes a smile my way.

I smile back. "You were? What were you saying? Anything bad?"

"No, nothing bad. I don't have anything bad to say about you. But my mom made me a proposal." His voice gets serious, which makes me listen to what he's gonna say next. "She wants me to bring you back to my house when I discharge you."

"No." I say sharply, and I mean it. No.

"No? Why not? You don't have anywhere to go…"

"I can't. Thanks, but I can't." My jaw starts trembling violently. I really don't want to start crying. I clench my jaw hard to get it to stop. I sniff.

"Demetria… just… Please come. We won't ask you anything. We just want to give you a place to stay. I won't be able to live with myself if I just let you go back out there…. It's me. It's my family. You trust me… don't you? I won't hurt you. Neither will my family. We just want to help you…" He rubs my back softly, comforting me.

"…To live with you?" I look up at him.

"For a little while, you can live with us…" He nods.

"….Uh…Okay." I shrug. I'm uneasy about this. I'm a mess right now, and Kevin is a nice person that comes from a nice family, I assume. I don't need to drag him into the shit I'm going through. I don't need this. He doesn't need this.

But I already agreed.

Looks like I'm going home with Kevin tomorrow. …I have to tell her about this. She'll be happy that I have a place to stay. Hopefully she won't worry anymore. It's not a permanent place to stay, I'm only staying there for a little bit. Hopefully I won't be too much of a bad thing for them. It's not permanent.

But it's a place to lay my head at night.

And maybe….

Just maybe…

Nothing will catch up with me here.


	4. Go After

"I'll be back to get you tomorrow morning around 7:30. I took off work tomorrow so that you won't be alone while settling in at the house. Get a good night's rest, alright? Make sure you eat something." Kevin hands me another one of the orange and blue pills and a cup of water. I wish he could stay the night with me. I don't like it when the other nurses come in to check on me.

I take the vitamin and stare at him. I don't want him to leave me. Maybe I just have a bit of separation anxiety, but I just don't like when people leave me. I blink twice and lick my lips. Kevin sits in front of me and starts unwrapping my feet. He rubs cream all over them again and rewraps them.

"Stay out of trouble until I get back. Okay? I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning. Don't worry. I promise I'll be back for you." He cleans up my old bandages and throws my cup away. "You hear me?"

I nod slowly. I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth in a desperate attempt to stop tears from falling. I really don't want him to leave me here. I wish I could go with him tonight. I blink my eyes once and all the tears that gathered up in my bottom eyelids spill over and fall onto my hairy arms. I sniff and wipe my face with the back of my hands. Kevin is grabbing me extra blankets out of the cupboard and getting me a new towel and sponge to bathe with. I sniff again and wipe my eyes again with the same hand.

"Here's extra underwear. And another tampon…" He approaches me and puts the pile of things on the foot of the bed. "Are you crying? What's the matter?" He sits down next to the pile of things and holds my hand. He looks at me with deep concern in his eyes. "Why are you crying?"

"…I wish you could stay. That's all." I shake my head and dismiss it. I know it's a stupid thing to cry over, so I don't want him to think it's a big deal. I sniff and wipe my eyes for the last time.

"I'll be right back to get you. First thing tomorrow morning, I'll be here. Just get a good night's rest. I'll be right back." He leans in and gives me a tight hug. He rubs my shoulder blade while we're hugging. I rest my head on his shoulder and sigh. When I'm sure I'm okay, I let him go. He pulls away out of the hug. "I gotta go now, kiddo. Okay? I promise I'll be back in the morning." He holds my arms as he looks at me. He hasn't broken a promise to me yet, so I believe him. "If you need me at any time during the night, just call me. Here. I'll write my number down for you. Just dial seven before you dial my number. Call me if you need me. I'll answer." He scribbles down his number on a piece of paper and leaves it by the telephone.

"…Bye Kevin." I wave at him softly and look down at my bed.

"Not goodbye, Demetria. It's see you later." He corrects me. "I'll be back for you. I'll see you later." He says. He disappears out the door and shuts it behind him. I'm alone now.

I'm so nervous about tomorrow. I'm going to go live with Kevin's family for a while. What if they don't like me? What if someone finds me and I end up dragging his family into this shit? I'll never forgive myself if I end up dragging his family into it. I promise I won't stay with them longer than a month. I'll stay with them until my feel heal completely, then I'll leave. I can't risk them getting hurt and caught up in my bullshit. I won't stay longer than a month. I swear.

I'd better go take a shower and lie down for the night. Kevin will be here early tomorrow morning. I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and hop down. My feet don't hurt so bad anymore. I grab the towel and sponge he left for me and walk over to the bathroom door. I shut and lock myself in the bathroom and start my shower water. I step into the spray after I take my clothes off and just let the hot water hit me. I can't stop thinking about what's going to happen tomorrow. I'm going to go stay with a family. An actual family. It makes me miss my own.

I use the sponge to wash off my chest. My boobs are so sore. They're always sore when I'm on my period though. I turn around and let the water hit my achy back too. I feel so much better once I'm in the shower. I close my eyes and let the water hit sore feet. I rinse all the suds off my body and pull the lever to shut the shower off. When I step out of the shower area, I look at myself in the body mirror. My body is decorated in purple spots of all different sizes. I look like someone colored on me with a marker. I stare at my arms. They look better than they did yesterday. I look at my legs. They're skinny and very tan. My stomach caves in a little too much and my ribs are visible, just a smidge. The patch of hair growing in my pubic area is pretty much at a disgusting length. I used to shave it all off, but it's long and thick now. I'll shave the next free chance I get. Surprisingly, the hair under my arms and on my legs isn't that long. Then again, my armpit hair and my leg hair never really grew that bad anyway.

I insert another tampon and pull the underwear on. I put on my clean gown and leave out of the bathroom after I clean up. I confine myself to the bed again and shut the lamp beside my bed off. I'm ready to go to sleep for the night, even though it's only 8:12. I look over at the phone. I don't know if I should do this, but I really want to. I could always hang up if I don't like what I hear…

I pick up the phone and dial the seven before I push the rest of the numbers. The phone rings in my ear and I wait with sweaty palms. The more it rings, the worse the outcome. I learned that a while ago. If it doesn't get answered within the first few rings, it won't get answered. On the seventh ring, I go to put the phone down on the hook when I hear a faint "Hello?"

I rush to put the phone back to my ear. "Hey. It's me…" I say, hopeful that she still remembers. She obviously remembers, but I always worry about those kinds of things. I'm just a worrier by nature, I suppose.

"Are you alright? Where are you?" She asks as soon as she realizes it's me. It still feels good to have her worry about me. I'd worry about her if the situation was reversed.

"I'm still in New Jersey. I had to go to a hospital… so I'm in a hospital." I clear my throat, because I can feel the grogginess in my throat.

"You're in a hospital? Oh my god. Thank god. You're okay? Are you eating? Are you healthy?" Her voice almost mirrors mine whenever I can speak in my normal voice. It's high pitched, kind of raspy and boisterous.

"Yeah. I'm doing good right now. I uh… met a good doctor. He invited me to come stay with his family tomorrow…"

"Are you gonna go?"

"…Yeah. But only for a month. I'm not gonna stay, stay…"

"…Ma says when it settles down a little bit here, we're gonna come find you… they're still looking. For answers…"

"Ma still talks about me?" I ask, a little bit amazed. My heart is aching right now. I close my eyes. I'm gonna cry.

"Every day. She cries a lot, still. She misses you… you should call her one day."

"You know I can't do that…"

She sighs. "We're gonna come find you. You know that, right? We love you…"

"I love you guys too… hey listen, I've gotta go. …Remember that we have to keep our calls short?"

"Oh… yeah. …See you. Love you."

"Love you too…" I hang up the phone and wipe some tears that fell. They're coming for me someday. They can come for me all they want… will things go back to the way they used to be? Will it ever be able to just be the three of us again? I still hold onto some mad, mad hope about it. I miss my family so much. It makes me feel a little better to know that they miss me too.

I turn off my TV and slide down in my bed. I close my eyes and settle in to go to sleep. I have a pretty big day ahead of me tomorrow. And I can't get enough sleep to prepare me for it.

* * *

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"Demetria… Wake up." I rub her back softly. I don't want to startle her. I just want her to wake up peacefully. She's really cute. I don't think I can say that enough. I tap her on her back once more. "Hey…. Wake up."

She turns over on her back and opens up her eyes. She looks at me with morning eyes and a crinkled nose. "…Hi." She seems happy to see me. I'm happy to see her too.

Danielle told me last night that I'm acting like she's a puppy or something. Maybe she's right. I am kind of treating her like she's an animal that I'm fascinated by. It's not really fascination though. I just want her to be okay because I care about her. Like she's my daughter or something. "Did you get a good sleep?" I begin to back her things up in a plastic bag. She doesn't have much. Just the dirty clothes she came in and a cell phone that doesn't work at all. I still pack them up in a little bag for her.

She sits up in the bed and yawns. Her hair falls around her waist and frames her face. "…What if your parents don't like me?" She worries. She stands up from the bed and tries to help me clean up.

"They'll love you." I reassure her with a smile. I can't see anyone not loving her. She's got the kind of personality that will make you melt as soon as you hear her talk. She's adorable, like the little orphan Annie. "They're all excited to meet you. Especially my wife. I've told them all about you. Don't worry about them liking you. Everyone will love you." I hand her a pair of pants to put on and a white t-shirt. I don't think her feet are ready to be shoved into shoes, so she'll have to walk outside in thick socks. "I signed all your discharge papers, so all we have to do is leave."

"…Do you think your parents will let me sleep? I'm fine with a couch or something…" She turns her back to me and puts on the t-shirt. Her hair is so long that she has to pull it three times to get it all through the neckhole. She puts on the pair of pants too.

"Of course they'll let you sleep. It's all going to be fine, Demetria. My parents will love you, and they're excited for you to come live with us for a little while. Everyone in my house was awake in anticipation. They want to meet the little girl I've told them all so much about." I hold her bag of belongings and head towards the door. She shakes while we walk to the door, like she's scared.

"Come on. Just follow me." I lead her out to the hospital's garage. We walk through the garage to my car. I made sure I parked close so that she wouldn't have to walk too far on her feet. As soon as she hits the outside air, she looks around. "You okay?"

"…Mhm. I just… didn't miss being outdoors…" She walks slowly, nearly limping to my black BMW. I follow her around to the passenger's side, helping her get in the car. She's so small and fragile she seems like she could break. I shut the door behind her and walk to the driver's seat. I get in and start the car.

"Buckle up…" I tell her as I fasten my own seatbelt. She grabs her seatbelt and buckles it. I pull out of the garage and up through a driveway. I pay the token to get out of the garage and we're on our way back to the house. She's unusually quiet. She's usually talking my ear off with some topic that interests her. "…Nervous?"

"A little." She nods and looks out the window. She looks fascinated with the bustling city. I roll down the window for her so that she can get a better look.

"…Is it always this busy? Do you guys live in an apartment?" There she is. That's my girl. She talks in her normal energetic, slightly childish voice.

"Nah, we don't live in an apartment. We don't live in Jersey City. We live in a little town about a half hour away called Wyckoff." I drive to take the detour so that we'll be at the house in less time.

"Oh…." She stops looking at the window and looks down at the seat. "…How old are you, Kevin?" She looks at me after she asks the question.

I turn into the alley that takes us straight to the house. "I'm 23… why?" I step on the gas pedal a little.

"…You just didn't seem old enough to be a doctor…" She reasons.

"…I'll let you in on a little secret." I look over at her when we reach a stoplight. "I'm kind of a nerd. I skipped the tenth grade, so I graduated high school when I was seventeen. Early enrolled in college. Met Danielle in our psychology class, and married her a year later." I explain to her.

"…Sounds like you come from a good life…"

"A decent life. My dad's a minister, but only part-time. He's a lawyer for the most part. He owns a small firm in Jersey City, nothing big. He preaches on the weekends. My mom's a hairdresser." I turn the sharp bend and now it's a straight shot to the house.

"…You're a preacher's kid? …Tough break." She jokes around with me.

I laugh. "He's not one of the crazy ones though. He doesn't force my brothers and me into anything. He's cool with the fact that we're not into church as much as he is. We used to do bible study when we were younger, but that's it."

"Guess you caught the good end of the stick." She shrugs.

"Yep." I pull into the driveway of the house, next to my dad's red pickup truck.

"…Who's truck is that?" She asks, as if she recognizes the car from somewhere.

"It's my dad's… why?"

"…When I was walking… he asked me if I was okay." She seems happy and accomplished. She's adorable, I can't take it.

"You ready to go in and meet everyone?" I grab her plastic bag and get out of the car. She gets out too.

"Ready as I'll ever be…" She looks at the outside of the house.

I know that we lie in a nice place. I know this. Our house is red bricked with white windows and green shutters. Ivy grows all over the side of the house and the steps are cement painted white. The main door is green with a brass knocker. My mom takes pride in making sure the outside of the house looks nice. She's always doing yardwork.

I lead her up the white cement steps and to the front door. I don't knock. I just walk right in. They're expecting us, and when I left to pick her up they were all awake. My mom was cooking an extravagant breakfast to welcome her. She's walking so close to me that she's stepping on my heels. I can tell that she's scared.

"I'm home, ma…" I say. I put my car keys down on the table in the hallway and walk back toward the kitchen. Demetria is busy looking around the house, familiarizing herself with the surroundings. "Everyone's in here, Demetria. Follow me…" I motion for her to come to the kitchen. She takes her time walking, looking around at everything in the house along the way.

I walk into the kitchen before her, to give everyone a warning. "She's really scared, so please try to make her feel comfortable." I ask everyone.

My mom is standing at the griddle flipping pancakes while my dad sits at the head of the kitchen table drinking his morning coffee and reading the newspaper. Nick is setting the table, Joe is grabbing the forks and Frankie is grabbing the glasses for the orange juice. Dani is sitting in the chair she always sits at. When I left her this morning, she was dealing with morning sickness. I think she's better now.

I walk back out into the hallway to let her know that it's okay for her to come in here. "Come on… it's alright." I motion to her. She looks at me with an unsteady look written on her face. "It's alright. We're not gonna hurt you…"

She nods once and steps into the kitchen. Her hands are bawled up in fists, gripping her pants. I notice that she does that when she's nervous. Everyone's eyes immediately go on her. Her head is up, but her eyes are shyly wandering around to everyone's faces. She's shaking a little bit. I put my arm on her shoulder.

"Everyone, this is Demetria. The one I've been telling you about…" I introduce them to her, proudly. "And Demetria… this is Everyone. My mom, my dad. My brother's Nick, Joe and Frankie. And the love of my life, Dani."

"…Hi." She uses the same reserved voice she used with me when she didn't know me at first. I know her voice can get higher than that.

"…Well you are a cutie." Danielle is the first one to say something. She smiles at her.

Demetria smiles back. "…Thank you." She releases her pants from her hands, which is a sign that she's letting go of her nerves.

"…I'm Denise, honey. Kevin's mother. Are you hungry?" Mom touches her on her shoulder which makes her jump back a little.

"…I'm starving…" Demetria admits.

"Well that's a good thing, because I made a lot of food. You can take a seat. Right there next to Danielle." She motions for her. Demetria takes one step and heads to sit down next to Dani. I rub her back softly.

"Go head and sit down. Mom will fix your plate." I rub her back once more. She sits down beside Danielle. I notice Nick staring at her. Joe's staring too. They'd better leave her alone.

"Would you like sausage, bacon or both, Demi?" Mom asks her. I shoot her a look. It's a little soon to be giving her nicknames, I think.

"…Both." Demetria looks down at her lap. She's still really nervous, I can tell.

"Do you prefer to be called Demetria?" My mom asks after I correct her with the look.

"…No. M…My mom used to call me Demi. All my family did… I don't really… I don't like Demetria. It's… kind of a mouthful." She chuckles. There she is again. Cracking jokes, that's my girl. I think this means she's loosening up some more. I hope that's what it means.

My mom smiles at her while she piles pancakes of her plate. "Then Demi it is." Mom hands Demi's plate to her. "Help yourself to anything that's on the table." Mom starts making everyone else's plates. I sit down next to Demi and Danielle. Dani lays her head on my shoulder. Demi puts a smidge of eggs on her plate.

"…Did you ever get to where you needed to go?" Dad puts down the newspaper and turns to Demi. He winks at her, as if they share some kind of inside joke.

Demi smirks at him and nods. "…I think I'm where I need to be now." She looks down at her plate and picks through it with her fork. Things are going well, as far as I'm concerned. Nobody is staring at her or calling her weird. She seems like she's a little bit more comfortable now. She's a sweetheart. I can tell that my mom likes her a lot.

"Is your hair all real?" Mom finishes handing us all our plates and sits down to eat something herself.

"…Yes. I need a cut…" Demi takes a little bite of sausage and nibbles on a piece of bacon too. She looks around, eyes searching for me. She looks at me. I can tell she has a question for me that she's scared to ask.

I swallow my own bite of food and turn to her. "What do you need, Demi?"

"…A drink?" She asks, sweetly. I can tell that she's unsure if she can ask or not. It's gonna take a while to get her to feel 100% comfortable around us. She can take her time, though. There's no rush.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

"Joe, pour her some orange juice." Kevin's mom orders one of her sons. I could get it myself. These people are so nice to me, I don't understand. I could get my own food and my own drink. No need to cater to my needs, I'm not that spoiled or anything.

The tall one with straight hair stands up from his spot at the table and goes to the fridge to grab the container of Tropicana. He's kind of cute. He has very broad muscles with squared-off shoulders and a hard jawline. He has stubble on his face and he could stand to shave. His hair is crop-cut short in the back and a little longer in the front, spiked up naturally. His back is strong with muscles in it too, and his butt sticks out a little. His eyes are a golden shade of brown, something close to hazel and milk-caramel. His eyebrows are bushy, but they're neat. He's actually very cute.

"I got it. Your food's getting cold." Another boy stands up. He's cute too. He grabs the jug of orange juice from the one named Joe and proceeds to pour me some. "I'm Nick, by the way." He looks at me when he puts the lid on the juice. He has a thin face with a slightly big nose. His eyebrows are thin too and his jawline isn't as strong, rather it rounds softly at a point. He doesn't have much facial hair, and he's very thin, but his arms have slight muscles in them. He has curly hair like Kevin.

"Thank you, Nick." I sip the orange juice he poured for me and put my glass back down. The one named Joe looks across the table at me then back at Nick. He snickers and finishes the rest of the food that's on his plate.

"So you're seventeen? Nick's seventeen too. When's your birthday?" Danielle asks me. She leans across the table to make eye contact with me while we talk. She's super pretty. Her hair is an off-blonde color, almost light brown. She's really skinny, and I don't mean to sound like a lesbian, but she has the biggest boobs ever. I'm so jealous. At this point, I'm not sure who the lucky one is, between her and Kevin.

"My birthday is the twentieth. Of this month… I'll be eighteen." I lean forward too, so that we can see each other. I feel like we're going to be good friends. I wipe my sweaty palms on the pants I have on and rest my hands on the table.

"Oh my goodness, your nails are so long!" She grabs my right hand and examines my nails. They are very long but it's not like they count for anything, because they're not hard. They'll break in a heartbeat if need be. "Can I do them for you? Please?"

"Um… sure. I don't mind…" I shrug and look around to see if Mrs. Jonas needs help with the kitchen stuff. She cooked for me, the least I can do is help with the dishes and such.

"Mom, I'm gonna take Demi upstairs so we can have girl time." She pushes out her chair and stands up. I follow her lead. I push out my chair and stand up too. I push my chair in after I get up though. "If you need either of us, just holler upstairs." She starts walking towards the hallway. I follow her closely so that I don't get lost. Their house is huge, but I guess it has to be with as many people that live here.

"Oh, Demi. Sweetie, if you want to lie down any time soon, I'll put some extra blankets on the couch in the sitting room. You'll be staying in the guest room upstairs, but the bed sheets are in the washer for the guest bed at the moment." Mrs. Jonas stops me as me and Danielle walk out of the kitchen.

"…Thank you." I say with a smile and continue to follow Danielle.

"How about a tour of the house before we head upstairs." Danielle leads me down the same hallway I came in through, but she turns off to the side through a wall with a glass arch. The room we're in now has two big couches. Both the couches are dark brown with sky blue throw pillows. There is no TV, and the flooring is wooden and shiny. The walls are painted deep red with gold trim. All over the place, there are pictures and bookcases, as well as an area with a hi-tech computer. "This is the sitting room. We don't really use this for anything, other than to get on the computer sometimes. It's more just for show." She explains.

"…It's really nice." I look around a little more, then sigh. It's homey here. Reminds me of my own house…

"And this is the living room. We use this room the most." She leads me from the sitting room and in through another glass arch. The living room has soft white carpet with bright white walls. There are two couches. One is actually a loveseat, and it's black leather. The other couch is a sectional, matching black leather. All the furniture is either glass or black. The coffee table is enormous and made of glass with a black frame. A black leather ottoman is in front of the loveseat, and the plasma screen TV is enormous. In one side of the room, there's a stereo player and a case with thousands of DVDs. They also have a black Nintendo Wii next to the TV. It's very nice.

"…Where are the bathrooms?" I ask her, near desperation. I have to pee so bad. And I have to change my tampon. Uh oh….

"There are five bathrooms total. There's one through this door, here you go." She opens up a wooden door in the corner of the living room.

"…Can you…get Kevin? Please…" I rock back and forth on my feet and look down at the ground. Why am I crying? There's nothing wrong with me. Stop crying!

"Sure, just wait one second." She walks a little fast to go get Kevin.

I sniff and swipe my tears away with my hands. I have to stop crying. There's nothing to cry about. Stop crying…

I look around. The dining room is big too. The walls and carpets are white just like the living room, but the furniture is all white too. The table is very long, fitting about ten seats total. The curtains are gold with little hits of ivory. Whoever decorated has a very good sense of style.

"What's the matter? What happened?" Kevin comes to me and holds my arms. "Why are you crying?"

"…I need…" I sniff again. "I need a tampon…"

"No problem." He goes into the bathroom and immediately looks under the sink. He hands me a green wrapped tampon.

"Thank you…" I go into the bathroom.

"Anything else, just ask." He pats me on my back and leaves.

I make sure the door is locked then pull down my pants. I squat over the toilet and relieve myself. I don't think my period is too heavy anymore, because the tampon I removed is still a little bit white. I wipe myself then look at the toilet paper. Nothing on it. I don't want to risk anything, so I put the tampon in just to be careful. I pull my pants up, flush the toilet and wash my hands very good. I step out of the bathroom, and Danielle is standing there.

"All better?" She asks me.

I nod. "…Woman problems." I roll my eyes playfully.

"I know what you mean." She laughs softly and starts walking towards the steps. I walk behind her. I think Danielle will be another friend. She's really cool so far. And we're about to go have girl time together. I could really get used to it here. I'll try not to… but I really could.

* * *

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"So what do you guys think of her?" I ask Nick and Joe. Mom made us drag the garbage out to the big trashcans, so we've got a little bit of alone time at the moment. I want to know what they honestly think of Demi. Whether they love her or hate her, I want to know. It seems like Danielle's really taken a liking to her. Mom seems to like her too. But the guys haven't given me much of a clue to assume anything.

"She's… something else, that's for sure." Joe shrugs and puts his garbage bag into the big can.

"What do you mean by that?" I put mine into the can too. I wipe my hands on the seat of my jeans.

"She's a little weird. Not my type. Too quiet and way too young. And she's too skinny for me. I need tits. She got ass, but no tits. She's cool though. For a little girl, she's cool." Joe shrugs. He's starting to sound like Nick with how shallow he is. Nick's usually the one that's more concerned about the physical attributes of a girl. Not Joe. Can't wait to hear what Nick has to say about her.

"Well, I think she's hot. Like… smokin' hot." Nick shrugs and laughs a little. "Only thing she needs for me is a haircut. That's it. Other than that… I think she's hot."

It kind of bothers me that they're both talking about her like this. When I asked them what they thought of her, I wasn't prompting them to speak about how attractive she is. I was asking what they thought of her personality and such. I know Demi's a pretty girl. I don't need them to tell me that much.

"Yeah, I could tell that you were trying to put the moves on her. The way you grabbed the orange juice from me and broke your neck to pour it for her." Joe teases.

"What can I say? I like to be a gentleman." Nick winks and laughs hysterically. "She'll be mine by the end of next week. Wanna bet?"

"Nick, NO. You're not gonna treat her like you treat those other girls. You better not." I warn him, and I warn him good. He better not treat Demi like he treats the other girls he sleeps with then dumps. I don't know why I'm so defensive over her, but if I don't defend her, no one's going to, because Demi just doesn't defend herself.

"Chill. I won't. I don't think of her like that…" He smirks. "I might want somethin' serious with her. She's different, for some odd reason."

"…If I find out you even so much as KISS her, I will kill you Nick. Don't even go after her. She don't need you messin' with her head." I stand in front of him and MAKE him listen to me. "I mean it, Nick. You better not do anything with her or to her."

"…What if she wants it?" He throws his hands out in an action that suggests what I'm saying isn't fair. "I think she's pretty, Kev. I wanna know more about her. And if we so happen to like EACH OTHER…. then can I kiss her?"

"No." I shake my head. "I know you, Nick. And you're gonna be trying to get in her pants. I'll kill you, Nick."

"Kevin! You're not gonna tell me we can't like each other… and I won't try anything sexual with her…. Please just trust me."

"No, Nick. She's…. just no." I shake my head and that's it. I mean no. I know my brother, and I know how he is. I know that he can't just treat a girl like she should be treated. I don't trust him. And Demi doesn't need him. So the answer is no.

"Whatever, Kevin. She's not your daughter, and you're sure acting like it. You can't expect me to just act like I don't like her just because you don't want me to." He rolls his eyes at me and stomps up the stairs and into the house. He slams the door when he gets inside. I don't care. He can be mad at me all he wants.

"Well, you don't have to worry about me trying to get with her. I think she's a bit of a weirdo…. I like blondes." Joe shrugs and punches me playfully in the shoulder.

I glare at him. Now's not the time to crack jokes. "Shut up, Joe." I stomp up the steps too. I don't care how Nick puts it.

I'm not letting him go after Demi.


	5. New Looks

"I wish I had your nails. They're so freaking long." Danielle files my nails and rounds them. She's already cleaned them and clipped them down as minimally as possible. She's going to paint them a pretty pink color.

"…Thanks. I um… should probably cut them down and start fresh… they're so soft…" I look down and watch her while she works. She puts my hand on her kneecap and puts a clear coat of nail polish on them. "I thought the clear stuff was supposed to go on over top the nail polish?" I turn my head and keep watching while she keeps putting the clear coat on them.

"It could go on top of the clear coat. But it's going to make your nails harder, so I' putting it on the bottom, underneath it." She grabs the pink and shakes it up. She twists the cap off and grabs the handle. My nails look pretty pink. "Demi… you ever been to a prom?" She paints my nails so neatly, none of the polish gets on my cuticle.

"A prom? Me?" I pull my finished hand away and hand her the unpainted one. "…Well… I mean it's not like a boy ever asked me… I'm not very pretty, in case you didn't notice…" I look down and let my hair fall in front of my face. It's still so long. I really need a haircut. I can't say that enough. I stare at the long, uneven strands of it. Some of it is black, other parts of it are brunette. My poor hair needs so much work done to it.

"You don't think you're pretty, Demi?" She finishes painting my other hand and cleans up both bottles of nail polish. She climbs off the bed to put them away back in her makeup bag.

I shake my head. "Boys at school never really thought I was… and I kind of agree. I mean, there are so many other girls out there that are really pretty…" I lie down flat on my stomach. I kind of feel like I'm talking to my sister after she paints my nails. Danielle is easy to talk to, just like Kevin. It must be something with the two of them. Something that I really like. "Why?" I ask.

"Because I think you're pretty." She grabs a tiny black rhinestoned carrying case and sits in front of me, cross legged.

I kick my feet up and cross them mid-air. "You do? You're not just saying that to be nice?" I rest my chin in my hands.

Danielle presses a button on her cell phone and music starts playing. I know this song. Dad used to sing it to mom before… well, yeah. "Oh, no. I'm not just saying it. I think you're gorgeous. Your hair is so pretty. And you've got these great big eyes…" She grabs a small brush out of the bag and a little jar of something. "All you need is a little bit of pink eyeshadow." She dips the brush in the jar. "Close your eyes."

I listen to her and close my eyes. Is she gonna give me a makeover? My sister used to put makeup on me all the time. "You're only seventeen. Give the boys time. They'll come around. They just have to stop being buttholes first." She blows on my right eyelid and moves on to lightly dust the pink makeup on my left eyelid. "You have your whole life for boys to see how pretty you are." She blows on my other eyelid. "You can open them."

I open my eyes up and look around. I can see a little bit of powder on my eyelashes. I blink rapidly, and the powder falls off them. I push my hair out of my face. "I need a haircut so bad." I move my hair over to the side and hope it stays tucked there.

"You really want a haircut?" She hands me a mirror so that I can look in it. My eyes look so much bigger than what they are, but the brown in them really pops. I look really pretty. She worked a miracle on me. I examine myself in the mirror. Maybe I could be pretty…

"Yeah. I really do want a haircut." I sigh and hand her the mirror back. "I don't have much money to get one." I sit up on the bed and take the thickest chunk of my hair. The ends are all split, but it's so long. It's not even silky, it's just really dry and breaking off. It definitely isn't healthy.

"Let's go talk to Denise. She's always up to give a haircut. She does my hair for free." She hops down off her bed and I get down too. I guess this is her and Kevin's room. If it is, it's very nice. It's all gold, everything. The bed sheets, the quilt. The furniture. It's a very sophisticated looking room.

I follow Dani down the steps and into the kitchen. Mrs. Jonas is still in the kitchen cleaning thoroughly, even though everything is already spotless. She must enjoy cleaning. My mom used to.

I stand behind Dani, a little bit scared. I don't want to just impose on her. I know this is how she makes her money, and I don't have any money to pay her. Letting her do it for free just seems so wrong to me. Danielle leans against the island and takes a deep breath before she starts to talk. "Hey, mom…"

"Yes ma'am?" Mrs. Jonas looks up from scrubbing the counters. She puts down her sponge and gives us both her undivided attention. Her eyes float to me then back to Danielle. My legs feel like Jell-O. I really don't want to impose on her. I could always make it up to her later. I could help her with housework or something to pay it off. I feel so bad getting her to do this for free.

"Will you cut Demi's hair? Her ends are really bad and stuff… and maybe you could strip it for her. Since it's two different colors, you know." Dani asks for me.

I plaster a shy smile on my face and rock back and forth on my feet nervously. The worst she could say is no, right? So why do I feel like I'm about to throw up? Why do I feel like I'm going to melt into a puddle of nervous sweat?

"Of course. I was going to ask you myself if I could cut your hair and style it for you. We'll have to go down to the studio, though. I need good lighting." She puts her cleaning sponge back into a bucket and leaves it on the counter. "Come on, Demi. Down to my studio… come on." She motions for me to follow her.

"I'm gonna go find Kevin. I'll see you a little later, Demi." Dani stands up straight from leaning on the counter and walks off in the direction we came in from. She's not going to sit with me while I get my hair cut? Well… I suppose it's not that big of a deal, right? It's just Mrs. Jonas… she won't hurt me. And I'll get to surprise her and Kevin with my new look after I get it done. This won't be so bad… it won't be so bad.

I follow Mrs. Jonas through a wooden door and down a carpeted flight of stairs. It smells like basement and mildew down here, but it's not necessarily a bad smell. The walls are all made of some kind of bricked pattern, and the floor is cobblestone. In one corner, there is a wash machine and a dryer. Next to the wash machine is an Air Hockey table. She keeps walking and I keep following. We step onto a brown carpet and there is a big TV with a small couch in front of the TV. On the walls next to the TV, there is a bunch of New England Patriot merchandise. This must be the man cave. I follow Mrs. Jonas to the last part of the basement, and there is her studio. The floor to her studio is a black and white checkerboard pattern. She has one chair, one sink and a shelf full of hair-care products.

"I know it's a little small, but this isn't where I always do hair. I have a shop on Parkway Lane. This is just where I do the boys' hair sometimes. I do Danielle's hair here sometimes, and my close clients." She sticks her hand out in a way that suggests she wants me to sit down in the chair. I take a seat in the comfortable, black leather chair. She uses her foot to pump me up a few feet off the ground. She flicks a light switch and the entire little area lights up. Even the mirror I'm facing lights up like a movie star mirror. "Do you want me to strip your hair or re-color it black?"

"…Um… you can… um… I don't know. Whatever looks nicest." I shrug slightly.

"…We'll go halfway. Find a happy medium. How about a dark brown?" She suggests.

"That's good." I nod.

"I'm gonna shampoo, condition and give you a gloss treatment. I'll let your treatment sit while I mix your dye. Then I'll dye it, cut it and wash it. Sound good?" She grabs a comb and starts to part my hair in sections.

"…What's a gloss treatment?" I've never had that before. I wonder what it is.

"It's just a little something that'll make your hair shine up real good. It'll make it really silky and soft." She grabs a small jar of something and unscrews the cap. Whatever it is, it's clear and watery, like lip gloss. She pulls on a pair of gloves, grabs one of those paintbrush looking things, and dips it in the gloss. "Your hair is so thick… are you Samoan or something? All my Samoan clients have hair like this." She starts painting my hair in the sections with the gloss.

"…I'm Hispanic and Italian…" I know I have thick hair. Imagine what it's like to have to walk in the heat with it on your head. It's a real pain in the ass to deal with.

"Ah, that's what it is. It's the Hispanic hair. You Latina?" She massages the gloss in one part of my hair and moves onto the next.

"Mhm."

"My Latina girls always have the prettiest hair. And the Grecians. Grecian hair is my favorite." She laughs slightly. Before I know it, she's on to the other half of my hair. She does this really fast. "I can tell that you're Italian, though. I can spot a pretty little Italian girl anywhere. I always wanted myself a little girl named Lucia. Instead, I got all boys. Sucks, doesn't it?"

"My mom had all girls… three of us." I make little conversation with her. It feels safe to talk to Mrs. Jonas.

"Three girls? What? Lucky woman." She grabs saran wrap and starts wrapping it all over my hair. "Where is your mother, Demi?"

"In Texas." I tense up a little bit. I think she can tell that I don't really want to speak about this, because she finishes wrapping my hair quickly and doesn't ask me any further questions.

"So, how long do you think you'll be in Jersey with us? You know you're welcome to stay for as long as you'd like… right?" She moves over to the part with all the chemicals. She cracks open two different bottles and squirts them in equal parts into a bowl.

"…Only for a month." I tell her my plans. No matter how much I love it here, I refuse to stay longer than a month. I like Jersey, I do. It's a beautiful city, and some of the nicest people I've ever met are here. But I can't stay here.

"Why only a month, dear? You can stay for as long as you need."

"…You're very kind, Mrs. Jonas… but I can't impose… I have to leave sooner or later."

"Well don't leave until you're good and ready, you hear?" She finishes mixing the dye in the bowl and brings the bowl over to me.

"I won't, Mrs. Jonas."

"Come over to the sink so I can wash the gloss from your hair." She drapes a towel over her shoulder and reclines the sink chair back. I sit down in the sink chair and lay my head on a pillow that supports only my neck. I let my head roll back into the deep part of the sink. Mrs. Jonas turns on the water and begins to rinse my hair. "How many inches do you want off?"

"I don't know… however many it takes to cut all the bad ends off. I want all my bad ends off." I let her rinse my hair out thoroughly. The gloss stuff smells really good, I didn't even realize. It smells like some kind of fruit that I can't put my finger on. Maybe it's apples. Whatever it is, it smells amazing. I've had long hair for four months…. I don't remember what it's like to have shorter hair.

Mrs. Jonas shuts off the water and wraps the towel around my hair. She towel-dries it so fast that I can tell she's professional at this. "If you want your bad ends off, I'm gonna have to cut about… two inches off. Maybe a little more. You want to keep it at a manageable length, right?" She grabs a comb and a pair of scissors. She starts combing my damp hair out.

"Yeah. Something long, but decent…" I put my head down for her. I hear the sound of her cutting my hair. I'm so glad I'm finally getting it cut. She turns the chair to the side and continues cutting. Her face is straight, no expression. She's concentrating. I really wish I could pay her for this. I have absolutely no money, though. Of course I wish I had more money than this, but I don't, so I have to think of some other way to repay her. I wouldn't mind if she was only cutting it, but she's cutting it, coloring it, making it soft and straightening it. There's no way I can just let her do all this for free.

"I'll cut you some bangs out whenever I straighten it." She combs the other side of my hair out, matches the length of the already cut side, and snips away. "It looks healthier already." She combs it out and cuts a little more. "It's still really long, and I have enough hair on my floor to make someone a wig." She chuckles and uses a brush to brush my hair out.

"I don't want to look yet." I keep my eyes down on the floor. I do see awful long chunks of my hair resting below my feet. "How much did you take off, though?"

"Honestly? About six or seven inches." She starts painting my hair with the dye. "It's still fairly long though." She's almost done putting the dye in my hair. "I'm not going to leave this dye in too long, because it's strong and it's a permanent dye. If I leave it in too long, your hair will break off." She wraps some more saran wrap over my head. "Did you box-dye your hair when you dyed it black?"

"Yeah. It wasn't professional or anything. I did it myself." I stare at my newly painted fingernails. Everyone here is just so nice. I wish I was born into this kind of family. "…Mrs. Jonas?" I have a few questions to ask her, and I think I'm finally comfortable enough to do it. I just wonder a few things about her.

"Yes, Demi?" She cleans out the bowl she mixed they dye in and throws away her soiled gloves. She starts sweeping up the hair on the floor.

"Is Kevin your… like… is he the nicest son?" I fold my hands and cross my legs too. I tap my foot out of a nervous habit.

"I wouldn't say the nicest… but he's definitely the most compassionate. Kevin is… well he's…. he's always had a really big heart. I guess that's why he went into pediatrics." She throws all my hair into the garbage. "Why? Are my other boys being mean to you?"

"No! No… they're all great. I was just wondering if they were usually that… short. With people they don't know. I mean, Kevin had me expecting that they would be jumping up and down to meet me. At least that's what he made it seem like." I unfold my legs and slouch down a little in the chair.

"Nick and Joe are a little… well… they're best friends. Ever since Kevin got married, they've kind of…stuck together. Don't take it too hard, honey. They're just little boys that don't know what to think. If Joe says 'jump', Nick would say 'how high?' and if Nick wanted Joe to kill someone, Joe would. That's the kind of relationship those two have. But if either of those boys make you feel uncomfortable, you gotta let me know. I'll kill them dead, they know that." She motions again for me to sit in the sink chair.

I sit down in it and she unwraps my hair. She starts to wash the dye out. "The younger one was nice to me. He poured my juice and introduced himself… I thought that was nice." I close my eyes while she shampoos my hair real good.

"Nick? Yeah. Nick's always been my little sweetheart. But since the puberty thing hit, sometimes he can be a little… wild. I guess it's his hormones, but I hope that he'll grow out of it." She washes the shampoo out of my hair and puts in some conditioner. "He's usually a real sweetheart. But you know how teenage boys get."

"…Yeah. Teenage girls can get that way too…" I shrug. It feels good to have her massaging this conditioner into my hair. It feels real good.

"I wouldn't know. I guess that's why I'm enjoying you so much. I can have a little taste of a teenage girl, right?" She rinses the conditioner out. "So far, I'm loving it."

I laugh softly. "Yeah? Why is that?"

She shuts off the water and wraps a different towel around my head. She dries it with the towel for a little, then grabs a blow dryer with a straightening attachment. She turns the dryer on to the highest setting and starts blow drying and straightening my hair at the same time. "Because I can do your hair. And talk to you about girly stuff. And you seem much easier to talk to than my boys, trust me."

I laugh again. "I'm enjoying it too." I look down to make it easier for her to dry it. "I'm so grateful that I met Kevin. He was so nice to me…" I sigh just thinking about it. He might have saved my life.

"I'm glad you met Kevin too, Demi. If you didn't meet Kevin, I wouldn't have met you and I wouldn't be having as much fun as I'm having right now." She grabs her scissors and cuts out some side bangs for me. She puts the scissors back down and continues drying and straightening my hair. I think she's done, just meticulously going over it. "You're all done. What do you think?" She shuts the dryer off and puts it down.

I look up into the mirror. My hair is really, really dark brown. It's still really long, just passing my breasts. It used to touch my belly button. It's straight and very shiny. She did an amazing job. I look like a totally new person. I remember what I looked like before my hair grew out like that now. I look brand new. "…I love it.. you did an amazing job, Mrs. Jonas…"

"Call me Denise, hon." She runs her hand through my hair. "It looks so much better now… go show Kevin your new look. I'll clean up down here." She stops rubbing on my hair.

I can't wait to show Kevin and Danielle. I look like a completely new person. I love my hair, and I don't look dirty anymore. I get up from the chair and walk back through the basement and up the steps. I wonder where Kevin is… I'll ask somebody. I walk into the kitchen. Nothing and nobody in the kitchen, except for the bucket that Denise was cleaning with. I walk into the living room. Only Mr. Jonas is in the living room. He's watching TV.

"…Um… Mr. Jonas? …Where's Kevin?" My hands sweat as I ask that, and I wipe them on my pants.

"Kevin? All the boys are outside playing ball. Go look out there." He grabs the remote and starts flipping through the channels. "Your hair is nice, by the way."

"Thank you… how do I get outside?"

"The sliding glass doors in the kitchen. It'll take you right into the backyard."

"Thank you again." I turn and go back into the kitchen. I walk to the white glass doors and slide them. The big golden retriever is lying down outside, right in front of the door. "…Scuse me." I step over him and onto the patio. The patio is nice. It's light brown wood, with glass chairs and a glass table with an umbrella over it. There's also a grill in one corner. I walk to the steps of the patio and go down them. There's a bricked path leading out into the backyard. I follow the path.

There's a large swimming pool with a diving board and a slide to it. It's enormous and looks like it's a lot of fun. To the side, where all the boys are, there's a basketball court. Danielle is sitting on the sidelines of the court. I guess I can join her.

"…Danielle." I call her name. I feel so annoying, but she's my friend… right?

She looks over at me from the court. "Look at your hair!" She stands up fast and rushes over to me. "It's so pretty!" She touches it. "And it's so much shorter. Look how pretty you look. You look so pretty!" She runs her hands through my silky hair. "Kev, look at what your mom did to her hair. She looks pretty, doesn't she?"

Kevin calls timeout and drops the ball. He walks over to me, his other brothers still standing on the court. "Yeah, mom did a real nice job. It looks healthy." He touches my hair too. I crack a little smile. I'm glad they love it, because I love it too.

Nick looks over at me too. It kind of looks like he's squinting at me with a weird smile on his face. "Be right back." He mumbles to Joe and Frankie. Slowly, he approaches us too. "Your hair looks nice." He compliments me. I smile a little bit too.

"Thanks…"

Kevin gives Nick a look, like they know some inside joke or something. Nick ignores him. It's definitely an inside joke.

"I like the new color. It really brings out your eyes…" He smiles at me fully, showing teeth. Is… is he flirting? With me?

"Thanks…" I rock back and forth on my feet and look at him. "…Your brothers are waiting. You should probably go back to playing basketball…"

"Oh, yeah. Sure thing." He babbles nervously. "Talk to you in a little bit." He nods once at me, returning to the court. He takes off his shirt. He doesn't have abs or anything, but he doesn't look too bad shirtless. After he takes his shirt off, he looks at me with a crooked smirk. Is he trying to impress me?

The game resumes, and the little one, Frankie brings the ball up. Nick goes outside on the wing, above the three-point line. He glances at me again. "Frank, I'm open." He puts his one hand up.

Frankie passes him the ball, and before Kevin can get out on him to play defense, he shoots the ball from the three-point line and makes it. After he makes it, he looks over at me again and winks. Oh my god, he's flirting with me.

Kevin takes the ball out next, after Nick made the shot. When Kevin goes to pass the ball to Joe, Nick steals it off him and makes an easy layup. He winks at me again.

He's really trying to impress me.

And it might be working.

I lick my lips and clap softly, pretending to be disinterested in him. I smile. Is he really hitting on me? Or am I just being stupid?

The boys go back on the other half of the court, to Joe and Kevin's basket. "When I make it from half-court, you have to clap louder than that." He says so me as he sprints back to his basket after Frankie gets a rebound.

"…IF you make it from half court." I say.

"We'll see." He gives me another smirk. Frankie passes the ball to him and instead of dribbling in, he dribbles out, to the half court line. He runs forward slightly, and heaves the ball up. It goes into the net with a swish. He looks at me and smiles. "Where's my loud clap?"

Yep, he's definitely flirting with me.

I clap louder, but still not very loud.

"Thank you." He laughs.

"…Welcome." I wink at him this time.

Why is he flirting with me?

And why do I like it?


	6. Wrong

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"I saw that, Nick. Don't think that I didn't." I grab my blue Gatorade from the fridge and unscrew the orange cap. I take a long sip of it as the sweat rolls down my temple. I'm already tired of telling Nick about himself. He's hard-headed, and always has been. But he needs to know that I mean business. I swallow my last gulp of Gatorade, screw the cap back on and wipe my mouth with the backside of my hand.

"Saw what?" He pours himself a glass of water from the jug, because he can't have Gatorade that much. He uses his glass to press the "ice" button on the machine on the fridge and his cup fills up with crushed ice. He is sweaty also, but his shirt is off so all his sweat is making his body shiny.

"Why were you hitting on her again? What did I tell you about that?" I put my half-drunken Gatorade back into the fridge and walk over so that we can talk face to face. I really wouldn't mind Nick trying to get with Demi if he wasn't such an ass sometimes. He is so mean to girls. He literally had sex with three girls in one week and won't talk to any of them. He's way too immature for Demi.

"Kevin. You might as well just suck it up. I like her. And if I have it my way, she's going to like me back. I'm not going to do her dirty, alright? I promise." His voice raises up a little as he gets defensive. He could swear on the bible and I still wouldn't believe him.

"What makes you promise me that? The fact that you want her in bed or the fact that you don't have a girlfriend at the moment? I mean it, Nick. Leave her alone if that's all you want from her."

"It's not all I want from her, Kevin. She's different. And it's really none of your business. Now if you'd excuse me, I'm going to shower then I'm going to go talk to her. And that's none of your business either." He slams his glass of water down on the island and storms past me. I pinch the bridge of my nose.

He better not hurt her. I've been trying to tell him about the way he treats girls, but I really mean it this time with Demi. I massage my temple and sigh. All of my brothers give me headaches, but Nick really takes the cake sometimes. He has the ability to give me a headache by only saying three words. I'd rather deal with Frankie while he has the flu than deal with Nick, and that's saying a lot.

"What's the matter, baby?" I hear the soft patter of feet approach me in the kitchen. I look up. Danielle is standing in the kitchen, in her bathing suit. She must be getting ready to tan or swim or something, whichever seems suffice. She puts her hand on the back of my sweaty neck and rubs compassionately.

"…Nothing." I shake my head and stand straight up. "I just need to go take a shower." I don't like to burden Dani with my problems, especially since she's pregnant and all. She needs to worry about other things besides my problem with Nick and his infatuation with Demi.

"I know when something's wrong with you, baby. You should tell me… I may not be able to fix it, but I can help." She moves her hand from my neck to my cheek. "Is it about Nick and Demi?" She guesses correctly. She reads me like an open book. I think that's what makes our relationship work. I don't even have to tell her what's wrong most of the time, she just knows.

"…Yeah. I just… don't want him to be with her, as bad as that sounds." I shrug.

"I know why, and you can't really stop it, babe." She gives me a soft kiss. She immediately makes me feel better with the kiss. Her lips are so soft and smooth. She pulls away and smiles at me. "You can beat the hell out of Nick if he hurts her though." She continues smiling and wipes my lip with her thumb. I kiss her thumb.

"I plan to kick his ass if he does." I rest my hands on her lower back and kiss her again. "I'm just trying to keep Demi from getting hurt… Nick's kind of a… he's a…."

"A bit of an asshole?" She finishes my sentence. That's exactly what I was thinking to say. "We all know Nick's an ass… but you can't stop him. If he wants her, he's going to get her."

"I know…" I sigh, realizing that I can't prevent Nick from going after Demi. But maybe I can warn Demi or something. That's the least I can do for her, right? I push the thoughts out of my head and start a new topic. "Are you laying out? Tanning? Or swimming?"

"Swimming. I don't need sun. It's just gonna be me, Joe and Frankie. You can hop in if you want."

"…Might have to take you up on that. Let me just go check on Demi. I'll see if she wants to come swimming."

"She should be up in our room. She wanted to lie down so I told her to lie up in our room instead of on the couch." Dani grabs her towel off the back of the chair and heads outside to the pool.

I turn and walk off in the direction of the steps. I hear a faint noise coming from the living room. It's probably Nick or my dad. It sounds like music. Definitely Nick. It sounds pretty, whatever he's playing. He's probably trying to woo Demi with whatever it is he's playing.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

I know I probably shouldn't be touching things that don't belong to me, but I really can't help myself. Ever since Danielle gave me a tour of the house and I saw it, I've needed to touch it. Nobody's in the house right now. So they won't hear me. I just have to touch it.

My fingers glide along the glossy keys, ever so lightly touching them. My foot pumps rhythmically as I play it. I feel like I'm having sex right now. I know that sounds very strange to you, but you wouldn't understand unless you were in my shoes. This is so pleasuring to me, every note is like my own personal orgasm, only ten times better, I think. When I open my mouth to sing, or when I hum along to the words, that's my own version of moaning.

"_If I can make it here, I can make it anywhere, that's what they saaaaaaay. See my face in lights or my name on marquees found down on broadwaaaaay…." _I close my eyes while I sing and just let my hands glide all across the eighty-eight keys. I feel so relaxed.

"_I'm gonna make it by any means, I got a pocket full of dreams, baby I'm from New Yooooork….." _I switch my foot to the left pedal and pump some more. _"Concrete jungle where dreams are maaaade of… there's nothing you can't doooo…. Now you're in New Yooooork…. These streets will make you feel brand new… big lights will inspire you. Hear it for New York, New York, New Yoooork…"_

I'd better stop playing soon. I don't want to get caught. It's like a drug to me. I don't want to stop playing. It's been so long since I have played… I want to play until my fingers bleed. I'll cut the song short, even though I don't want to. It's by far my absolute favorite song to play on the piano. _"One hand in the air for the big city. Street lights, big dreams all looking pretty. No place in the world that can compare, put your lighters in the air everybody say Yeah, yeah yeah…. Yeah, yeah yeaaaaaaahh… in New Yoooork… concrete jungle where dreams are made of… there's NOTHING you CAN'T doooo…"_

"That's YOU playing?!" A voice nearly yells from behind me.

I gasp and take my hands off the keys so fast and jump. I turn my head quick and look. It's Kevin. He looks like he's just been slapped. Oh no…

"…I'm sorry." I put my bottom lip between my teeth and bite. "I just… I mean… I just… I… sorry." I babble, trying to explain. I hope he's not too angry.

"No, no no. Don't be sorry. I just… didn't know you were that good. I didn't know you could play at all…. My dad would love you. And you can sing! Why didn't you tell me you could sing, Demi? Damn…"

I stand up off the piano bench and wipe my sweaty palms. "…I…it's not important…" I shake my head apologetically. "I'm gonna go lie down…"

"No! You're not going anywhere until you sit back down and finish that song for me. I want to hear it. I want to hear you sing, Miss "I like to keep secrets from Kevin." Sit down. Play and sing."

I giggle. "It's not that important… aren't you mad at me for touching your piano?" I sit back down on the bench.

"No, why would I be mad? Sing for me… okay? Sing."

"…I don't really want to anymore. I'll… I'll sing later. I just want to go lie down…" I'm not in the mood anymore. He scared the shit out of me, and I'm not in the mood anymore.

"You're gonna sing for me before the day's over, okay?"

"Okay."

"We're all going to be outside in the swimming pool. Just come get me if you need something."

I nod twice and stand back up again. I walk towards the steps and head upstairs to Kevin and Danielle's room. I pass Nick along the way upstairs. He's shirtless with swimming trunks on and a t-shirt draped over his shoulder. He smells good. He must have just gotten out of the shower. "Hey, Demi…" He stops me.

"…What?" I look him up and down. Does this boy own a shirt? He's kind of scrawny with no abs, but he doesn't necessarily look bad shirtless. His happy trail is thin but thick down where his pelvic-line starts. His legs are coated with hair too, and his armpit hair is long. He looks like a man in all the places, except for his hair-free face. He's kind of cute, though. His curls are my weakness.

"Where are you headed?" He asks, eyes locked on my lips. He shifts his gaze back up to my eyes. "You want to come sit poolside with me?" I watch as his Adam's apple bobs with his voice as he speaks. His face is cool, calm. It's really easy for me to tell that he likes me. I just feel it. It's like an instinct.

I flip my new, flip-able length hair over my shoulder and hook my thumbs on the belt-loops of the pants I have on. The shirt I have on comes up a little to expose my stomach, my belly button ring just slightly peeking through. "I'm going to lie down for a minute. I'll be out later." I let him down easily and try to keep walking up the steps. He grabs my arm and stops me again, stopping me mid-walk. I whip my head around to fast that my hair forms a curtain over my face. "What, Nick?" I ask as I move it away.

"Can I get you something? Like… anything?" He stares at me with hopeful, watchful eyes. He stares at my lips some more and licks his own. He's definitely asking to taste my lips. He's not very good at hiding his body language. Or maybe he isn't exactly trying to.

"…You could ask me out on a date before you ask for a kiss… just a thought." I shrug and smile, flirtatiously. I've never had a guy lust after me the way Nick is. It's kind of fun to tease him. It's kind of like making him beg for me. I like it.

"You think I want to kiss you? Seriously?" He looks below my waist then back up to my face. He's smirking like he's flirting. His eyes flit down to my waist. "…Nice belly ring." He murmurs, voice low and eyes locked.

I fix my shirt so that he can no longer see my belly ring. I address the kissing question, because he tried to just blow it off. "I know you do…." I comb my fingers through my hair and act as if I get hit on every day. I'm really good at flirting, I think.

"How do you assume?" He leans in and puts his hands on either side of me, cornering me in a way that suggests I'm not allowed to move. "Maybe I just want to know what your mouth tastes like." He flashes his teeth at me again, and I sort of melt. He has a nice, seductive smile. He makes it easy to imagine what kind of guy he is, beyond what Kevin's already told me.

"I can usually tell when someone's feeling the same way I feel…. Or something like that." I shrug and walk up the steps, making sure I switch as I walk away. Enough playing for one day. Nothing will ever happen between me and Nick, because I won't disrespect the Jonas family like that. But it's nice to watch him drool. It's actually kind of funny.

I sigh and turn the corner to get to Kevin and Danielle's room when I reach the top of the steps. I'll lie down for about an hour or so before I go downstairs to sit by the pool with everyone. I can't swim even if I wanted to, because I don't have a bathing suit. I turn the knob and walk into their room. I flop down on the bed and lie at the bottom. I don't need a pillow or even a blanket. I just need to lie down for an hour or two. I'm just tired at the moment.

The house must have central air conditioning, because their room is nice and cool. I lay my head down on their gold quilt and close my eyes. The slight humming of the vent as the cool air blows through it lulls me to a near sleep. I keep my eyes shut permanently and drift off into a dreamless slumber.

* * *

"**LEAVE HER ALONE! SHE'S JUST A BABY, SHE DIDN'T –" Silence fills the air as she stops screaming. I hear the sound of a slap, her body falls to the ground. I look through the slats on the door of the closet I'm in. I quiet my breathing down to a near impossible to hear whistle in my nose. His footsteps close in on me. I watch him through the cracks in the closet.**

**He stands beside the toilet, looks in the shower. From the shower, he moves to underneath the sink. He finds nothing that could lead to me. Please don't look in this closet. He walks back towards the door to leave, when my elbow accidentally knocks the towel rack. The towels come tumbling down in a loud, clutter. Oh no.**

**He turns sharply and opens up the closet door, exposing me. "MOM!" I scream, filling my lungs up with air and releasing it into my cry for help. Me calling for my mother is nearly pointless, because if what I heard from the closet is true, she's probably lying on the ground, recovering from the blow he just struck her with.**

"**I'm not going to keep telling you! Didn't I tell you!? GET OUT OF THERE." He roughly grabs my arm, squeezing until it tingles and I can't feel it anymore. I hold on with my free hand to the inside of the closet door. My right hand is occupied by him, so holding on with my left hand poses as a weakness. I can't hold on. I'm slipping. "DEMETRIA! GET OUT!" He drags me from the closet, I hear a crack emanate from my arm. **

"**OH MY GOD!" The deepest, ear ringing, blood curdling scream makes its way from my gut, out through my mouth. My wrist is broken, or maybe it's my arm. Something is definitely broken. He doesn't care, though. He continues to drag me out of the closet. I collapse on the ground, weak from the pain that is rick-rocketing through my entire body. "Lemme go! Please!" I beg. He's still squeezing my floppy wrist and dragging me from the bathroom and into the hallway. I pass my mom. She's lying on the ground with a bloody mouth, but she's regaining her strength and consciousness.**

"**Leave her alone!" My mom moans as she tries to push herself up off the floor to defend me. "She's a baby!" Mom stumbles slightly but stands upright, enough to grab his arm. "She didn't mean it!"**

"**Get out of here. This bitch…"**

* * *

Something washes over me, covering me like a blanket. My head lifts up, and a pillow is shoved under it. What the…

I open up one of my eyes and look around. His back is turned to me, but it sure looks like Kevin from behind. He has on a muscle shirt that shows his enormous, obviously bench-pressed arms. His back is slightly visible through the shirt, looking incredibly ripped. Finally, he turns to face me. I think he's still expecting me to be asleep. I close my eye a little, but I can still see under the slit of my eyelid.

He is slightly sweaty, his hair cropped up. He grabs the blanket he placed over me and pulls it up to my neck. He adjusts the pillow he gave me and moves my hair away from my eyes. He's obviously sweaty, but he doesn't smell bad. He smells like axe. He reaches his hand down and rubs it across my cheek. His hands are soft and very big.

He turns and leaves the room. I wonder what that was all about. It definitely wasn't Nick. It wasn't Kevin either. And if it was the little one, he certainly wouldn't touch me like that. That leaves one. But I thought he didn't like me.

Maybe I was wrong.


	7. Fun

**Demi's Point of View.**

"Demi… Demi." Kevin puts his hand on my back and shakes me. "Hey, wake up." He rubs my back instead of shaking me this time. "You've been sleep long enough."

I pop my eye open and look at him. He looks different. He's dressed in pajamas and white socks. When I fell asleep a little while ago, he was in his swimming trunks. I couldn't have possibly been sleeping for that long… could I have been? "How long was I sleeping?" I ask, sitting up. Red marks cover my arms and my shirt is risen up around my midriff. I must've been sleeping hard.

"About five hours. It's 7:30. Time to get up. Mom ordered pizza for dinner, it should be here in a little while. I don't want you showering tonight, because I don't want your feet in water all like that. I'll send Danielle up here to give you some pajamas." He puts his arm around my shoulder and pats me on my back. "Did you sleep well, though?"

"Mhm." I nod and yawn. I slept very well. I feel so rested. I'll probably be up all night now. I still don't believe I slept for five hours. I swear I just went to sleep like ten minutes ago, right after Joe put those covers over me. I really slept… hard. I rub my eyes and yawn once more.

"Alright. Dani will be up in a minute." He rubs my head as if I'm a puppy and leaves the room. I really hope he doesn't end up treating his kid like this, because I'm not a puppy and I don't like to be treated like a puppy. And if he thinks that treating me like a puppy is the way to show affection, I'd better warn Danielle that the baby is in for a rude awakening. I take off the socks I've been wearing all day and look at my feet. They look a lot better and they feel better though. There are hardly any blisters anymore. Kevin did a nice job on them.

I look around the room for the thousandth time today. The walls are plain white with gold baseboards. The only thing new that I notice is that in the corner, there is a stereo with a bunch of CDs. I wonder if they listen to any of the good stuff. Probably not. Nobody listens to good music these days. Before I can get up to go check out the CDs, the door opens up and in walks Danielle. She has on a pair of short blue jean shorts and a red tank top. Her light, curly hair is tied back in a high ponytail. It must hurt to be that pretty.

"Hey… Kevin said you need pjs?" She walks straight over to the dresser and opens up a drawer. "What do you usually sleep in? A t-shirt?"

"A t-shirt is fine." I swing my feet and look down at the floor. I kind of have to ask her a question, but I don't really want to. If I ask… it might make her feel weird. It'd make me feel weird. But who in this house, other than Mrs. Jonas would understand this better than her? I swallow my pride and open my mouth. "…Danielle?"

"You can call me Dani…. And yes?" She pulls out another plain white t-shirt and a pair of yellow shorts.

"Do you have… um… I know this is probably a bad question… considering the fact that you're um… carrying. But um…" I can't think about how to phrase this.

"Wait, wait, wait. Let me get this." She shuts her drawer and sits down on the bed next to me. "You know this is a weird question because I'm pregnant. Is that what you just said?" She tries to set the record straight. I must have confused her. Oops. I nod. She got that much. "Okay, you need a tampon. Right?" She asks very bluntly.

"…Yes." I breathe a sigh of relief. How'd she guess though? "How'd you know?" I wrinkle my eyebrow and look at her skeptically.

"Kevin said you'd need one. And yeah. I have a couple." She gets up and goes to another part of the room, inside a little pink bag. "Regulars okay?"

"Yes."

She grabs one for me and brings it over to the bed. "Hold on a second. I have something else…" She goes back to the same drawer she was already in and grabs something that makes a lot of noise. I watch her rip the tag off a pair of grey underwear. "Just use these for the night. Denise said something about taking you shopping tomorrow." She hands me the underwear too.

"Oh, no… I can't. I'm… not going shopping…" I shake my head and accept the clean pair of underwear. I can't let them spend money like that on me. Nope. It's not happening.

"Demi, you're gonna be here for a while. You can't live off my clothes. Especially when I grow out of all the cute stuff and have to start buying those ugly maternity clothes." She has a point. I guess I do need a few things. But I won't let them spend more than a hundred on me. I mean I just can't let them do that for me. I can't do it.

"…Where's the nearest bathroom?" I ask her. I gather the tampon and the underwear in my hand and stand up.

"Use me and Kevin's. Through those double doors, right there." She points and keeps rummaging through her drawers for pajamas for herself, I assume.

I go through the doors and end up in an enormous bathroom. It's nice in here. The white and cold interior matches their bedroom. I just hurry over to the toilet and quickly change my tampon. I think it's safe to say that I'm not on my period anymore, because the one I just had in is still completely clean. Maybe I don't need the tampon after all, and I feel so much better about Kevin not wanting me to shower. To be honest, if I was still fully on it, I'd probably take a shower anyway. I put the clean underwear on, flush the toilet and scrub my hands. I don't want to spend too much time in the bathroom just in case Dani has to use it or something. I step out of the bathroom.

"…I didn't need this." I say and hand the tampon back to her.

"Oh. You off?" She takes it and puts it back into her pink bag.

"Yeah, fortunately." I sit back down on the bed and cross my legs. I glance over at the stack of CDs again. There has to be thousands of them. I wonder if any of them are hers. "Are any of those CDs yours, Dani?" I ask, curiously.

"Those CDs? Yeah. They're all mine. They're all old though. Just the stuff I used to listen to when I was a kid." She stands upright and takes off her tank top. Her stomach is still really flat, as if she's not pregnant at all. And her boobs are so big, the cups on her bra are bigger than my hands. I'm so jealous. Here I get stuck with a lousy b-cup bust.

"Old? Like from the eighties and nineties?" I take off my shirt too, but I keep my back turned since I don't have a bra on. I grab the white t-shirt she laid out on the bed for me.

"Pretty much. Or from the early 2000s." She takes her bra off and puts a black t-shirt on. "They're all pretty much shitty CDs, though. I wouldn't get excited." After she puts her shirt on, she takes off her jean shorts and pulls on a pair of black basketball ones.

I put on the pair of yellow shorts and sit down. "…Can I ask you an awkward question?"

"Only if I can ask you an awkward question back." She counters with a laugh. "No, I'm just joking. Go ahead and ask me."

"What's your bra size?" I shamelessly just through it out there. I really want to know this.

"36C."

"….HOW?! MY BOOBS ARE SO SMALL…IT'S NOT FAIR!" I laugh hysterically, half serious.

"Baby, I was born this way." She makes another joke. She's actually hilarious. She reminds me so much of my older sister.

I laugh some more and lay back down on their bed. I look over at the CD stack again and read some of the titles. Jessica Simpson, A Teens, S Club 7, Aqua, B Witched, Christina Aguilera…. Atomic Kitten. "YOU HAVE AN ATOMIC KITTEN CD?!" I squeal.

"Don't judge! I said they're from the old days, okay?" She looks over at the stack with me, smiling brightly. I think she's enjoying my company as much as I'm enjoying hers.

"No, I LOVED Atomic Kitten. Can we listen to it?!" I get up and rush over to the stack and carefully pull out the certain CD. "Please, Dani?!"

"Why do you want to embarrass me like this…" She shakes her head in a playful manner. "I don't care though. Put it in the stereo." She shrugs.

I stick it into the CD slot and skip to track number eleven, my favorite song. The beat comes on, and it just reminds me of dancing in my bedroom with Dallas when we were both little. Dallas is my older sister, and we used to have so much fun together. I feel bad having so much fun with Danielle, because it just seems like I'm replacing Dallas. But I'm really trying not to.

"Oh my goodness, I wore this song OUT when I was younger. Me and my sister listened to it all the time!" Dani gushes and stands up. She sounds just like me.

"I KNOW. Me and my sister played this so much that my mom literally hid the CD." My part's about to come on. Wait for it… wait for it…

"_The tiiiiiide is high but I'm hooooldin' on. I'm gonna be your nuuuuuuumber one." _ I sing quietly, rather than loudly like I really want to sing. Dani is being quiet, so I don't want to be obnoxious with her or anything.

"_IIIIIIIII'M NOT THE KINDA GIRL WHO GIVES UP JUST LIKE THAAAAAT. OH NOOOOOO OHHHH!" _Dani literally screams in my ear and does a cute little dance. Maybe she does want to be obnoxious with me. She reminds me so much of Dallas. Dani even stands up on the bed. I stand up with her and sing loudly and totally obnoxiously with her. "I'm a terrible singer, Demi."

"That's okay. I won't judge." I shake my head and allow myself to have a truckload of fun with her. Dallas wouldn't be mad at me for having fun with Dani, would she? "We don't have to sing good, people are still gonna come see us in concert!"

"…What's a concert without microphones?" She leans down on the bed and grabs two remotes, one for the cable box and one for the TV. She keeps the TV one and hands me the cable box. I laugh so hard my stomach hurts.

Dani holds her "microphone" to her mouth and lip syncs to the verse. "_It's not the things you do that tease and hurt me bad. But it's the way you do the things you do to me." _She takes a strand of her hair and twists it around her finger and leans down and sings into her "microphone." _"IIIIIII'M NOT THE KINDA GIRL WHO GIVES UP JUST LIKE THAAAAAT. OHHH NOOOOO WOAAAH!"_

I hold my "microphone" and sing along with her to the chorus. We both sing soooo loud it's not funny. _"THE TIDE IS HIGH BUT I'M HOOOOLDIN ON. I'M GONNA BE YOUR NUMMMMBER ONE. NUUUUUUUUMBER ONE…"_

"….What are you two… DOING?" Kevin's voice interrupts our concert. Both me and Dani look over at him quickly. He has his cell phone out, recording us.

"We're having a concert!" I yell at him. "You gotta pay to see us! You don't get in for free!"

Dani's face is red from laughing so hard. "Give me the phone, Kevin. Before I kill you."

"Oh no. You two are hilarious. Singing into remotes, you guys are FUNNY."

"You're such an asshole, Kevin." Dani shakes her head and laughs some more. She and Kevin share a soft kiss. I want love like that. The kind of love that is unconditional and illogical. I want the kind of love where you can play practical jokes on your partner, and know that neither one of you meant it. The kind of love where you can call each other dirty names and swear at each other, but laugh about it later. The love where you can have the worst argument of your entire existence, and you make it up to each other with soft, passionate, intimate sex. The kind of love that Kevin and Danielle have.

"The pizza is here, girls. Mom sent me up to tell you guys to grab something to eat." Kevin rubs Danielle's bare arms and looks at me.

"…Yeah, I'm starving." I say, snapping myself out of the daze I was in as I was staring at them.

"Let's head downstairs… everyone is downstairs in the living room."

I nod and leave their room. I can't believe how much fun I just had with Danielle. That was the most fun I've had in a really long time. We're gonna have to have a concert again. The more I think of it though, the more embarrassed I am to have done it. Danielle has to be about 23 or so, maybe older. We're both a little too old to be putting on concerts like that, don't you think? But it was so much fun.

I follow Kevin down the steps and into the kitchen. He grabs a green paper plate from a stack on the counter and goes to a Pizza Hut pizza box. I follow his lead, grabbing a paper plate also. I look into the box. There are pieces of pepperoni pizza and pizza with sausage on it. There's also a small pan of chicken Alfredo and a little bunch of chicken wings. I grab one slice of pizza with pepperoni, one slice with sausage, a little bit of Alfredo and one piece of barbecue chicken.

"Do you like Pepsi or Mountain Dew?" Dani asks me.

"…Mountain Dew, please."

She hands me a can of Mountain Dew and we all go into the living room with our plates of food. It reminds me of my family how they're all crowded around the TV with their dinner plates in their lap. We used to do that all the time back at home. There's an empty seat next to Nick, so I guess I'll just sit there. I take my seat next to him and start to eat. They're watching a rerun of The Big Bang Theory. My mom loves this show.

"So, Demi." Mr. Jonas takes a big bite of a piece of chicken and chews ravenously. He talks with this mouth full. "Kevin tells me that you're a singer… that true?" He swallows his bite and turns to me.

"…No." I lick the grease from my pepperoni off my fingers and look down. Why would Kevin tell him that? I don't want to sing for anybody. I didn't even want to sing for him. I can't believe he told his dad that I'm a singer. I feel my cheeks get warmer as I blush bright pink.

"You sure?" He puts his empty plate down and looks over at me. "Cause if you're a singer, we'd all like to hear you sing. The boys sang in the choir for years, and they're not too shabby. He also says you can play the piano…he lying?"

"No, but…" I try to find a lie to use, but I can't bring myself to actually tell one. I don't like lying to people, especially to people that have always been good to me. "I just don't want to sing right now…" I say truthfully. The truth is, I'm not that good at singing. And I don't really want to embarrass myself. I know they say that I'm good, but maybe they're just being nice. Especially Kevin. He seems like he'd say that just to be nice to me. I refuse to embarrass myself.

"That's fine. It is a little late, I'll give you that. But you gotta sing for me tomorrow. Kevin says your voice is beautiful. I wanna hear."

"Um… okay." I nod and agree. The least I can do is sing to them. They opened their home to me. I'll sing tomorrow. Matter of a fact, I'll sing right now. It's not that bad. It's the least I can do…right? "I'll just… do it now." I shrug a little and stand up.

"Yes!" Kevin exclaims, happily and cheerfully turning off the TV so that the entire family can put their attention all on me. Woah. They didn't even need to shut off the TV. It's not that serious.

I wipe my nervously sweaty palms and saunter over to the piano. I guess I'll sing something other than Empire State of Mind. I'm a little bit limited on what I can play and sing on a piano. I've only learned to play and sing about three mainstream songs. All the other songs I know how to play are old school things, like Aretha Franklin and Diana Ross. They should know Christina Aguilera.

I sit down at the bench, adjust my feet on the pedals and begin to play. The room is dead silent except for the loud, booming sounds of me playing the eighty eight keys. I clear my throat and start to sing. "_…Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face. You told me how proud you were, but I walked away… If only I knew what I know today… oooh…" _I lick my lips and take a deep breath, because I'm about to hit a high note. _"I would hold you in my aaaaarms…. I would take the pain awaaaay…. Thank you for all you've done, forgive all your mistaaaaaaaaakes. There's nothing I wouldn't do to hear your voice again. Sometimes, I wanna call you. But I know you won't be there!" _I take another deep breath to prepare myself to hit a higher note. _"Ohhhhhh I'm sorrrrry for… blaming you for everything I just couldn't do…" _I slow down on the piano a little. "_And I've hurt myself… for hurting… yoooou." _I stop both playing and singing, and just let myself breathe. I hope that was good enough for them.

Nobody says a word. Everybody's faces are the same, in an expression that suggests they've been slapped. Either I was really bad or they just don't know what to say. I was probably really bad. Mr. Jonas's mouth is gapped open, and he looks shocked. Kevin has a smug look on his face, and Nick is looking at me like he just fell in love. Did I do good?

"Oh… my god." Mr. Jonas finally says.

"I told you so, dad. I told you." Kevin smiles and nods.

I must've done good.

And I also must say…

This is the most fun I've had in a very long time.


	8. War

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"You seem like you really had fun with Demi today…" I take off my socks and roll them up into a ball, placing them on the recliner in the corner of mine and Danielle's room. Dani takes off her shorts and puts them in the chair next to my socks before she slides between the covers and lies on her pillow.

"Yeah, I really did. She's a really cool little girl… how long is she staying here?" She props herself up on her elbow and turns to me.

I slide down in the bed too and hit the lamp so that our room is pitch black. "I don't know how long she's staying. I wish she'd stay forever, but she only wants to stay for a little bit." I scoot over and wrap my arms around her waist, like I usually do. She buries her face into my chest and gets comfortable in our usual position. "If I had it my way, she'd live here for good."

"Then make it happen. Where else does she have to go? Nowhere." She suggests, as if I could just snap my fingers and make that happen. I think she understands how stupid that made her sound, because she removes her head from my chest and presumably looks up at me. "You know what I mean."

"I can't make her stay, and you know that." I kiss the top of her head and switch the subject. "So what time do you have to go to the doctor's tomorrow?" I slide my hand down and rest it on her still flat, but slightly protruding stomach. "Please say after three…" I use the pads of my fingers to massage her belly.

"My appointment is at 10:30. I told you that… You work AGAIN?!" She raises her voice to show her disapproval. She didn't tell me that her appointment was at 10:30. Or maybe she did, I just forgot with Demi and everything. I'd better start apologizing now. She doesn't take me missing appointments lightly. "Are you gonna make it to ANY of the doctor's appointments?!"

"Babe, I'm sorry. You know I've been super busy with work and everything, I didn't realize when your appointment was. I'm so sorry, but you know how busy I've been with Demi…"

"I know you've been busy, work always comes first. When am I ever gonna come first?" She snatches her body out of my arms so fast that she hurts my fingers. She's so angry with me, and rightfully so.

"Danielle, you know you always –"

She interrupts me, "Don't tell me that I do come first to you. It's always been this way. Work is first, and I'm always second. You're more concerned about Demi than you are with me and your own baby. You should've just let me –"

I stop her mid-rant before she says what I KNOW she's going to say. "Don't say it, Danielle. Don't you dare say that. You KNOW I care about you and about the baby. Just because I'm a little busy with Demi doesn't mean that I don't care about you. Don't make it seem like Demi's replacing you."

"Kevin, hold ON. THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M SAYING." She sits up and hovers over me, angry and breathing hard. "You know that I really admire what you're doing with that little girl. Don't paint me to be a jealous little housewife. I'm just saying that if you're going to beg me to KEEP this baby, you should at least show a little more interest in something that I didn't even want."

"Well don't say that you don't want the baby, then. You know how I feel about you and the baby, Dani. I have to work in order to make sure the baby is taken care of, right? How dare you say that you don't want the baby…"

"Because I didn't, and I'm still not sure if I do! I'm just asking for a little bit of your time. You spend all your time at the damn hospital, no time with me. What's it going to be like when I have the baby?" I can tell by the way her voice is breaking that she's about to cry.

I sigh hard. "What do you want from me, Danielle? One minute, you're upset that we still live with my parents, so I promise you that we'll move out once we get the money. Then you don't even want to have the baby for GOD knows what reason –"

"YOU know my reason for not wanting this baby right now. Don't make it seem like I'm a selfish bitch. I'm just thinking about what's best for us right now and –"

"And you thought that letting a stranger raise our baby was the right thing?" I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh again. "I'll cut back on work to be here for you and the baby. But you can't complain about us moving out. Without me working extra, we won't have the money."

"That's all I want. I just want more time with you." She sniffs and uses the back of her hand to wipe her face. "I'm not jealous of Demi or anything. I just think that some of the time you're investing in her could be spent with me and the baby…" She turns her back to me and sighs softly. "You won't even be there tomorrow to find out how big he is now. It's kind of hard to be happy about the baby when you're not around…"

I can never win an argument with Danielle, so after a while, I usually just stop trying. "I'll take an early lunch tomorrow. I'll be there at the doctor's with you. I promise." I put my arms around her waist again and kiss her cheek. Her cheek is salty and wet from her tears. It breaks my heart to see her cry. "I'm sorry, baby. I'll shape up."

"…That's all I'm asking for." She turns her head a little and our lips meet. "Love you."

"Love you too baby." I rest my chin on her shoulder and give her another kiss on her neck. "And I love our baby too."

"He loves you too." She cracks a reluctant smile.

I don't think me and Dani's marriage is in trouble or anything. We just argue sometimes. I love her with every inch of my being, and I know she feels the same way.

"Goodnight, babe." She whispers.

"Night." I close my eyes and pull her closer.

I hope Demi's having a good sleep.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

I really hate when it thunderstorms outside. It's just the scariest thing to me. I don't really care about the thunder part, but lightning really bugs me. I could watch the scariest movie in the world and still sleep like a baby, but if it's lightning outside, I won't get a lick of sleep.

I think the reason I hate lightning is partly because in the second month of my walking, I was struck by it. It wasn't anything too bad, but it hurt and it was enough to make me forever afraid of it. I learned that when you're starving, the hunger makes you kind of stupid. I saw a pizza box in an aluminum garbage can, dug through it during a thunderstorm and bam. I was struck. I have a pretty nasty scar on my shoulder blade from it.

The bed Mr. and Mrs. Jonas gave me to sleep in is very comfortable and it smells good. But the occasional purple, white and blue flashes of lightning coming in through the wide windows are making it hard for me to get comfortable. Kevin is probably sound asleep with Danielle. I guess I could lay here until the lightning stops. It can't storm all night.

I look over at the clock. It's only twelve minutes past midnight. It should be done storming around three a.m. or so. I'll just sleep then. I'd turn on the TV and watch something to pass the time, but I don't know where the remote control is. So I must lie here in silence.

The smell radiating off the sheets and comforter is very pleasant. It almost smells like warm apples and cinnamon, with the slight smell of basement. The bed is so incredibly large that my feet are a good three feet away from even grazing the bottom board at the end of the bed. The bed is also so high off the ground that there is a step stool next to it for me. I'm bound to fall out of the bed because I'm a big klutz, but I'll try to avoid it. If this is the room they give their guests, then I'd like to know how they treat themselves.

Mrs. Jonas gave me four extra pillows just in case, and she left me with a can of ginger ale in the mini fridge in the corner because I had a slight stomachache earlier. To be honest, I think I might be a little sick from being outside for four months, but I've already burdened them enough so I'll suffer in silence. It's just a stomachache. I feel like I probably have the runs or something.

I turn over on my side and burrow my head into the pillow. The pillow I'm lying on is very fluffy with a silky pillowcase. I feel like I'm lying in a hotel bedroom. I stifle a big yawn and sigh. The lightning keeps flashing through my window and I just close my eyes. I'm doing a decent job of keeping my fear under control. The thing that's bothering me the most right now is these stomach cramps. I feel like someone is dragging a serrated knife through the pits of my stomach. I gotta try to fall asleep. Now, I feel like it's the runs and a terrible bout of nausea. The air conditioning is on throughout the entire house, so when a cold bead of sweat drips down the back of my neck, I'm surprised. I really have to throw up.

I'm usually very good with pain management, but with this cramp in particular, I have to utter a moan. "Mmmmmhhh…." I grind my teeth together and push down hard on my stomach. I'm almost certain that this is what giving birth feels like. And if it's not? I'm never having kids. "Mmmmmh…." I let another agonizing groan slide through my lips. Why am I in this much pain? I grind my teeth some more to bear with it. I need Kevin. But he's probably asleep. "…Kevin…" I mumble his name under my breath, knowing for sure that he can't possibly hear me down the hall but just hoping that by some miracle he can. "Kevin…" I mumble again. I feel like someone is stabbing me in my guts.

I roll over on my other side. As soon as I move, a terrible wave of nausea just washes over me. Slowly, I pull my knees up, constricting my belly. I close my eyes tightly and try my damnedest to go to sleep. I can't even get out of bed to grab that can of ginger ale Mrs. Jonas left for me. At this point, I'm not sure if ginger ale could even help me. I just need someone to cut my stomach out.

The door to the guest room opens up with a fairly loud creak. Is it Kevin?! I can't even raise my head to see. If it isn't Kevin then it's Nick. Or maybe it's Danielle. Or Mrs. Jonas. Hopefully it's someone to give me some medicine, dammit. "Kevin?"

"Shhhh." His voice says softly. I hear his footsteps near my bed and I feel him hovering over me. It's too dark for me to see his face, but I assume that he's really tired. I feel bad about waking him up. The tips of his fingers caress my forehead and push my hair away. "Is your stomach still hurting you?" He sounds different. He sounds tired and a little hoarse. I'm so sorry for waking him up.

"Yes…" I whine and a single silent tear rolls down my cheek. "It hurts so bad…" I'm crying harder than I realized I was. I sniff, my shoulders hunch up a little and I murmur out another soft moan in pain. What's taking him so long to get me medicine?

I hear the sound of a can being opened. "Here; take a sip of this." He holds out the shadowy figure of a can. I take the can from him and sip it. It's ginger ale, clearly.

"I need something else…" I sniff and beg him to get me something that'll put me out of his pain. I'll do anything.

Suddenly, I hear the click of a switch and my bedside lamp comes on. "You'll make it worse by crying. Just calm down for a second…" I finally see his face. And I'm a little angry. It's not Kevin at all.

"Leave me alone, I don't want you I want Kevin…"

"Kevin's sleeping at the moment." He pours this pink stuff in a bottle into a small cup. "I know how to take care of a stomachache though. Just ask Frankie." He hands me the cup full of pink stuff. "Drink this. It'll help you out."

I suck the thick, pink medicine up through a hole I form with my mouth. It tastes like bubblegum and it has a bad aftertaste. "You can get out now… I'm sorry for waking you up." I wave my hand, shooing him to the door.

"…Why aren't you sleeping?" He ignores me and walks over to the empty side of the bed. "Besides the stomachache thing." He sits down next to me.

"It's just my stomach, that's all. Now get out." I lie and dismiss him again. He ignores me once more and lies back against the extra pillows. "What do you want?"

"To make sure you fall asleep okay…" He flips a switch that shuts off the bedside lamp and settles in. He's not going to move anytime soon. I can tell because of the way he's getting comfortable next to me. "I can't sleep if you're in here crying in pain, you know." He moves my hair off my forehead again.

"I wasn't that loud." I rebuttal. My stomach is feeling a little calmer since I drank the pink stuff, but I could still stand to throw up. "You must've already been awake." I accuse him.

"I was. Then I heard you and I came to help you. What's the problem with that?" He pulls back the covers and lies down underneath the sheets with me. "I'm just a helpful guy." He shrugs and turns towards me.

"Well I'm okay now. You can go to sleep…"

"I can't sleep yet. You're still awake. I can't sleep until you're sleeping too."

"Well I'm not tired, so you're gonna be here for a while." How many hints do I have to drop before he just LEAVES?

"That's okay. We can talk until we get tired." He shifts his body to face me. "You from around here?" He asks sarcastically. He's so funny.

I laugh a little at his joke. "Obviously I'm not from around here, jackass."

"Woah, potty mouth." He laughs too and just goes silent. I think I might like his personality, because he's not the kind of guy that makes it awkward without conversation. We're both silent and there is absolutely no pressure to fill the air with meaningless chit chat.

"…Are you sleeping in here with me?" I ask. Surprisingly, I don't mind his company. It's actually quite nice to have him here. It feels natural. Almost as natural as it felt for me to open up to Kevin. It's even more natural than Nick to me at the moment.

"So Kevin can kill me? No way. I'm just here until you fall asleep." He puts his hand on my forehead again and pushes my hair away. Instead of taking his hand directly off me, he drags it down my forehead and caresses my cheek.

"What do you mean by Kevin would kill you?" I ask as his fingers graze my lips. His touch his so gentle, but his hands are so large.

"Kevin would kill me if I slept in the same bed as you, Demi. He already wants to break Nick's neck." I can't see much of him in the darkness, but I can see that he's looking directly at me. His hand is still beside my mouth, his thumb grazing across my bottom lip periodically.

"…What are you looking at, Joe?"

"I'm trying to figure out how a voice so big could come out of a small girl like you." He takes his hand off my face. "Don't fight your sleep. Close your eyes."

"I'm not fighting it…" I lie. My eyes are growing heavier by the minute, but I really want to stay up and talk to him. I don't want to fall asleep just yet.

"You are too fighting it, Demi. Like a baby. Go ahead and sleep… We can talk tomorrow. I like making new friends." He reaches over and puts his hands on my lower back. He moves my body so that I'm more comfortable. "Why don't you just get comfortable and we can talk until you fall asleep?"

I yawn and scoot over closer to him. I lean on him and rest my head on his hard chest. I put my arms around his back and close my eyes. He smells like clean laundry and aftershave. His chest is firm and very warm.

"…What are you doing, Demi?" His voice booms in my ear from the magnification of me lying on his chest. I hear the soft thump of his heart and that soothes me. His rhythmic breathing is lulling me to sleep also.

"You said get comfortable…" I mock him tiredly. I'm very comfortable in his arms, though I think I'd be more comfortable if they were Kevin's arms. I like being held while I sleep. It makes me feel safe. "I'm comfortable…" My voice trails off as I fade into a deep slumber.

He hesitates in a manner that makes me think that he's going to make me get up. "Yes, but…" He looks down at me and sees that I'm almost fully asleep. He sighs peacefully. "Goodnight, Demi…"

"Night… Joe." His name comes out of my mouth in a whisper. His heart beats in my ear and his cool breath crashes down upon me every time he exhales. Occasionally, he'll rub his thumbs across my arms but he never lets me go. And I don't mind the flashes of lightning anymore.

I used to have a boy best friend back at home who would hold me while I slept. His name was Matt and he was gay. But he was the best friend I've ever had. Maybe Joe can take Matt's place in the friend department.

I know a guy is a good friend whenever he holds me while I sleep.

* * *

**Nick's Point of View.**

I wonder what Demi's up to this morning. She was kind of sick last night before she went to bed and I'm still a little worried that she still is sick. Kevin's off at work already, even though it's only nine in the morning. Being that Kevin's at work, I could probably go in and see what Demi's doing without any interruption. It's kind of sad that I have to sneak in order to see her.

Kevin's convinced that I'm going to break her heart, which is totally untrue. I'd treat Demi so differently. I'd be so much better to her than I am to the other girls I've been with. She's just different. Period. And if I can't get Kevin to understand that, then I guess that's just too bad. I'm going to hit on her, because I like her. I really… really like her.

"Good morning, Nicholas." My mom greets me, sitting at the kitchen table sipping coffee out of a blue mug. She crosses her legs and continues to read the newspaper. "There are a couple slices of French toast in the microwave. Heat them up if you're hungry."

I pull out the dark brown wooden chair and sit down at the kitchen able across from her. "Morning, ma. Can we talk about something?" My mom is literally the best person in this world to talk to. She understands almost everything that I feel, and she's never judgmental. She has to be the best mom in the world.

"Anything, Nick. It's a little early, but try me." She puts the newspaper down and gives me her full, undivided attention. "What's this all about?"

"Girl problems." I sigh and think about how to phrase all of this. I can't use Demi's name, because then she'd probably think that I'm crazy for really liking this girl I just met. I tap my fingers on the glass table and take a deep breath before I explain. "Well… there's this girl, right? I really like her and –"

"Did you have sex with her already?" Even my mom knows what my previous relationships have been like. That's saying something. "If you slept with her already, I can't help you Nick."

"No! I didn't sleep with her… and I don't want to. She's a different girl. And I think she knows I really like her. At least she should know." I dig my fingers into my eyes to get all the sleep out of them. My fingers come back clean, so my eyes must not have been crusty.

"Then what's the problem? If you like her and she knows it, what's holding you back?" She takes another sip of her coffee then listens attentively.

"The problem is that I'm not really… supposed to like her. It's complicated. And I don't know if I should keep pursuing her or if I should just stop. But the thing is if I stop pursuing her, it'll make me sad. Because I really like her." Since when do I need Kevin's approval to go after a girl that I like? I'm almost eighteen, this seems so bogus.

"Then tell her how you feel. But don't hesitate with it. If you like her, you have to let her know while you still can so that nothing will happen. You know what happens when you wait to tell people how you feel…" She gets up from the chair she was sitting in and puts her blue mug in the sink. "If you wait to tell this girl how you feel, you might miss your chance."

"…Thanks ma. I really appreciate it." Well now it seems like my mom thinks that I should tell Demi how I feel. So maybe I should take my mom's advice and tell her. If I can't convince Kevin that I'll treat Demi the way she should be treated, then maybe I could show him. I won't treat her bad. She's different to me.

"Anytime, honey." She starts to do the dishes. I turn and leave the kitchen with the sound of the water running lingering in my head.

I'll just be straightforward with Demi. I'll just tell her how I feel about her. If she doesn't reciprocate the feelings, at least I told her. And if she does feel the same, then I just have to find a way to deal with Kevin. My mom's right, though. Demi's only going to be here for a little, so if I wait to tell her how I feel then I could potentially be ruining my chances. Demi might also think that I'm weird for liking her so soon, but that's a risk I'm willing to take.

I reach the top of the steps and turn to go into the guest room. She's probably still asleep. She must be a hard sleeper like Joe. She and Joe are the only ones in this house that are still asleep. I'll wake Joe up after I tell Demi how I feel about her. I turn the knob and quietly creep into the guest room.

Demi is still lying in the bed, pretty as ever. Her long hair is straight and it flows down around her waist. She's absolutely beautiful. But I'm so angry that I'm literally seeing red right now.

She's lying in Joe's arms. Joe is holding her, his arms around her waist and his head tucked into her neck. They're sleeping together.

He KNOWS that I like Demi. He KNOWS how I feel about her. And he's laying down in bed with her?! This is so fucked up. He's my BROTHER. He KNOWS how much I like Demi. HE KNOWS.

I step back and out of the guest room. Joe wants Demi too? That's okay. I know what I have to do.

This is war.


	9. Round One

**Demi's Point of View.**

There's a soft knock on the bathroom door. I whip my head around fast as I stand up from the toilet, throwing my used toilet paper into the bowl. "Demi, will you get dressed for me? I'm going into town today and I wanted to pick you up a couple things, if you want to come with." Mrs. Jonas's soft voice calls from the other side of the door. I flush the toilet and stand at the sink to scrub my hands.

"Um… yeah." I don't want to offend her by telling her that I don't really want anything nor do I need much other than a few pairs of underwear.

"Alright. I'll meet you out at the car in five minutes. Dress cool, it's a little bit hot outside today." I don't have much clothes to dress coolly. I guess I can just wear the pajamas Danielle gave me to sleep in last night. There are shorts and a t-shirt, that'll have to suffice. I scrub my hands until they're clean, dry them on a small towel and leave the bathroom. Neither Joe nor myself have mentioned what happened last night. I'm not real sure it needs to be mentioned. It wasn't that big of a deal. We just slept in the same bed.

I shut the door to the guest bedroom and find the pair of shorts that Danielle gave me to sleep in. It isn't until now that I realize that I slept in the same bed as Joe last night with no pants on. I realize how bad this probably looks, but I swear it wasn't anything like that. I didn't even realize I slept pantsless. I don't think Joe realized that either. We're just friends.

I put the shorts on and leave out of the room. I should probably make the bed, but it's kind of pointless because I'm just going to get back in it. I shut the door to the guest room and walk towards the steps to go downstairs. I run into Nick.

"Morning, Demi." He says with a tone that suggests he's a bit critical. I assume that I'm not the one that put him into this mood, because he doesn't even know me well enough for me to have put him in a mood. His neatly trimmed eyebrows raise up at me and I can't help but focus on the fact that his slightly squinted eyes are actually a pretty shade of brown.

"Good morning, Nick." I stop walking down the steps to talk to him for a moment. "…Sleep well?" I feel bad about the fact that he almost always initiates the conversation between us, so I try for once. He looks at me from head to toe, his eyes stopping around my waist then jolting back up to look me in my eyes again. I wonder what he's thinking.

"I slept okay." He answers, the tone of his voice calming down from the critical manner. "How about _you?_" He puts emphasis on the word "you" as if he knows something that I don't know. Maybe I'm just reading too far into his expressions and reactions.

"I slept good too." I start to walk past him when he grabs my arm lightly and stops me again.

"Hey. There's a… carnival in town. I was wondering if you'd like to go with me tonight… just to get out of the house." He sounds like he's been rehearsing how to ask me this all morning. Am I really that intimidating? He had to plan this out? I think it's much more special when boys spontaneously ask.

"Sure… I'd love to." I accept. Did he just ask me out on a date? I have a date with Nick tonight, I think. Wait til I tell Kevin this one. He'll be so happy for me. "What time are we gonna leave?" I tuck a loose strand of my straight hair behind my ear and sway nervously. Nick's cute, and he asked me out. He must think I'm actually attractive.

"We'll leave around 6:30, is that okay for you?" He runs his hand through his messy curly hair. "Maybe a little earlier than that. It depends on what time my mom's done cutting my hair."

"Okay… I'll be ready." I put my hands on my hips and look around. "It's a date?"

He nods once at me and stands to the side to let me continue my way down the steps. "It's a date." I walk past him and watch his eyes follow me as I do. I have a date with a hot guy tonight. What am I gonna wear? How am I gonna do my hair? What do I say? I'll be sure to ask Danielle all these things before I go. I don't want to make a complete ass of myself on my first real date.

I've been on a date once before. It wasn't really a date though. All he did was pick me up, take me to McDonald's and steal my virginity in the backseat of his car. He didn't rape me or anything. I wanted to have sex just as much as he did, but when he first put it in me, I immediately wanted him to stop. I guess he mistook my cries in pain as moans in pleasure and he went faster. He really hurt me and my underwear were so bloody that I had to throw them away. I guess that's what I get for never doing anything and cutting straight to the chase. Prior to that night, I had never used a tampon, never been fingered and never even masturbated. That's probably why it hurt like hell. It made me never want to have sex again, and I haven't had sex since then. I should've told him to stop when it hurt that bad, but I just couldn't. I don't know why, I just couldn't. He didn't know I was a virgin, so I guess that's why he was so angry when he pulled out and I had gotten my blood all over the place. I don't like to think of that night, so I'm going to stop now.

I walk out the front door and to the car that Mrs. Jonas is waiting for me in. Her car is a little red Camaro. She's so ladylike that it's hard for me to process the fact that she drives this car. It seems like someone else would drive it. Someone with tattoos and pink colored hair. I get into the backseat of the Camaro and strap my seatbelt on.

"Why are you sitting back there?" She turns around in her seat and looks out the back window. She pulls out of the driveway effortlessly and gives me a warm smile. She's so pretty and her makeup is always done up to perfection. I want so badly to ask her to do my makeup for tonight.

"I don't know…" I say with a shrug. "Um… where did you say we were going?" I stroke my hands across the soft, dark blue suede interior. She must've had this customized.

"To the shopping mall plaza. I have to pick up some zucchini and cucumbers for dinner, and this organic market is the only place I buy my veggies from. We can grab you a couple outfits while we're out. You need clothes, don't you?" She drives rather fast down a freshly paved road.

"Yeah… I need an outfit for tonight…" I assume she already knows about Nick's plans to take me out. Surely he's told her all about it by now.

"Oooh… what's tonight?" She adjusts her rearview mirror. Her long, dark hair flows in the wind with the speed of her car accelerating. She's so pretty to be a mother of four.

"I have a date…" I say slowly. Maybe he didn't tell her. If he didn't tell her, this is certainly not the way I wanted her to find out. "…With Nick?" I say the last part even slower, hoping to jog her memory and maybe find that she already knew. I can't help but think that if Nick didn't tell her, there's a reason why. Though it seems foolish, because everyone is bound to know that Nick and I are together if we're both out of the house at the same time tonight.

"You do… OH! You're the girl he was telling me about! Oh… oh my." She sounds completely shocked. Whoops. Me and my big mouth. There was probably a reason Nick didn't want his mom to know…

"The girl he was telling you about?" I ask suspiciously. He was talking about me? Was he saying anything bad?

"Yeah. He likes you. He was telling me about how he likes this girl and he wanted to ask her out. It's you…" She turns the car and drives straight on another paved road. "Boy he knows how to pick 'em."

"He likes me?" I guess I already knew that, but it's weird to hear someone actually say that it's true. He looks at me like I'm a piece of meat every time I walk into his vicinity. He smiles at me like no guy has ever smiled at me before. I already knew that he liked me. I knew…

"Oh yes. He likes you a lot. I've never seen my Nicholas act that way about a girl. I'm so glad to find out that his little crush is on you. That way he won't try anything with you. Kevin will kill him off if he does."

"Yeah…" I sigh dreamily. Nick likes me. I think I like him back. Is this the start of me getting a boyfriend?

* * *

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"What do you mean Nick's taking Demi out tonight?" I take a heaping bite of my chicken salad and talk with a full mouth into my cell phone. I can't believe what Joe is telling me right now. I warned Nick about Demi. She's off limits. How many times do I have to tell him before he catches my drift and just leaves her alone? I roll my eyes and hang up the phone. I want to yell, but it wouldn't be appropriate to do while I'm in a restaurant with Danielle, so I just hang up.

"Nick's taking Demi out?" Dani smothers her salad in Italian dressing and looks up at me. "Why does this make you so mad?" She stabs her fork into her salad and takes a bite. She hasn't been feeling the greatest since we left the doctor's office.

"Because it's Nick! You know what he's interested in, Danielle." I take a sip of my raspberry iced tea and swipe a piece of lettuce off my papery blue scrubs and onto the floor. I don't want to go back to work now. I'd rather go home and kill Nick. "He says he really likes Demi, but next week, he'll fuck her and then dump her. Just like that."

"Language, baby. Language." She puts her hand on my arm to calm me down. "Maybe Nick's had a change of heart. Maybe he's a little more mature now."

"Doubt it."

"And if he does do that to her, at least you live in the same house as him so he can't run and hide." She reasons. "It's not that big of a deal, babe. I think Demi is smart enough to not do that with him. Don't you?" She rubs my arm some more.

I sigh and grab my cell phone. I check the time. I have to be back at work in a half hour. We've gotta get going. I push the glass bowl my salad was in away from me, take one last sip of my iced tea and push my chair out from the table. "Come on, babe. I've gotta get you home." I toss a $5 bill down on the table for the waitress and stand up. Dani stands up too.

"What time do you get off work?" She asks me, holding onto my arm as we walk out of the restaurant. "I was thinking we could go buy some clothes today… for the baby."

"I'd love to, babe. I get off at 3:30. We can go as soon as I get off." I open up the car door for her and help her step in. The doctor told her today that she needs to take it easy for a little while. She's not allowed to lift anything or run a vacuum cleaner. He called it "bed rest", I believe. I shut her door and walk around to the driver's seat. I step in and start the car. "We can go to Babies R Us."

"You really want to go?" She looks over at me with her eyebrows raised, her tone skeptical. "We don't have to go, if you don't want to… I can always order things off line."

"Babe, of COURSE I want to go. We'll go when I get off work, alright?" I turn and get onto the highway. "I told you last night I was gonna be more involved and that's what I meant, babe. I'll cash my paycheck today and we'll go right after I get off work. It'll be fun."

She cracks a genuine smile. "Okay, we'll go." I can tell that she's happy that I agreed to go. We need to start shopping for the baby anyway. And this is also a good way to spend time with my wife and forget about what's going on with my brother and Demi. I'm actually excited to go shopping.

I glance over at Dani. Her hair is blowing in the wind as we drive. Her hand is resting on her slight baby bump. I can't make her want the baby any more than she already does, but I can make it easier for her. I didn't talk her out of considering adoption for no reason. I think it'll be different, though. I think she'll love the baby when she actually sees him for the first time.

I pull into the driveway of the house and roll the car to a slow stop. "I'll see you around 3:30, babe. Be ready…" I lean over and give her a meaningful kiss on the lips. "I love you."

"I love you too. I'll see you later." She opens up the car door and steps out. I really don't want to go back to work now. I'd rather stay at home with my wife and my unborn child. I force the anger of Nick taking Demi out from my head and focus on Dani and the baby. We don't have anything for the baby yet. We've gotta change that.

I have other things to worry about than Nick and Demi.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

It's almost 6:30, which means it's almost time for me and Nick to leave. Danielle helped me pick out the outfit that I'm wearing. Mrs. Jonas bought me a bunch of clothes today. I kept telling her that I didn't need anything more than underwear and a bra, but she insisted. And the more she insisted, the more clothes that piled up. I have a whole wardrobe now. I feel really bad, because she spent $560 on me. I guess I do need good clothes if I'm going to live here. I'll make it up to her though. "I've never been on a date before, though. What if I like… make a fool out of myself?"

"You won't, Demi. Just act like yourself. If you have to act differently around him, then he's definitely not worth your time." Danielle sits in front of me and does my makeup pretty. "You're a pretty girl. If Nick likes you, he'll like you for you." She blows on my eyelid and rubs some eyeshadow away.

"Do you really think I'm pretty, Danielle?" I open up my eyes and look at her. She's absolutely gorgeous. I wish I was as tanned as she is, and I wish my eyes were as pretty as hers. She's really pretty. And she thinks I'm pretty?

"I do." She picks up a black pencil and pulls my eyelid down. She scribbles under my eye with the eyeliner. "I think you have big brown eyes that are so pretty with a little bit of pink eyeshadow. And you've got the most perfect little lips."

"…You don't think I'm bug eyed?" I sigh and sit still while she finishes up my eyeliner. She pulls my top eyelid to the side and does my top eyeliner. "Everyone always calls me bug eyed."

"No. Your eyes are big and pretty. You have the prettiest brown eyes I've ever seen." She puts the eyeliner pencil down and hands me a mirror. "Take a look." She cleans up all her makeup and gets up off the bed. I stare at myself in the mirror. I guess I could be pretty, depending on how you look at me. I'm only pretty with makeup, it seems. Danielle does a good job of making me over. "Did I do a good job?"

I nod. "Yeah, you did great. Should I get dressed now?" I stand up from the bed too and walk over to the drawer where I put all my stuff at. I already took a shower when we came home from the mall, so I'm clean in that aspect.

"Yeah. Put your outfit on. I'm gonna go find you a ponytail to put in your hair. I'll be right back." She leaves me in the room by myself to get dressed. I grab the outfit she chose for me to wear out of the drawer. I pull on the dark blue shorts and button them around my waist. The shorts are so short that my buttcheeks are practically hanging out of the back. I pull them down to a suitable and appropriate length. I grab the yellow and white polka-dotted half shirt and put it on too. The shirt makes my belly button show, and it looks kind of pretty because Mrs. Jonas bought me a new belly ring today too. It's silver with a cluster of stars dangling from it. I slide my feet into the pair of yellow flip flops I got to match the outfit and sit back down on the bed. The shirt I have on is a little bothersome, because it's longer in the back and cropped up in the front, but it's cute so I like it.

"Here, Demi." Danielle comes back in the room. "Let me put your hair up, it's hot outside." She approaches me with a yellow ponytail in her hand. She stands behind me and starts yanking my hair, leaving my bangs out of the ponytail. "There. You look perfect. Nick's waiting downstairs… you'd better get going."

"Okay." I stand up and look at myself in the mirror for a moment. My hair is up in a high ponytail with my bangs hanging out. The ponytail goes great with the outfit. "See you later, Dani."

"See you, Demi. Remember. Just be yourself. And have fun, honey. Have fun." She combs her fingers through my ponytail and lets me go. "I can't wait to hear how it goes."

"I'll tell you all about it." I promise her and dash down the steps to meet Nick outside at the car. I look around. Nobody is downstairs for me to say goodbye to, so I just leave out the front door. Nick told me that we'll be taking his mom's car to the carnival, so I know to go to the red Camaro. The top of the Camaro is down and Nick is waiting in the driver's seat for me.

My stomach is jumping with butterflies as I descend from the steps and walk to the car. His new haircut looks… very different. He doesn't have his messy curls anymore. Instead, his hair is crop-cut with a little bit of messy spikes in the front. It's short. He looks different. He looks a little hotter than he did before. "Hey." I greet him. "I like your haircut." I add as I climb into the car, shut my door and put my seatbelt on.

"You do? Thanks. It's too hot out here to have a lot of hair on my hair you know." He smiles at me and starts the car. "I like your outfit. It's… nice." He looks at my legs and licks his lips. "You have nice legs."

I look down at my own skinny little legs. They're thin and white, but they're not too thin. They're a little thick, just a tad. "Glad you like them…" I shrug. "So where is this carnival at?"

"Downtown. It comes every year. It's a really nice little carnival. Do you like to ride rides?"

"Um… some of them. I don't really like to spin in circles." I look around as we drive downtown. It's a very crowded town, but it's beautiful in the summertime. I can only imagine what it looks like during the winter months. I bet it's ten times as pretty.

"Then we won't get on anything that goes in circles." He taps my leg and turns into a big parking lot. I see all the gaming booths and the rides. Most notably, I see the Ferris wheel. I'm excited and I feel very calm. I still can't believe that I'm on a date with Nick, though. Wish me luck.

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

"He seemed excited. To hang out alone with her, I mean. I don't think he'd hurt her or force her into anything. He really is acting different about her." I assure Kevin. He just got home from baby shopping with Danielle not too long ago. I knew he'd be pretty pissed about Nick taking Demi on a date, but he really needs to calm down. It's not that big of a deal. It's just a date. I'm sure to keep quiet about sleeping with her though. He'd kill me for that.

"If he values his life, he wouldn't do anything with her." He tosses me another bag of clothes for me to help fold. Danielle should be helping with this, but she's on bed rest and Kevin takes that very seriously so I'm stuck helping him do the labor of washing and folding all the baby's clothes. "I told him to back off her. I never said he couldn't be her friend. Why can't they just be friends?"

I feel guilty about lying to him. Technically, I'm not lying to him though. It's not like I told him "no, I didn't sleep with Demi last night." I'm just not telling him that I did. That's not lying, is it? I should just tell him. He shouldn't be too mad. It's not like that between me and Demi. She's my friend and I'm her friend. I would never hit on her like Nick is. Number one, she's too young for me. I'd feel like a pedophile if I ever laid down and had sex with her. Number two, I have someone. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend, Camilla for almost a year now, and we're getting pretty serious. Camilla probably wouldn't approve of me sleeping in the same bed with Demi last night, but I don't think she'd be threatened by a seventeen year old little girl.

I'll tell Kevin anyway. He'll understand that it wasn't like that at all. "You know how she was real sick last night?" I match two tiny pairs of socks together, fold them and stick them in a sock drawer. I grab another pair of socks to fold.

"Who, Demi? Yeah. Her stomach was bugging her last night, but she went to sleep fine." He's busy folding sleepers and onesies.

"Yeah. She was up crying late last night about her stomach, so I went in and helped her out. I gave her a little bit of medicine and sat with her until she fell asleep." I say it coolly, like it's not a big deal because it really isn't.

"You did? That was nice of you." He shrugs and folds up a thin receiving blanket. He puts the blanket into the drawer full of blankets and grabs a thicker blanket to fold.

"Yeah. She fell asleep on me and I fell asleep with her too. So we kind of slept together last night but it wasn't anything like the relationship Nick wants with her. It was innocent, really." I explain a little further.

"You slept with her?!" He stops folding fast and snaps his head to face me. "What is with you and Nick?! What part of 'No fucking with Demi' don't the two of you big headed buffoons understand?!"

"Kevin, you're tripping for no reason. It's not like that. She fell asleep on me and I fell asleep with her. It isn't like that at all. She's a little girl, what would I want with that? You're acting like I don't have a girlfriend to worry about. Calm down. It's Nick you have to worry about, not me."

"You slept in the same bed as her, and you're telling me that you didn't want to do anything with her? You're lying."

"Come ON, Kevin. I don't want her. It sucks for you, but here's the truth." I put down the socks I was folding and stand in front of him. "She's not your daughter, so stop acting like she is. And one of these days, someone is GOING to pop her cherry. But it's not gonna be me, so stop yelling at me. Yell at Nick. I'm not the one that's trying to get with her. It was only sleep." Okay, maybe I went a little overboard with the "pop her cherry" comment, but it's true. I'm not sure if she's a virgin or not, but if she is, then someone is going to screw her one day. And he can't pitch a fit at everyone that looks at her that way.

"Whatever, Joe. You and Nick just completely undermine everything I say. Everything I say. You slept with her, Joe. Can't change that fact."

I sigh. He's acting like I fucked her. I don't know what part of "I DON'T WANT DEMI" he isn't getting. He can fold this shit himself. I'm going to go call my girlfriend.


	10. And Again

**Demi's Point of View.**

I've been having loads of fun with Nick tonight, quite honestly. I've been having more fun than I'm willing to admit. I haven't gone more than ten minutes without laughing hysterically, and he's just been really nice to me. I think this is how a date's actually supposed to go.

We walk along the black paved parking lot over to the next ride. We just got off the tilt-a-whirl. It was so much fun, even though it went in circles. Nick's hand fits perfectly in mine and we swing our interlocked hands as we walk. "So you're from Texas?" He sips his blue slushie and looks over at me as we continue on our walk. It's dark outside, and the only lights are the ones that are illuminating from the rides and the booths that surround us. It's a beautiful sight to see.

"Yeah. From Dallas area." I suck on the straw of my red slushie and walk with him. My hand is sweating in his hand, but he doesn't seem to mind. I look down at the yellow flip flops I'm wearing. They're dirty from walking around all day today, but my feet don't hurt at all. It's about 8:30 at night now, and I'm still not tired of spending time with Nick. I keep the fact that Kevin said he's a jerk tucked in the back of my mind though.

"That's crazy. You're from Texas and you're all the way up here…" He pulls me closer to him by my hand. "You like it up here? Better than down there?" We walk into the line of the rollercoaster and wait. The line isn't too long, but it's long enough to cause us to have to wait for a while.

"No. I don't like it better up here than in Texas. But I do like it in Jersey. It's not bad." I lean against the bars that contain the line and look up at him. His new haircut makes him ten times more attractive to me. When I lean on the bars, I stick my butt out a little to get comfortable, but I catch him looking at it. I crack a smile. "What are you looking at? My face is right here…" I redirect him.

"I'm just looking at what I'm working with here." He chuckles. "It's not like I'm gonna slap it or anything. I'd never do that to you. I'm just looking." He smiles at me. I haven't seen him smile that much, it's weird when he actually does. It looks unnatural to me, but his smile is cute. "I'm sure my brother's told you about me, huh?"

"…Let's just say I know you don't just look at most of the girls you go out with." I poke the straw of my slushie around to break up some of the ice chunks in it. "I'm trying to form my own opinion, though. I'm trying not to be judgmental."

"At least you're giving me a fighting chance." He shrugs and throws his slushie away in the trashcan beside us. "It's nice to go on a date with a girl that hasn't already heard about me." He holds my hand again. "You're different from the other girls though…"

I rest my head on his shoulder and watch the rollercoaster go up a hill. "What makes me so different?" My eyes follow the rollercoaster as it goes down the hill and through a tunnel. One cart just came back to the docking station, so the line should be moving in a moment.

"I don't know…" He shrugs again, this time I feel it because of my head on his shoulder. "I just really like you more than I like the other girls I've slept with, I guess. I mean, lots of girls just throw it at me, so I take it. They don't even make me chase them. They're just willing to do it. It's a pleasant change to just talk to a girl. And usually when I'm with a girl, I can tell if we'll have sex or not. But with you, it's different because I don't really care if we do or if we don't."

"So you don't want to have sex with me?"

"No, I do. But I don't. I mean…If we had sex, I'd enjoy it. But it's not something that's on my mind. I care about you too much to want to do anything like that with you." We walk up to the loading gate. We'll be on the next cart. "Am I making any sense to you?"

"Perfect sense." I look down at the ground. "I think it's noble… that you're not just after that kind of stuff. It means a lot."

He rubs my back and we just stand there in silence for a few moments. The silence isn't like the silence with Joe. With Joe, there is no pressure to fill the silence with conversation. With Nick, I feel obligated to talk or something. I clear my throat. "So do you care that Kevin doesn't want us together?" The ride attendant opens up the gates for us and Nick and I walk to the back cart.

"It's not that I don't care… of course I care." He helps me sit down on the inside part of the cart and he sits next to me. We both buckle our seatbelts. "It's just that…. I really like you. And I can't just act like I don't like you because Kevin doesn't want me to. Get it?"

"I get it." I nod. "It's getting kind of late… what time do you have to be home?" I look around at the pitch black night sky. I'm a little tired too. But I honestly don't want this day to end. It's perfect.

"This will probably be our last ride. It is getting a little late…" He holds my hand yet again as the rollercoaster starts clinking up a big hill. It's not a very extravagant rollercoaster, but I didn't expect much from a little carnival coaster. For a moment, we stop there at the top of the hill, suspended. Nick looks over at me, smile spread all across his face. I can't help but smile too. And in the next split second, we're free-falling down the hill. It's actually very fun.

"You alright?!" Nick shouts at me over the loud sound of the rushing wind and the screaming of the passengers around us. I can't stop laughing, I'm having so much fun.

"I'm fine!" I look all around. The ride is almost over, but that's the most fun I've had in a really long time. I really don't want this day to end. Unfortunately, the coaster slows down to a stop. It was honestly a waste of three dollars, but it was really fun.

Nick is still laughing hysterically as we both get out of our cart. "Are you ready to go home?" He holds my hand almost as if it's a reaction and walks me over to the exit with him. I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts. I think I'm laughing because I'm happy. And I haven't been able to say that I'm happy in a really long time.

"Yeah, I'm ready." I slow my obnoxious laughing down enough to walk straight through the exit gate. Nick follows me and guides me with a firm hand on my waist back to the car. God, I don't want to leave. But I'm so tired.

We get back to the red Camaro and get in. I'm so sleepy. But I had the time of my life tonight with Nick.

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

"No, I'm waiting up for my brother and his little girlfriend so I can lock up the house. My mom asked me to wait up for them. They were supposed to be home a half hour ago, and still nothing." I pull my phone away from my sweaty ear and switch sides. Boy, she can talk for hours and hours. I think we've been on the phone for two hours now.

"I miss you though, babe. Can't you just sneak out for an hour or two? Or sneak me in?" She begs, her voice pleading with me sexily. It has been a while since I've seen her. By a while I mean I haven't seen her since yesterday. That's a while to us, though.

"No, baby. My mom would kill me. We gotta get up early for church tomorrow. You know that… I'll come see you tomorrow, I promise." I plop down on the couch and continue to wait for Nick and Demi to walk through the door. They're starting to get on my nerves.

"But babe… come on. Just for a few hours tonight… we can do that little thing that you like to do…" She changes her tone from begging to seductive. I know what thing she's talking about, and damn it sounds tempting. My mom would kill me if she found out Camilla came over after hours. Especially when we have church tomorrow morning. But the thing she does to me sounds too good to pass up right now. "Mmmm… okay. You can come over. Just for a few hours though. My mom will kill me, you know. But for a few hours… sure."

"I'll be over in fifteen minutes. I just have to take a few of my clothes off…" I close my eyes and lay back on the couch. Damn. I can't wait for her to get over here. Literally, I can't wait. Good thing she'll be here in fifteen minutes, because I'm anxious as fuck. I hang up my phone and put it on my chest. Nick and Demi need to hurry the fuck up already. I don't want no interruptions when Camilla gets here. I need about an hour and a half to satisfy the enormous bulge in my pants right now.

Almost as if it's the answer to my prayers, both Nick and Demi walk through the front door, laughing and being loud and obnoxious as hell. I get up off the couch and don't bother to turn on any lights. "You two are late. Get your asses to bed. Don't lock the door. I'm having company." With the little bit of light coming from the dim hallway lamp, I can see that Demi's face looks a bit upset. I don't think Nick did anything to her, because she looks fine and she was just laughing. I think I might of offended her or scared her a bit when I said to get her ass to bed. Oops.

"…Night, Joe." She says softly and walks up the steps rather fast, not giving me time to tell her goodnight too. She'll be alright. I'll ask her tomorrow how her date went and I'll apologize tomorrow too. I sit down on the couch and wait for Camilla to come.

I don't know if I can make it up to my room in time. I might just do it in the living room. If we're quiet, nobody will even notice that we're down here. Yeah. We'll do it in the living room. On the floor though, because the couches are dark and anything white would show up perfectly on them. I grab a couple of the throw pillows and put them on the floor. I put a couple blankets on the floor too. Has it been fifteen minutes yet?

I take my shirt off to save time when the time comes. I take off my pajama pants too and shut off the hallway light. That way, if someone actually does come downstairs, it'd be too dark for them to actually see us doing anything. We just have to be quiet. I think the whole "being quiet" thing is gonna be a challenge though, because Camilla's a screamer and I usually have her screaming so loud that we have to do it while we're completely alone in the house. I'll tell her to keep it down tonight though.

Just as I'm getting too anxious to wait anymore, she knocks quietly on the front door. I nearly run to open the door. "Hey babe." I don't wait for her to walk through the door before I start kissing her neck. I don't have time for foreplay tonight. Good thing she doesn't really like foreplay that much anyway.

"Mmmm… hi baby." She puts her hands on the back of my neck and wraps her legs around my waist. I slide my hands down her short shorts and feel that she doesn't have underwear on. Easy access for me. I carry her to the makeshift bed I made on the floor of my living room and lie her down. She pulls me down on top of her and kisses my lips hungrily. I anxiously yank her pants from around her waist and open her legs wide. I hold myself and position myself. She moans a little loud when I put it in. Usually, I put a bag on it, just for double protection. But she got that mirena thing that goes in there for birth control, so we're good if we have any heat of the moment things like now.

She opens her legs up wider so I can go in deeper and I hold her one leg up and destroy her. I think she knows that we can't be as loud as we usually are, because she's moaning into one of the pillows instead of aloud. She's so wet that I'm making sounds while I slide in and out. I grunt myself, I can't even understand how she's controlling her own moans. It must be good when I grunt.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

"…Yeah, I'm doing okay. I just called to let you know that I'm fine. Yeah… I'm doing okay. I still have to keep the calls short…" I whisper into the phone receiver. I want to tell her about my date so bad. But I can't talk for more than a minute and a half. I just want to sit on the phone for hours and catch up with her. Like what's going on in Texas? Who misses me? I have to tell her about my time here so far. This isn't fair.

"Where are you staying at? Are you still staying with your doctor's family?"

"Yeah. I'm safe. They're taking good care of me. Don't let mom worry…tell her that I'll call her later on this week or something.. okay? Tell her I love her." I just want to talk to my sister so bad. I just want to catch up with her. I love her…

"Alright. Stay safe, baby. It's late. Get some sleep. I love you. Me and mom have been saving up to come get you… we haven't forgot."

"I know you guys haven't forgot about me. I love you guys too… I gotta go…. I love you, Dal." Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I'm safe, and that's all that matters. They're safe too. We'll be together whenever it's possible… we will.

"Okay. Love you. Bye baby."

I slowly take the phone away from my ear and hang it back on the hook beside my bed. It gets tougher to say goodbye every time I talk to her. But I refuse to be sad. I had the most amazing day, and nothing is gonna ruin it. I had a great day.

I don't know why I can be so tired, yet it's so hard for me to fall asleep at night. I'm exhausted and ready to fall asleep. Talking to Dallas just kept me up for a brief moment. I toss and turn, thinking about today. It was definitely the best day I've had in a very long time. Why can't I fall asleep? I'm exhausted.

My favorite part about today wasn't the rollercoaster, or the way Nick bought me anything I wanted. It wasn't the time when he won a little stuffed monkey for me. It was the ending of tonight that made it perfect. How when he kissed me, he didn't even force his tongue down my throat. It was simple, yet meaningful. How a first kiss should be. And after he kissed me, he stared at me for a moment. And he smiled at me. And called me beautiful. That was my favorite part of tonight.

I yawn loud and turn over on my side in hopes of getting to sleep. I'm so tired… oh my god. Why can't I fucking fall asleep? Maybe some water would help me sleep…

I roll over and step out of the high bed. I open up the door of the guest room and approach the steps to go downstairs. There's a light on downstairs. Is someone down here? I rub my eyes. Everything that's far away is fuzzy to me right now. I thought it was just a phase, but no. I really need my glasses. But I lost them in the third month of walking. I'm not too blind. I've been doing okay without them. Some things are just a little blurry if I don't squint to see them.

I walk into the living room. I squint slightly and grab a cup from the top cupboard. I hold my cup under the dispenser and push a button on the outside of the fridge that dispenses the water to me. I fill my cup up halfway and turn around. I'm not sure why the light is on down here. I walk back towards the way I came from and I run into Joe. He's in a bad mood, I think. He was mean to me and Nick earlier, but hopefully he let that go. It was a good two hours ago. He's probably not in a bad mood anymore.

"Why aren't you sleeping?" He puts his hand on my shoulder and stops me from walking. "Are you an insomniac or something?"

I shrug and look up at him. He's close enough to the point where I don't have to squint. "I don't know… I just can't sleep." He's all sweaty and his hair is a little messy. He's shirtless, wearing only his boxers. He said he was having company. Did he… I look down at his dark red boxers. There's a wet spot around the hole where his stuff comes out. Yeah. He did.

"You're gonna have to go to sleep soon. It's one in the morning and we have church in the morning."

"…I'll fall asleep eventually." I'm a little disgusted by him. Does he even have a girlfriend to be doing that with? That's so gross.

"…Do you need me to hold you again?"

I don't want him to hold me after he just did that. But the sad truth is that I probably won't sleep unless he does hold me. Maybe I should ask Nick to hold me instead. "…Will you?"

"Yeah. Let me just take a shower and stuff first. I'll be right up." He walks past me and into the downstairs bathroom. Well at least he has the decency to shower before he lies in the same bed as me again. I'm still a little disgusted. I don't even think he has a girlfriend. I take my cup of water and go back upstairs. I should probably ask Nick to hold me while I sleep instead of Joe, but it just feels more right if I have Joe do it. It's nothing personal. I just feel safer with Joe holding me.

I leave the door to the guest room open and I lie back down in the bed. I take a sip of my water and wait in total darkness. I don't like Joe the same way I like Nick. Joe's just really a best friend. That's all he is. So when we sleep together, it means something totally different than what it would mean if me and Nick did it. It's just two totally different things to me.

Part of me wonders what Joe's like in bed. He's an older man, so he probably does it real good. I wonder how big he is, and how deep he goes. I wonder if he likes it slower or if he's more of the rough kind. Does he like the ass-slapping and the back scratching thing? Or is he more of the soft, slow sensual kind? How long does it take for him to make a girl orgasm? How long does it take for him to?

Oh my god, STOP. Why am I lying here, fantasizing about him?! What AM I doing? Oh my god. I take my right hand and slip it past my belly ring and down into my underwear. I'm embarrassingly wet. Why did I just have a fantasy about him… I don't even like him. I should be fantasizing about Nick. I'm not wet enough to have serious sex with anyone right now. I'm just wet enough to know that I'm turned on by the thought of him.

Interrupting my thoughts, he's there in the flesh. Standing in the doorway, shutting the door to the room. He's not sweaty. His hair isn't wet anymore, it's just a little damp. He's wearing a loose t-shirt and a new pair of boxers. "We can't turn this into an every night occurrence." He pulls the covers back on his side and climbs in bed next to me again. "You gotta learn to sleep alone." He maneuvers himself in a way that's close to me.

"I know." I scoot over closer to him too and lie on his chest again. He smells amazing. I nestle my head into the crook of his neck and wrap my arms around him, getting comfortable. I feel differently tonight than I did last night. I'm enjoying this way more tonight than last night.

"Demi…" He says, his voice slightly strained. He puts his arms around me too but he moves me away from him slightly. I guess I was too close to him. "I have a girlfriend, okay? I just don't want you to get the wrong idea from this."

"You do?" I open my eyes up and look at him. He actually does have a girlfriend. What?

"Yeah. I do. That's who I was with tonight. So you know we're just friends right, hun?"

"Totally." I close my eyes again and get more comfortable on him. I'm so tired that I'm delirious right now. I just fantasized about having sex with him, now I'm imagining what it would be like to be his girlfriend. If I was his girlfriend, I would lay on him like this.

"How was your date?" He whispers to me.

"It was amazing." I say slowly. I'm falling asleep. Why couldn't I fall asleep alone? It's something about him.

"Did you kiss?" He rests his chin on the top of my head and rubs my back.

"Mhm…" I nod slowly. "Would your girlfriend get mad if she knew that you hold me while I sleep?" I'm clearly on my way to sleep. It's so hard for me to stay awake. My eyes are so heavy. I run my hand along his hard abs.

"She might." He rubs my back some more. "What was you and Nick's first kiss like?" His breath blows down on me as he talks. It smells like mints. "What was it like?"

"…Like this…" I lift my head up slowly and lean down. I press my lips to his, and he doesn't even resist me. He reaches his hand up and touches my cheek. Me and Nick's first kiss was like this, but it wasn't this perfect.

"…Go to sleep, Demi." He forcibly puts my head back down on his chest.

"…I'm sorry." I whisper. "Are you mad? I'm so sorry…" What am I doing? I'm just way too tired right now. What the fuck is wrong with me? I'm not a homewrecker. He has a fucking girlfriend. Come on, Demi. What's wrong with you.

"I'm not mad at you. You're tired… you need to sleep. We'll talk about this in the morning." He rubs my back some more. He rests his chin on my head. I want to talk about it now, but I can't. I'm way too tired. It's time for me to go to sleep.

I'm just glad that he's not mad at me.


	11. The Truth

**Demi's Point of View.**

"**Here you go, sweetheart. I'm sorry." An elderly woman caresses my back as she hands me a glass platter wrapped in shiny silver foil. The woman is wearing a frilly black dress with black heels. She looks like she's the wife of the grim reaper. Why does everyone wear black to these things? I grab the plate out of the woman's old, liver-spotted hands and give her a forced smile. I'll go put it in the kitchen with the rest of the plates.**

**I shrug the woman's hand off my back and turn around to go into the kitchen. I have to squeeze and slither my way through the crowds of people in the house in order to get to my kitchen. I wish they would all leave. Not even my mom wants them here, but she puts on a brave smile and accepts everything with the fakest reaction. I squeeze past a step-aunt or a step-uncle I've never met and finally get into the kitchen. The counters and island are already packed to maximum capacity, so I just shove the plate in a small crevice. The food all looks very good, but I'm just not hungry. Nobody is hungry around here.**

**I wonder where Dallas and Maddie are. I'm going to kill Dallas for leaving me down here to face these people myself. I don't know who these people are just as much as she doesn't know. She should come be here to receive endless plates of food with me. I weasel my way through the crowds again and find the spiral staircase that leads upstairs to the second floor. I walk aimlessly up the steps and go straight for Dallas's room. I turn the knob to the lime green door and walk inside. Her bed is empty but still unmade from when she got out of it this morning. Her curling iron is still plugged in, lying on the floor without much purpose. Her laptop screen still remains on Facebook, her TV playing reruns of Futurama. Her walls look barer than usual, the only posters hanging up are that of Tony Romo, Gavin DeGraw, Lil Wayne and Safetysuit. Her corkboard is missing.**

"**Dallas?" I walk further in her room, heading for the door that leads into her bathroom. I open that door and walk in. She's not in her bathroom either. I sigh and regress from her bedroom. Maybe she left out for more tissues or something. I'm not going back downstairs by myself, and I don't want to go to my bedroom either. I want to be close to him. **

**Slowly, I walk down the hallway and into my parents' room. It's dark in here, due to the fact that it's rainy outside and they have black curtains to match their black and gold bedspread. The bed is big, messy. His side remains untouched from the last time he got out of it. I'd like to lay in it, but my mom wouldn't appreciate that. I look around. He used to pick me up and slam me into the bed whenever we were play fighting. I'm gonna miss that. Walking slowly again, I go over to their walk-in closet. I immediately go to the left side, because his clothes are still hanging up on the left side. I look around in the closet some more with tears running down my chubby cheeks. I can't believe he's really gone. **

**I look down at his shoes on the ground. The shoes that were always much too big for my tiny size seven, but I tried to wear his hunting boots on more than one occasion anyway. Sticking out at the end is a pair of black heels. They're probably my mom's. They don't belong on this side. I bend down and grab the heels, surprised to find that there's a body inside them. Whoever's wearing the heels pulls their feet back and sniffs. I pull the clothes to the side and look down. There she is. And there Maddie is too. I smooth down my black dress and sit down beside Dallas. Maddie continues to lie on her chest, not budging as if I didn't just join them. I scoot close to Dallas and lie my head on her shoulder. She collapses her head against mine too. **

"…**It smells like him in here." I whisper. **

"…**We know." Dallas whispers back and kisses my head.**

"Hey… Hey." His voice echoes in my ear, which is a direct implication that I'm still lying on his chest. "Gotta wake up…" He says softer this time. I open up my eyes, surprised at how well I slept yet again with him holding me. His arms are around my torso, holding me tight. My head is glued to his chest. I yawn and lift my head up a little. The room is bright, indicating that it's well in the morning. Why is he waking me up? Yesterday, we both slept until we were good and ready to get out of bed.

"Good morning." He says again, loosening his grip around my waist and shooting me a dazzling grin. "You were really fidgety last night. Did you have a nightmare?" He asks while I lift myself up off his chest. He brings his right hand up and sweeps hair away from my face, smiling at me. I blink my heavy eyes twice and shake my head. "You didn't have a nightmare?" He takes both his hands and knots them through my hair. I want to kiss him so badly.

"No, I didn't." I really hope that I don't have morning breath, because we're almost nose to nose. I scoot myself over in the bed and realize that my legs are intertwined inside of his. My pelvis is directly aligned with his, and it almost seems as if we just finished having sex. I rub my eyes. "I slept well…" I really don't want to get out of this position. Part of me wishes that I was lying like this in bed with Nick. But the bigger half of me is content and quite satisfied with the fact that it's Joe holding me like this. I remember my fantasy I had last night. His girlfriend is a lucky lady.

"…Who's Dallas?" He just blurts out without hesitation. How does he know about Dallas? Was he listening to me talking to her last night? HOW does he know about Dallas? I can't disguise the confusion and panic that's written across my face. I'm such an open book. "…Sorry. You just… you said that name a few times in your sleep last night. Is that… your boyfriend or something? Or is that not a name at all?"

I never talk in my sleep. Did I really talk about her while I was asleep last night? "…She's my sister." I leave it at that, and what makes me like Joe as a person even more is the fact that he leaves it at that too. He doesn't ask any more questions. Thank god he doesn't, because I don't feel comfortable with telling him about her all like that.

"…We should get up before someone comes and gets us up. You ever been to church?" He lets me completely go and untangles our legs. I sit up and lean back against the headboard. He leans back with me.

"Yeah, I've been to church." I nod and sigh. He looks over at me and sighs. "What are you sighing for?"I ask him, playfully but in a smart manner. I look over at him too and crack a smile. I think I'm falling for him… and I really don't want to. He has a girlfriend. I can't do this. More importantly, I kissed and went on a date with his brother last night. That would make me a super-slut if I even tried anything with Joe, wouldn't it? I think it'd be best if I stayed away from Joe. I gotta stay away from him. I gotta.

"I'm happy. It was a happy sigh." He scoots over towards me again and puts his arm around me. He sure isn't acting like he has a girlfriend. Why is he doing this? I freeze up and lock my body. He has to get off me. I'm not a homewrecker, and I really don't want to be arguing with his girlfriend. Please get off…

"Joe… get off me." I push his hands away and sigh. I'm gonna go see Nick. I need to see Nick. I need my mind off Joe. Just friends… this is more than friendly actions. This is way more than friendly.

"Why?" He lets me go and sits up straight. "I'm sorry."

"You have a girlfriend."

"I know that, Demi. I'm just trying to be your friend… it's nothing more than that. _You _kissed _me_ last night, remember?"

"…You're not thinking of me like that?"

"Of course I'm not! You're seventeen…" He sounds offended, but I'm relieved. I thought he liked me for a moment here. I'm so relieved to find out that he doesn't. I can be with Nick now. Turns out that Joe doesn't like me.

"Oh… okay." I blow out a sigh of relief. I was beginning to get nervous.

"…Are YOU thinking of me like that?"

I don't like to lie to anybody. I really don't like to lie. It makes me feel guilty. But I should lie to Joe about this one. I can't tell him that I fantasized about him last night. I can't tell him that for a minute there, I found myself falling for him. "…Once. Last night. But it was only for like… two minutes." I shake my head and try to play it off like it's nothing.

"…You did?" He shakes his head and looks down. "Why? Because I did my girlfriend last night? Is that what made you think of me like that? You're such a little girl, Demi." He mocks me. I can tell that he doesn't mean anything by it, but it still kind of hurts to hear him mock me for thinking about him in a sexual way. "You're so cute, Demi. You and your little crush on me."

"…Don't flatter yourself." When I'm angry or irritated, no telling what will come out of my mouth. "I was just wondering if you had a big dick. But judging by what I felt when you were holding me, I can tell that you have a pencil dick." I shrug and look away from him. He made me mad.

"Woah, why are you so mad?" He gets defensive and angry too. "You're a little girl, and you don't know what you're doing, Demi. I can't get my head all wrapped up in a little girl that has a crush on me. You throw yourself all over me last night then get mad whenever I call it like it is?"

"YOU'RE LIKE… CUDDLING WITH ME. AND HOLDING ME AND SMILING AT ME AND STUFF… what am I supposed to think? And I'm NOT a little girl. Stop calling me that. I'm more mature than you think, and I DON'T have a crush on you."

"I'll tell you like I told Kevin." He sighs and takes a breath as if he's about to go on a rant. "One of these days, someone is gonna get your cherry. And it's NOT gonna be me. You're taking this the wrong way, little girl. And if you're taking this the wrong way, then fine. I won't be sleeping with you anymore. I'd never do anything with you, Demi. I'd feel like a pedophile."

Oooh, I could really hurt him right now. I have really bad anger problems. That's what got me into the predicament I'm in right now. I need to calm down before I really… really hurt him. "…Is THAT was this is all about? You think that I'm a silly little virgin that you don't want to… to FUCK?" Watch your language, I remind myself. "I'm NOT a little girl, Joe. I'm almost eighteen years old. I'm only three years younger than you, and I'm NOT a virgin. I…I think we misinterpreted each other. I'm sorry, but that's not what I want from you. And I respect the fact that you have a girlfriend. You just.. confused me. And that's the truth. I'm being truthful with you." I'm calming down. I'm not so angry anymore, but my blood is still at a slight boil.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs. "…Ugh." He takes a deep breath and gets up from the bed. he pulls the covers back in an attempt to make the bed. "…You want the truth? The truth from me?" He asks, his voice hard and harsh. I think he's about to piss me off again.

"Tell me." I shrug sarcastically.

"…Yes. I have. Last night in my dreams, I dreamt about you. But I don't want you. I plan on proposing to my girlfriend next week. I don't like you in that way, but I thought the kiss last night was incredible. The ONLY reason I dreamt about you was because I was HOLDING you. If I was holding Camilla, I would've dreamt about her. That's just how it is. I think you're a cute girl, but let's be serious. We would never work together. Stick with my brother. He'll make you happy." He walks over to the door and leaves the room. Well, that's that I guess.

I sigh and look down. I wonder if Nick wants to go back to the carnival tonight. I need to take my mind off things with Joe.


	12. Round Two

**Demi's Point of View.**

After arguing with Joe, I realize that I really don't feel good. My stomach is still killing me and I've got this headache that could seriously prevent me from getting out of bed. I think I just want to lie down and go to sleep, even though I just woke up. I'm not sure what the matter with me is, though I am certain that I'm probably actually very sick, and I should stop kissing boys because it could be contagious. How long could this church thing last? Church only lasts an hour or so, right? I could go with them and be back home to lie down in an hour. I can last an hour.

I maneuver myself out of bed and walk over to the drawer where I put all my new clothes. I've been to church once or twice in my life, so I know that I'm supposed to dress nicely. My stomach hurts so badly. It's just throbbing, and it gets tight every so often. I feel okay enough to go to church with them though. I'll be okay. I wonder how nice I have to dress. I should ask someone. I'll ask Danielle what she's wearing. I open the door to my bedroom and walk into the hallway. It seems like everyone is downstairs eating breakfast. I'm not going to eat a thing. I take the steps slowly, one by one. My stomach feels like something is swimming inside it. I'm so nauseous.

"Good morning, Demi. Grab a plate and take a seat." Mrs. Jonas says cheerfully, grabbing a cup to pour me a glass of orange juice. Everyone is dressed in their best, all four boys wearing clean blue jeans with a nice crease in them. Danielle's wearing a brown pencil skirt, and Mrs. Jonas going all out with a nice blue dress. Mr. Jonas is still dressed in his pajamas. I prop my elbow up on the counter and hold my head. I forgot what I came down here for. "Aren't you hungry, honey?" She sits the tall glass of orange juice beside me.

"No, ma'am." I shake my head lightly. My head is hurting so horribly that I can hear my heart beating in my ears. My legs are wobbly and my stomach ties itself in knots again. Oh my goodness. I feel a bead of sweat drip down my forehead and onto my arm. The sweat makes the wild hair that grows on my arms smooth down. "I just… need to know what to wear for church…"

"Demi, are you alright? You're a little pale, honey. Are you feeling faint?" She puts the back of her palm against my sweaty forehead and concern washes over her face. She moves her hand from my forehead to my cheek. "You're a little warm. Do you feel okay?"

I just shake my head at her, and just like that, without warning, my stomach decides to empty itself. I throw up, all over the floor. Luckily for myself and her, I don't throw up on Denise. But it's everywhere. All over the hardwood kitchen floors in chunks of red and yellow. And it smells bad. And I'm embarrassed. Just as quick as it came up, I clamp my hand hard across my mouth. I'm not done. More's gonna come up. My shoulders hunch and my stomach squeezes itself. I choke it back, though. "Oh god… I'm SO sorry…" I apologize, wiping the profuse sweat that's dripping off me. I feel like crawling inside of myself and hiding. How embarrassing.

"No, sweetie it's alright." Mrs. Jonas rubs her hand across my back, and my t-shirt sticks to me. I'm sweating so badly. Kevin pushes out his chair from the table and rushes over to me. "Kevin, grab the thermometer out of the bathroom for me. And take my heels back into the shoe closet. I'm going to stay back from church with Demi."

"Mom, no. I got it. I'll stay with her. She needs me. You go on to church. Me and Dani will stay back with her. I might decide to take her up to the hospital." Kevin grabs me by my hips and hoists me in the air like I'm a burlap sack to him. "You on to church." Kevin takes me into the living room and lies me down on the couch. "Dani, will you come in here and sit with Demi? I'm gonna help my mom clean this up."

I feel horribly. Not just physically, but emotionally too. They're cleaning up my puke. I feel bad. I should clean up my own puke. I'm so sorry. On the couch next to me, Danielle sits down. She's very gentle when she touches me. "You look a mess." She says bluntly, not even attempting to sugar coat. She pulls the sticky hair away from my face and rubs my back some more.

"I feel a mess." I admit. "I just wanna go to sleep for a few more hours, okay? Tell Kevin he can… take me to the hospital… do whatever he wants with me whenever I wake up. I'm so tired…" I mumble. I'm crying, my stomach hurts so bad. I just want to lie down for a little while. I don't want to take medicine or anything. I just want to lie down.

"Yeah, let me just go get him, okay?" She stands up and walks away. I've finally stopped sweating, so that's a plus. I gotta get back to my bed. I sit up on the couch and close my eyes. The room feels like it's spinning, oh god. I hear footsteps come closer to me. I'm guessing it's Kevin. I open my eyes and look up at who it is. I was right. It is Kevin.

"Dani told me that you want to rest. That's fine, but I'm gonna have you lie down in the sitting room, okay? I want you to stay downstairs where there are hardwood floors, so if you have another accident it'll be easy cleanup. Alright? So come on…" He grabs my hand and helps me up off the couch. I have to keep my eyes closed or I WILL throw up again. He leads me across the hallway and into the sitting room. "Here… just rest here." He sits me down. I keep my eyes closed and limply fall back against the couch. This is undoubtedly the most comfortable couch I've ever been on. It's so big and sinky. I feel like I'm lying on a cloud. Or maybe I'm just really sleepy.

Kevin grabs my pants and takes them off so that I'm only in my underwear. "I don't want you to sweat." He explains. I don't care what he does to me right now. I just want to lie down. He grabs the rim of my shirt and pulls it over my head so that I'm only in my sports bra. He lets me lay back on the couch and he pulls a thick blanket over me. The blanket is incredible too. I settle in to fall asleep, but I'm not surprised that I can't. I feel like if I lie here long enough, I will fall asleep. But I want to sleep now.

Kevin leaves me alone in the sitting room. He pulls the sliding double doors shut and it's so silent in here, and I'm alone. There's no light in here. It's pretty dark in here, but I just CAN'T sleep. My stomach is still jumping. I can't sleep…

"We need to be out of here in an hour, boys. ONE HOUR." I hear Mrs. Jonas yelling through the walls. I try to block her out and fall asleep. But I just can't. I can't. No matter how hard I try, I can't. I yawn loudly and sniff. My head is still throbbing and my stomach is a mess. I feel like I'm going to puke, but all I want to do is sleep.

The sliding double doors open up and I hear someone walk in. I pop one eye open. It's Nick. He has the pink stuff in his hand and a slight smile across his face. I don't say anything to him. He walks over to me and sits down at the far end of the couch. "…Hey." He rubs my back. "I brought you some medicine." He leans forward and puts the pink stuff to my lips. I suck it up through my lips until it's all gone. I forget what this is called, but my mom used to give it to me all the time. "If you're feeling okay a little later, you wanna go catch a movie?"

"Sure." I mutter. I just really need him to leave me alone at the moment. I'm glad he brought me medicine, but I just need to be left alone. Please leave.

"You're sweating." He comments and grabs the bottom of the thick blanket. "Why did Kevin put this big ass blanket –" He yanks the blanket off me, and I'm ready to just kill him. But I have to remind myself that he's only being nice. Damn. It's not even our second date and he's already seen me in my bra and underwear.

"Nick, STOP IT…" I grab the blanket and cover my half-naked body up with it. His eyes are very, very apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Demi. I didn't know you were… you know." He takes it upon himself to tuck me back in. "I'm real sorry, babe." He leans down and kisses my temple. "I'm gonna go finish getting ready for church. I'll let you rest. Take it easy, okay?" He gives me a kiss on my forehead too. He's really sweet. Really sweet. He leaves me alone, shutting the doors again. I close my eyes. I'm getting closer to falling asleep. But I'm not quite there.

I sigh and turn my head. All I want to do is sleep… that's all. I'm not asking for much. Just sleep. I just want to go to sleep…I need him. More than I want to say it, I need him. The sliding doors open up yet again. It's him this time. As if he read my thoughts, he walks through the doors. With a can of ginger ale in his hand. He comes in.

"…Nick told me you weren't sleeping yet." He sits down on the far end of the couch and grabs my foot. "…Listen, Demi." He takes a deep breath and puts the can of ginger ale down on the coffee table. "I'm sorry about upstairs. I didn't mean anything that I said. About you being a little girl and stuff. I didn't mean nothing by it."

"…Why are you apologizing to me? I'm the one that kissed you…" I turn and look at him. Suddenly, my stomach doesn't hurt so much anymore. How can he just take it away from me? I don't feel horrible anymore.

"…Guess I just feel bad. Because you were so honest with me and I wasn't honest with you." He rubs my foot hard, but it feels good.

"You weren't honest with me? I thought you were…"

"Demi, I came in here to tell you something." He grabs the can of ginger ale and cracks it open, handing it to me when he's finished. I grab it off him and take a sip of it. What does he have to tell me? "That kiss last night? Is all I've been thinking about. And…I've been thinking about it because it wasn't the way it should've been. It wasn't the way I would've liked for it to have been."

"…It was just a kiss." I shrug. "Don't feel the need to apologize. It's not that big of a deal…"

"…I know… I know I have… Camilla. But I was wondering if you… would be so kind as to… let me do it over. I'd like to kiss you back this time."

I close my eyes. I should say no to this. But I don't want to. And what happens if I don't want to? I just don't. "…Sure." I nod. I'm gonna kiss Joe. He tilts his head just slightly to the right, and I tilt my head too, but to the left. We both lean in slightly, and I don't think about Nick. Our lips touch lightly. I close my eyes and he closes his too. He parts his lips and I part mine. He puts his hand on my cheek and we kiss. Not the innocent kiss, either. The spit-swapping and tongue-touching kind of kiss.

It's quick. He pulls away and so do I. It was perfect. I can't help but smile.

"…There. That's what I wanted it to be like." He takes his hands and puts them under me, pulling me against his chest so that I can lie down. "…Go to sleep, Demi." He rubs my back. I close my eyes and get comfortable. It's so easy for me to fall asleep when I'm in his arms. I don't know what it is…. It's him, I guess. "…You know what else Nick told me?"

"…Hmm?" I keep my eyes closed. My headache is coming back. I listen to his heartbeat and sigh. He smells really good. Like cologne and aftershave. His muscles are so tight. He's comfortable. He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel as if I could weather the most severe storm while I'm in his arms, and still be completely safe.

"…He told me you have a fine ass body. But I wouldn't know that… yet I'm still trying to figure out how he knows that…" His voice is smooth with playfulness in it. I'm too tired, but I still manage to crack a smile.

"…He pulled off my blanket and saw a little too much." I shrug like it's nothing and yawn.

"…Oh really? So is it safe for me to say that Nick's wrong?"

"You'll just… have to judge yourself…" I'm falling asleep.

"…I will. You just sleep."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes permanently. I'm so tired. And I fall asleep, yet again in Joe's arms.

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

After I get Demi to sleep, it's time to go to church. She's fast asleep on my chest. I almost hate to move. I smuggle myself from under her. Her long eyelashes rest on her cheeks and she breathes evenly. I don't know what it is about this seventeen year old girl. I don't know if it's her beautifully adorable face. Or if it's the way she has a cluster of freckles on her nose. Maybe it's the way her big brown eyes light up when she sees me. Whatever it is, she's got me in deep. And I wonder if it's too deep for my girlfriend to pull me out.

Easily, I put her down and let her lie down on the couch. I cover her body with the thick blanket and make sure her head is on the pillow. Kevin wasn't joking when he said we'd all fall in love with her. I press my lips to her cheek and leave her alone. I open up the double doors to go out to the car. My dad will kill all of us if we're late for church. I half wish that I could swap places with Kevin and stay home with her.

I shut the doors to the sitting room and turn around. Much to my surprise, Nick is standing dead in front of me. The look on his face says it all. He's pissed. Uh oh.

"What are you DOING in there with her?!" His face is red, seething angry. "You stay away from her, Joe. She's MINE."

"Nick, chill out! I just put her to sleep." I won't DARE tell him about the kiss. I won't tell him that. "She was having a bad time sleeping so I gave her some ginger ale. Chill out!"

"What do you mean you put her to sleep?! Don't touch her! I called… I…YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT HER. And you have Camilla! Joe…" He's shaking, he must really be mad at me.

"Nick…. I DON'T WANT DEMI. She's all yours, trust me. She's ALL yours. I don't want her." I'm not sure how many times I have to say that before he realizes that I'm slightly lying. He better not ever find out about the kiss. Or the fact that I think Demi favors me a little more than him. I sleep with her every night, all he has is dates.

"…Joe, I'm NOT kidding. You leave her alone. Or I'm telling Camilla. And you know Camilla..."

"THERE'S NOTHING TO TELL. Nothing is going on between me and Demi, you fool. She's a little kid."

"…If I catch you… if I…. I'm not playing. I better not. Ever again."

I just roll my eyes at him. I know that if I go after Demi, it's wrong. I know that I'd be screwing Nick over pretty bad in doing that. But I can't help the way I'm beginning to feel. I don't think it's gonna amount to anything between us, because I still do plan on proposing to Camilla. Plus, I'd never want to hurt Nick like that. But I really think that if it came down to it, Demi would choose me over Nick. But I won't make that happen. I'll cut it off with Demi, I will. I don't want to hurt Nick.

But I don't want to completely cut it off with Demi either. I like spending time with her. What am I doing?


	13. Ding Ding

**Demi's Point of View.**

"I'm not much of a cook, sorry. I won't force you to eat any of this, Kevin just asked me to feed you. We can order a pizza if you want, though." Danielle stands at the flat-top stove and flips something in a no-stick skillet. Kevin left not too long ago, because he got called in to work. The rest of the family is still at church, so it's just Danielle and me. Not to mention that I woke up less than ten minutes ago.

"Kevin asked you to feed me?" I mumble through a loud, much needed yawn. I collapse into the wooden chair and rest my head on the table. I feel much better, but my stomach is still a little on the border of being upset and tame. I'm a little hungry too, but I'm honestly afraid to eat. "Why does he act like I'm a puppy?"

Danielle chuckles a little and scrapes the grilled cheese sandwich onto a blue glass plate. "You don't know how many times we've told him to stop acting like you're his daughter. I hope to god he treats our baby the way he treats you." She puts the blue plate in front of me along with the matching bowl. The soup and grilled cheese doesn't look bad. It actually looks pretty tasty. "You don't have to eat it if you don't want to."

"No, it looks really good." I grab the still hot sandwich and rip a piece off with my fingers. I dunk the piece into the soup broth and eat it. It's very good. "You did good, Dani." I put my spoon into the bowl and slurp some soup from it. I'm glad it's chicken noodle, because that's the only kind of soup I eat.

Dani sits down across from me with her own plate and bowl. "Glad to know it's not completely horrible." She giggles with a bite of her sandwich. "So how long do you think you'll stay here?"

"…I'm not sure. At first I thought I'd only be here about a month… but now I just… I don't know." I spoon some more soup into my mouth. "I like it here. And I wasn't supposed to like it here… but I do." I'm so brutally honest with everyone, even when I don't want to be. It's almost like I'm George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. It's a curse, really. It's not a blessing. I just wish I could lie convincingly one time. Just once.

"…Why don't you want to like it here? We like you… it's okay to like us." Dani sprinkles some salt and pepper into her soup and stirs. I don't know what it is about her, but I feel comfortable in telling her just about anything. I get too comfortable with people too fast, if you ask me. "Do we come across as… unlikeable to you?"

"No, it's not that. It's not that at all. It's just…" I stare into the bowl of my soup. "I just have some things to worry about, and I don't want to drag anything or anybody into it that doesn't need to be in it. That's all. I just don't want anything to happen that could do anything to you guys." I sigh and finish off my sandwich.

"…You know, Demi. We don't know much about you. Or at least I don't. I don't know anything about you besides your name and your age and where you came from. You know about me, but I don't know about you…" She walks over to the sink and dumps the remainder of her soup into it. "I'm not forcing you to tell me anything you don't want to tell me. But getting to know you a little better would be nice." She picks up the dish scrubber and washes out her bowl.

I suppose she's right. They've all opened up their house to me, and I know a considerable amount of information about all of them, yet they don't know a thing about me. It's not right, the more I think about it. I grab my bowl and walk it over to the sink too. "Well, what do you wanna know?" If she's anything like Kevin, I'll be able to pick and choose the questions I would like to answer. I walk gracefully back to the chair I was sitting in and plop down.

"…Well for starters, are you in school? Did you graduate?" She cracks open a can of Mountain Dew and sits down. She slides a can of ginger ale over my way and crosses her hands as if she's waiting for me to speak.

"…No. I'm not in school. And no. I didn't graduate. I got pulled out my junior year. I went back my senior year but got pulled out again in like… the first semester." I take a quick sip of my ginger ale and lean back in my chair, waiting for her next question.

"You're not in school? But you're really… smart. You're a smart girl." She shakes her head and looks at me some more. "What about your mom? She's not worried about you being pulled out of school?"

"Well of course she is." I get a little defensive, but cool it down a little. "My mom worries about me like always. But…I didn't have a choice to be pulled out of school and neither did she. It was too risky." I'm talking too much. I need to stop talking before I say anything else about it.

"What was too risky, honey? What was it?"

"…I don't want to talk about it." I clear my throat. "What else do you want to know?" I change the subject quickly so that I don't seem rude to Dani. I just don't want to talk anymore.

"…Why aren't you in Texas anymore? Why did you feel the need to… run away?"

"…It's a really long story. I'm sorry, but I just really don't want to talk about it. Not right now…" Like a chicken, I back out of it. I just can't tell her. I can't tell anyone, no matter how much I probably need to. I don't want to hurt anyone. Not to mention, if I tell them the real reason I'm here, they'll probably kick me out and never let me come back. Perhaps I'm dangerous.

"Okay, Demi. You don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. I won't make you. But if you ever do feel up to talking about it… you know that you can always talk to me. Whenever you need to talk. I'll always listen." She reaches over and holds my hand. I want to take her up on the offer so bad.

"…Thanks Dani. I'm just… not ready. Maybe some other time…" I stand up and leave the table. She doesn't understand why I can't talk to her. I feel bad, because she should know. But I don't trust her enough to open all the way up. I do trust her, but not that much. I don't trust anyone enough for that.

I go back into the sitting room and lie down. I hope Danielle doesn't take offense to me leaving. I've already made up my mind. I'm going to tell her all about it someday. Just not today. Not like this. Not when I need a place to stay this badly. You know, if Dani really means everything she just said, about her being there whenever I need her, would she do me a huge favor? The least I can do is ask, right? And the worst she could say is no.

I'll have to ask her.

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

"I wanted to talk to you, babe. About something important. I know it's not supposed to be this way, but I don't want to mess it up." I sit down on Camilla's bed and turn my full attention to her. Her bed is comfy, I've been in it more than once before.

"Wait, before you talk about what you want to talk about, I have to know. Are you moving in with me? I have to tell my landlord by Thursday." She flips her long, chocolate brown hair and looks at me. Her skin is soft and tanned, her amazing complexion with beauty marks in all the right places. She crosses her legs, and I stare at her bare thighs. Her legs are amazing.

"I haven't asked about that yet, babe. It hasn't really been the right time to ask my parents about that. We've been real busy with the seventeen year old I told you about. I'll ask before Thursday though. I promise."

"Oh yeah. Speaking of the girl. How is she doing?" She stands up and searches for her bra. I should probably get up and put my clothes back on too. Part of me feels bad about going to church this morning then immediately after, coming here and having sex with my girlfriend. But the other part of me doesn't even care.

"She's good. She's… something else." And that's all I say about the matter. I can't talk about Demi too much around Camilla, because Camilla can read me like a book and she'll for sure know that if I say "I don't like Demi", that's only half true. It took a lot out of me to stop pretending that she was Demi while she was riding me earlier. But I firmly believe that I'll eventually stop thinking about Demi. Once Camilla is officially my fiancée.

"Your family is so kind to take her in." She pulls her underwear up to her waist and gives me a kiss on my lips. I kiss her back and put my own boxers back on.

"Yeah, so um… I know this isn't the way it's supposed to be, but I was just wondering what kind of ring you prefer? I basically already told you that I'm gonna propose to you, but I just need to know what kind of ring you want. I was thinking diamond, but Kevin told me that your birthstone would be a good idea too. So I was just wondering, babe." I ask her. I already have two rings picked out for her. One has her birthstone and the other is pure diamond. Both are the same price, but I favor the diamond one a little more. It's just prettier.

"I'll take a diamond, it's really no big deal." She smiles and wraps her arms around me as if she didn't see this coming. She should've saw it coming. I told her that I was gonna propose to her. I didn't tell her when, though. So maybe she is a little bit surprised.

"Diamond it is." I smile back and give her a kiss. "I have to head home though, babe. I told my mom I'd be home in time to help her with dinner." I'm telling her a tiny little lie. I didn't tell my mom I'd be home for dinner, but I did tell Demi I'd be home soon. I told Kevin to tell her that, so technically she knows. It's not too bad of a lie.

"Alright babe. I'll see you later. Love you." She smacks my butt and throws me my t-shirt. I slide my shoes on and throw my shirt on too.

"Love you too." I give her a soft kiss on her cheek and leave right out her front door. That's the beauty of my girlfriend having her own house, I guess. I can come over at any time and leave at any time too. And it's way better than being at my house because we can walk around naked, have sex, do whatever we want at our own will.

It sucks to leave Camilla, but it's not as hard as it used to be when I realize that I'm going home to Demi. I wonder what she's doing right now. She's definitely not still sleeping. It's way too late in the day for her to still be sleeping. She's probably sitting up. With Nick or something. And that's fine with me, if she is sitting up with Nick. It's no big deal to me. I'll let him have his moment with her. I'll be with her tonight.

I get into the driver's seat of my car and put the key in the ignition. I back completely out of Camilla's driveway and speed off down the road. I need to propose to Camilla soon. I can't keep thinking about Demi the way I am. I think she's amazing and entirely too sexy for me to keep resisting. What worries me the most is the thought that what if I can't just forget about Demi after I propose to Camilla. I know I've been "cheating" on Camilla, but I don't really count it as cheating because she's not anything to me other than my girlfriend. I don't really know though.

I need to get my mind together. My mind is so scattered between Camilla and Demi. Maybe I should just let Nick have her though. I do have a girlfriend.

* * *

**Nick's Point of View.**

"I was gonna see if you still wanted to catch that movie, but Kevin said he didn't want you to go outside until you're over your sickness. So I decided to bring the movie to us." I walk into the living room that Demi's sitting in with two bowls of popcorn and two cans of Iced Tea in my hands. I'm a little disappointed that I can't be truly alone with Demi tonight, but I'll make the most out of what I've got.

She looks up at me. Her long hair is tied back in a ponytail that's so long that it rests on her forearm. She's so pretty. There's no way I'm gonna let Joe just swoop in and take her. No way. I know it sounds silly to say that I "called" her, but I did. I just think it'd be awful grimy if Joe did that to me when he knows good and well how I feel about her. I really like her. I haven't liked a girl this much since eighth grade. "What movie are we gonna watch?" She asks.

I sit down next to her on the couch and hand her her own bowl of popcorn and her can of Iced Tea. "I have the new Nightmare on Elm Street movie. We can watch that…"

"…Okay." She pops a piece of popcorn in her mouth and smiles. Her smile kills me. Her teeth are so perfect and her dimples are so deep. She's so pretty. I'm absolutely mesmerized by her. She's breathtakingly gorgeous. "…So why did Joe tell me that you told him I have a nice body?" She eats another piece of popcorn and laughs slightly.

"…He told you that?" I laugh too and look at her in her eyes. I don't want her to think that's all I think of her. I think her body is nice, yes. But I also think her personality is amazing. She's just a hell of a woman. "…I did tell him that. But it's true." I smirk.

"Oh yeah? You got like one little glimpse." She rolls her eyes playfully and taps my arm.

"It was good enough." I shrug and laugh again. "…You used to seem so innocent. I think I was wrong about you." I shake my head. "You're not innocent at all."

She shrugs and pokes her lip out. "I guess I'm not innocent. But I'm not surprised you thought so. You and your brother have a bad habit of underestimating me." She rolls her eyes as if she's slightly annoyed. I didn't mean to annoy her.

"I'm sorry. But… you just seemed…" I have to ask her now. "Are you even a virgin?"

"Why is that the first thing you and Joe…" She starts off haughty, but she cools it down. "No. I'm not. And don't look at me with that condescending demeanor, because I know you're not either."

"…I'm not… I'm not condescending. Not at all. I think it's hot that you're not one." I shrug and try to make her feel comfortable. "I was just wondering… and now I know." I eat a piece of my popcorn. "I know that my brothers have told you about me. And I won't lie and say that none of it is true, because it is true. But I really like you. And it's not that way with you. I like you a lot, Demi."

"…I like you too. But I…" She stops herself. "I just really like you too."

Why do I have the feeling she was gonna say "I like you too but I like Joe more."

It's just a feeling.


	14. What Is Seen

**Demi's Point of View.**

"Rest up, kiddo. Tomorrow, I'm gonna take you to the ear doctor's. When I was looking in your ear earlier, it looked a tad bit infected. I want someone to check that out." Kevin pats me on my back before turning out my light. I'm tired as if I really did something today, besides lie around in the house. I don't really want to go to the ear doctor's. I should go see an eye doctor above all, because it's getting increasingly difficult to see something that's really close to me. My eyesight is just all around bad.

"Do you think we could go see another doctor?" I decide to address the fact that I'm not feeling comfortable down there either. I'm having all kinds of bodily issues that I could probably only tell Kevin or Danielle about. "Tomorrow, please?" It's kind of bothersome, whatever's going on down there. It's not painful or anything, and I can still pee. But it's just really… well… uncomfortable. I thought it would go away after I had my period, but it's been going on.

"Another doctor?" He flips the light switch back on. "Like what other doctor? You still having problems with your feet or something?" He re-closes the door to the room and sits down on the edge of my bed, pulling back the covers to expose my bare feet. They're almost completely healed, with a couple red marks here and there.

"No, not my feet. I just… um…" I stumble over how to word this. "I can't see if something's really close up. It gets all fuzzy and blurry." I chicken out. I'm such a coward sometimes. But if something's wrong with me, I need to tell him. He's the only one that knows where the right doctors are around here. But it's good that I brought my vision problem to his attention, I guess. I blow out a breath and sigh. "And I'm having a bit of a lady issue."

"Okay, wait a second here. You're having trouble seeing, first of all?" He holds out his hand as if he's sorting through my issues. I do have a lot of problems. I just nod slowly. "And you can't see when something's close up? Why didn't you tell me this before? I could've been had you checked." I look down at the quilt on my bed and just shrug. He rubs my back to let me know that "it's okay." "And you're having a girl problem? What kind of girl problem? Are you hurting down there?" I shake my head. "Demi, you're gonna have to speak up and tell me what's the matter. I can't read your mind. What's going on down there?"

"I um…." He HAS to understand how uncomfortable this makes me, discussing the happenings of my crotch with him. "Uh… it's just… a little… um…" I keep looking down at the quilt. I find that it's easier if I don't look at him. "It's a little… I don't know… i…itchy. And kind of… weird. It just doesn't feel good." I try to explain to my best ability. I don't know if he'll get the picture, because let's face it, he doesn't have one. This would be so much easier if your penis could itch the way I'm itching. I'm just going out on a limb here, but I'm gonna go ahead and say that penises don't itch and feel weird the way womanly parts do.

"Any discharge?" He says it lightly, with a grain of salt. As if this is something he hears every day. I know he's a doctor, but he's a pediatrician, not a gynecologist.

I cringe at the word he used. It makes it ten times more embarrassing. "…Um… kind of. A little bit."

"What color is it?" I just look at him like he just slapped my mother. Is he serious? Oh my goodness. I feel my mouth drop open and my eyes just squint a little, like I'm trying to see. "Seriously, Demi… what color is it?" I just keep looking at him like "what the fuck?" I finally close my mouth, but I still haven't blinked since he asked the first time. "Hello?! Earth to Demi! What color is it?!"

"…I don't know! I don't really look at it! What the hell…" I feel my cheeks flush bright red. I'm so embarrassed. Does he really need to know all that? Just take me to a goddamn doctor. "It's… white, I guess." I shudder saying that. Ew. I've had a vagina for nearly eighteen years, and it still grosses me out to think about what goes in it and more so what comes out.

"It's probably just a yeast infection. Haven't you had one of those before?" I can't help but look at him again. Is he STILL asking? Oh my god this is so awkward. "Demi! Hello?!"

"I'm sorry! What?"

"Haven't you had a yeast infection before? Girls get them all the time. I'll tell Dani to get you some over the counter stuff for it. It's no big deal. You had one before." He shakes his head, looking at me like I'M the weird one. He must've forgotten that he's the one asking ME about MY crotch.

"…Uh uh." I shake my head at him. I've never had this before. If I have had it before, I'd OBVIOUSLY know what it was. "…I've never had one of those before."

"It's common. It's not an STD or an STI. It's just an infection." He runs his hand through his curls like he's just been put through a lot. "How old were you when you got your period, Demi?"

"...Sixteen."

"…That late?"

I look down and nod. I was a late bloomer. "Yeah. The doctor said it was normal to start that late, though. I mean… I thought…. It… yeah. I was just late." I'm ready to go to bed. I don't want to talk about this anymore. "I'm tired. I wanna go to sleep now, Kevin."

He looks at me skeptically. He sees something that he shouldn't see in me. He sees something that I desperately need to hide. I don't want to talk. I want to sleep. He needs to leave. "…Why do you… Demi?" I ignore him and slide down in the bed, turning my back to him. I tune him out, but he won't let me ignore him. He won't let me. I put my thumb in my mouth and suck on it. My mom would kill me if she caught me sucking on my thumb. I only do it when I really need to though. "I just… notice things about you, Demi. And I think there's a reason you don't like to talk about yourself like that…"

I close my eyes tight and try to fall asleep, but I can't. Of course I can't fall asleep.

"I'll leave you alone now, Demi. Did you take your flu medicine?" He gets off the edge of the bed and rubs my back once more. I just nod once. Please just leave me alone now. Whatever he's thinking, he's wrong. He's wrong, and it's not his business. And he should leave me alone. Please. "Goodnight." He gives me a kiss on top of my head and shuts the light off again. I hear the door to my room close.

Why does he treat me like that? I'm not his daughter. He really does treat me like I am. One thing I know for sure is that he saw something in me tonight. Something that I've worked for almost two years to hide. It's not physical, it's nothing on my body. But Kevin saw it. And it scared him.

But he's wrong about me.

* * *

**Kevin's Point of View.**

I leave Demi's room with a very heavy heart and a new outlook on her. She's different than I thought she was. I think I found a piece of the puzzle. She'd never tell me if I was right. I know that much about her. I know that she's a bit stubborn and she's a very private person. But I think I know why she's so private. Scratch that. I KNOW why she's so private. I've met others like her. Other little girls that wonder into my emergency room that are afraid of speaking in the same way Demi's afraid of speaking. I can't bear the thought. But I have a piece of the puzzle. Part of the reason. The reason she's here.

I walk into me and Danielle's room, holding back a flood of tears that could fall at any moment. Anyone that knows me knows that it's a very rare occurrence for me to cry. But I need to cry right now. And aside from my mother, my wife is the only one who I will let see me cry in the way I'm about to. I shut the door to our room, take off my pajama pants and sit down on the bed next to Dani. She has her nose busily buried in "What To Expect When You're Expecting."

"Hey, baby. You ready to call it a night?" She puts the book down on her lap and looks over at me. Her face goes blank in one instant. "Kevin? Baby, you're white… like pale white. What's the matter?" She puts her hand on my cheek and looks at me, concern running deep.

"…I figured a piece of her out. And I'm horrified." I whisper. My voice only comes out in a whisper. It won't dare come out in anything above. I'm terrified.

"A piece of who? Demi? What's wrong with her?" She holds me against her chest, because she can tell that this is serious. I don't even know what to think right now. I can't begin to explain how I feel. I want to hug her. I want her so bad. I need her to know that she's okay here. She's okay. She's safe.

"Somebody hurt her, Dani." I mutter, finally letting a couple tears fall. Saying it aloud makes me realize how sure of it I am. I'm positive. There's no chance that I'm wrong about this. I'm certain. "Somebody hurt her bad."

"What do you mean? She's okay. Nobody hurt her. She's fine here. You wouldn't have allowed it. Nobody hurt her. She's alright." She's whispering sweet nothings in my ear just to make me feel better.

"…What if that's WHY she's here, Danielle? What if that's what she's running from?"

"…So you think her parents hit her? Don't make assumptions, baby. You should ask her instead of assuming."

"I don't have to ask her, Danielle. It was on her face tonight. I saw it on her face. She was… she was afraid of me. She tried to hide it, but she couldn't. I asked her a few questions, and I saw it. All over her face. In her eyes. You should've seen her eyes. Someone did something to her. Something horrible."

"…You mean… that kind of horrible?"

I nod. I sure of it. I replay her face in my mind a billion times. She was afraid of me. She didn't want to tell me anything about her. She didn't even want to think about what's between her legs. The look in her big brown eyes said it all to me. She's been hurt. She has.

"…Well no one's gonna hurt her like that while she's here. We won't allow it. She's okay here. She's safe now. All you can do is make her believe that. She trusts you, Kevin. I know she does. And if that did happen to her, she needs someone to trust." Danielle kisses my cheek and wipes my tears for me. I don't think she understands the fact that there is no "if it happened." It happened. I know it did. No telling how many times.

"…Dani?"

"Yes, baby?"

"…Can we keep her? Can we keep her?" I sniff and look at her, all seriousness in my face. "Me and you… we'll move out. Get our own place. And take her with us. Get her back into school..."

Danielle just looks at me like I just went half-cocked. "Kevin, she's not a baby. She's eighteen. Almost an adult. We can't adopt an eighteen year old."

"Who said anything about adoption? I just want her to stay with us. Where she's okay. Where she's safe."

"Kevin, she has PARENTS. People that LOVE and CARE about her."

"How good of parents could they have been to her if she's all the way here in New fucking Jersey, Danielle? They don't want her."

"Not fair of you to make that assumption. You could be so wrong about it, Kevin. You could be far off from the truth. For all you know, her parents could've been good to her. They could be looking for her right now for all we know. A kid like her, I wouldn't be surprised if the mother is heartbroken to have lost her."

I sigh, completely frustrated with her. She just doesn't understand. She'll never understand. She's right, but I'm right too. I know that something happened to Demi. I just have to find out EXACTLY what happened to her.

Danielle just doesn't understand how strongly I feel about this little girl. And if she doesn't understand, she probably never will.

But there's no way in hell I'm letting Demi leave us. She's staying right here. She's staying with us forever. I can't bear the thought of never seeing her again. Never knowing what happened to the little girl that really… REALLY touched my life. I just keep thinking about what she would've been if that old woman on the street wouldn't have brought her to me. She could be dead.

I need her to stay with me. It would fuck me up so bad if she left after a month, like she intends to. And if by chance Danielle is right, I'd like to meet her dumb ass parents. They have to be dumb to let a little girl like Demi go. She's amazing. Everything I hope my future daughters to be. I love her.

And I don't care if it's not biological.

She IS my daughter.

**Joe's Point of View.**

* * *

"We've got to stop this, you know." I whisper to her after sitting quiet for a few moments. She's been very quiet since I came in here. Kevin upset her, but she won't tell me why. I won't force her to let me know why or anything. I just respect the fact she wants me to hold her. She can't sleep without me. "Demi? You sleeping?"

"No." She takes a deep breath and squeezes me so tight that it causes a slight hiccup in my breathing. Her head is on my chest, her leg is stretched out on top of me and her arms are wrapped around my body. I could get used to this. As much as I try to deny it, the feelings are most definitely there. I kind of wonder what it is about her. One look and both me and Nick as well as Kevin fell in love. I don't know this girl from Adam, but the feelings I feel for her are already strong.

"We gotta stop this. You gotta learn how to sleep on your own…." I rest my head on top of hers. Her hair smells amazing, and it's silky. Camilla's hair isn't this silky. Her natural hair is kind of rough and it's curly.

"…Shut up." She mumbles into my chest. She sighs hard, like she's extremely pissed off. She lifts her head up and looks at me, her brown eyes slightly red around the rims and her nose flaring up around the nostrils. "Do you always act this dumb after you see your girlfriend? Or is it only after you fuck her?" She talks through clenched teeth. Why is she so mad?

"…I'm acting dumb? How?" I stare at her. I don't care if she's mad at me. She's so gorgeous.

"…The last two times you came to me after you been with her, you always say some shit about how you shouldn't hold me anymore. It's kind of annoying. I already know I'm a sideline without you repeating it 24/7. Did you fuck her today? Maybe it's just that you're feeling guilty. I'm only asking you to hold me. I'm not asking you to screw me." She bites onto her bottom lip. I can tell that she has a little bit of problems when it comes to her anger. But I think it's hot.

"…Why does it matter if I had sex today or not?" I trace my fingers across her lips, her soft lips. So kissable. I'm making myself sick. She's a little young for me, but this girl just oozes beauty and sex appeal to me. "I'm still here with you. I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't want to be."

"…Switch the positions." She's calmer now. "Imagine that I was the one you're about to propose to. And she was the one you sleep with every night." I think she's getting at the fact that there's an age difference. At least I think that's what she's alluding to. "I'm just saying. If you don't want to hold me every night, just say so. I could always stop toying with your brother…"

"…He called dibs on you. So I kind of have to back off, sorry." I clear my throat.

"…He WHAT? He called… WHAT? I'm not…" She shakes her head. "New subject." She rolls her eyes.

"Okay, new subject." I agree. "You never answered my question. Why do you care if I have sex or not?"

"…I just made an observation." She shrugs and yawns. "I told you I had a fantasy about you and you made me seem silly for it. Do you make her feel silly while you're banging? Or is that just a little something you save to embarrass me?"

"….What exactly is your question?"

"My question is… If she told you she had a fantasy about you, would you make fun of her for it like you did me?"

"…No. And I'm sorry for making fun of you." I wrap my arms around her waist. I had a fantasy about her too, so if I made her feel bad about it, she should make me feel bad about it too. It's only fair. "...I kinda had one about you today too."

"…WHAT?" She smiles like she just accomplished her mission. "Say it again. Say it." Her smile turns to a slight smirk. She doesn't have to make me feel bad about this. I take it back. It's not fair.

"…I had a fantasy about you earlier." I mumble with a smile too. I knew she wasn't just gonna let it go. I knew it.

"I'm a little girl, remember?" She laughs a little. "…So what was it like? Was it all romantic and passionate? Was I in your dreams?" She props herself up on her elbows and kicks her feet, amused by this.

"…I'm not telling you about it, Demi. It's for my mind only." Thinking about it brings a smile to my face. Just thinking about it.

"OH, COME ON! I told you about mine!"

"…It wasn't anything special. I just imagined if it were you instead of my girlfriend. When she was on top. No big deal."

She laughs in my face, and that's it. I can't help myself. I should be burned at the stake, but I can't help it. While she's mid-laugh, I lean in and kiss her. She stops laughing immediately and returns the favor. I definitely underestimated her. She sticks her tongue in my mouth and I accept it, massaging my tongue along hers. She's a hell of a kisser.

She's a hell of a girl.

Scratch that.

She's a hell of a woman.

I'm sorry, Nick.


	15. Admit

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"Do you think you can toughen out the vision problems until Wednesday? I put a rush on your glasses, but it'll still take two days." I hand Demi a straw and her bag of food. She doesn't eat much, I notice. I took her to Wendy's, and all she wanted was large fries and a small coke. She's been quiet since we left the doctor. I think she's just a little tired.

"…Did Danielle get me the other medicine?" She completely disregards my question and asks her own. I suppose it was a stupid question for me to ask. She's been dealing without proper glasses for a while now. I guess her lady problems are really bothering her, because she's not one to complain. The only time she complains is if something is really wrong with her. She takes one measly little French fry and stuffs it properly in her mouth, sweeping the invisible salt off the corners of her lips.

"No, I don't think she did. Why? Are you getting worse?" I take my eyes off the road for a second to look at her. She chews another fry slowly and swallows like her throat hurts. She's still a little bit sick; the flu bug isn't fully out of her system yet.

"No. I… I told your mom before we left for the eye doctors. And she gave me this stuff to put down there, because she already had some in her bathroom. And I feel better already. I just wanted you to tell Danielle that I don't really need anything else." She rolls down her window and lets her hair flow in the wind. I notice that her head bobs slowly, with the music playing on the radio. That makes me smile.

"…You like this song?" I tamper with the volume and turn it up so that the speakers blare with the bass of the song. It's a good thing we're in the countryside of Wyckoff, otherwise this song would probably get us frowned upon and potentially even shot if we played it going through the city with the hipsters. She smiles a nervous smile and nods slowly. "You do?" I chuckle. "What do you know about Faith Hill?"

"…My mom has all her CDs she loves Faith Hill." Demi smiles like she really means to smile. Her smile is big, her teeth aligned perfectly. She looks happy. "Every Sunday morning when we'd get up to clean, she'd play her Faith Hill CDs, and we'd all sing along. And it was good, because my mom… she was a country singer before she had her babies. And my sist…" She stops. I can tell that she thinks she's said too much.

"….Go on. I like hearing about your family. Your sister? She would do what?" I try to nudge her into continuing her story, because I honestly do like hearing about Demi and where she came from. She doesn't budge though. She does, however, open her mouth back up. And what comes out of her mouth is even more beautiful than the stories about her family.

"_It's…. the way you love me. It's a feelin' like this. It's centrifugal motion. It's perpetual bliiiisss. It's that pivotal moment. It's ahhhh subliminal. This kiss, this kiiiiiiissss. It's criminal. This kiss, this kissssss. It's… the waaaaay you loooove me baby… it's the way you love me darliiiiin'." _She seems to be having the best time of her life. It's a shame that we're almost home. I think I'll take a detour so that she can keep singing. I won't mind. Her voice is beautiful.

"…You like singing, don't you?" I ask her when the song's over. I hope another song that she knows comes on again. Because I want her to sing. I turn a corner that'll take us an extra ten minutes to get home. The radio station is on a quick commercial break. It's a country station, I hope she doesn't mind.

"I do." She admits. "I don't like to be a guinea pig, though. I like to sing on my own terms. I don't like to do it for show."

"…Well if another song comes on, will you sing it?"

"Depends on what it is." She shrugs. In that instant, almost as if the radio station hears our conversation, the next song comes on and it booms in series of guitars and pianos. My mom actually likes this song. Probably because she loves Sugarland. I glance at Demi. I can tell by the look on her face that she doesn't know this song. Or maybe she's just tired of singing. Of course, though.

She has to prove me wrong.

"…_.They say… in this town… the stars stay up all night. Well, I… don't knooooow….. can't seem 'em for the glow of the neon lights and it's a… long waaaay from here… to the place where the home fires burn. Well it's two thousand miles and one left tuuuuuurnn…." _She adds a little country accent to her singing voice, which is truly perfect because the singer of the song has a strong, thick country accent. I'm tempted to join in the chorus with her, but I don't want to overpower her beautiful singing with my terrible singing.

"_Dear mom and dad, please send money. I'm so broke that it ain't funny. Well, I don't need much just enough to get me throoooough. Please don't worry cause I'm alright… see I'm playin' here at the bar tonight. This time I'm gonna make our dreams come truuuuuueee…." _She looks over at me with a half-smile as I pull into our driveway. She finishes off the chorus just as I'm about to shut the car off. _"Well, I love you more than aaaaanything in the woooorld. Love your baby girl."_

"…I think we got a little country singer on our hands…" I say as I get out of the car. She perks up a little at that. She shuts her car door and walks around to me.

"No, you should hear my sister sing country. She's the best. She's literally the best country singer." She beams. Her sister makes her happy. I wonder why she doesn't talk more about her. I stop her and lean against the car. I hope I don't upset her, but I really need to know.

"…Did your sister pass on, Demi?"

"Who, Dallas? NO! She's…. around." She just shrugs. "My mom and my sisters aren't dead, Kevin. They're alive. And still in Texas." She seems annoyed that I asked.

"How come you don't talk to them?"

"…It's complicated." She storms past me and into the house. She has a bit of a temper. That's another thing I noticed about her. Something just tells me that when she's angry or upset, it's not a good thing. Possibly I should look into getting her some anger management classes. Her temper is horrible. But that's just a thought. Nonchalantly, I follow her into house, shutting the front door behind me. I go directly to the living room, where I know everyone ought to be. Joe is lying on the couch alone, Nick is sitting on the love seat, playing a video game with Frankie. Danielle has her nose buried in the baby book again, my dad is patiently waiting for his turn to play the video game and my mom is looking up recipes in the recliner.

"Hi, Kevin. Hi Demi. Dinner's on the stove. How did the doctor's go?" My mom puts her recipe book down and looks at the both of us standing in the doorway.

"It went okay. Demi has astigmatism, she's farsighted. I ordered her a pair of glasses, they'll be in on Wednesday." I sit down next to Joe on the couch. "What's wrong with you?"

"…I don't feel too good. Think I'm coming down with something." He says casually. I look at him, more like a glare. Maybe he caught what Demi had through the air, but I sure hope he didn't catch it some other way. I REALLY hope he didn't catch it the only other way to catch the flu. "D..Dad. Tell Kevin and Demi what you were thinking." He changes the subject so fast my head spins.

"Oh! Yes." My dad reaches over and pauses the game that Frankie and Nick are so in to. "Demi, me and Nicholas were talking…" Oh no. It's never a good thing when my dad and Nick start talking. "And if it's alright with you, we were thinking about having you two record a little something together."

"DAD! Don't put her…. on the spot like that!" I look over at Demi. Her face is blank. Her big brown eyes are wide and she looks innocent, and very blindsided. I know Nick put my dad up to this. I know he did.

"Just let her think about it, Kevin. She might—"

"…No, it's okay. I'm… I'm flattered that you… think I'm good enough. But I…. I really need to think about it." Demi nervously holds her arm in her hand and scratches at her elbow. She sways back and forth slightly. "You see… I don't really… I… I sing as a hobby… I don't really do it for… for show." She explains rather nicely. I'm furious. He completely put her on the spot. Completely. "…I'll… um… I'll let you know. I'm ju…just gonna… go put on some comfortable clothes."

She turns and walks up the steps. I need to talk to both Nick and my dad. NOW. "Dad…. Nick… I want to talk to you guys. Outside, please." I glance over at Danielle. She shakes her head and keeps reading the baby book. I shrug and go outside with my dad and Nick.

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

I peer over the couch cushions and make sure that Kevin is outside. As soon as I hear the front door shut, I sit up. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I still feel a little sick." I half lie to my mom, Frankie and Danielle. I really don't feel good, but I'm not going to the bathroom. I'm gonna make sure Demi's okay. I didn't think that the duet was a good idea to just throw on her like that, but I had to get Kevin off my case. He was definitely on to something.

"Alright, Joseph. When you come back, I want you to take some of this medicine." My mom keeps reading the book. She doesn't know where I'm going. She doesn't need to know.

I crawl off the couch and hurry up the steps. If Demi's stomach was hurting like mine is hurting right now, I understand why she would cry about it. I might have caught the flu just from being around her, but I'm pretty sure me kissing her had something to do with me getting sick.

I walk down the hall to the guest room and walk right in. Knocking isn't really an issue right now. I just want to make sure she's alright. When I walk in, she jumps slightly. "Shh… it's just me." I assure her and shut the door again. She's in a sports bra and a pair of pajama pants.

"…Ever hear of knocking?" She goes back to digging through her drawers like she was before I barged in. Nick wasn't joking. She has a banging ass body. Her long hair rests just below her bra line and it falls on either side of her body in silky lengths. As she's bent over rummaging, I can see the black strings of her thong above the rim of her yellow flannel pajama pants. She has deep back dimples just below her pants line and she's really tiny. She is fine as hell.

"S..Sorry." I shake my head to clear the dirty thoughts I'm having about her. Damn. I'd hit it RIGHT. I'd smash for HOURS, with NO hesitation. It doesn't make any sense for a seventeen year old to be that damn fine. "I just came to see if you were okay." I sit down on the bed and cross my legs slightly to control the growing bulge in my pants.

"I'm fine." She pulls an orange t-shirt over her head and sits next to me. "Sorry for getting you sick… I know I did."

"Mmm… It's okay." I shake my head again. For some reason, my mind keeps going back to wanting her legs on my shoulders while I stroke her deep. I'd need a few hours to accomplish what I have in mind for her. I'm willing to bet she's never been fucked RIGHT before. She wouldn't be so uptight if she had been.

"…What's the matter with you? And don't say it's your stomach…" Damn, she's smart. She's smart and quick as a whip. I could always lie to her though.

"…Nothing." I hold my head with my hand. Just give me two hours with her. Just two, long, uninterrupted hours.

"Something." She crosses her legs and looks at me with strong skepticism. "…Is it something about your girlfriend?" She puts her hands on either side of her body and swings her legs, her short, yet long and slender legs. "I give terrible advice, but I could try…"

"No, Demi. It's nothing about Camilla." Something is serious about her. I just feel like I can't physically lie to her. It's just something that I can't do. "It's about you." I lift my head up and look at her. She doesn't have the biggest boobs, but they're good enough for me. That's possibly the only thing Camilla has on her. I'm more of an ass over boobs kind of guy. It doesn't matter to me what size a girl's boobs are, as long as I can suck on them.

"Me?! What did I do?!" She crinkles her brow and looks at me hard.

"…Nothing." I stand up. I have to ask Camilla to come over, just for a little while. And not to mention, I have to be back downstairs before Kevin comes inside and figures out where I'm at. "I just think you're hot."

"…Oh. Well, you're not too shabby yourself." She shrugs and props her feet up on the bed. "…I just don't understand why you and your brother make it so obvious that all you want from any girl is just sex."

"…Y…You think all I want is to bang you?" I stop dead in my tracks and re-shut the door to her room. She's got it all wrong. "Why do you think all I want from you is sex? What makes you think that?"

"…Well you keep staring at me and stuff. And you didn't even ask me out on a date or anything. At least Nick took me out before he started asking about sex and stuff." She shrugs and turns on her TV. I sit back down on the bed next to her and touch her arm.

"…Demi, that's not true. I would love nothing more than to take you out to spend alone time with you other than being in this house. I was thinking about how much you would like to go to a show. A play, to hear them sing. I've thought about it. But… you know I can't. I don't want you just for sex, though I imagine that if we did have sex, we'd both enjoy it. But that's not all I want. And if you think that, then you obviously got the wrong impression of me."

She looks at me. "Really? ….I'm sorry then." She flings her hair over her shoulder. "I understand that you can't… be all over me in the way that I want you to be. I respect that you have a girlfriend. So we should stops sleeping together. And I think I'm gonna go ahead and pursue a relationship with Nick." She explains to me, rationally.

"…Okay. I won't come in here at night anymore. And I know that Nick will treat you… decently. But if you need me, Demi. You know that I'm always there as your friend. Always." I stand up from the bed again and walk to the door. She says nothing else to me.

I'm starting to second guess marrying and getting engaged to Camilla.

I do not, by any means want to have sex with Demi and be done with her. I'm beginning to think that I might want a serious relationship with her. The only problem is that Camilla's a little bit… crazy. And if she finds out that I want to leave her for a seventeen year old, she might act out. And if she acts out, it's possible that she could hurt Demi. Decisions, decisions. Why do I have to be in love with two girls?

I'm beginning to think that I like Demi a little more than Camilla, though.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

I'd better just go take a shower. I won't lie and say I'm not at all bummed out about Joe having a girlfriend, but I figure that it's just my luck. He's perfect for me. Cropped black hair with muscles that are hard and prominent; he's perfect. He holds me while I sleep and kisses me goodnight, even when I'm sick. I feel a little bit bad about getting him sick, though. The flu was terrible, I wouldn't wish that on anybody.

I get up from the bed and retreat to my bathroom. I guess I could start calling these things mine now. It is my bed. It is my bathroom, after all. It'll go back to being the guest room when I leave. I sit down on the edge of the shower and start the water, testing the temperature with my hand. Sitting on the edge, I hear a slight knock on the main door of my room. I shake my wet hand and walk rather fast to answer the door. It's Mrs. Jonas.

"Sorry to interrupt whatever you're doing, honey. But me and my husband would like to see you downstairs for a moment, if you don't mind." She asks me, sweetly but the look on her face is very serious. I half wonder if I'm in trouble. You ever get that feeling where you feel like you're in trouble, so every bad thing you've ever done starts racing through your head as you try to decide just which one might have done it for you?

"…Sure. Just… give me a second, please." I comply, because maybe if I cooperate with her, she won't kick me out of the house for whatever I did. Maybe she's mad about me and Joe. I'll explain and apologize if that happens to be the issue. I turn back into the room and dash to the bathroom to shut off the running water. I turn the knob towards the "off" setting and start on my way downstairs.

I'm so nervous. I really can't think of any other reason why they'd be upset with me, other than maybe they're angry about me and Nick or me and Joe. I guess I'll just wait and see. I walk down the flight of carpeted steps and turn the corner into the living room. Mrs. Jonas is sitting on the couch right next to Mr. Jonas. Nobody else is around. Not even Kevin. I'm really worried.

"…Yes?" I stand up in front of them, grabbing my sweaty hands on my pajama pants and rocking back and forth on my feet.

"Sit down, please." Mr. Jonas motions to the loveseat directly across from the couch. I sit down and cross my legs. My foot shakes aggressively because of my nerves. Mrs. Jonas has a box next to her. I wonder what's in it. "So, Kevin informed us that your birthday is on Thursday… on the 20th."

I nod slowly. "…Yeah, it is."

"I know it's early by a few days, but we discussed it and we both agree that we would feel more comfortable if you had this." Mrs. Jonas reaches in the box beside her and pulls out a shiny white and silver cell phone. She shines it off on her pants leg and hands it across the coffee table to me. I can't take this…

"…F…for me?" I don't take the phone. It sits in Mrs. Jonas's outstretched hand, waiting.

"Yes. For you, Demi. If you're going to be living here, as a part of this family, we would all feel better if we could keep in touch with you if you're ever out." She stretches her hand out some more and tries to get me to take the phone.

I take it off her and look at it. It's all touch screen, and on the back, it has "iPhone" written on it. This must've cost an arm and a leg. Wow. "…Thank you so much…" Maybe I could call Dallas and my mom now.

This cell phone could come in handy.


	16. I Miss You

**Demi's Point of View.**

"We'll use practice material before we let you get familiar with the custom stuff. Can you read music at all, Demi?" Mr. Jonas puts a music stand in front of me and adjusts it to my height.

"…I can read sheet music, if that's what you mean." I'm not really into singing for show. I'm not a dog that does things just to be flashy and showy, but they bought me a cell phone, which is really the reason why I decided to go ahead and sing with Nick. I guess singing isn't that bad, but I'd much rather just to it for a hobby, you know?

"That's exactly what I meant." He puts a blue book down on the stand in front of me. "In here are some duets that you and Nicholas can practice with. Look through here and pick one that you're comfortable with. You should know some of the material, it's all pretty modern." He locks the stand so it's eyelevel with me. I step back a little so that I can read it. "I'd like to hear you and Nicholas sing some practice stuff before we record the actual song. Just so we know what to work on."

I flip through the brown pages of the book. It's just a bunch of songs and lyrics. None of these sound promising, if I'm being honest. I know most of the songs in here, there are some Sugarland songs, a Madonna song… I guess I can sing this one. I know Christina Aguilera pretty well. I show the page to Nick. "We can try this one out."

Nick looks at the page number and flips to it. "Oh… Mom likes this song. We can practice to this one, I don't mind. I know Blake Shelton's parts forwards and backwards, if you know the girl parts." Of course I know the girl parts, otherwise I wouldn't have picked the song. "Dad, we're gonna practice to Just a Fool."

"Alright. Let me hear it." Mr. Jonas sits down at the piano bench and watches the both of us with his hands folded. "I'll start the instrumental whenever you're ready, Demi."

This isn't gonna go well. I can already tell it won't, because I'm not in the mood to sing. I have to really get myself in the mood in order to sing, and I couldn't be farther from the mood right now. I'll probably sing horribly. Hopefully once I start to sing, I'll get in the mood. I give Mr. Jonas a slight nod, and he presses play on a big stereo. The music starts instantly. I don't get what the big deal is. I don't think I'm that good of a singer. I've never had lessons or anything. It's a hobby, really. I sigh and eye the start of the lyrics. I swallow hard and take a deep breath. I start to sing.

"_Another shot of whiskey, please bartenderrrr. Keep 'em coming til I don't reeeemember at all; how bad it hurts when you're gone. Turn the music up a little bit looooouder. Just gotta get past the midnight hoooour, ohh. Maaaaybe tomooooorrow it won't be. This. Hard…." _Okay, I'm in the mood now. And a high note is coming. I get really mad if I don't nail my high notes, okay? _"Who am I kiiiiidding? I know what I'm miiiiiissing, OHHHHH." _I put my hand on my stomach and push. It just helps me get the note out better. _"I had my heart set on yooooou. But nothing else hurts like you doooooo…. Who knew that love was so cruuuuuuel, yeah, yeah, yeeaaaah." _I close my eyes tight. _"And iiiiiiiiiiii….waited and waited so long…. For someone who'll never come hoooome…. It's my fault to think you'll be true, yeah yeah…" _I bring it down to my natural singing voice. _"And I'm just a foooool." _

Nick puts his face down to read the lyrics from the song book. I wonder how good he can sing. It's his turn. "I said that I don't care, I'd walk away, whaaaatever. And I tell myself we were bad toooogether, uhh. But that's just me trying to moooove ooon…with…out you…" I notice that everyone filed into the living room. Nobody makes a sound. Everybody just listens. Kevin's face is lit up, Joe staring directly at me. Dani looks like she's in shock and Mrs. Jonas looks like she might cry.

Nick and I sing together for the next part. _"But who am I kiiiiiiiidding? I know what I'm missssssing, and OHHHHH." _I do feel like me and Nick are connecting a bit. It's almost like we're battling for who's voice is the strongest. Neither one of us are winning. _"I had my heart set on yooooou. But nothing else hurts like ya dooooo… Who knew that love was soooo cruuuuuuel, yeah yeah yeah, and IIIIIII…. Waited and waited so looooong, for someone who'll never come hoooome. It's my fault to think you'll be truuuue…. Yeah, yeaaah."_

"I'm just a fool for holding on to something that's never ever gonna come baaack. I can't accept that it's lost…" Nick seems like he's singing a little better than me. I can't have that.

"_I should have let it goooooo, held my tongue, Kept my big mouth shuuuut. Cause now everything is just wroooooong." _I give it my ALL before Nick joins back in. We sing together again.

"_Wrong, wrong, wrong!... I'm just a fooooool." _Nick stops looking at the lyrics after that part, and so do I. He looks at me and I look at him. We walk closer together and we sing, but we sing to each other. I think THIS is what a duet is supposed to be like.

I adlib and sing something random to him. _"A fool for you…I'm just a fooooolllll…. Ohhh." _He doesn't let me sing alone for long. He joins in with me. _"A fool for you baby…. I….. I HAD MY HEART SET ON YOOOOU. BUT NOTHING ELSE HURTS LIKE YA DOOOOO. WHO KNEW THAT LOVE WAS SOOOOO CRUEL?"_

We both tone it down a bit, and I can tell that we're done. We end it together. _"And I'm just a fooool." _

I feel like I did good. But I don't wanna sing anymore today. I want that to be it. I look around at everyone. Mr. Jonas looks extremely satisfied. Mrs. Jonas is crying. Either we did really bad or really good. I thought it went well.

"…WOW." Mr. Jonas stands up and claps his hands. "Bravo. BRAVO." He gives me an awkward hug which makes me smile. "You truly are amazing, Demi. How long have you been taking singing lessons?"

I shake my head. "I never have…"

"NEVER?!"

"Never." My throat is so scratchy I can't take it. I cough lightly into my fist. My throat is soooo itchy. "I need some water…" I cough a little harder. I've never hit a note that high before. "Can that be it for today?" I cough really hard into my hand. "I can't sing anymore. We can do the real thing tomorrow…"

"Of course." Mrs. Jonas steps in and gives me a hug. "It's getting late anyway, Paul. She's had a long day." She plays with my long hair. That's so true though. I've had an extremely long day. I am kind of tired. "She's tired, let her rest."

"…Alright." Mr. Jonas reluctantly agrees. "But first thing in the morning, you and Nick are recording that duet. It is a little past 11. We should probably all be heading to sleep." He begins to clean up the music stands. My throat is still really itchy, but I've finally stopped coughing.

Everyone in the room disperses and heads upstairs to their respective rooms. I'm a little excited to go upstairs and make my first phone call with my new cell phone. I follow Danielle upstairs. She's been really sick lately, from being pregnant. I feel bad for her, but Kevin said that she'll feel better after the second trimester.

"Demi." Nick stops me walking into his room, just as I'm about to walk into mine. He's really smiley and giddy, for what reason I don't know. "Great job downstairs. You're an… amazing singer. Amazing. You blew me away." He catches a strand of my hair and admires it.

"…Thank you. You're not… bad yourself." I smile a little and rock back and forth. He stares at my smile.

"…Well. Can I have a little… you know… goodnight kiss?" He asks nervously. I figure that I'd better ask him now, because I decided to end it with Joe. Nick's not so bad. He's really cute and he's really sweet.

"…Why don't you… come in. My room, I mean. Around… twelve?" I look over his shoulder and catch Joe going into his bedroom. He has his headphones on and they're playing loud so I can tell he's not paying attention to us. "I like to be held while I sleep…"

"I… um…of course! Yeah. I'll be in. At twelve." He nods and smiles as if I just made his entire life worth living.

"Okay. My door will be unlocked. Just come in… see you at twelve." I quickly dismiss him and disappear into my room. I have to make a phone call, and since it's 11, I only have an hour to do it. I close my door and bounce down on my bed, grabbing my new phone in the process. I have one new text message. It's from a weird number. I slide my finger across it to open it up. It says: "Hey. It's Joe. This is my number." I hate to admit it, but it makes me crack a smile. I have his number.

I would text him back, but I really just don't want to waste time. I push the home button and go onto my keypad. I punch in the number. This is a new number for her. She BETTER answer. She knows that any weird numbers are probably from me. The phone rings four times before she picks up.

"Hello?" Her voice is muggy. It sounds like she was asleep or something.

"Hey, Dal! It's me!" I find myself smiling so wide. I just love talking to her. And I'm calling her from my own phone, so I can talk longer than usual. I'm so happy.

"Demi? What's up, baby? How are you? Where are you?" She livens up.

"I'm… I'm really good. Still at my doctor's house in New Jersey. The family is so nice, Dal. They… they bought me my own cell phone. I have a phone now, Dal! You can text me… call me. Whatever you want. Send me pictures of Maddie!"

"…Do you have an iPhone? Did they get you an iPhone?"

"Yeah, they did. It's a white one…"

"Oh my god, Demi. I'm gonna hang up now… okay?"

"…Why? Dal, I wanna talk to you!" Tears sting the corners of my eyes. I don't want her to hang up. I don't want her to hang up at all. I wanna talk to her…

"Just trust me, Demi! Trust me…" She hangs up the phone just like that. Is she gonna call back? That was short. I can finally talk long… why'd she cut it so short? Dallas…

I put my phone down on the bed and sniff hard. I don't want to cry, because Nick's coming in here at 12. But I could just sob right now. I just wanna talk to my sister. Why won't she talk to me? This really, really fucking sucks.

Just as I begin to let myself cry, my phone starts ringing. It's a different kind of ring, though. It's a kind of… beeping in a way. It's a soft ring, almost inaudible. I look down and pick up my phone. It says something weird across the top, and I'm on the screen. FACETIME! I WASN'T EVEN THINKING ABOUT FACETIME! I quickly accept it and wait for the cameras to sync up. I'm gonna cry. I'm really gonna lose it.

The cameras sync together and there she is. Just as I remember her, but with darker hair. She's practically a dark red head. Her eyes are the same piercing light brown and she's so pretty. I'm gonna cry. She looks into the camera with her mouth open.

"…D…De…Demi?" She gasps. "….B…Baby…."

I cover my hand over my mouth and let out a soft little wail. "Dal…"

"YOUR HAIR! DEMI… YOUR EYES… YOUR FACE… YOU'RE SO… OH MY GOD… IT'S YOU…" She starts sobbing quietly. I cry too. "You're so pretty, baby…. I miss you… oh my god…"

"I know… I know…" I hiccup softly and sniff. "You're pretty, Dal… you're so pretty…" My heart is aching. "Where's mommy? Where's Maddie? Let me…" I can't even finish my sentence without my voice breaking. Oh my god. Dallas's camera moves a little as she gets up from where she was sitting.

"Be quiet, okay? I want to surprise mom." She whispers and walks into a dark place. It's most likely the hallway. She walks for a while until it's lighted again. I watch her camera and it goes into the room with red carpet. My mom's room. It's only 10:00 in Texas, yet she's probably in bed. I hear Dallas talk in the background.

"Ma. Ma… MA! Turn off the frickin TV. I want to show you something on my phone."

"Don't yell, Dallas. I just got Madison to sleep and I really just want to lie down. Been crying all day long, I'm tired and very cranky. I don't want to see anything on your phone. Not tonight." My mom's voice doesn't sound the same. She sounds rundown and very tired.

"I'm not taking no for an answer. You WANT to see this, mom. Trust me." Dallas's camera moves a little, and I can tell that she just climbed on bed with my mom. "Here… look…" She hands her phone to my mom.

Her light blonde hair is resting straight around her chest, her strawberry blonde roots coming in through the top. She looks tired, and very, very, very weary. I can tell she was crying. I don't know what to say to her.

"…Mommy…" I say in a voice just barely above a whisper. I can't stop crying. Even my tears are crying.

"Is that… is that…. DEMI?"

"It's me, mommy… it's me. I'm okay… I'm okay…." I don't even bother to wipe my tears anymore. "It's me…"

"Oh my… oh my go…god, DEMI! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BABY GIRL? HOW ARE YOU? WHERE ARE YOU AT?! ARE YOU OKAY?! OH MY…. OH MY GOD." My mom holds her heart and starts crying her eyes out. I wanna hug her so bad. I want to kiss her cheek and lie in her arms and just sleep. I miss my mom.

"I'm okay! I'm okay… I'm… I'm in N…New Jer..sey…" I can't talk through my tears. "A…And I'm stayi…ing with this fam…ily… they're the Jonases. They're re..really nice to me mommy…. I sleep here and eat here.. I'm… I'm ss…safe. Th…they're goo…good to…m…me." I'm sobbing so hard it's not even funny.

"Oh…. My god. Yo…you're so beautiful. Look at you… your hair, baby girl. Your hair and your pretty little eyes…" She wipes her own tears. "Where at in New Jersey? Where at? I'm coming honey… I'm coming… I promise. It's just taking us a minute, but we're coming… th…they stopped looking. We're coming, baby… we're coming…"

"I miss you so much… I—" I'm not only interrupted by my tears, but by the door opening. Whoever is coming in here needs to just GET OUT! I look over at the door and see that it's Kevin. I want him out.

"Demi, what's wrong… I can hear you crying from down the hall…" He shuts the door behind himself and looks at me with deep concern. I don't want him in here right now. I just want my own moment, dammit.

"Get out… please. Please. I'll explain later. Just leave me alone…" I swat him off. "GO AWAY, KEVIN." He gets the picture. Normally, he would just ignore me and stay in here anyway. But he gets the picture that I really mean it. He backs out of the room slowly and shuts the door.

"…That was Kevin. The doctor who let me stay here…" I sniff hard and look at the time. It's already 11:50. Damn. Time goes so fast…

"I'd love to meet him and thank him, Demi. Why didn't you let me meet him?" My mom wipes her eyes again.

"I'm not ready for you to." I shake my head. "…I love you mom. But I gotta go, okay? I'll…I'll facetime you tomorrow, okay? Same time. Make sure Maddie's awake. I have to go to sleep…"

"…Okay baby girl. I love you so much, okay? We're coming. We are. I promise we're coming. I love you SO much.."

I don't wanna say goodbye. But if I cancel with Nick, then who knows if I'll sleep tonight. "I love you too mommy. And you too Dal. Talk to you guys tomorrow… okay? I love you both… bye." I sniff hard before I hang up. I put my phone back down on the dresser next to me and take a deep breath. I feel… so much happier. I feel better.

I wipe my face hard, trying to rid it of all crying evidence before Nick comes in here. I wipe my face all the way and shut off the light so he won't be able to see much. It's 11:58. Like I told him to, he doesn't knock.

He just comes right in.

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

I wonder how Demi's sleeping tonight. I wonder if she's okay. I'm hurting so bad right now. It's like I can't sleep without her either. Man, I'm so messed up right now. I could be on the phone with Camilla until I fall asleep, but all I'm thinking about is Demi. And her face. And her smile. And the way she squeezes me against her when she's lying on my chest.

How is she sleeping? Is she sleeping at all? Should I go check? No. Don't go check. Let her go. I have to learn to let her go. I have to if I want to marry Camilla. I want to marry Camilla.

Demi's like a drug to me. I have to learn how to wean myself off of her, even if it does hurt. I hurt so bad. I just want to lie with her, with no strings attached to it. I want to be able to sleep with her without backlash. I want to be able to kiss her without feeling guilty. I want Demi. A little more than I want Camilla, I want Demi.

I texted her earlier and she just didn't answer me. I wonder if Kevin gave me the wrong number for her, but then again, it did tell me that my message was read. So it probably was her number. Why won't she just answer me? I want to talk to her.

I'm really starting to second guess whether or not I should order Camilla's engagement ring. At this point, I'm almost certain that I want to marry her. But I don't want to marry her and then regret doing it. I'm feeling pretty solid about marrying her TODAY. But who's to say that I'll feel the same way after we actually walk down the aisle? As long as Demi's here, I'll always have doubts about Camilla. I know what I have to do. I have to leave Demi alone. And I'm really gonna try to leave her alone.

I turn over on my side in my bed and sigh. I think tomorrow, I'm gonna go ahead and take Camilla out on a date so that we can reconnect with each other. I close my eyes in an attempt to go to sleep. I think I'll take Camilla to dinner and a movie. That's always nice, isn't it? I sigh and keep my eyes closed.

It was nice to forget about Demi. It was nice for the entire two seconds it lasted. I have to know how she's sleeping tonight. Fuck it. What Camilla doesn't know won't kill her. I'm tired of fighting it. I roll out of my bed and yank the door to my bedroom open. I walk down the hall to Demi's room. I just want to know if she's sleeping okay. If she's asleep, I'll go to bed. If she's not, I'll lie down with her. Quietly, I open up the door to her room. I squint to see through the darkness. She's not alone.

She's… she's…. WITH NICK?! All of a sudden, I'm angry, I'm CRAZY angry. No. No. NO, NO , NO. That's MY job! I HOLD HER WHILE SHE SLEEPS, NOT HIM. She replaced me… I suck on my bottom lip to keep from crying and back slowly out of the room. Neither one of them budge. They're not sleeping though, because I heard the silent sounds of their voices talking. She replaced me… just like that. I shut the door just as quietly as I opened it and go back to my room.

I don't want Nick to take my spot. I don't want Nick holding her. I want to be the one. I want to be her rock, her pillow to sleep on. I snatch my phone off the dresser and hastily type a text message. I type: "Get rid of him. NOW."

She better text me back, or else I WILL just bust in there and pitch a fit. She must sense my urgency and my anger, because she does text back. I read her text: "What ?"

What does she mean what? What? Exactly what I fucking said. I text back: "Get RID OF NICK. NOW. I'm coming in."

She texts back: "Why?"

I text: "Because I said so Demi. Just text me back when he's gone."

"K."

I wipe my cheeks. I cried a little. I think I cried because I was so angry though. I don't want anyone to lay with Demi. I just want to lay with Demi. Just me. My phone buzzes again. It's her. Nick's gone. Good. I roll out of my bed again, pull myself together and walk back down the hall to her room. I don't knock. I just walk right in. She's sitting up in bed waiting for me. She's gorgeous. I shut her door behind me and stand in front of her.

"…What the hell was that?!" I struggle to maintain my composure, so in order to calm myself, I stare at her face. She looks so innocent and pretty. Her big brown eyes look at me as if she's sorry she did something.

"What was what?" She tucks her pretty hair behind her ears and looks at me deeply.

"You and Nick? Really?" I walk to my side of the bed and lie down next to her. She turns her body to face me and she looks very sorry. "This is OUR thing, Demi. Ours. Me and yours. I don't want you sharing it with Nick…"

"…I'm sorry. I just… you said you wanted to end it… I didn't think you'd care." She sighs. "We were just talking. It wasn't anything serious…. I like you better than I like him…" She looks down apologetically.

"…It's okay. But yes. I care. I care a lot. Demi…. I…. I've never ever cheated on my girlfriends before. But I mean…. I…. I don't know." I shake my head and sigh. I don't know what to do. I'm just gonna wing it from now on. "I just don't want anyone else to have you…"

She moves down in the bed, scoots closer to me and lies her head on my chest like she always does. "…I don't want anyone else to have you either…" She whispers to me.

I really don't know what to do. I just don't know. Whatever it is that I do, I don't think that I'll be ordering the engagement ring anymore. Should I break it off with Camilla?

I just don't know what to do…


	17. Revelations

**Demi's Point of View.**

"You look so nice in them. Can you see better than before?" Kevin adjusts the black plastic frames on my face so that they're straight. I see a hell of a lot better, to be honest. But it feels weird to have glasses back on my face. I've been so long without them.

"…Yeah." I nod and hold a palm mirror in my hand. I study myself. My beady brown eyes are still ugly through the lenses. My eyebrows curve slightly over the top of the arch in the glasses. I think they look decent on me. You can't really go wrong with plain black frames. "I see a lot better." I admit.

"I'm glad you like them, though I still wish you would've let me buy those pretty red and pink frames for you. They were only $35." He puts the palm mirror into his glove compartment and shuts it.

"And these were only $7. I don't need you spending all this money on me, Kevin." I nudge the rims of my new glasses up on my nose to keep them from sliding down and stare out the window. I don't know why Kevin wants to spend a bunch of money on me. I don't deserve any of it, and I can't give any of it back to him. I don't need to feel like I owe him any more than I already do.

"Maybe that's true." He puts his turn signal on and turns up the road to get on the highway back home. "So, what was that on the phone last night? With you crying?" Dammit. I knew that was coming. It was just a matter of time before he asked. It's not a big secret or anything. I just don't want him to meet my mom and my sisters yet. Especially not over Facetime. That just wouldn't be right. But on the other hand, I'd feel a lot more lousy if I lied to his face by saying it's nothing. I'll tell him.

"Promise you won't make a big deal of it?" I really don't want to talk about it with him, if I'm being honest. I'd rather just talk to them, and that be the end of it. I look over at him as he drives at a steady pace along the highway.

"I promise. I just want to know what was wrong…" He tampers the volume on the radio down a little so we don't have to talk over it.

"…I called my sister last night. And I was video chatting with her and my mother." I pick at my nails. My nails are still super long, but they're not as breakable and bendable as they were before. Thinking back about it, I'm a little glad that Kevin helped me off the streets. It's done who knows what wonders for me.

"Really? That's awesome, Demi! Why didn't you tell me? I'd hook you up to the MacBook if I had known that's what you were doing." He sounds genuinely happy for me, but I can't tell if it's an act or not. "…So what'd they say? They miss you? They cry too? What happened?"

"…Nothing, really. We just caught up…" I clear my throat. "And yeah. They miss me. My mom cried…and promised me that she was coming."

"Coming? Coming where?"

"…To get me." I say in a low voice. "They're coming…eventually." I lick my top lip and hold back some tears. I feel like I'm letting Kevin down by saying that I'm not gonna be here forever. I hope he's not sad or anything.

"…What's taking them so long in the first place, Demi? You've been with us for almost two weeks now. It's time for you to start talking. If your family loves you so much, then why are they not here already? If you were my daughter, I'd be –" He starts ranting. He couldn't be farther from the truth, so he should shut up.

"It's a lot more complicated than that, Kevin. They're helping me by staying away!" I interrupt him. He has no idea what he's talking about. No idea. "They can't just pick up and come to Jersey… you… you don't understand." I shake my head and gaze out the window some more. This is just annoying.

"I don't understand, because you don't let me understand you, Demi. I've been trying to figure you out for the longest time, and I just can't. I have pieces of the puzzle, but nothing makes sense to me. You have a mom that's good to you. You have sisters that love you…. Yet you're still here? Something isn't right about this, Demi." He pulls into the driveway and parks the car.

"…You and your family spend the entire time thinking of me as sweet… innocent… little Demi. …I'm not what you think I am, Kevin. And I'm sorry. But I'm just not what I've cracked up to be. I can't explain it to you. And no matter how hard you tried to guess it, you'll never get it right." I wipe my tears and sniff. "I'll be gone by tomorrow… I'm done here. Thank you… but I have to go. I can't keep doing this to your family." I open up the car door and start to get out. I can't live with them anymore. I've gotta go.

"Demi, NO!" He reaches across my lap and slams the door back shut. "I've let you run from this for far too long. You're not… you're not running from this again. TELL me what's going on with you, for Christ's sake. Tell me so that I can HELP you… you're not doing ANYTHING to my family."

"…You don't realize what I'm doing to you guys…" I put my face in my hands and sob, soaking up the lenses of my new glasses. "I'm sorry…"

"…If you're talking about you and Nick… Demi that's fine…" He puts his hand on my shoulder and rubs it.

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO FUCKING TIE BACK TO ME AND HIS BROTHERS? GOD. " IT'S NOT ABOUT NICK! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST." I grip the crown of my thick black hair and pull until I hear it rip. I haven't gotten this angry in a really long time.

"DEMI, STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP PULLING YOUR HAIR OUT!" He grabs my hands and drags them down, out of my hair. "Stop it… stop it…"

"You just don't understand. You will NEVER understand. Leave me alone." I get out of the car, and this time he lets me. I feel bad for acting like that towards him, but I just need to be left alone; especially when I get this angry. It's not safe for me to get this mad. I have to calm down. I need calm down time. I open up the door to the house and walk straight in. What I learned in the anger management classes. How to calm down.

1… 2….

I run up the steps to my bedroom.

3…4….

Why am I thinking about it? I don't want to think about it…

5….6…..

I shut and lock the door and flop down on the bed, plugging my ears with my fingers. Stop thinking about it. Stop thinking about. Stop. Stop.

….

"**9-1-1, what's your emergency?" The friendly operator says robotically in my ear. I lick my chapped lips and breathe hard. The aching between my legs is nagging at me, begging me to take off the tight pair of jeans I've been in all day. "Hello, is anyone there?" She says nicely. I can always call back if I can't find the words to say. Surely, they have already traced the call by now. **

**I slide my finger across the trigger of the stick lighter I have in my hands. "…M…my house. It's on fire." I whisper to her as calmly as possible and hang up within the same breath. I'm a little too calm. I've already ran through this in my head for about three hours while I lied in my bed, thinking. Thinking about how much I really need to do this. To take back what he took. What he took from me. I don't want to destroy the entire house. Just one room. Just one.**

**I tuck my phone safely between my breasts and walk down the hall, into their room. I'm not even thinking twice. I know what I want to do, and the soreness between my legs is only making me more sure of it. I have to be fast, quick, agile. By this time, the fire department is probably already in hot pursuit. I walk over to the side of the bed where my mom is sleeping, and I tap her. She's a very light sleeper, waking up at even the most minor of provocations. He is the polar opposite. It'd take a meteor shower and a lunar eclipse to wake him up. "…Mom." I whisper. **

**Her eyes snap open quick. "Demi? What's the matter, baby? Are you okay?" She sits up as if she was never sleeping and holds my hand. I don't have time to explain. I'm on a mission. I know what I want to do. And if I know my mother at all, I know she won't care in the least if I actually do it.**

"**Get up. Hurry up. Go downstairs. With Madison and Dallas." I still speak in a light whisper. He doesn't budge. His snoring is disgusting and even seeing him breathing is making my stomach churn. I pull my mom by her hand and force her out of the room.**

"**Demi, what's going on?" She frantically hurries me into her arms, I push her away. **

"**Just go downstairs." I say, firmly as if I'm absolutely certain that something is going to happen. I am certain. I am.**

**My mom listens to me. She hurries downstairs in a distraught mess. I'm running out of time. I'm running out. I don't hear the sirens yet, but they're sure to be coming any minute now. I hurry and grab the white bottle with the red dispenser. I rip the dispenser completely off and throw the clear liquid all over the room. It smells heavily of gasoline in the room. I make sure I pour the majority of it all over him… even on his face. He wakes up with a start.**

"…**Dianna?" He days, his voice muggy and thick with drunken exasperation. Before he has the chance to fully wake up and realize what I'm doing, I grab the thick wad of paper towels from my back pocket and grab the stick lighter all in one motion. I light the paper towels on fire, throw them onto the bed and watch as he goes up in smoky, screaming, red, fiery flame. He screams. That scream is the last thing I hear before I leave the room, shutting the door behind me.**

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

"Yeah babe, the ring is on backorder. I don't know why, that's what I'm going to see. I think it got held up in California or something." I tap my fingers along the back of my phone and sigh. I shouldn't get as annoyed with her as I do, but some days I just can't help how I feel about her.

"So you won't be able to come over?" She sounds disappointed with me. I don't know what else to say to her besides to be flat out honest and tell her that I just don't want to come over. I'm not the kind of guy that likes to make any girl feel bad or cry. I don't want to see Camilla sad.

"No, babe. I can't. I have to go see about the ring, then I'm gonna go ahead up and see about getting my car fixed today. Maybe I'll come over a little later, after I'm done with my errands. I'll try to get the ring today…" I sweet-talk her out of being too mad at me.

"…Alright babe. I'm gonna go now…" She sighs hard and hangs up on m. I feel bad.

I stroke the beautiful diamond ring that came in the black suede box today. Okay, I lied to her. The ring DID come in today. But I can't give it to her yet. I can't give it to her when I'm not sure if I actually want to be engaged. At first, I really thought I loved her enough to commit to her for life. It sounds bad, but then Demi came around. And now, I'm not so sure if I really want to marry her or not. I pinch the bridge of my nose. Just let me think.

I bought myself some valuable time by telling her that I couldn't come over. I really just didn't want to face her today, knowing that I got the ring. I'd feel bad facing her without giving her the ring. I need my mind off Camilla before I start feeling really bad. Where's Demi?

I get up off my bed and open the door to my room. I look down the hall to make sure neither Nick nor Kevin will see me go into her room. Once I'm sure the coast is clear, I open up the door to Demi's room and go right in. She's lying down in her bed, her ears plugged with her fingers. She looks like she could be sleeping, but I'm not sure if she is or not.

"Demi?" I sit down beside her and tap her back. She doesn't budge, and she doesn't look like she's breathing. I'm getting worried. "Demi…" I put my hand on her arm and shake her. She's not dead. I'm just letting my mind think of the worst scenarios. "Demi."

She moves her body in a twisted motion and looks at me. "What?" Her eyes are really red and her long eyelashes are sticking together. Either she was sleeping really hard or she was crying. Maybe it was both. I put my hand on her lower back and rub.

"What the matter?" Something is definitely the matter with her. I lie down behind her so that we're spooning, and I hold her. I run my hands all along her flat stomach. "What's the matter?" I even plant a kiss on her cheek.

"L..leave me alone…" She pulls away from me roughly, but I just keep my arms around her.

"It's alright, Demi. It's alright. Whatever it is, it's alright." I kiss her cheek again and rub her flat stomach some more. I rub her all over her body, comforting her. She sniffs and finally allows me to hold her. I hate seeing her upset. It makes me upset.

She sniffs again and turns around to face me. She rests her head on my chest and inhales. "…Thank you." Her voice is muffled from her lying in my chest. I rub her back and press my lips to her forehead. I wonder what's wrong with her, but I won't ask. If I asked, I might offend her. And I don't want to do that.

"You're welcome." I whisper to her and keep holding her. "…You alright?"

She sniffs again. "I just need a break…"

"A break?" I take my lips off her forehead and lean back, my fingers tangled in the long entrails of her hair. She nods. "…What do you say about me and you getting out of here? For a little while? Just you and me…" I suggest, whispering to her to make sure she stays calm.

"…What about Nick? And Kevin?" She looks up at me, her big brown eyes still red around the rims. I use my thumbs to softly wipe away tears before they get the chance to fall down her beautiful little face.

"I don't care about them. The only thing that matters to me right now is you…" I'm being honest with her, which is something that's a little hard to get me to do. I really mean what I said. Demi's the only person that matters to me right now. Everyone else isn't a factor. It's just me and her.

"…Where are we gonna go?" She sits up and climbs down off the bed. She combs through her hair with her fingers and slides on a pair of flip flops. I stare at her for a brief moment. She's just so pretty. She's wearing a pair of black sweatpants that crop around her ankles. She has the pants rolled around her waist, because they're a little long for her legs. Her skin-tight spaghetti-strapped tank top that she has on is black too, and it comes up slightly around her waist, just barely exposing the silver charm hanging from her bellybutton. Her hair still falls in straight long lines, curving slightly inwards around her chest. She's very perfect. She literally takes my breath away.

"We'll go wherever the car takes us. Wherever we go." I can't help myself. I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her slim waist. I really wish she was my girl. It's not fair of me to want to be the only guy she's with when she's not my one and only. If I could just break it off with Camilla without any backlash or potentially dramatic outcomes, I really would.

She puts her hands on top of mine, rubbing my knuckles. "…Lemme go…" She whispers. "I don't want to be the cause of anything between you and your girlfriend… maybe we shouldn't go anywhere together…"

"No, Demi. Don't worry about her. You don't worry. Let me worry." I kiss her temple. I wish Demi was Camilla. I just want her to be mine. And I want to be hers. I could always… give the ring to Demi. "It's just me and you." I hold her hands.

She cracks a soft smile and lets my hands go. She walks over to her dresser and shoves a pair of black glasses on her face. Oh my god. I didn't think it was even possible for her to get any more attractive. Then she put the glasses on. "…I look like crap. I hope you're not taking me anywhere special…"

"You look perfect." I shut the lights off in her room, grab her hand again and lead her downstairs. We kind of do have to sneak out, because I know for a fact that Kevin would never let us go if he knew that it was only going to be us. I'll have to face the music when we get home, but I'm just going to enjoy my alone time with Demi until then. Nick's going to have a lot to say to me. Kevin might yell. But I don't really care who I make mad.

Demi follows me, hand still in mine down the steps and out the door. I don't know where I'm going to take her. But I'm going to take her somewhere. Maybe we'll go down by the beach. It'll be a good half hour getting there, but she'd like the beach. We both slip out the door unnoticed. I wonder how long it'll take Kevin to call me up and ask me where me and Demi are.

Demi gets in the passenger's seat of my dad's raggedy red truck and I get into the driver's seat. I'm glad to be spending time with her. Finally, it's not right before we're about to fall asleep. I maneuver my foot against the gas pedal and feel the black box in my pocket. The black box that contains the sparkly diamond ring.

I'm not sure if it's Camilla's ring or Demi's ring, though.


	18. Because

**Joe's Point of View.**

"Have you ever been to a beach? Do they have beaches down in Texas?" I ask Demi, her small, soft hand in mine walking along with the sea foam water splashing and licking all over our feet with the roll of the tide. Everything of hers is so small compared to mine. Her hands are tiny resting in mine. Her feet are tiny walking along mine. She's tiny compared to me.

"Yeah. We used to go to the beach all the time. Every summer for vacation, we'd go to Houston or Corpus Christi. My… My dad owned two beach houses..." She rests her head on my bicep and squeezes my hand tightly. "I haven't been to a beach in ages though. It's been a very long time…" She sighs and her long hair blows onto my chest in the slight ocean breeze. "…We should go home, huh?" She looks around on the shore.

Many couples and families have already packed up to go home, because the sun is setting. I think it's beautiful. I've never actually been on a beach for the sunset. I'm glad I got to experience it with Demi for the first time. The orange sky makes the seagulls and pelicans flying overhead a mysterious black color. It looks like something from out of a movie. "…I don't wanna go home yet." We've only been gone for about two hours now. I want as much time as possible with her.

"Then where else are we gonna go? We can't stay on the beach while it's dark…" She throws her black flip flops in front of her and steps her wet feet into them. I put my shoes back on too. I don't know where else I could take her, but I don't want to go home. I only have $20 in my pocket. I didn't bring enough to take her out to eat, and I refuse to take her to McDonalds. $20 could buy us a movie. But we'd have to go to the drive-in, because the drive-in is only $8 a person.

"You wanna go see a movie? At the drive-in?" I propose the offer to her after I stomp my feet back into my tenner shoes. I put my hand on her lower back and pull her close to me when I see a group of surfer boys walking past. I'm not her boyfriend, but they don't know that.

"…Sure. We can go to the movies…" She grabs her ringing phone from her pants pocket and stares at it. "…We should go home. Kevin's calling me again…" Her chubby little cheeks blush bright pink and she looks down.

"Let me answer it." I grab her slick new iPhone and slide my finger across the lock screen. "Yes, Kevin?"

"Joe? Why the hell are you answering Demi's phone? Give Demi the phone, Joe." He sounds like he's seething. His lips are probably quivering. Kevin's lips tremble whenever he gets pissed off. It's actually quite funny to make fun of him for.

"She's fine, Kevin. I'm not mistreating her. I'm taking good care of her. She's having fun. I'm not mistreating her, tattooing her, dying her hair purple or fucking her. She's fine. We're at the beach. We're gonna go see a movie and we'll be home. Don't worry." I make Demi laugh when I list the things I'm not doing.

"…Alright. Alright. But you know Nick's cursing your name right now, right? Poor kid is so mad…" I forgot all about Nick…

"Tell him that it's just a friendly thing. It's nothing like that. I went in her room to check on her because she seemed upset, and she told me she wanted to get away for a little bit. It's friendly. It's nothing like that." I tell a few little white lies to get him to get Nick off my case.

"Alright, Joe. Have her home soon. Me and Dani are gonna take a trip to the hospital, so we might not be home when you get there."

"Hospital? What for? Dani okay?" Demi wanders off over to a nearby pelican. I think she thinks the conversation is getting too personal for her to hear. I don't mind if she hears this.

"Yeah, yeah. Dani's okay. She's just having a little bit of bad stomach pains. It's probably indigestion, because she laid down right after she ate, but we're gonna go and make sure. You know how she feels about Cadence…."

"Yeah. Call me if anything goes wrong, bro. Tell Dani I'm thinking about her." I really hope nothing's wrong with my little nephew. We're all anxious to meet him, and it would crush everyone if something ended up to be wrong with the baby. I hang up the phone and walk towards Demi. She's busy throwing pieces of a stick of gum at a seagull and a pelican.

"…You have anything else to feed them?" She says sweetly. She's such a sweetheart. I check my pockets for her. I don't have anything besides a single orange Tic-Tac and a roll of Alka-Seltzer tablets in my pocket. "…I got a Tic-Tac and some Alka-Seltzer." I peel back the roll of Alka-Seltzer and hand Demi a single white tablet.

She takes it from my hand. "I feel a little bad. They probably don't eat much…" She breaks the tablet in half and feeds the bigger half to the seagull. The bird takes it gingerly from her hand and eats it. Demi's so sweet.

She stands up and walks over to me. "Okay, we can leave now." Just as she turns her back, a semi-loud POP! sounds behind her. I just watched that seagull blow up. Literally… it blew up. Demi turns around quick, her jaw unhinged and hanging open in astonishment. "Oh my god! I killed it!"

I can't help but laugh. Seeing that happen dead in front of me was actually funny, but really fucked up. Oh my god, I can't believe I just watched that.

"It's not funny! I killed it! It blew up!"

I give her an awkward hug. "You didn't know it'd blow up… I didn't know it'd blow up…" I shake my head. "That was really some weird shit…"

"I KILLED IT! IT DIED, CAUSE OF ME!" She's not crying, but she seems really upset about it. "It never did anything to anybody and I killed it…"

"Demi, it's okay…" I cradle her beautiful face in my hands. "It's okay… it's okay… you didn't kill it on purpose…" I kiss her cheek. "It's okay…"

I wonder why she's so upset…

* * *

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"It's gonna be alright babe… whatever it is, we'll power through it. We'll be alright baby." I hold Danielle's hand as she lies on the hospital bed with a fetal monitor on her stomach. The doctor doesn't seem too concerned, but there is no such thing as talking Danielle down. She's worried and I can't calm her down. I guess I'd rather her be this worried than have her not care like she did before.

"I just don't want anything to be wrong…" She wipes her eyes hastily and folds her hands over the monitor. "I just don't want anything to be wrong. I want him to be healthy. If I'm gonna have a baby, I want it to be healthy."

"And he will be, babe. He will be. It's normal to have pains during pregnancy. It's normal… nothing is wrong." I play with her fingers, because that usually calms her down. She's a little less than four months pregnant, and her stomach is still very near flat. That'll probably be a problem in the doctor's eyes.

"What do you think's gonna happen?" She says, worriedly. I wish I could just take all her worries away. I know this baby is going to be alright. As long as she's not having any heavy bleeding, the baby will be perfect. I can't explain that to her though.

"I think the doctor's gonna tell you to go on stricter bed rest. You're probably not gonna be able to do anything. It's probably just pre-term contractions or something. They'll stop it and put you on full bed rest. That's what I think's gonna happen." I'm almost certain that that's what's gonna happen. I kiss Danielle's hand and stroke her fingers.

"…That doesn't sound too bad… that doesn't sound bad…" She breathes slowly. She hasn't been having any pains since we got here, which is a really good thing.

The old doctor comes storming in the room abruptly with a hard look on his face. He looks really… mean. But he's the best, that's why I hired him. "Between the uh… low weight gain and the early contractions… I want you on strict bed rest. In bed for at least 17 hours a day and lifting no more than ten pounds. I'm going to put a cap to keep the uterus from contracting and monitor for another hour before releasing you." He explains fast, as if our problems are nothing to him.

"Thank you." I say respectively and dismiss him from the room. He upsets Dani and I can't have that. She doesn't like him as a person, but she sure likes his resume. I feel the same way, so I try to interact with him as little as possible for us.

"What a nightmare he is." Dani rolls her eyes and huffs. "I'm not sure if I want him digging all around in my hoo-ha."

"I know, babe. But just think. It's for Cadence."

"Yeah, speaking of Cadence… I was thinking that we could think of different names for him if you want. I was reading the name book and I really liked Gabriel and Lorenzo. We should probably give him an Italian name, huh?" She rubs her fingertips along her stomach and sighs.

"Yeah… our parents were probably expecting us to name him something a little more Italian than 'Cadence.'" I shrug.

"…Have you been thinking of anything else? Like any other names?" She turns her head to me and asks.

"…Yeah. I kind of like Dominic. Or Angelo. Angel for short." I admit to her. I have been thinking of Italian names secretly. I know my parents were hoping that we changed the name from Cadence to something slightly more cultural.

"…I like Angelo. That could be okay." She pokes her lip out and whispers the name again as if she's testing it out. "…So what's Demi doing? I haven't talked to her in a little while… she wasn't home when we left. She out with Joe?"

"Yeah, she's out with Joe." I sigh and run my hands through my hair. "I don't even wanna talk about it… Joe pisses me off so much."

"Kevin, baby, maybe you need to just let it go. Like… maybe Nick and Joe would take care of her alright. Maybe you worry too much. You honestly think that if one of them made her feel uncomfortable that she wouldn't tell you? Her eighteenth birthday is tomorrow. She can handle herself…" She reaches over and rubs my back.

"…I hate to say it, but I think she likes Joe. And poor little Nick is just… distraught. It's a really screwed up situation, Dani. Demi likes Joe. Joe's about to get engaged and Nick likes Demi. Joe doesn't even think of Demi like that. It's just all messed up…"

"Well… I think you're missing something with the whole Joe/Demi thing. I think Joe likes her too. I see the way he looks at her. If he doesn't like her like that, then I'm just stupid. But he definitely looks at her like the sun shines out of her ass. I can tell… and I think that it's gonna be bad between Nick and Joe if Demi doesn't make her choice."

"She just doesn't need to date either one of them. She doesn't need them… she can't… she can't date either one of them."

"Kevin, she can do whatever she wants. I just don't want one of your brothers to get hurt in the process. And I have a feeling that it's gonna be Nick that gets hurt."

"…I really hope you're not right about this, Dani…" I sigh and realize that it's true. Demi likes Joe, clearly. And I can't stop that from happening.

I just hope Nick doesn't take it too hard.

But knowing Nick, he'll be fine. He bounces back pretty quick… usually.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

"So then he took me to McDonalds and let me eat… in the parking lot." I swallow some pieces of popcorn that I have chewed up in my mouth. "And after I ate everything… he just started to put the moves on me and stuff. And it happened SO fast. It's like… one minute I was in the front seat. The next minute in the back seat. Then my pants were off and his were too. And we just… did it." I take a sip of the Coke that Joe and I are sharing.

"…So you lost your virginity in the back seat of a car in a McDonald's parking lot?" He stuffs a couple more pieces of popcorn into his mouth and looks at me, turning down the radio station that the movie's audio is playing on.

"Yep." I nod. "And it hurt a hell of a lot. I thought I was gonna die. I really thought that he was gonna split me in half. I didn't cry though." I say proudly. I swallow another gulp of soda and look at him too. "So what about your first time? What was that like?"

He chuckles slightly. "…My first time having sex was with my first girlfriend named Paige. It was her first time too. It was in her bed and it lasted an hour and her dad came home after that. She broke up with me two weeks after we had sex, and I've been with Camilla ever since." He shrugs and continues to eat the popcorn.

"…What's she like? In bed, I mean." I ask. I'm just curious. He hesitates before he answers, so I apologize. "Sorry… you don't have to answer… I was just…"

"No, no. It's not too personal. I'm just trying to… think of how to phrase this." He scratches his head. "She's… um… she's WILD. In bed. She's a screamer… and she's…. pretty loud. She's just… wild. She scratches my back a lot."

"What are YOU like in bed?" I take another sip of the Coke. I'm gonna have to pee so bad. I can't believe what just came out of my mouth, though. Did I really just ask him that?

He laughs out loud, hard. "...I don't know. I'm not a minute-man, I'll tell you that. I like to go for about… two hours. Maybe two and half. And I love to be on top. Or in the back, either or. And I love ass." He laughs at that and so do I. He just said it so freely, no shame in his game.

"Ass?" I ask through my laugh.

"Mhm. I love it." He nods. "Especially the ones that jiggle. They're the most slappable. And they're so squeezable. Ass is definitely my thing." He nods some more.

I don't even have anything to say. I just laugh and keep laughing. Talking to Joe is just so funny.

"…So what are you like in bed, Demi?" He narrows his eyes and asks, playfully.

"I'm not like anything in bed. I had sex once… and it wasn't exactly an experience when I could tell what I'm like…" I run my hands through my hair and lick my lips. "I guess I'm tight. He said that when he went in. He told me that I was really tight. And he said I have…s…suckable… nipples." I laugh at remembering that. Come to think of it, my first boyfriend was an oddball. "But that's really about it…"

Out of nowhere, he leans in and kisses me roughly. His tongue in my mouth and his hands on my waist, rubbing at the rims of my sweatpants and fumbling with them as if he desperately wants them down. I kiss him back. This feels so right. I have tingly feelings racing all through the depths of my stomach, and I have this overwhelming feeling of being hot, down below. I can't explain what being horny feels like, but I know that's what I am. I want him. I know I do. I curl my hands all through his thick hair and kiss him back just as rough.

He pulls away from my lips and starts kissing my neck. "I wanna know what you're like…" He says, his voice interrupted by the hard kisses on my neck. "If you're tight… I wanna know…" He moves back to my lips and kisses me deeper.

"…I want you to know…" I kiss his neck too. Oh my god, I want him. I want him so bad. I want him like I've never wanted anyone before. And I can't have him. I want him in me. For two hours… three hours. Even four. I want him to be mine. I just want him in more ways than I ever thought imaginable.

He takes my bottom lip between his two lips and sucks on it. Jesus Christ. I feel my underwear get warm between my legs. I'm not clueless about sex… I know what it's supposed to be like. I've only had it once. I want it again. I want it with Joe. "Let me…" He whispers in my ear and puts his hand through the waistband of my sweatpants. I look down. His hand is wrist-deep between my legs. He keeps kissing my neck, working me below.

He uses his thumb and pulls the front of my thong open. He uses his index finger and his middle finger to part me open, grazing his fingertip along my clit. I bite my bottom lip, letting a slow whimper escape. He keeps kissing me on my neck, I'm sure he's left a hickey.

His middle finger teases and circles around my clit, making me wetter and wetter. "I want in…" He mumbles, his face in my neck whispering in my ear. Go in then. I'm letting you… go in. He turns his hand awkwardly between my legs and teases my clit with his thumb. It's just coming out of me. I pull away from him. It feels too good.

"Oh god…" I whisper. My leg begins to shake. He opens me up again and shoves his finger inside my wet, pulsating hole. I want way more than his fingers. While he slips and slides his long finger in and out of me, he moves his thumb fast and wildly across my clit, making me go crazy. "Oh god… oh god… ohh god…" I grab onto the handle of the car door and squeeze.

"He was right…" Joe kisses my lips and his own lips tug into a menacing smile. "You're real tight." He kisses me again.

"…Don't tell Kevin…" I beg him. I close my legs around his hand, stopping him. "Please don't tell Nick either…"

"…I would never. This is between us…" He kisses the top of my head. "Everything we do…. Is between us." He pulls his finger out of me and out of my pants. "It's nobody else's business."

"…Joe?" I look down. I'm ashamed of myself. I was weak. For that one moment of passion, I was weak. I'm so ashamed. How could I let this happen? How did I let it happen AGAIN? I feel the tears coming. "…I love you…. I think."

"Demi, don't—"

"I can't do this… anymore." I sniff. "I'm so confused…"

"Demi…."

"I hate myself so much." I sniff hard and just let the tears fall. Once I start, I can't stop. I'm hysterical. "Please don't hate me. Don't hate me, Oh god…" I take my glasses off and hold my chest. My heart hurts so bad. "I hate myself… I'm sorry."

"Demi, what's wrong?" He sounds a little choked up.

"I did it again… I did it again…" I rest my head against the airbag and sob uncontrollably. I can't catch my breath.

"Did what again, Demi? Tell me…" I feel his hand rest on my back.

"It wasn't supposed to be like this. It wasn't supposed to be like that… it wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to enjoy it… I was supposed to say no…" I won't stop crying. I won't stop running my mouth either. "I didn't want to do it… I didn't want to… but I didn't stop it…"

"You didn't want me to? Demi… I… I'm SO sorry… I'm sorry… I didn't know you didn't…."

"No, No!" I need to shut up. But I won't. "I didn't want him to and I said no…. I said no… I said no… but I still…. I still got… I was still wet. But I didn't want it. I wanted him to stop…. But he didn't… he didn't… and he told my mom that I did it. And he kept doing it and doing it and doing it and he wanted me to bleed but I wouldn't cause… cause I wasn't a virgin anymore and he called me nasty and a slut and I didn't want him to… but he did. And I didn't stop it. And I was wet… and I didn't scream… I just fucking cried like an idiot… and he hurt me. And he told my mom… and I didn't stop it…"

He's quiet for minutes on end. I shouldn't have just thrown that on him. Oh my god, I told Joe. I told him… I told Joe. He's gonna tell Kevin…

He leans over and takes me in his arms. And he holds me. Hard. And he rubs my hair and he rocks with me. He doesn't say anything. He just holds me. Sometimes, nothing is all you can say.


	19. Telling

**Joe's Point of View.**

I grip the steering wheel hard, trying to clear my thoughts of all the things I've just heard. I won't allow myself to grasp the magnitude of what Demi just told me. I don't want to think of it. I can't bear to think of it. On the other hand, I'm sort of beaming because of what I did to her tonight. I know it's not much, but it's something to me. I haven't fingered a girl since the very first time Camilla and I had sex, about two or so years ago. Fingering isn't much, but it's something to me; especially with Demi. I never even thought I was going to make out with her, let alone touch her down there.

Touching her made me think about a lot of things. The first thing I'm thinking of is the fact that she is indeed, really tight down there. I don't even know if I want to have sex with her, if I'm being honest. I'd love to actually do it. I'd enjoy it if we did it. But she is so tight, and I don't want to brag, but I'm not exactly small. I don't want to hurt her. She said she's only had sex once. I don't want to be the one to hurt her again. I just can't. But I'll just let time take its course with that.

On the other hand, I'm thinking about how much I care about this seventeen year old (eighteen in a little less than five days) girl. I think I'm falling in love with her. I'm not in love with her. I'm NOT in love with her. But I remember what it was like for me to fall in love with Camilla. And it felt exactly like this. The scary thing is, is that I feel stronger for Demi than I felt for Camilla in the beginning. It's tearing me apart to feel this way. It's like… I'm caught between wanting to pursue something with this girl I just met and wanting to marry the woman I've loved (or thought I've loved) for years.

I've been crying a lot lately. It's mainly whenever I think about how much I can't stand myself for even thinking about leaving Camilla. Then I cry some more when I think about how I can't imagine myself without Demi. I know what life was like before I met her. But I can't fathom going back to it. I just wish something would come out of the sky and tell me what the right thing to do is, because half of me thinks I should just give Camilla the ring and let Nick have Demi. But the other half of me thinks that I should pursue something with Demi and just see what comes of our relationship. I don't know what's the right thing to do.

I wipe the wet corners of my eyes and pull into the driveway to park the car. It's a little bit past 11:30, and I hope that everyone (especially Nick) is asleep. I don't feel like yelling at or defending myself tonight. I turn the car off and take the key out of the ignition. I look over at Demi. Her head is resting on the cushion of the seat and she looks like she's at rest. I don't want to wake her up. She needs to rest after how hard she sobbed. I open the door quietly and step out, shutting it softly, barely moving the car.

I walk over to her side and open her door, placing my hands gingerly on her waist and tugging her forward so she comes out of the car. Instinctively, she rests her head on my chest and remains asleep. I kick the car door shut with my foot and walk up the front steps to the door. Her skinny little legs sway with my movements. I use my freest hand and open up the front door. Kevin must have left it open for me. I kick the door shut again. I'll lock it later. I walk with Demi in my arms up the steps. Surprisingly, she has some weight to her. She looks so thin and tiny, it surprises me that she's actually a bit heavy. I push her bedroom door open with my butt and carry her in. I flick the light switch on with my elbow and lie her down on the bed.

She fidgets around when I lie her down, but stays asleep. I grab her flip flops and pull them off. The bottoms of her feet are soft and very pale. Her feet are small, her toes a little on the long side. I think they're perfect. I grab the rims of her sweatpants and pull them off too. She's lying slightly on her side, allowing me to see her butt through the little black thong she has on. I should change her fully. I'm not looking at her sexually, but I am examining her. I want to know her body. Every inch of her body, I want to know it.

I take the tiny black thong off her too. The triangular patch that's meant to hide her private is still slightly damp from the encounter in the car. She's even perfect there. I felt in the car that she was completely bald, but it's another thing to actually see it. It's a little paler than the rest of her body, little black prickly pieces of hair visible from the paleness. I notice the little brown beauty mark she has on the side of it too. I grab a clean pair of yellow underwear from her drawer and put them on her. I put the thong and the pair of sweatpants in her dirty clothes hamper. She sighs hard, comfortable.

I grab the bottom of her shirt and pull it up and over her head. I unclasp the little white bra she was wearing too. I don't look at her breasts. I'm not really interested in them. I pull a clean white t-shirt on her, pulling her flowy long hair out of the head-hole. I pull her covers back and put her legs in them, then finally pull the quilt up to her neck. "Night." I press a kiss to her temple and shut the light off. It's time for me to go to sleep too. It's been a hell of a day.

"…Why are you leaving? Don't leave…" Her small little voice calls to me through the darkness.

I turn back around. "You'll be okay without me for the night… just lie down." I whisper to her, trying to keep her calm. One thing I noticed about her is that she seems to fly off the handle pretty easy.

"No, Joe. Please come back… please come back." She sits up fast in the bed and begs me. She sounds scared or something. I should stay. "Don't leave me here… I can't sleep…"

"…Okay. Okay…" I walk in the room and shut the door behind myself. I take off my shirt and my jeans and climb into the bed with her. "I'm sorry… I'm here." I grab her and hold her tight. She rests her head on my chest and blows air out her nose. She grabs onto me, squeezing my back with her hands. "I'm not leaving…. I'm here." I rub her hair and keep her calm. "…I know what you're thinking… and it's not your fault… it's not your fault... for not stopping it…"

"…You don't know… it's all my fault… you don't know…" She whispers and shakes her head.

"Demi… listen to me." I rub her arms and her back. "That's not your fault. Things happen that are far beyond our reach. Things that we can't control, even if we tried. But we have to… let it go. And we have to stop… it's not your fault… I know what you're thinking, and it's not your fault…"

"How could you possibly know how I feel?"

"…Because when I was twelve…" I kiss her on the top of her head. I've never told anyone this before. Nobody knows this, except for my family. I haven't even told Camilla. It's just a part of my life that I don't like to revisit. "My mom was gonna have a baby. A girl, finally. The girl she always wanted. Her name was gonna be Bella, my mom picked the name early." I sigh. "And when she was a couple months pregnant, me, Nick and Kevin were all playing cops and robbers in the house on a rainy day. And I was the cop… Nick and Kevin the robbers. And we were running up the steps while my mom was coming down, and I made my mom fall. She only fell down about three steps, so we thought she was okay. But she wasn't. And there was no Bella…" I'm surprised that I'm not crying. "I blamed myself for that for a long time, Demi. A long time. But my mom told me that God had a plan for that. You know? And things happen that we can't control."

"But I could've controlled that… I still… I still got wet when he…" She sniffs and sighs.

"Demi, that's your body. Your body did that. It's a natural reaction. It doesn't mean that you wanted it…"

"…B…Bella would've been lucky. To have you guys… as a family." She whispers to me and stops holding me so tight. I think she's calming down. I just want her to be okay.

"I'm glad you think that. Sometimes I wonder what she'd look like. And sometimes I get really upset thinking about how bad my mom wanted a little girl. But then I remember that if God wanted Bella to be here, then Bella would be here." I keep rubbing her arms.

"Yeah…" She wipes her own eyes.

I have so many questions for her. Questions that I don't really want to ask, but I really want to know the answer to. I'll allow myself to just ask one. The one that's really bugging me. "…Was he your dad? A family friend?"

"Who?"

"The one who…"

"Oh." She hesitates. "No. Not my dad. Not a family friend. Neither one."

"..Okay." I want to ask her who, but I'm done for the night. "Let's go to sleep now. It's late."

She lets me go and lies down on her pillow. She reaches over and plugs her cell phone into her charger as I settle in for the night too.

"OOOH! WAIT. I FORGOT." She sits up abruptly again, anxious for some reason. She clears her throat and looks at me.

"Forgot what?" I sit up too.

"It's 12:00!" She exclaims. I know it's 12:00. What does that have to do with anything? She clears her throat hard one last time and takes a breath. _"Haaappy birthdaaay toooo youuuu. Haaappy birthdaaay to yoooou. Haaaappy birtthdayyy dear Joooooe. Haaappy birthdaaay toooo yoooou." _There's NO way she just sang happy birthday to me, and she made it sound incredibly beautiful. I want to marry her voice. That was beautiful.

"…Wow." I shake my head, looking at her in awe.

"Kevin told me your birthday was on the fifteenth… I remembered." She smiles at me, showing her pretty white teeth. "I wanted to be the first to sing you happy birthday."

"…Thank you… thank you." I go against my better judgment and give her a small kiss. "…Can I hear that again?"

She giggles. "…Just one more." She licks her lips and sings for me again. _"Haaaaappy biiiiirthday toooo youuuu. Haaaaaapy birthdaaaay to youuuuu. Haaaappy birthday dear Joooooe….. Haaaappy birthday too…. Yoouuuuu.."_

"I love your voice." I give her another kiss. This time, I put my tongue into her mouth and she pushes back with her own. I'm really wrong. I'm wrong. This is so wrong. But dammit, it feels right. And as long as it feels right, I'm just gonna let myself enjoy it.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

"**It's a sand dollar, Demi. Look…" He hands me a light brown circular chip with a star plastered in it. It's really cool. I've never seen one before… "If you keep it while I find you some more, I'll make you a necklace out of it." He puts his hands on my knees and scrapes the itchy sand off my legs. The way he looks at me with complete adoration tells me how he feels. I feel for him the exact same way. **

"**We should go tell Dallas… she might one a sand dollar necklace." I stand up and adjust my pink and yellow bathing suit. It's a one piece, because I'm fat. My thick dark brown hair rests in the middle of my back, tied back with a blue ponytail holder. I have to squint to see him, because my glasses are in the beach bag.**

"**Alright, come on. Let's go tell Dallas." He grabs me by my waist and hoists me on his hip. He's so tall and strong. My mom gets mad at him for picking me up sometimes, because I'm nine and I'm not a baby. But if he can pick my fat ass up, then he gets more points. He walks over to Dallas, his arms below my butt holding me on his hip.**

**Dallas is a bitch, for lack of better word. She didn't even want to come to beach. She wanted to go to a lake with her friends for the week but my mom said no. My mom said Dallas is a bitch because her period is coming but I think she's a bitch regardless. I'm not entirely too sure what a period is yet, but I know that I don't want one.**

**Dallas lies on her blue beach towel reading a Seventeen magazine with her headphones in her ears. "Dallas, look what daddy got me! Look what he found me!" I know she won't be interested, but it's worth a shot.**

"**That's nice." She grumbles, not even looking up. Daddy puts me down in the sand next to her. I want to be like my sister when I grow up, I think. I think I wanna be like Dallas. She's pretty and popular. She has a lot of friends and she has a boyfriend too. I look up to Dallas. Even when she's mean to me. And I don't look up to her because I'm shorter than her. I really admire her.**

"**Dallas, stop being a grouch!" Daddy pours a big bucket of water on Dallas and I laugh. Dallas is mad though.**

"**Eddie, you queer! You got my iPod WET! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Dallas stands up fast, her hair dripping wet, shaking off the little pink iPod daddy bought for her.**

"**Oh, shut up. If it breaks, I'll buy you a new one. Stop being a mean little sourpuss and have fun!" Daddy picks her up and throws her over his shoulder. I follow him while he walks to the water with Dallas kicking and screaming on his shoulder. Daddy goes deep enough in the water and throws Dallas in it. Finally, she laughs.**

"**Dad, I hate you!" She laughs and stands up as a wave crashes over her. Mommy walks to the shallow part with tons of ice cream cones in her hands. Her belly is big but she still wears a two piece. She has an excuse to be fat though. Maddie's in there. Maddie's coming next week, my mommy thinks. Daddy thinks mommy's a nutball though, because Maddie isn't due to come out for a while. **

"**Mommy got ice cream!" I yell at everyone. I run to get my own ice cream. I got strawberry. **

"**Here, baby." Mommy hands me my ice cream cone.**

"**I'm too fat to eat this." I say, still grabbing the ice cream cone off her.**

"**You're my perfect little Demi. Okay? You're not fat. You're chubby. And you're cute." Mommy hugs me but her fat belly gets in the way. Mommy always makes sure I know she loves me.**

**I love my family. Nothing could make me hate them.**

**Nothing in this world can make my life bad.**

**Nothing.**

…**..**

I wake up missing my family. I miss my mommy. I miss Dallas. I miss my dad.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Why is it that no matter how perfect someone's life is, how amazing something is going for them… something always has to come around and rock their world? Why is it that we can live the way you're supposed to live, without sin and with the ideal family you're supposed to have, but we can still be shit on in the end…

I sit up in the bed. Joe's already gone. He always gets up before me, to avoid us getting caught. Not to mention the fact that it's his birthday, so I'm sure he's with his family. I'll go downstairs in a minute. I want to call my mom and Dallas.

I grab my phone off the charger and dial Dallas's number. I know that it's 8:00 in the morning down in Texas, but I still want her to answer. The dream I had was unbearable. It wasn't a nightmare of any sorts. It just made me realize how much I want to be with my family. The Jonases are nice, but they're no substitute for the real thing.

The phone rings and rings and rings. Dallas doesn't answer it. I guess I understand why she didn't answer. She's asleep. She'll call me back though. She always does.

I get out of bed and pull on a pair of pajama pants. I wonder what everyone's doing. I'm always the last one up. I open the door to my bedroom and step out in the hallway. I smell the food cooking from downstairs. At least there's always something to eat around here. Mrs. Jonas is a fabulous cook. I walk with my head down, staring at the ground. I'm still a little tired.

Just before I pick my head up, I bump into something hard. I snap my head up quickly. It's Joe. His face is covered in white frosting and his hands are all messy too. "Woah. Walk much?" He chuckles and puts his hands on me. I look up and smile at him.

"What happened to you? Birthday cake explode?" I giggle and can't fight my smile off. He makes me smile. I don't know why, but he just does.

"I wouldn't make fun of me if I were you!" He smears icing on my nose.

"JOE!" I smack his hands away and laugh. "Stop!"

He wipes his hand across my mouth and laughs some more. "My mom put icing on my pancakes… and Kevin shoved my face in it. We had an icing fight…"

I lick my lips. "I'm glad I missed it!" I wipe my face from the icing he put on me.

"…Here, let me." He says softly. I think he's just gonna use his hands to wipe off my face, but I'm wrong. Instead, he leans in and gives me a kiss. He places his hand under my chin and kisses me. His mouth tastes like frosting. I keep kissing him and he holds me on my lower back.

I don't want to stop kissing him.

* * *

**Nick's Point of View.**

I open up the door to my bedroom and peek outside in the hall. And I see it. I see them, rather. He's holding her close to his body by his waist. And he's kissing her. Not just the usual kiss, either. The kind of kiss that suggests that they're serious about each other.

Joe shouldn't be getting serious about anyone. He's damn near engaged. This is bullshit.

Why does he have to do this to me? I've NEVER felt this way about a girl before, and Joe knows that. Why does he do this? I know it's not right to call dibs on a girl, but I really did have her and see her first. It's not exactly dibs, it's just the fact that I expected my brother to respect the fact that I liked this girl and he swooped in and took her away. This sucks.

I don't want to exact revenge on Joe. But it's only fair, right? It's only fair to do what I'm about to do.

I shut the door, a tear in my eye. I refuse to cry though. I'm not gonna cry about it, no matter how badly it really hurts. I grab my phone off my dresser and scroll through my contacts to find the number. I'm telling. I have to tell. It's only fair that I tell.

I tap the contact and press "call." I hold the ringing phone up to my ear. It rings and rings and rings. I wait it out. She has my number, I've called her before whenever Joe's phone was off and he had to use mine. Finally, she answers.

"Hello?" She sounds perky and happy. She's expecting this to be Joe. I don't want to make her sad, but she needs to know.

"Hey, Camilla… it's me, Nick…"


	20. Oh No

**Joe's Point of View.**

"Joe, Camilla said you need to call her." Nick finally comes downstairs and sits by Danielle at the kitchen table. I'm surprised he didn't take the empty seat next to Demi, but Demi manages to look uninterested in anything going on around her with her face in her phone, texting.

"When'd you talk to her?" I pour myself a glass of orange juice and take the seat next to Demi that I was expecting him to take. Mom is busy whipping up another batch of pancakes to make up for the ones that me and Kevin destroyed during our food fight. Dad is helping her out by frying the bacon.

"A couple minutes ago. She said she called you twice but you didn't answer, so she called my phone and asked me to tell you." He grabs the bottle of syrup of puts it near the middle of the table. Nick is lying, I can tell. I always know when he's lying, because his voice gets all high pitched and he tries to act like he's NOT lying. I can tell that he's lying. But I'm not sure what exactly he's lying about.

"Alright, I'll call her. She's supposed to come over today or something." I mumble and play with the red cap on the syrup bottle. I don't really want to call Camilla. It's so hard to face her when I know about the things I've been doing with Demi. "Let me call her real quick." I speak up and push my chair out from the table. I grab my cell phone and stand up.

It is kind of weird to sit next to Demi at the table and act like we didn't do anything in the car last night. I know it was just fingering. It's really nothing major, but it still is weird. It's weird because I'm basically acting like I don't know what she feels like down there. Like I don't know what she looks like. Like I haven't put one of my fingers inside of her. It's weird to act like all of that didn't happen.

I walk into the sitting room and plop down on the couch. I call Camilla, because I'd be a lot more rude if I didn't do it. I'd feel worse about myself than I already do if I didn't call her. I hold the phone to my ear and sigh. I have a lot to worry about right now. Like if I'm gonna give her the ring or not.

"Hey baby. I was just thinking about you. Happy birthday, love." She says cheerfully. I sigh. I'm just not feeling her anymore. I feel so bad, but…

"Thanks… Nick said you wanted me to call you? What's up?" I rub my growing facial hair. I need to shave again. I make a mental note to do that sometime soon. My mom hates me having a beard.

"Oh, I was just wondering if I can come over and give you your birthday present… because I know your mom and dad are gonna take you out later like they always do… so I need my me time…"

"Uhh… sure. Yeah. You can come on over now… we're going out to dinner later on." I stand up from the couch and pace around the room. She's gonna want to have birthday sex. I don't really want to. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE sex. I love sex a lot. But I'd rather be having birthday sex with someone else, if you know what I mean.

"Alright. I'll be over soon." She sounds so happy as she hangs up. I really should break it off with her. I'm gonna break it off with her. I can't keep doing this. I just can't. I have to break it off with either her or Demi. I don't want to be the guy that plays them both. That's just not who I am.

I stick my phone in my pajama pants pocket and walk back into the kitchen. Demi's gone. Her chair is empty, but a full plate of food is sitting at her spot. "Where'd Demi go?" I realize that I don't like it when she's somewhere that I don't know where she is. I don't like that at all.

"She had to go to the bathroom." Kevin says.

"Oh… well Camilla's coming over now, because I won't be able to see her later… so I'm gonna go upstairs to my room. Nobody come up there for a while." I grab my breakfast plate and clear it off for my mom to wash it later.

"Oooooh…. Make sure your door is shut… and locked. And don't be too damn loud." Danielle rolls her eyes and pokes fun of me.

"We'll be quiet." I fake laugh and head up the steps. I noticed that Nick hasn't really been talking to me. He has every right to be pissed off and angry with me, but he shouldn't know about anything important. The only thing he could be mad at me for is fingering Demi, and he shouldn't even know about that. Unless she told him, but I doubt she did.

I go straight to my room and start cleaning it up. I don't need to change my sheets, simply because it's been so long since I've actually slept in my bed. I've been sleeping in Demi's bed for a really long time now. I check in my sock drawer and make sure I have condoms. I hardly ever have sex with Camilla raw. I always have a condom on. It's not because I don't trust her or anything, it's just because I don't want any kids.

I grab one silver packet of a condom from my drawer and throw it on my bed. The doorbell rings. She sure didn't waste any time getting over here. I run down the steps fast and let her in. I'm just ready to get this over and done.

"Hi babe." She gives me a real big hug and a super deep kiss. She never kisses me like this except for after we fight. I suck it up and kiss her back. I'm just so ready for this to be over. But if I tell her that I don't want to have sex with her, she'll definitely figure that something's up. So, sex it is.

I gotta figure out the right way to break it off with her.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

"Why don't you find something really pretty to wear for tonight? And I'll curl your hair up real pretty… would you like that?" Mrs. Jonas collects my plate. Somehow, I managed to be the only one sitting at the table. Being alone with Mrs. Jonas isn't as nerve-wracking as it seems.

"…What's tonight?" I know it's Joe's birthday and all, but I'm still wondering why I have to dress pretty. I stand up and help her out with the dishes, because I feel better if I do. I used to help my mom with the dishes all the time.

"We always go out to eat on birthdays. And we go to this really nice restaurant. You have to dress nicely, because it's a formal place. All my boys wear their suits and Danielle gets all dolled up in her dress. It's just a real nice restaurant." She loads up the dishwasher and closes it.

"Oh… I don't have any dresses…" I dry my hands on my pants and step away from the sink.

"Why don't you go ask Danielle to find you one of her old dresses? Tell her to let you wear the little pink one. She'll know what I'm talking about."

"…Okay." I turn around and walk up the steps. I've never really had to dress up, except for my mom's wedding. I guess I'm kind of excited to dress up. I wonder what the pink dress looks like. Joe's gonna think I'm pretty. Speaking of Joe, where is he?

I walk upstairs to Danielle and Kevin's room. I knock twice. If Danielle can make me as pretty as she is, I'll do anything.

"Yes, Demi?" Dani opens up the door. She's only wearing her bra and a pair of shorts. Her stomach is kind of big. She doesn't even look that big when she's wearing clothes. She looks thin in clothes. Her baby bump is cute though.

"Um… Denise told me to ask you if I can wear your little pink dress tonight… whatever that is."

"Oh!... yeah. Come in." She steps aside and lets me in the room. Kevin is laying down on the bed, acting like he's sleeping. Or maybe he really is sleeping. Who knows? Danielle walks over to her giant walk in closet and goes right in. "You have to try it on first.. it might be a little big on you in the boob area."

I giggle. "It might be a lot big on me in the boob area. Your boobs are huge. Mine are super small…" I sit down on the bed, careful not to wake Kevin up.

"I'd rather have small boobs." She laughs and brings out a hanger from the closet. On the hanger, there is a very pretty hot pink dress. It's really bright pink, and it's short. It has a lot of shimmery crystals on it around the boob area and after the boob area, it's plain pink with ruffles. It's a really pretty dress. I can't see myself in it though. It's too pretty for me. "What size are you in dresses?"

"…I don't know." I shake my head. "I don't even know what size I am in jeans." I touch the material on the dress. It's soft and silky. I'm in love with this dress, oh my goodness.

"You have a whole lot of ass back there." She says, going back into the closet to grab more dresses for me to try on. "I'm not worried about you fitting them in the bottom, I'm just worried about the top. You have enough ass to go around." She brings out a pair of pink heels. "What size are your feet?"

"Sevens." I cross my legs. I can't wait for Joe to see me in this dress. He's gonna think I'm sooo pretty. And Denise is gonna curl my hair up. I'm gonna look pretty for him. "Is he sleeping?" I ask her. I want to tell Danielle about me and Joe. I know she won't tell anyone, and I want to know what she thinks of it.

"Yeah, he's sleep. He was up real late last night." She throws down the pink heels and goes over to her jewelry box. "Why?"

"…I have a couple things to tell you…"

"First of all, let ME ask YOU something." She kneels down and starts messing with my feet, trying to put the heels on me. "What is it with you and Joe? Is that a thing with you guys or is it just friendly? Because it sure seems like a thing…"

"That's what I want to talk to you about." I watch her struggle trying to get the heels on my feet. I help her out by wiggling my foot. "It's… kind of a thing. I don't know what to call it…" I run my hands through my hair. "We sleep together every night… and he took me out yesterday… but he still has a girlfriend."

"Well, yeah. But Camilla's a bitch. Everyone around Joe sees that except him." She takes the shoes off once she's sure they fit me and starts to paint my toenails pink to match my outfit. "But, do you think that you and Joe are serious?"

"No… that's just the thing. I want to be serious with him, but I know he can't be. And I feel bad because I started out with Nick, you know?" I watch her paint my toes.

"Well you should just tell Nick. Be like 'Hey. Sorry it didn't work out between us but I still wanna be your friend.' Things like that. But I don't recommend you to still be messing with Joe. He has a bitchy girlfriend to worry about."

"Yeah, I know. It just sucks because… you know…I really like him and all but it's like he's not allowed to like me back."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I think Joe likes you too, more than you think he does. It's just that he's confused." She finishes painting my toes. "All done."

I look down and check out my new pedicure. I love it. It's pretty. "…I'm gonna go see Joe. Maybe he'll tell me what he thinks of me in the dress. Thanks, Dani." I grab the dress and get off the bed. I can't wait to try the dress on and show Joe if it fits right.

"Anytime, Demi." Danielle screws the cap back on her nail polish and puts it back.

I leave the room and go down the hall to my room. I want to take a shower and shave my legs and stuff before I put the dress on. I can't wait to see what Joe thinks.

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

"So, why did Nick tell me that you were kissing on that little girl?" Camilla asks me when she's up for a breath. I hate when she does this, but I can't resist. She knows how much I love head, so anytime she wants to get something out of me or she wants me to get her something, she'll ask me while she's giving me head. I won't sell Demi out though. No matter how good this feels.

"H…He told you what?" I put my hands behind my head and let her do her work. She strokes me up and down with her tongue.

She makes a sucking noise coming off it this time. "Mmm… he told me that you were kissing her." She puts me back in her mouth, deepthroat. She gags on it and spits. "That true?"

"N…nah. I w…wasn't…" Shit. She's gonna make me bust. I shouldn't lie to her about it. I shouldn't lie to her. I kissed Demi. I kissed Demi a lot. And I sleep with her and I'm GOING to have sex with her. Damn… Damn…. She knows how much I love it when she lightly drags her teeth across it. I don't want to tell her and hurt her feelings.

"Mmm… okay." She rubs my lower stomach as she takes all of me into her mouth. "I love you baby…" She stops sucking on it and starts jerking me off wildly. Ugh. She gotta stop… "If you were kissing her, you should tell me." She gives the tip a soft kiss. I'm so fucking hard.

"….It didn't mean nothin'." I grunt. I'm gonna cum. I can NEVER keep my mouth shut when she's doing this. It's blackmail, really.

"Oh… so you did kiss her?" She stops jerking me off. "What else did you do with her?"

"Nothing. Just kiss…"

"Hmmm… okay." She spits on my shaft and starts sucking again.

"I just fingered her." I mumble. Damn. I just told… I just told… and I'm about to cum.

"YOU WHAT?" She stops abruptly. I couldn't have said it at a worse time. That was such bad timing…

Suddenly, the door to my bedroom opens. I must not have locked it. Demi comes rushing in, her beautiful smile spread all across her face, looking happy as can be. "Hey, Joe I just…" Her face goes from cheerful, happy to see me. To completely in a state of shock and somewhat disappointment.

Demi had even worse timing than Camilla.

"…I'm sorry." She backs out fast, tears gleaming in her big brown eyes.

"GET HER BACK IN HERE!" Camilla screams and gets up from the bed, pulling her clothes back on in the process. Oh no…

Oh no… Demi.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

I've never been so hurt in my entire life. I mean, I obviously have been hurt before. But this is a new kind of hurt. My stomach hurts and my heart is aching. I've never felt this bad before… ever. I wish I would've known that he was in there with her. I would have NEVER came in. EVER.

"DEMI!" I hear Joe calling me from down the hall. Well, I guess on the plus side, his girlfriend doesn't know anything about us. I just wish I didn't have to see that. I hate this. I hate loving someone that I can't have. I guess what sucks the most is that I really thought that he might dump her for me. Wishful thinking though.

Did anything mean anything to him? The night we spent together, the times we kiss and sleep together. Does that mean nothing to him? Nothing at all?

"DEMI COME BACK!"

I stop in my tracks. Should I go back? I should further apologize. The least I can do is see what he wants… right? I guess I'll go back. I haven't cried yet, so that's a plus. I'll go back.

I turn around and walk back toward his room. I'm just glad his girlfriend doesn't know… what we've done and what we do.

"What?" I stand back in the doorway, my legs shaking uncontrollably. I want to cry, but I won't give his girlfriend the satisfaction.

"WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" His girlfriend SCREAMS at me. I've never been screamed at like that. Look, chick. I said sorry. All I did was walk in on you.

"…I said.. sorry…" I put my hands out to let her know that I really am sorry for this. "If I had known, I wouldn't have…."

"JOE YOU BETTER GET HER BEFORE I—" Why the fuck is she threatening me?

"Camilla, just hush. It's not… what you think it is.. I swear…"

"SHE THINKS SHE HAS SOME KIND OF THING WITH YOU BECAUSE YOU GUYS DID THAT? SHE SHOULD STILL FUCKING KNOCK!"

"….Joe what is she talking about?" I think he told her… he better not have told her. He BETTER not have told her.

"I'M TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE BASICALLY FUCKING MY BOYFRIEND."

"Woah! Get a grip! I didn't—" I don't even get a chance to finish my sentence before I just see a fist flying, and the fist connects with my face. Dead in my nose. I hear a weird "crunch" sound, and my nose feels full all of a sudden. What the…

"CAMILLA!" Joe screams at her and grabs her away from me. I part my lips slightly and taste the warm, salty blood. Did she just… hit me?

I'm done. I'm so done. He told her…

He said he wouldn't tell.


	21. Stay

**Joe's Point of View.**

"Camilla, leave her alone! You don't know what you're talking about!" I grab Camilla by her arms and push her away from Demi. I'm beyond pissed. I can't believe she just hit Demi. I glance over at Demi, shooting her a look basically telling her to leave out of here. I gotta calm Camilla down and get her to leave before I can tend to Demi. She has deep red blood dripping down all over her beautiful face, onto her bright lime green shirt and just barely missing a sparkly piece of hot pink cloth in her hands. "Get outta here, Demi."

"….NO! SHE FUCKING HIT ME!" Demi screams in a way that I have NEVER heard her scream before. Her voice isn't my sweet little Demi's voice anymore. Her voice is almost demonic. "SHE HIT ME!" She charges after Camilla, violently thrashing her right arm and right leg at Camilla, her fist connecting with the left side of Camilla's face. "LET HER GO! LET HER GO, SHE FUCKING HIT ME!"

"DO SOMETHING! DO SOMETHING!" Camilla screams back at Demi, desperately trying to break my hold. I throw Camilla down on my bed like a burlap sack to give her a moment to calm down. These two are literally AT each other's throats.

"GET OUT OF HERE, DEMI. GO CALM DOWN." I swat my hand away at her. "GET OUTTA HERE!"

Demi turns around quickly and leaves out of the room. Finally. All I wanted was for them two to separate and calm down. Now that Demi's gone, I can focus on Camilla.

"…You're real fucked up, Camilla. Real fucked up. You didn't even need to hit her. You were just trying to show the fuck off. You know what…" I shake my head. "This is it. I'm done. You did NOT need to hit her… you didn't. You're fucked up Camilla. Fucked up. I'm done. It's over."

Camilla flings her long brown hair over her shoulder and sighs. "What do you expect me to do, Joe?! I love you! I love you, and you're messing around with her! You're MY boyfriend! How do you expect me to react?!"

"NOT HIT HER! I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO PUNCH HER! What's your problem?!" All of a sudden, Demi comes back in the room. She seems calmer this time around. Her hair is tied up in a messy bun and she's wearing a sports bra and a pair of sweatpants. Her face is cleaned up with the exception of a bit of dried blood around her nostrils. I just look at her. She's in here for something.

"I'm gonna give you five fucking seconds to square up… square up or I'm gonna fight you sitting down. Whichever you choose. You can square up, fight me and get your ass kicked. Or you can sit down and get your ass kicked. Whichever you choose. But we're GOING to fight." She stands in front of Camilla with her hands on her hips. She has such a nice body, my god.

"Demi, go… just go…." I stand in front of her and try to stop it.

"Joe, she HIT me. Do you see my face? Do you see my nose? She hit me. And that's not gonna fly. She HIT me. So she can square up and fight me fairly, or she can stay where she's at. Frankly, you can stay where you're at too… I don't give a damn."

Camilla stands up fast, and all in one motion, she pushes me to the side, grabs Demi by her bun and pulls her down on the bed with her. Maybe Camilla isn't the one I needed to be holding back…

I can't break them up myself. Neither one of them are winning, they're both neck in neck. Camilla is punching Demi in the back and Demi has Camilla by her hair, punching her in the face. I grab Demi and pull her away. "STOP! YOU TWO NEED TO STOP, DAMMIT! KEVIN! GET IN HERE!" I have to call for backup, these two are just too vicious.

"I'LL FUCKIN' KILL YOU! I'LL KILL YOU!" One of them is screaming, I'm not sure which one. They're both pretty loud, screaming at each other and yelling like they have no sense. I can't break up a girl fight by myself.

Right on call, Kevin races in the room. "What— Oh shit!" Kevin grabs Demi away and forces me to grab Camilla. We both pull them apart. Camilla's lip is all busted, and both Demi's eyes are blacked underneath, but I think that's from when Camilla snuck her.

"I'm still pretty, bitch! I'm still pretty!" Camilla screams at Demi. Demi's not saying anything in Kevin's arms. She's just trying really hard to get out of his arms and back to Camilla. He drags her out of the room though.

Some birthday.

"…Camilla, look…" I put my head down and sigh. This is actually really fucking tough. "….What… what we had WAS special… but… I mean… it's just… time. To stop holding on. And I'm out of love with you, I'm sorry. I just… need you to go now." I take a deep breath. I'm really sorry that it all had to end this way. I am sorry. I just wanted to break it off with her… I didn't want all this stuff to happen too. This birthday really sucks.

"…I love you, Joe. I just thought I should let you know that…" She looks at me with tears in her eyes. I feel so bad. But I'm just not in love with her anymore. And I don't want to force it. I'm not a jerk. I don't like making girls cry. I hate this.

Without another word, Camilla gets up, wipes her bloody lip and heads out of the room. I doubt this is the last time I'll ever see her, but it really hurts. Damn this sucks. I pick up my TV remote and throw it with a grunt, sit down on my bed and finally cry. I feel like such a worthless dope. None of this is making sense to me. I hate this. I hate this. I hate ME.

I put my face in my pillow and just cry. I just don't know what to do. I don't know…I thought breaking it off with Camilla would make me feel better, but it doesn't. It just makes me realize how confused and how much I suck. Nick's mad at me, Camilla probably hates me. Everyone thinks that I'm a giant douchebag, but it's not true. I just don't know what else to do. I don't want to love Demi, but I think I do. I just wish I could go back to life before Demi. Life when I wasn't so confused as to what to do. Life when I actually knew that I wanted. I don't know anymore. I'm just sorry. I sniff and wipe my face.

This birthday sucks.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

"What happened upstairs, Demi? What happened to your face?" Mrs. Jonas kneels in front of me as I sit down in a kitchen chair. She reminds me so much of my own mother, with the way she's so gentle and loving with me. "Joe's girlfriend do it?" She dips a q-tip in peroxide and gently sticks it up my nose. It hurts like hell.

"Nobody told me that Joe and his girlfriend were upstairs doing… it." I fold my hands on my lap and swing my feet. "So I accidentally walked in on them in the bed, and she got all mad and started cussing at me and stuff." She puts her hand under my chin to lift my head up a little. She sticks another q-tip up my nose and pulls the old one back bloody. "And we were arguing and stuff and she just punched me. So I… just reacted. And I wanted to hit her back."

"I'm just glad you at least tried to defend yourself." She cleans up the bloody q-tips and throws them away. "There's a little bit that's not making sense to me, though." She sits back down in front of me. "Why did Camilla feel the need to hit you? Why was she jealous?... is there something going on between you and Joe?"

I look down and pick with my nails. I really hope she won't be mad at me. "…Kind of…" I put my thumb in my mouth and chew on my nail. "I…I mean…"

"Demi, it's okay. We all kind of know what's going on between you and Joe. I was just waiting for one of you to admit it. We all know where he's at if he's not in his room at night. I, as his mother see the way he looks at you. He likes you. And you like him." She holds my hands despite my wet-from-saliva thumb.

"…You guys know?... I'm sorry…" I look away. Surely, she's gonna be mad at me. She knew about what was happening between me and Nick. Now she knows about what's happening between me and Joe. I wouldn't be surprised if she kicked me out. I'd kick me out too. I really would.

"Why are you sorry, Demi? What are you sorry for?" She stands up and gives me an awkward hug, putting her arms around my neck and letting my head rest on her stomach. "There's no reason to be sorry for it. I just wish it didn't come to blows between you and Camilla, but I always knew that Camilla was insanely jealous." She rubs my back. She really reminds me of my mom. "I have something I want to ask you, Demi…"

"Yeah? Anything…" I rest my head on her. It's been a while since I've been touched by a mother. I could really use a mother's touch. My mom used to scratch my head while I lay on her lap at night.

"…Would you like to stay here? Permanently?" She rubs my back and rocks with me. My mom used to do this. I wish my mom was here…

"…Mrs. Jonas… y…you are… so… nice. I'm… so glad you're all being so nice to me. But I can't stay here… I can't. It's… not safe." I'd love to stay with the Jonases, but there are so many reasons why I can't. Firstly, my mom is coming to get me. I don't know how long her, Dallas and Maddie are gonna be, but they're definitely coming. Secondly, I can't bring the outside in here. It's almost as if I'm safe from the world within the four walls of this house. It's like the outside can't get me in here. But the cruel, sad, honest truth is that I'm no safer in here than I would be out on the streets. And that's the truth.

"Demi, there is no safer place in his world for you… than right here with us. Please stay…"

"…Mrs. Jonas… I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't…" I apologize.

"…I won't force you. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. But please remember that… if you EVER need a place to be… you're always welcome here. And if you change your mind about living here permanently, we always have a guest bedroom." She looks really disappointed. I feel bad, but I really just can't stay here permanently. I wouldn't like myself very much if I did.

She lets me go and kisses the top of my head again. "Why don't you go take a nap for a little while before we go out to eat. We all need to take a little rest." She lovingly plays with the long strands of my hair. "And don't worry… I'm gonna talk to Joe about Camilla…"

"Thanks…" I stand up. I really would like to stay with them, but I TRULY can't. I like it here, I do. But… it doesn't matter how much I like it here, I still can't put them in danger. I walk upstairs to my bedroom. I do wonder what Joe's doing, but I'm so mad at him right now that I don't exactly care. I'm so mad at him. But I need to know if he's okay.

I walk to Joe's room and knock on his door twice. I don't get an answer from him. Well, Camilla's not in there anymore. So I guess it's safe to walk in. I turn the knob and walk inside his room. I've never been in his room before. It's… nice in here.

The walls are all painted dark blue, and his bed spread is dark blue too. It's dark in here, but it's nice. It looks like Joe in here with the basketball posters and a poster of The Beatles. I step over the power cord to his PlayStation. He's lying in his bed with a pillow over his face. "…I didn't say come in." He mumbles through the pillow.

I sit down on his bed. "…I didn't ask to come in. I'm just making it known that I'm here." I grab the pillow and pull it off his face. His face is all red and his eyes are a little puffy. He's been crying. "…What's going on?"

"Go away, Demi. I'm a mess." He sniffs and wipes his face.

"…You comfort me when I'm sad…" I scoot up on the bed so that I'm next to him. "My turn to comfort you." I grab him by his shoulders and put him on my chest. He's heavy, but I still hold him. He holds me while I cry. It's only fair if I hold him while he's upset.

"…I'm so sorry Demi. I didn't know she'd hit you. I didn't know… I broke up with her… I did… I'm sorry…" He sniffs and cries into my chest.

"Hey….Hey hey hey…." I quiet him down and rub his back. "It's alright…it's alright." I kiss his head. "It's okay, Joe. It's okay…"

"No, Demi. It's not okay… She hit you. I didn't mean for it to go that far." He sniffs again. "Look at your face…. Your beautiful little face…"

"Joe… I'm okay. I'm okay. Calm down baby… calm down." I rub his back some more. "It's okay baby…"

"….I'm your baby? Why you calling me baby?" He wipes his eyes again.

"…Yeah. You're my baby." I smile so big I can feel my dimples coming out. "We can be each other's babies…" I rub his back and rock with him some more.

"…I like the sound of that." He smiles and lies on my chest comfortably. I rub his back some more.

"So did you really break up with her or are you just saying that to appease me?" I run my hands through his crop-cut hair and stare at him. I've never had a real boyfriend before. So I'm not sure why it comes so naturally to me to hold him and stuff. I just feel right.

"I really broke up with her." He leans in and kisses me on my lips. "…So now maybe we can be together… for real." He kisses my cheek and back to my lips again.

I smile big again. I hate my smile. It's always been so huge and face eating. I don't think it's attractive at all. "…Go to sleep Joe. We should take a nap…"

"Okay."

He holds me like we always hold each other to sleep. I'm not sure if I'm happy or upset that he broke up with Camilla. I'm happy because I don't have to sneak around and feel so bad about doing things with Joe. But upset because I know how much he once has loved her. It's bittersweet.

Joe topples his head on top of mine and closes his eyes. I close my eyes too. I feel like I've been awake for a full day, but I've only been awake for a few hours. What a few hours it's been. I've been punched, asked to stay, in a fist fight and just downright happy with what he's done to his relationship.

I feel really bad for Camilla. Bad, because she actually had Joe. And she lost him. I'm kind of glad that now Joe's single, he could be mine. And if he's mine, I will NEVER let him go. There are so many reasons why I would love nothing more than to stay here with the Jonas family. I'd love to stay with Kevin, he saved my life. I'd love to eventually see Kevin and Danielle's baby, he's gonna be so cute. I'd love to see if Nick moves on, if he's not being a pig, he's actually a really nice guy. And I'd love to, of course, stay with Joe. Who knows… he might be my soulmate. He might be the one I'm gonna be with for the rest of my life.

I'd like to stay with the Jonases, because for the first time in a really long time, I can smile and not be faking it. I can lie down in bed at night and not have to worry about who's gonna sneak in to take my clothes off. I don't have to worry about someone wanting to have a quickie with me in the backseat of a car. I can just… be free. There are some things I'm missing in life, though. Some things that by the age of eighteen I should know about. For instance…

"…Joe?" I whisper. He's probably asleep, but it's worth a shot.

"…What?" He mumbles. His voice is gravelly like he was in the state of sleep where he was just about to fully drift off.

"…What's sex supposed to be like?" I ask. I really want to know. I rest my head in the crook of his neck and wait for his reply.

"Sex? …Sex is… supposed to…. Be special. It's supposed to be between two people that love each other. And two people that care about each other. It should be special. It should be… passionate." He whispers to me with a kiss on my forehead.

"….So you only have sex with people you love and care about?"

"I've never had sex with a girl that I didn't love and care about…"

"….Do you love and care about…" I hesitate before I say it. "…Me?"

"…Yes, Demi. I do." He kisses the top of my head. "Go to sleep…. Baby. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Kay." I sigh and close my eyes.

He loves and cares about me. I guess I can excuse the fact that he told. But I will question him about it later.

Now just doesn't seem like the right time.


	22. Days

**Demi's Point of View.**

"Both of your eyes are black. I think your nose might be a little… broken?" Danielle kneels down in front of me in her pretty yellow dress with a tube of pale pink lipstick. "Don't worry though. I'll put some concealer on the black parts, you won't even notice them." She drags the smooth lipstick across my lips with a steady hand. "You're so pretty, Demi."

"Thank you." I look up at the ceiling as she puts the lipstick on me. I don't feel pretty. I feel like shit. My nose is aching and it hurts to blink. Of course my nose is broken. I'm not even a doctor and I can tell. And if my nose isn't broken, then I don't ever want to break it with the pain I'm in right now. Danielle puts the lipstick down and starts putting tan stuff under my eyes and on the bridge of my nose.

"This shit works miracles." She screws the cap back on the liquid makeup and blends the bit she put on me in with my skin. "There we go. Now you can see your pretty face again." She grabs the chunks of my hair that Denise curled for me and frames my chest with them. "We gotta hurry up and get going. They're all waiting for us."

I stand up and help Danielle up too. She looks so pretty. Her dress is plain yellow and it's a high-low. High in the front, low in the back. A brown belt buckles around her waist with a giant white flower. She doesn't even look pregnant in the dress. Her hair is in a high ponytail with lengths of curly pieces falling out of it. She looks so….gorgeous. Everything I wish I could be.

I adjust my dress when I stand up. I didn't wear the sparkly pink one like I planned to. Instead, Danielle gave me another pink dress, a longer one. Longer, because I have big bruises on my knee from fighting Camilla. The dress I have on is a lighter pink, almost a peach color. It has rhinestone shoulders and a bunch of rhinestones on the waist area before it fades out to a flowy plain bottom. It's a really pretty dress. My hair really looks good with the light color.

I really can't wait for Joe to see me in this. I'm sure he'll think I look pretty. I kind of wonder when we'll be home tonight. I wonder, because I've decided that tonight is the night where I'll let Nick know that I'm sorry, but we can't be anything. Maybe I'll wait until tomorrow. Maybe I should talk to Joe about what he thinks I should do. I have to find out what Joe really wants out of this. Because if Joe doesn't want something serious, then I don't have to break it off with Nick. I'm just so confused.

I walk through the hallway, holding my dress up so I don't drag it and get it dirty. I take the steps one by one, careful in my high heels. I walk down behind Danielle. Kevin, Joe and Nick are all standing at the bottom of the steps dressed in their best.

Joe looks really handsome. He looks like he shaved, first of all. He's wearing a suit and his neatly cut hair is brushed down. His suit is black with a pink inside. I told him I was wearing pink. He must've matched it on purpose. It's not the same shade of pink. But it's pink.

As soon as I enter the room, Nick walks over to the door hastily. Did I do something wrong? Well, surely by now he knows that me and Joe have something going on. Maybe he's just mad about that. I really hope he doesn't hate me. I don't want him to hate me. I know what I did to him was bad. That was very wrong of me, and I'm sorry. But I can't help how I feel about Joe… I just can't.

Joe shoots Nick a hard look and walks over to me. "…You look beautiful." He holds my hand and kisses my fingers. It's not that I don't love him showing me affection, it's just that…. I wish he wouldn't. It makes me feel even worse about doing this to Nick. I wish I didn't feel so lousy about it. I push Joe away from me lightly. No PDA. Not around Nick, at least. "…What's the matter?"

"Nothing… I'm just… not feeling it right now. Let's get in the car." I let his hand go and follow Kevin outside. They have a little blue minivan too? How many cars do they have? Mr. Jonas is in the driver's seat. Mrs. Jonas is in the passenger seat and Nick is already sitting next to Frankie.

Kevin helps Danielle in the middle row of seats, leaving me and Joe to sit in the back row. Joe puts me in the car first. I hold my dress and climb in to the first window seat. Joe climbs in next to me and slides the door shut.

"Everybody in?" Mr. Jonas looks in the rearview mirror and asks. I nod my head as if he can hear me actually say yes.

"You guys have to show Demi what we do on long trips." Denise sounds so excited. What do they do? Whatever they do, I don't want to do it. My face hurts and I think I have hives on my arms. "Especially since she's a good little singer. You guys have to show her." She tampers with the radio and turns the volume up. "If we're going on long trips, the kids usually sing for us in the back. The boys are actually pretty good together. Maybe you can add something to them. Will you sing, Demi?"

I don't want to sing. I have hives. "…Um… I don't… really want to." I lean forward and tap Kevin on the back so that he looks at me. He turns his head. I mouth to him, "I don't want to."

"…We'll sing for you mom. And if Demi feels up to it, she can just join us later." He breaks the news to her in a nicer way than I could have. Denise seems fine with it. She just turns the radio way up and lets the music play.

I don't like to sing for an audience. I don't know how many times I have to tell them that. And there are waaaay too many people in this car. I'm not singing. No way. Even though I know the song they're singing, I'm not singing along. I like this song, though.

Joe reaches over and squeezes my hand as he jumps in to the part that's already playing, mid-first verse. "I know I should've treated you bet-ter. But me and you were meant to last forev-er. So let me in, give me another chance to really be a man." Oooh. Joe has a nice singing voice. How come he never told me this?

"Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out I just didn't know what to do." Oh my gosh, Kevin can sing too? How come HE never told me?! Nobody tells me ANYTHING.

"But when I become a star, we'll be livin' so large I'll do aaanything for youuu. So tell me girl…" I already knew that Nick could sing. He might be the best singer out of the boys. The little one doesn't say anything. He seems to just be the one that goes with the flow. Nobody sings the "mmmm whatcha say" part. I guess I can see why. That part is all girls singing, and we ALL know that Danielle doesn't sing much else than her Atomic Kitten CD.

When the girl part is over, Joe picks up again. "How can I live with myself, knowing that I let our love go?"

"And who would I do with one chance, I just gotta let you knoooooow." The cycle starts over again as Kevin picks up where Joe left off.

"I know what I did wasn't clever. But me and you were meant to be together. So let me in, give me another chance to really be a man." I guess the coolest part about the boys singing together is them acting like they don't care. They act like this is natural, like they're not even trying to sound good.

I can't help myself. What can I say? I'm a singer. But I'll sing to Danielle, just to make my nerves settle. _"CAUSE WHEN THE ROOF CAVED IN AND THE TRUTH CAME OUT, I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DOOOO." _I act like I'm begging Dani, which makes her laugh and actually join in. We sing together as a joke. _"BUT WHEN I BECOME A STAR, WE'LL BE LIVIN SO LARGE I'LL DO AAAANYTHING FOR YAAAAA."_

"So tell me girl…" Dani says in her usual talking voice. She's so funny. She can do all the backup noises for me.

"_Mmmmm whatcha saaaaay…. Mmmm that you only meant weeeeell… well of course you did. Mmmm whatcha saaaay."_

"Whatcha say, whatcha say." Dani says backup in a deeper voice, mimicking the actual backup singers in the song. She's making me crack up. It's too hard to sing when I'm laughing so hard.

"_Mmmm that it's all for the beeeeest…. of course it is. Mmmmm whatcha saaaaayyyy…. Mmmm that you only meant welllll…. Well of course you did. Mmmmm whatcha say."_

"Whatcha say, whatcha say."

"_Wha-wha-wha-wha-What did you saaaaay?" _After I finish singing, I just crack up. Danielle reminds me SO much of my Dallas. Dallas is stupid with things like this too. She's so funny.

Once, my mom bought me the very first Ashanti CD, and in the beginning of one of the songs called "Rain On Me", it sounds like a girl is crying in the background. When we were listening to that song one day, Dallas beat herself up in the corner and started fake crying to match the song. Dallas is so much fun. I hope her and Danielle get to meet each other someday.

"….Demi and Danielle, you two are goofy." Joe shakes his head and laughs hysterically. Kevin's face is red from laughing so hard. Even Nick cracked a smile.

"Demi's my little buddy." Dani giggles and pats me on my back.

"…You and my sister would get along so good…" I sigh and look down. I don't even care if I have to explain myself. I miss Dallas, and that shall be known. It sure is nice to have Danielle around to give me a taste of my Dallas.

"…You have a sister? Older or younger?" Dani turns around and looks at me.

"Both. I'm the middle baby." I don't feel the need to shut up, so that's a plus. "Dallas is older. Maddie's younger."

"How old are they?"

"Dallas is 22. Maddie is 9. You remind me so much of Dallas. You guys would SO get along. You're both funny… and lively. Or at least… she used to be." I sit back and look out the window. I sigh. I miss Dallas so much. I miss Maddie too, but not as much as I miss Dallas. I need to get my mind off her before I cry. "…Let's sing something else." I suggest. It'll help me keep my mind off her.

* * *

**Dallas's Point of View.**

"My phone didn't say exactly where when it traced the call. It just said something, New Jersey." I lean my head between my legs and sweep all my long light brown hair forward and tie it up in a ponytail. I don't think that we're even anywhere close, and I vowed to not go to sleep until we get here. I don't think that's gonna work out, the more I'm thinking about it. I'm so tired, and we're only in Little Rock.

"Stop fretting, baby girl. We'll get there. We'll find her." My mom puts her hand on my arm to calm me down. "We're gonna stop for a little while. So I can get you guys something to eat and so we can go to sleep. We've been driving for long enough today." Mom leans forward and taps the yellow "pause" button on the onscreen navigation GPS system.

"Not if we can't find out which freakin' town she's in. And we've gotta get there for her birthday, mom. We have to." I reach over and lift up the lever to recline the seat back. "She's probably thinking that we aren't coming."

"Dallas Leigh. Why are you worrying so much? It's all gonna work out. I want to see Demi just as much as you do. We're gonna get there. We gonna get there." Mom pulls into a stall at the truck stop and parks the car for the night. "Are you hungry at all, honey?"

"I'm not hungry, just tired." I reach in the backseat and grab my thick Longhorns blanket. Madison is asleep, lying across the backseat. She doesn't look comfortable, but I guess she is because she's fast asleep. I turn completely around and fix her little blue Lilo and Stitch pillow underneath her head. Lucky that she's so small, she can fit completely across the seat. We're all tired.

I recline the seat all the way back and turn so that my back is facing the door. I pull my blanket up to my chin and situate my head on my ladybug pillow pet. Mom reaches in the backseat and grabs a can of Pepsi from the cooler. It's not like we can't afford to stay in a hotel, because truly, we can afford anything. When daddy died, he left everything to my mom, and his $50,000 life insurance policy covered the funeral and we even had some leftover. I just always try to get my mom to save money. She had it all planned out for us to spend nights in motels during our stops, but I told her that we didn't need to. We could stay here at rest stops for free. It's saving us a total of like $2,000.

"…Mom?" I push my blanket away from my face enough to see my mom when I talk to her. She's getting comfortable too. It's a good thing it's summertime, otherwise we'd all be freezing our asses off in this car for the night.

"What, honey?" She locks the doors of the car and lies down in her seat too. Sometimes, my mom can rub me the wrong way. A lot of the time, she tries too hard to act like our friend, rather than our mother. But when it comes down to it, she's actually a very good parent. She has her faults, like letting Madison flip out and get her way whenever she does flip. Or letting me drink at eighteen, as long as it was in the house. She even let Demi take the car when she was fifteen. But overall, she's a decent mom.

"What are we gonna do? When we get there?" Surely, we're gonna go get Demi, but then what? Mom sold the house. We don't live in Texas anymore. Where do we go from here? "With living, I mean…. Where are we gonna live?"

"Well…" Mom yawns. She should be tired. She drove six hours today. It takes a day to get to New Jersey from Texas, so we broke it down into four six hour trips. "…I was thinking that you know… we could go get Demi. Maybe we can settle down in South Carolina. You know, where Uncle Brandon and Uncle David live. Get Madison back in school. Get you into college. Help Demi on her feet… maybe get her a tutor to help her finish her senior year stuff that she didn't get to do." She reaches into the cup holder and grabs a cigarette.

"I'll miss Texas." I sigh and close my eyes. I need to sleep. The smell of my mom's cigarette is nagging me. I just HATE the smell of cigarettes.

"I know you'll miss it, baby. I'll miss it too." I hear her blow the smoke out through her lips. "But just think. In order for us to be a family again, we can't go back to Texas for a while. You know that."

Yeah, I do know that. We can't go back to Texas, like ever. Demi made that impossible. But I think if we lived very incognito, we could go back to Texas. They were looking hard for the first few months after it happened. They didn't have leads though. Every day, they would question us. And every day, we told them the same thing. That we didn't know where Demi was, and we didn't know where she was going. Demi's always been real good at hide n seek… haha.

I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth. It's something that I always do when I'm trying to fall asleep. If we drive twelve hours tomorrow, we'll see Demi in two days.

Two days.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

Dinner was very nice. The restaurant was immaculate. Everyone that was there was dressed in the same manner as we were. I ate so much that I'm still very full. I had roasted parmesan chicken with a side of chicken alfredo. I had wedding soup as an appetizer and I shared some mozzarella sticks with Joe. And a big slice of chocolate birthday cake for dessert. I'm so full.

I stand in the shower, letting the water hit my back. I'm actually very sore from the fight with Camilla earlier. I want to take a large Aspirin and go to bed. I'm not sure when Joe's gonna be in for bed, but I'm sure he'll be soon. I wash my body with a little blue washrag. My nose is so achy and sore. Kevin looked at it at dinner. He said it's definitely broken, but he doesn't want to do anything with it because he'd have to re-break it.

I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around myself. I dry off in the bathroom and hang my towel up. Naked, I walk back into my room and put some clothes on. I'm kind of thirsty, so I'm gonna go grab something to drink from downstairs. I slide on my slippers and tiptoe downstairs. It's half past ten at night. Even though we just got home, I'm sure someone is already asleep. I grab a glass from the cabinet and press the "water" button on the fridge.

I take a couple gulps of water and sit the glass in the sink. Hopefully Joe is ready for bed now. I'm just so tired. He really needs to hurry the hell up. I put my hand on the bannister and climb up the steps, holding onto the railing as I go up. When I reach the top step, I hear soft noises coming from the bedroom with the red door. I think it's Nick's bedroom.

I know it's not really my business, but I walk over and put my ear to the door. He's singing. He sounds good, as usual. But the song he's singing makes me feel really bad.

"Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains… cause you left me with no love and no life to my name…" I think I hear him playing the guitar too. "I'm still alive, but I'm barely breathing… just praying to a god that I don't believe in… cause I got time while she's got freeeedom. And when a heart breaks, no it don't break even…"

I feel so bad. I just… need to lie down. I feel lousy. I'm really sorry. You know what? I need to stop procrastinating and tell him. I knock softly on his door, and immediately, the guitar strumming stops. I hear his footsteps coming to the door. He opens it up quietly and stands in front of me. "Yes, Demi?"

"Hey, Nick… I… was just wondering if you had a minute… so we can talk." My palms sweat as usual when I'm nervous.

"It's really late, Demi. Can we talk tomorrow?" I can tell by the look on his face that he was crying. His eyes are wet and red. I feel horrible.

"Sure… we can talk tomorrow…" I say. I'm a little sad that he won't talk to me.

But I wouldn't talk to me either.


	23. Love Hate

**Joe's Point of View.**

"I just tried to talk to your brother…and he basically told me to kiss his ass. In a nice way, he told me to kiss his ass." Demi walks into my room and shuts the door behind her. I guess we're sleeping in here tonight. I don't think Demi's ever been in my room before, aside from being in here to basically beat Camilla up. Thinking back at it, she really did win the fight. She's small, but she's a pretty good fighter. Who knew?

"You just gotta give him time. He'll come around. Don't sweat it." I pull the sheets back on my bed so that we can get in it. I changed my sheets and everything, basically because I thought it'd be a bit disrespectful to lay Demi on the same sheets I had sex with Camilla in. I'd never do that.

"I'm so tired of this, Joe. I really am… I don't know why we can't just… be together." She sits down on my bed and sighs, holding her head in her hands. I put my hand on her back to comfort her. I don't want to do anything to make Demi seem like I don't want to be with her, but I'm not sure what else she wants from me. Does she want me to talk to Nick for her? I DO want to be with her. I broke up with Camilla for her, for crying out loud.

"It's just complicated, Demi. It's not as easy as it sounds. A lot goes into us being together…" I try to explain to her. She doesn't understand how easy this actually ISN'T. We can't just snap our fingers and be together. A lot goes into it. A lot of things that just so happen to take time. She just needs to be patient. I'm not sure what she wants from me.

"I just wish you'd give half the effort I give. You don't act like you want to be with me, Joe. I just want to know what page you're on. Like is this a relationship or not? What is it?" She puts her head down and takes a hard breath. "Because I'm not getting punched in the face, I'm not getting the cold shoulder for nothing. So if this is a relationship, please let me know."

"…What are you TALKING about, Demi?" I stand up and walk around my bed and stand in front of her. "Are you forgetting that I just broke up with the woman I was with… for THREE years… I was going to PROPOSE to her. But I gave that all up… for YOU." I grab her hand and hold it. "Of course I want to be with you. Don't you dare tell me that I don't want to be with you."

"…I'm sorry… for doubting it. It's just…" She starts and just stops talking. "…Let's just go to bed. You changed your sheets, right?" She stands up and takes her pajama pants off.

"Of course I changed the sheets." I chuckle and take off my shirt. I slide down in my bed, between the clean sheets. I'm so tired now that I think about it. I watch her as she prepares herself for bed. She has a black tank top on with yellow boyshort panties on. I can't help but notice that the bottom of her buttcheeks are hanging out of her underwear. She's hot.

"Just making sure…" She gets in bed with me and snuggles close, like she always does. "I feel really bad about Nick… I just don't know what to do. Like I'm gonna apologize and stuff, but I just… don't expect him to forgive me."

"Nick's not that bad once you get to know him. He's very forgiving… you just gotta give him time. A little bit of time." I rub her back and comfort her. I'm telling her a little bit of bullshit lies. Nick is very forgiving, but he is also a grudge-holder. It'll take him a long while to actually forgive her.

"I just wanna tell him I'm sorry." She whispers. She moves over and lies on my bare chest. I don't want her to get upset, so I have to take her mind off it. I put my hands on her upper back and play with her pretty hair. She's so pretty. And I might be making a huge mistake, breaking it off with Camilla but in this moment, I don't care. I have Demi. And I think she's all I want. And if I'm wrong, then that's okay.

"Let's not think about that… let's just… think about something else baby." I kiss the top of her head as she sighs on my chest. I rub her back some more.

"Okay… we'll think about something else." She agrees, but I can tell by the tone of her voice that something else is coming. "Let's talk about the fact that you told… even though you said you wouldn't tell, you told."

"Demi, I know… I know I told. But…. You… you don't know what I told for… look… it was so hard." I look down at her. "She was just…. Sucking me off. And while she was doing it, she was asking me stuff and…. Look, I just couldn't avoid it. I'm sorry."

"Sorry didn't do it." She lifts her head forward and kisses me. "You swore you wouldn't tell, Joe. You SWORE." She kisses me again. Seems to me like Demi has her own way of manipulation. I can't say anything besides "sorry" to her kisses. Her lips are so soft, her breath never sour, always tasting and smelling sweet.

"I know… and I'm sorry…" I kiss her back. I'm easily in love with her kisses. I'm in love with her lips. Just like Camilla, Demi can get me to agree to anything with one touch of her lips. Unlike Camilla, Demi's touch is stronger. Demi's touch leaves me wanting and dreaming for more. One kiss isn't enough for me. I need more. Every single time, I need more than one kiss.

"You better not break another promise to me…" She threatens me, but follows up her threat with a kiss. This time, I put my tongue in her mouth. Her tongue rubs against mine with sporadic moments of passion. I'm going to have sex with Demi. I don't know when. And I really don't care when. I just know that it's gonna happen.

I've made my mind up about it.

I pull away from Demi, wiping her lips off with my thumb. I stare at her. She's breathtakingly gorgeous. No other way to describe her.

"Go to sleep, Demi. We've had a long day…" I whisper in her ear, stroking every inch of her flowy hair. Every single aspect of Demi is perfect.

"…Goodnight." She closes her eyes and rubs my chest.

I've never slept better than I've been sleeping these past two or so weeks while I've been holding Demi. My sleeps are always just so good with her.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

"**You guys don't have to eat it if you don't want to…I'll understand." Mommy puts three plates down at the table in front of us. It doesn't look too good, but she tried. It's all a learning process for her. She's trying to make this easier on all of us, but the truth is; we're all still sad. And that's okay. Even Madison is sad. I take my fork and stab it into the totally overcooked baked potato. Dallas tries out the steak. Madison is lucky, safe with the TV dinner my mom just popped in the microwave for her. For some reason, my mom refuses to feed me and Dallas anymore TV dinners. That's all we've been eating for a week, and I guess she feels bad.**

**Mom tries to cut the steak herself, and quickly realizes what we realize. She was too worried about burning them that she totally undercooked them. The meat is still red on the inside. "Uhh…" She puts her utensils down and pushes the plate away from herself. "It's still not perfect, as you guys can see." She looks really sad, so I put my hand on her arm to let her know it's okay. "I'll order a pizza. What do you guys want on it?"**

"**Extra cheese and extra pepperoni." I get up from my seat and take my plate over to the deep kitchen sink. We have a beautiful kitchen. We have a beautiful everything, because daddy took care of us. For a while, I only liked daddy for his money. I wasn't exactly open to having a new guy in our lives after my other dad walked out. But I knew that daddy was different. Sure, he had a lot of money. But that wasn't all he had. He had a lot of personality too.**

**I'm not supposed to know this, because I wasn't supposed to listen to this conversation, but the night I figured out that daddy wasn't all he cracked up to be still lives in my memory. It was the second day that me and Dallas met him. Mommy took a long time to introduce us to him, because she wanted to make sure he was "right" for us. But the second day we met him, it was time for bed around 9:00. I was supposed to be in bed, but I was eavesdropping on their conversation.**

**Daddy… or Mr. Eddie as I called him for a while there was actually a good guy for mommy. He was together with this one girl for four years, and he wanted a baby. He wanted a baby with her and to marry her, but she really didn't want a baby and she didn't want to get married. She got pregnant with a baby one day but it wasn't his baby so he left her. And he also said that he thought me and Dallas were the prettiest little girls he's ever seen, but that's all sissy stuff compared to what else I heard. Daddy didn't mind taking care of us. **

**He took me and Dallas to the zoo, to get ice cream, to the swimming pool, a waterpark, to the beach. He took us everywhere. He was a good daddy, even if he wasn't my real daddy. I just feel bad because Madison will never know how good of a dad she had.**

"**Can we get sausage on one side of it?" Dallas asks in regards to the pizza. She washes off the plates and shuts off the water at the sink. **

"**You don't like sausage on your pizza, Dallas. Why do you want sausage on it?" Mom grabs the home phone and the menu to Pizza Hut off the fridge. "You know you don't like sausage on your pizza."**

"…**Daddy did…. Just get the sausage on it, please." Dallas dismisses the topic. Daddy loved sausage on his pizza. Sausage and pineapple, but I thought the pineapple thing was a little repulsive.**

…

"Hey, wake up…" Joe shakes me and I yawn. I guess I can't get too mad at him, since this is really only the first time he's ever woken me up like this. Any other time, he just lets me sleep. So him waking me up must be for a pretty serious matter.

"What time is it?" I lift my head from my pillow. I was having a really good sleep… the drool spot on my pillow says so. I cover the spot with my arm so that Joe won't notice it. Something's different about this morning. It's not the fact that I can't smell pancakes cooking, like I usually do. It's not that I can't smell coffee brewing as usual. It's not even the fact that I'm not the only one still sleeping. It's the fact that it's still DARK outside.

"It's 6 AM." He says jubilantly, as if I'm supposed to be happy too. Irritated isn't the word to describe how I'm feeling. If it's six in the morning, why the hell am I up? Why are WE up? He must catch the expression on my face, because he explains himself. "I know, it's early… but I'm about to go running. Do you want to go with me? You don't have to. You can fall back asleep…. I'll be back home in an hour."

"No. I don't want to go with you. I don't… I don't run." I shake my head lightly. "And it's raining outside…" I wonder if he understands the full extent of what I just said. It's not that I don't go running. I just DON'T run. Like ever. I'm too fat to run. I've been too fat to run since I was like ten. I don't run, and I DON'T physically exert myself. It's just not something that I do. I'm too lazy.

"Alright. I'll be back home in an hour. I just didn't want you to wake up and be upset when I'm not here." He leans down and presses his lips to my temple. "Go back to sleep." He leaves me alone and stands beside his dresser, rummaging through his drawers to find himself something to wear, I assume. He takes off his boxers. His butt is actually really cute. It's small and really flabby. Not to mention, it could use a tan. He has a mole on his left cheek. It's kind of hairy too. It's cute. He has his back turned to me, so I can't see what's around front.

He puts on a pair of sweatpants, no boxers. It's raining outside. I can hear the hard drumming of the raindrops on the window pane. I don't want him to go outside in those conditions. I'm worried about him. I don't want him to get sick. We agreed that we're each other's babies. I'm not gonna let my baby go outside in the pouring rain. He could get sick. Granted, if he came down with a cold, I'd take care of him. I'd take care of my baby.

"…Joe?" I sit up in his bed and push my hair out of my face. "Don't go running today. It's raining out. Get back in bed with me… come on…" I pull the covers on the side of his bed back, welcoming him in bed with me. "Come on…"

"Demi, I go running all the time in the rain. I'll be fine. Don't worry about me. Lay back down, I'll be back home before you know it." He pulls on a sweatshirt and a little black popover hat. I watch as he laces his running shoes up.

"…Joe. You said you're my baby, right? I'm not letting you go outside in the rain. You could get hurt. You could catch a cold. Get your butt back in his bed with me where it's warm. You can go running tomorrow or later on tonight after it stops raining. Get back in bed before I beat you." I get up out of his bed in my underwear. My tank top is rising up, exposing my belly ring. I walk over to him and pull his hat off. "No running. Not right now."

"Okay, okay. I won't go running." He grabs my arms and folds them under me. I stand on my tiptoes and give him a brief kiss on his cheek. He takes my face in his hand, adjusts it so that I'm facing him, and gives me a deep kiss on my lips. His mouth tastes minty. Perhaps he brushed his teeth already. My mouth probably tastes like morning breath. He puts both his hands under my butt and wriggles his fingers underneath each side to give me a wedgie.

"You're giving me a wedgie." I stand on my tiptoes to keep kissing him. My buttcheeks are hanging out and I'm not exactly sure how I feel about that.

"I told you I'm an ass kind of guy." He chortles and picks me up, holding me against him with my legs wrapped around his waist. "I hope you don't wanna go back to sleep…" He slides his lips all along my collar and kisses my neck. "You can sleep after I'm done with you."

I do want to have sex with him. I really do. But I just can't. Not right now. Not with the way I'm feeling about Nick. I'll feel terrible if I screw Joe right now. I don't want to do something I'm gonna regret. And I'll regret having sex with Joe if I do it right now. I'm sure he's an amazing lover. I've dreamt and thought about what he must be like in bed for a long time. And I want to find out for sure how amazing he is in bed. But I want to find out when I have a clear mind. "No sex…" I give him a tongue-less kiss on the lips.

"No?" He leans down and lays me on his pillow in his bed. Before I get the chance to close my legs, he lies on top of me, between them. "Why not? I thought you wanted me…" He plants his hands up by my excessively long hair and holds himself up, hovering over me. The muscles in his arms are hard and very defined. He's so sexy.

"I do want you…" I don't even deny that fact. "I want you so bad…" I reach my hands up and rub his back. I can't feel what his back feels like through his baggy sweatshirt, so I give up on the top half and think about his bottom half. My legs are wide open, he's resting his pelvis against mine.

"Then what's the problem?" He kisses my neck and grinds his pelvis against mine. "I want you too…" I rest my hands on his lower back and guide him as he keeps pumping his bottom half in an in and out motion. I don't want to just dry-hump him. God knows I don't. But I don't have a clear mind. I need a clear mind.

"Not now, Joe…" I don't know how much longer I'm gonna be able to resist him. I'm so wet, my underwear are sticking to me. He keeps rubbing his dick against me, making me whimper. He's not inside me, but every time he brushes against my clit, I get so much wetter. I need him… I can't keep telling him no. I can't keep telling him no when I want it so bad.

"You're telling me no… but your pussy's telling me yes… which one is it?" He reaches down with his hands and moves my underwear to the side. He holds my underwear over with his two fingers and rubs me with his thumb. "How'd you get so wet… so fast?" He kisses my lips, with no tongue. "I love it…"

I roll my eyes up to the top of my head before I close them. "I said no….not right now…" He keeps my underwear over and smashes his pelvis against mine again, and starts humping me some more. The fabric of his pants his lightly brushing against me and driving me insane. "Oh my fucking…"

"See, I knew you wanted it…." He kisses my cheek and moves around below, pulling his dick out through the top of his pants. I can't do this. I want to do it so bad. Oh my god, I wanna do it so bad. But I can't. I didn't apologize to Nick yet. I didn't apologize…

"Joe, NO." I put a stiff hand up against his chest and he finally gets the picture that I'm serious about this. No sex right now. I feel like I'm about to cry. I want him so bad. I wanna have sex…

"What's the matter?" He stops doing what he's doing abruptly and looks down at me, care written all across his face. "I'm sorry… You're just… so wet… I'm starting to feel a little… like… like Pinocchio, if you know what I mean." He moves my hair away from my face. "But if you don't want to do it, I understand."

"Not today…" I close my eyes. I'm still horny. It's not going away. I'm about to just say fuck it and do it already. I need a good, proper, long, nice, dicking. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but it's the truth. I need it. I've never had it, and I need it. I need it good, too. I need it real good. Just five minutes. "…What can you do for me in five minutes?"

"…I can't fuck you in five minutes. I'm not a minute-man, and I won't cum in five minutes. You'll cum… but I won't." He sits up in his bed and sighs. He doesn't really understand how bad I actually want it.

"…Five minutes is all I can give you…" I shake my head. "Take it or leave it."

"…Fine. I'll take it." He replies eagerly. He doesn't waste a minute taking my underwear off. I don't know how well I'M gonna be able to keep to my "five minutes" thing. I'm gonna try, but I don't think I'll be able to do it, in truth. Instead of mounting me, like I originally thought he was gonna do, he slides down, past my chest, past my stomach and between my legs. "Tell me when the time is starting."

"Just go." I flop back into the pillows and close my eyes. Five minutes… Five minutes… What if Nick finds this out? I'll feel so bad. What if Joe tells him? I know Joe promised he wouldn't tell but he promised that – WOAH! OH MY GOD, IS THAT HIS TONGUE? Five minutes… Five min…. oh my god, that's his tongue.

If I'm quiet, I can hear his quiet little "mmms" coming from below my waist. I reach down with a shaky hand and put it on his head. Oh my god… his tongue is magic. He turns his head as if we're kissing on the lips and pumps his head in and out of me like he's fucking me with his tongue. My legs shake, and even when I try to stop them, I can't. He pulls his tongue out and licks down low, towards my ass. Oh my…. GOD.

I whimper as he cups his lips around my clit and sucks on it. He rolls his tongue back down to my hole and from my hole down to my ass. I can't do this anymore. I need ALL of him. I didn't know how good this was… why hasn't anyone told me this before? Oh my god….

He uses his hands and spreads me open down there, licking every single inch of me. Time's up! Time's up! But I can't stop him… "T…times u…up… uhhh…" I breathe heavy as my chest heaves. "S…st…stop… n…owww…"

"Mmmmm…. Hold up, hold up." He French kisses my hole. "You didn't cream yet…" He has so many different words for what happens when I orgasm. And every single word he uses is sexy. He cups his lips around my clit once more and sucks. Oh my god, that's it.

"Y…Yes… OH GOD!" I buck up towards him, grip the sheets and let my whole body shake. I've never had an orgasm before, but I'm sure that I'm having one right now. My whole body just gets really hot. My nerves run wild. Oh god… I feel myself release all over his tongue, and he doesn't mind. He licks it all up.

I have the worst headache now.

I'm about to seriously just cry. Why do I get like this? One minute, I'm enjoying the sex thing, then the next, I'm ready to sob. It happens every time I even think about sex with Joe. It happened when he fingered me. It's happening now. Why? Why can't I just enjoy it?

I quickly use the pads of my fingers to swipe away the tears that have fallen, before Joe can see them.

I don't know if I like sex or if I hate sex.

I just wish I'd stop crying after something sexual happens.

I know why I cry… but I'm not sure what it means. Does it mean that I'll never enjoy sex?

I just wanna stop crying.


	24. Hurt

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"Are you mad at Joe?" I approach Nick in the nicest way possible. I don't want to make him feel any worse than he probably already does. I just feel like as the oldest, I have to squash the drama between the two of them before it escalates or anything. They're brothers, after all. I will say that I think Nick has every right to be mad at Joe, though. He should be mad at Demi too. I do feel a little bad for Nick. I won't lie about that. I toss Nick a tan rag and put the bucket of soapy water down on the ground.

"Mad? No. Not exactly. " He catches the rag and dunks it in the bucket. "Disappointed is more like it. Disappointed, let down, upset, shocked…. All of the above." He starts scrubbing the rims of my mom's Camaro. "What sucks the most is that I thought we really connected, me and Demi. When I took her to the fair and stuff…. We had a lot of fun. It was kind of a surprise how quickly she just went to Joe. Like… I meant nothing to her or something…" He sighs and sits down beside the tire to keep washing the rims.

"Yeah, I know. It's messed up how they did that. But you can't help it if she just didn't feel that way about you. You know? Like maybe all Demi ever wanted to be was friends with you. You can't help that…" I rinse off the finished rims with the hose. "I don't think you should sweat it, honestly. You should just be cool with it, because someone else will come along. Like how when Shelby friendzoned me. But then I met Dani, so then it was all good."

"Yeah, maybe. It just sucks cause I have to see them together. I'm just glad that Joe's happy and so is Demi. It sucks, but I can't do anything about it so whatever." He just shrugs. Boy, am I happy to hear that. The last thing anyone wants to see is Nick and Joe fighting each other over Demi. "I'm just gonna forget about it." He starts washing the windshield.

"Well, while we're both here… I might as well get your advice on something." I rinse off the windshield with the hose. "Me and Dani decided to go with something a little more Italian with the baby. But we can't decide between Lorenzo, Angelo or Dominic… what do you like?" I rinse off the back of the car too. "I'm leaning towards Dominic, honestly. But knowing Danielle, she probably likes Angelo. We can't agree on anything."

"I like Dominic. We'll probably call him 'Dom' for short. Dominic isn't a bad one. I don't like Angelo." He throws his rag back into the bucket and sighs. "Everyone has a girlfriend or a wife around here and I don't. Even Frank as a girl. Name's Chloe. She's a little blonde girl. Can you believe that mom's letting him go to the beach with her family? We weren't even allowed to date at nine years old."

"He's got a date tonight?! What?! I wasn't allowed to start dating until I turned thirteen! And event that was pushing it…" I shake my head. "Damn, times have changed around here."

He chuckles and dumps the soapy water from the bucket out onto the pavement. "So, dad wants me and Demi to record that thing tonight… how do I tell him politely that I don't want to do it anymore?" He shakes the bucket to make sure he gets all the suds out of it.

"Ooooh. You're on your own with that. You know how dad is…" I shut the hose off. "Did he give you the material yet? Or do you still not know what you're supposed to sing?"

"He gave me the song. It's a pretty easy tune to sing, the verses are pretty repetitive. I didn't give it to Demi yet, so she'll probably be clueless. I was supposed to give it to her yesterday, but yesterday was just a bad day… I heard that Demi can fight though…"

"I heard that too. Joe told me she kicked Camilla's ass. Anybody know why they fought in the first place?"

"Kevin, Camilla was his girlfriend. And Demi was sleeping with him every night. You tell me why they were fighting…" He clears his throat. "Don't tell Joe, but I kinda provoked it. I told Camilla that Joe and Demi were messing around."

"YOU WHAT?!"

"Shhh! I didn't… I didn't expect her to go all out and punch Demi in the face. I just expected her to talk to Joe. I just thought she should know…" He cracks open the can of soda he brought outside with him and sits down on the porch steps. "I just thought Camilla deserved to know…"

"Nick, that's none of your business though! What the hell! You caused that fight?! What is wrong with you?!"

"I feel bad about it! If I knew she was gonna hit Demi like that, I would've never told. I'm sorry. But don't tell Joe. DON'T tell him."

"I'm not gonna tell Joe… but what's wrong with you, Nick? Stay out of people's business."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. I'll tell Joe I'm sorry when I'm ready for him to know. But come on, Kev. You see why I did it, right? If I would have never told Camilla, Joe would still be with her and he would be playing them both. He'd have them both… and that's not right. You guys tell me how screwed up I am for playing two girls all the time. It's no different with Joe… is it?"

"Yeah, I guess it isn't. But don't do that again… you hear me? Don't you ever do that again. Demi could've gotten seriously hurt…"

"She beat the shit out of Camilla… I think Camilla's the one we should be concerned for, Kev."

Yeah, he's right. Demi's not the one I should be concerned about.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

"…Are you okay?" Joe leans forward and kisses my cheek. His arms are wrapped around my waist and his chin is resting on my shoulder. I guess what he's asking is if it felt good. And yes, it did. It felt amazing. But to answer his "are you okay?" question, no. I'm not okay. I'm not okay. I'm not okay.

I really don't want to go back to it. But I'm going back. I wish I could unscrew my brain and just lay it on my nightstand for a while. I need a break from thinking. I just need a break from my head. My head keeps forcing me to revisit the things I just want to forget about. No, Joe. I'm not okay. I'll never be okay. And it's not your fault, but it's beyond anything you can control. It's beyond anything I can control. I'm not okay.

…

**I look at the clock. It's 1:30 in the morning. I think it's safe to go to sleep now. I look around my bedroom, my eyes fixating on some of the most recognizable qualities through the darkness. My little brown teddy bear's eyes stare at me in the darkness. I wish I could go back to the time when that teddy bear actually meant something to me. Teddy bears stand for innocence, childhood, and just plain purity. But what do teddy bears stand for when your innocence, childhood and purity is gone?**

**I hold my breath and close my eyes. He usually comes at one, I usually wait up for him. It's 1:30, so maybe he forgot about me. It's so degrading to have to wait for it like this. No matter what I do during the day, he'll punish me for it at night. Whether it's a beating, making me go scrub a bathroom that's already clean or just simply yelling at me, I will be punished for any discretion, no matter how minor they are. I broke a plate on the floor at dinner today. He'll probably make me go sweep it up, because he let it sit there for a long time. I wonder what the catch is gonna be.**

**Well, he's not here. So hopefully, he forgot about me. I pull my covers up to my neck and settle in to go to sleep. I've never been this tired in my life. I feel like ten pound weights are on my eyelids. I wonder how he keeps this a secret from my mom. I know better than to tell on him. I'll probably get whooped for days if I tell on him.**

"…**Demi…" Oh no. That menacing voice booms through my room like the sound of thunder during a rain storm. Oh no… I just hope he doesn't hit me. I'll clean tonight, just don't hit me. I wonder why he hates me so much. He adores Madison, loves Dallas. Why does he hate me? What is it about me that he finds so… hateful?**

**I keep my eyes closed. I don't want him to know that I'm awake. I'm sleeping. Please just leave. I'm tired tonight. **

**I hear his footsteps walk closer to my bed, one by one. "I know you're awake." Damn. Nothing gets past him. I bite down on my trembling lip and open my eyes.**

"**What? Do you want me to clean the plate up now?" I find that if I compromise with him, he usually takes it a little easier on me. I lift myself up and yawn. I'm so tired.**

"**No, not the plate." He sits down beside me. I can't see him through the darkness, so I can't tell if the expression on his face is angry or if it's just disciplinary. "Scoot over… let me in." He demands. I yawn again and do what he says. Whatever he wants me to do, I want to get it over with so I can fall asleep.**

**He slides down in the covers with me. "You have a comfortable bed." He slides his hand over and touches my leg. It's not the kind of touch that's accidental, either. It's the kind of touch that my boyfriend touches me like. My breath catches in my throat. **

"**What are you doing?" I whisper to him. I'm not entirely sure if I want to know the answer to that. He moves his hand up my leg and stops at my privates. I push his hand away. "Stop." I let him know that I mean business. He aggressively pushes my hand away from him and puts it back between my legs. He puts his face into my neck and starts to kiss me. I swat his hand away. "Get off!"**

"**Shut up!" He yells through his clenched teeth and slaps me, dead across my right cheek. I grunt with the slap and taste the nasty taste of blood in my mouth. He puts his hands on my shoulders and pushes me down, parting my legs with his strong left leg. I wanna scream. I don't want this... **

"**Get off me…" I mumble. He's so much stronger than me. He grabs my pajama pants and pulls them down, around my knees. I really don't want this. I close my eyes and start praying to god. Please don't let this happen to me. Please get him off me. Please… I don't deserve this. Please, god. Please… I'm not asking for much. Just don't let this happen.**

"**Virgins have the best…" He laughs in my ear. I want to kill him so bad. I want him to die, a slow, horrible, painful death. Just fucking die. He hovers over me, holding his manhood below his own waist. I can't see much, but I can see his blonde hair and his blue eyes gazing down at me with predatory amusement. Please god… He leans forward and slides himself inside of me. Why am I wet? I don't want this. I don't want this. He keeps my legs open with his strong hands and starts hurting me. He hurts me hard and deep and I just want him to stop. His lips quiver up into a sly smile, his teeth bared. "Damn, baby… Oh baby.."**

"…**.." I open my mouth to say something to him but no words will come out. I whimper and just start to cry. Is there a god? If there is, why is he letting this happen? I don't want this. Why am I so wet? All I hear is the sound of my heart beating, my tears hitting my pillow and his multitudinous grunts every time he goes in and hurts me some more.**

"**Uh…" He kisses the top of my head. "You bleedin' yet?" He asks.**

**Well… no. I don't have my period right now. And I'm not a virgin anymore. Does he seriously think I'm a virgin? He'll stop, because I'm not a virgin. He'll stop…**

"**Mmmm… guess I'm not in there hard enough." He grabs my legs and hurts me so hard that the bed shakes. What do I have to do to get him to stop it?**

"**Stop it! Stop it! Just… stop." I push him away as hard as I can but he's too strong. **

"**N…not til I see some blood, baby…" **

**I want my mom. "Mommy…." I whisper to myself. If god can't help me, maybe my mom can. But I don't wanna scream. I want my mom to hold me and kiss me and tell me it's okay. Mommy… I sniff and swallow a lump in my throat. "I'm not a virgin…"**

**He stops immediately. "You're not?" He pulls himself out of me and hovers over me, looking down. "You're not a virgin? What the hell. Slut. You're a slut. You're a dirty little whore, aren't you? Slut…" **

**I'm not a slut… I'm not a slut. I just had sex once. Well, twice now. But… does this even count? "I'm not… I just…"**

"**Save it. Whore. What's your mom gonna think? Whore."**

"**I'm not a whore! I'm not a whore! I'm…." I just shake my head and put my hands over my face. I can't take this anymore. I can't… I'm tired of it. I'm so tired. I'm not a whore. I'm not. He raped me… I didn't want it. I didn't want this.**

"**Filthy little slut." He pulls his pants up and gets out of my bed, slamming the door behind him as he leaves. "Fucking whore." He mumbles as he leaves.**

**I just lie down on my pillow and cry. Where was god? Why'd he let it happen?**

**There IS NO god. Otherwise, he wouldn't have let it happen to me. He doesn't exist. God is fake.**

**And since god is fake, there is no heaven or hell.**

**So I can do this. I'm gonna do this.**

…

"Demi….. Demi…." Joe's calling my name, as he has been for a long while now. I just can't bring myself to answer him right now. I pull myself out of my daydream and think straight. Joe's calling me. I turn my head to see what he wants.

"Huh?" I spit out aimlessly. I'm sweating like a pig. My hair is sticking to the back of my neck as I sit up, my eyes glossy and not even paying attention to anything that Joe's saying to me. I'm too hung up on the daydream I just had. I don't even want to think of it. I never want to think about it again. But knowing my brain, I'll be thinking about it sooner, rather than later.

"Are you okay? I asked you if you were okay…. Are you?" He takes his arms from around my waist and looks me in my face. "What's the matter?"

"…Nothing." I look down at the quilt on his bed and sigh. When will I ever just…be normal?

"Well did you like it? ...if you didn't like it, I'll never do it again…" He puts his arm around my waist again and kisses my cheek. When I was younger, my mom taught me the difference between "good touch" and "bad touch." I know that bad touch is what he did to me. Bad touch is him hurting me like that. Good touch is Joe. Joe's touch is good touch. So why can't I get used to the fact that he's good? Why am I still so afraid of him?

"I liked it…." I whisper. "I liked it a lot." He puts his hands on my lower back, and I jump. Why is he touching me there? I don't wanna have sex again. He rubs my lower back and I pull away. "Stop!"

He takes his hands off me quickly. "Woah… woah. Demi… Demi, I'm sorry…" He backs away from me really slowly. "I don't know what's the matter with you… but… but whatever it is… I'm sorry." He scoots over some more. "…I won't hurt you, though. I'll never hurt you…."

He won't hurt me. Why do I think he's lying? He's Joe…. He's Joe. He won't hurt me… I keep my head down on the quilt.

"I won't hurt you…" He inches closer to me and I freeze up. I lock my body and just sit still. He said he won't hurt me. He said he won't hurt me… I close my eyes. "I'm not gonna hurt you." He puts his arms around the top of me and holds me. "…I… don't know what… I don't know what happened to you…" He kisses my cheek. "But I won't hurt you. I'll never let anybody hurt you."

"…You won't?" I put my head on his chest. I trust him. I hope he doesn't burn me. I really trust him. "Please don't hurt me…"

"I'll never hurt you." He rests his chin on top of my head and rubs my back. "…I love you Demi." He kisses my forehead. "I'd never hurt anyone I love as much as I love you." He kisses my cheek and rubs all over me. I think I feel safe. I close my eyes and lay on him. I trust Joe.

"I love you too." I think I love Joe. I hope I'm not making a mistake by telling him that. I love him… I know I do. I just hope that I can have sex with the man I love without feeling the need to cry afterwards, without having trust issues with him. I trust him. He won't hurt me. And he loves me.

What more could I ask for?

Well, I could ask for my brain to stop with the memories. I don't want to remember it.

Joe loves me. And I love him. I guess now would be the time to tell him about myself.

He should know some things about me. Some important things.

Like the fact that I killed someone.


	25. Lost

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"Can't you call off work for today? Just for today… We can both stay home and watch movies all day. You'll miss work and I'll miss my nail appointment." Danielle walks over to me in her pristine white plush bathrobe and wraps her arms around my bare upper half. She rests her head on my bicep and stares at herself in the mirror. She really makes me want to consider calling off just to stay with her today, but if she's trying to move out of my parents' house before the baby is born, I need all my hours that I can get.

"You know I'd love to, baby. But I need this overtime. I need to make all the money I can for us and our son." I hold her hands in mine and kiss her cheek. "But I'm off tomorrow. We'll spend the entire day together. That sound good?" I turn so that we're facing each other and kiss her sweetly on her lips. I press the tips of my fingers to her hard abdomen. I really can't wait to see what our baby looks like.

"I guess." She sighs and pulls away from me. "You work too hard." She sits down cross-legged on our bed and rubs sweet-smelling lotion all over her long legs. "It wouldn't kill you to take a day or two off." Her hair falls in bouncy curls over her face, creating a shield so that I can't see her. I walk over and sweep it away.

"I promise I'll stop working so much when the baby comes." I kiss her forehead and leave her alone. I have to be at work in a half hour. I pull my papery blue scrub shirt over my head and clip my nametag onto the upper pocket. "But I do want you to miss your nail appointment today, babe. I want you to just relax for the day. You don't need to be out running around."

"I'm not missing my nail appointment today, Kevin. I missed my appointment for last week." She straps a bra onto herself and looks for a suitable outfit to wear. "Just because I'm a pregnant woman doesn't mean I have to look like one. My nails are a mess right now."

"…I don't know. I have a bad feeling about you getting your nails done today. Like you should just stay home. Get them done tomorrow, when I can be here to make sure you don't exert yourself or anything. You're supposed to be on bed rest…" I hand her a clean pair of black sweatpants, because that's all she wears anymore. Sweatpants and t-shirts are her pregnancy wardrobe.

"I'm just going to get my nails done. When I come back home from that, I promise you I will take a long nap until you get home. I'll be fine, babe. You just bring home the bacon, okay? Leave the worrying to me. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're the pregnant one." She puts on her usual t-shirt and sweatpants and pulls her long hair up into a ponytail.

"Alright. I'm gonna get going now, just in case there's traffic or something. I love you." I give her a long kiss on her lips. I always make sure I kiss Dani like it's the last time I ever will, specifically because it might actually be the last time I ever will. I don't take anything for granted, or at least I try not to.

I slide my shoes on and head downstairs. Danielle really isn't following the rules regarding her bed rest, but I guess she makes valid points, being that she's not allowed on her feet for a certain amount of time. She'll be sitting at the nail saloon, right? I hop into my car and speed off in the direction of the hospital as I put myself into work mode.

Ever since Demi wandered into my emergency room, I've been trying really hard not to let my patients have the same effect Demi had on me. I've been trying extra hard to distance and separate my feelings. Speaking of Demi, I need to bring her back to the hospital so I can give her a checkup. I suppose I could check her out at home, but the machines I would need to do it are at the hospital. I just want to make sure her vision is good, make sure her blood pressure is decent and make sure feet healed the proper way.

I'm very proud of how far my little Demi has come. I remember when she would hide from me in her hospital room. I remember when I thought she was a feral child, because she wouldn't speak more than two syllables at a time. Now, she's a totally different girl. I don't care how old she is. I'd still like to adopt her.

I pull into my reserved parking space in the parking garage of the hospital and get out. I guess it's a good thing that I don't completely hate my job, otherwise I'd completely dread having to be at this hospital until 7:30 tonight. I lock my car and walk towards the entrance. I think the first patient I'll check up on is the four year old little boy that came in yesterday with a bad fever. The kid's mom is a little crazy, but it's my job to tell her that it's ONLY a fever. Nothing more than a fever.

I punch in at the time clock and grab the green chart that belongs to the four year old. I flip through the notes made by the night staff. Apparently, he had a bad stomachache last night… he puked twice and the mom almost cried. I'll give him an IV drip to get his fluids up and let whatever virus he has to run its course. I close his chart, stick it in the basket hanging on the door and walk right into his room.

"I see you had a pretty bad night, huh Evan?" I go straight to the sink to wash my hands. The kid's mother is asleep in the chair beside the window while he sits up and watches cartoons. I dry my hands and go over to him. "How was your tummy aching last night? Was it stinging, like you got stung by a bee? Or was it sore, like when you have a bruise?" I check his temperature with a thermometer that I just have to run across his forehead.

"Sooore." He whines to me, his pretty blue eyes with tears in them. I ruffle his shaggy blonde hair and smile at him.

"It's gonna be alright, bud. I'm gonna put some medicine into your IV to take the tummy pain away, okay? And in one hour, I'll tell your mommy to let you have some lunch." I unscrew the already dripping medicine from his IV and screw in a different kind. "You want some apple juice or water?"

"Juice." He reaches over and holds onto a green plastic dinosaur.

"What's your dinosaur's name, bud?" I go to the mini fridge and grab a small carton of apple juice. I open the straw and poke it through the top hole. I hand him the juice box and make sure he gets it down alright.

He takes a long sip of the juice before he answers me. "Carl… like my daddy." He flashes me a smile full of baby teeth. "My daddy's name is Carl. He's in arack, though. He's coming home this month!"

"Really? Your daddy's in Iraq? That's so cool." I really do enjoy the conversations I have with my patients, especially the younger ones. I enjoy talking to them, because they always have so much to say and be excited about. "I'll be right back in a little while, buddy. I have to go check on another patient. If you need something, push the red button and I'll be right back. You hear?"

He nods and throws himself into the television program that's playing. I'm just glad that his mother is asleep. The mom is a bit of a pain in the ass, quite honestly. I'm not sure why Evan's even here in the emergency room. He just has a slight stomach virus. Better safe than sorry though, I suppose.

I leave the room and head straight for the break room. I need some coffee. I'm not even sure how I'm functioning without it. I always find myself worrying about my own family when I'm at work. Like I wonder what my mom's fixing up for lunch. And I wonder what my dad's preaching about right now. I wonder if Frankie's getting ready for his "date" yet. What's Nick up to? Probably playing basketball by the pool. Joe's probably keeping Demi occupied, but I hope he's occupying her with his clothes on. And most importantly, I wonder what my Danielle is doing at her nail appointment. I know she left already. Her appointment was at 11:30, it's 11:45 now.

I pour some creamer into my coffee cup and head out to the front desk to see what new patients I have to tend to. Evan was the only one I had to check up on from last night. I sip my coffee and reach the front desk. I lean on it and talk to Joanne, the secretary. "Is it a slow day, or what?" When everyone is standing around with nothing to do, it's usually a slow day.

"Slow day for us. The adult ER is getting all the action. The pediatric unit never gets any action." My co-worker named John complains. Emma, a young intern leans next to me against the front desk and joins in our conversation.

"Yeah, it's so boring today. The regular ER is having all the fun right now. You hear about that bridge accident like ten minutes ago?" Emma tosses her long brown hair over her shoulder and shifts her weight from one leg to the next.

"Bridge accident? No kidding. When? Where? How?" I take another sip of my coffee and listen in. The regular ER ought to be super busy with a bridge accident. They're so lucky.

"You know that bridge crossing Parkway and North Street? The bridge passing by the shore? Apparently it collapsed. Built it over a big sinkhole that gave way. Nobody has been reported dead yet, so that's a plus. But sucks for us, because all big injuries are taken to the main ER." She fills me in on the latest gossip.

"Yeah. Sucks for us…" I sigh. I wonder if Dani heard about the bridge collapse. She's usually real interested in these kinds of things. She's so morbid, it's kind of cute. I grab my phone from my top pocket and dial her number. She probably won't answer though. She never answers at her nail appointments. I guess it's because her hands are all tied up that she can't.

I hang my phone up after the seventh ring that Danielle doesn't answer and stick my phone back into my top pocket. "I'm gonna go see if the main ER needs any help with minor child injuries. I'll see if I can get us some action or something. I throw my empty cup of coffee away and head up the hallway to the main emergency room. They probably won't need any help, but it's always best to ask, because if I don't ask then I'm forced to sit around all day and sitting around makes the time go super slow.

I walk with a graceful stride up the hallway. I walk past the cancer ward, the drug and alcohol abuse ward, the psychiatric unit. Speaking of psychiatric units, I was thinking about getting Demi into a really good anger management class. I notice that she is quite the angry little thing. And I notice that when she gets angry, she gets crazy angry. I wanna help her out or something. My thoughts are interrupted by the loud beeping of my pager. I grab my pager off my pants and see where I'm being paged to. I'm being paged to room four in the main emergency area. Ooh. Maybe they do need help.

I walk a little faster and approach the main desk of the emergency room. It's crazy busy in here. The doors are opening left and right, people are in sheer chaos around me. Yeah, it looks like a bridge collapsed in here. "Yeah, Anthony. I was paged to room four." I flash my badge at him so he'll let me back in the emergency area. I'm expecting to walk in the room and see a little boy or girl with his or her arm cut off or something.

"Go on back." Anthony mediates and lets me behind the double doors.

I push through the doors and walk straight to room four. I'm not very familiar with where all the equipment is in these rooms, but I'll work with what I've got. I've never been paged in on a case in the regular ER before, so this is definitely a first for me. I push the blue curtains to room for open and take in the scene.

Paramedics and nurses are already working on the person still lying on the yellow gurney they use to transport patients in ambulances. It doesn't look like I'm needed here, but if I'm not needed, then why did they page me? The group of paramedics and nurses already working on the person talk in medical terms before they look up and see me. The person on the gurney doesn't look like they're doing too well. I see a lot of blood splattered all over the floor and a blue breathing bag being squeezed, which means they're not breathing by themself. And it's not a little kid, which is my area of expertise.

"Oh, Kevin. You're here… we need her contact information and permission to administer a sedative." One of the nurses explains to me with a panicky voice.

My permission? Why do they need my permission? I look at the person on the gurney. I'd know those run down Reebok running shoes anywhere. And I would be able to recognize that beautiful, bouncy light brown hair even if I was blind. That's Danielle…

"What happened to her?!" I push one of the men to the side and stand by her head. "What… happened?" I hold her hand to make sure it's her. That's her wedding ring on her finger. It's really her. She doesn't look good… "Give her a sedative… give her anything, I don't care…" I push her bloody hair away from her face. I see the source of the bleeding on her head is from a nasty looking gash above her left eye. My hands start to shake. "I said, WHAT HAPPENED TO HER?!"

"The bridge disaster. She was on the bridge when it collapsed." One of the nurses puts a mask over her mouth and nose. Her chest pumps up and down softly and weakly. She's breathing.

"K…kevin?" Her lips move just as weakly as her chest moves. Oh thank GOD she's responsive.

"Don't talk, baby. You're okay… you're fine." I keep playing with her hair to keep her calm. I'm trying to keep myself calm too. I just feel… defenseless. Like my wife is in mortal danger and I'm a doctor… yet I can't fix her. I can't. I lean down and kiss her cheek. "Just go to sleep, baby… and when you wake up, we can watch movies…" I rub her hands and finally begin to cry. She's going to be okay… she has to be.

The nurse turns the gas on the mask to put her to sleep. "We're going to move her into surgery to remove glass fragments from her chest and lungs… She should be out of surgery in an hour or so. We'll tell you when we move her into recovery."

"I want to sit in on the operation." I demand, not letting go of my now unconscious wife's hand. "I'm not leaving her."

"Kevin, look. I know how you must be feeling. But we have this from here. We have it. There's nothing else you can do here, besides get in the way. She's going to be fine. She crossed the bridge before it collapsed, so she caught the aftershocks of it. With us operating, it's a routine procedure. Now just wait in the waiting room." The only male nurse puts his hands on my shoulders and tries to talk me down.

"….Be careful in there." I demand from them again. I feel myself getting serious with them. "That's my WIFE. My PREGNANT wife. You be careful with both my baby and my wife. I will be watching from the balcony. If anything goes wrong, I will have each….and every one…. Of the surgeons responsible's heads… do you understand me? Listen to me. That's my WIFE and my BABY."

"Trust us, Dr. Jonas. She'll be alright."

"…She better be." I don't even want to cry. I just want to watch them operate on her. I feel so helpless.

I KNEW she shouldn't have gotten her nails done today. I just had the feeling….

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

"See? I told you that taking a break from the house helps a whole lot. Sometimes I just need to get out and when I do, I feel so much better." I open the door to the frozen yogurt parlor for Demi and keep a keen eye on her as she walks out the door. She's been in a pretty sketchy mood lately. Ever since I did that to her, she's been in a weird mood. Demi really confuses me sometimes. It's like one minute, she's down for sex and I can't help but want to have sex with her. But I don't want to keep making her feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah… it did help." She nods and rubs a strand of her black hair, getting the peanut butter frozen yogurt out of it. "I feel better." She walks slowly to the car and gets in it. I get into the driver's seat and make sure she's buckled in. As I start driving, she yawns and puts her head against the window.

"What's the matter, Demi?" I push the button to open up the sunroof. Maybe she's not getting enough air. It is a really hot day today.

"Nothing, I'm just a little…tired." She lifts her head up and stifles another yawn, but smiles. "I think when we get home, I'm gonna take a nap… or something." She looks down at her hands and folds them in her lap.

"Okay." I nod. She's tired. That's believable. We were up a little early this morning. I step on the gas pedal a little harder and drive up the main highway that exits onto the road of our house. If she's tired, I want to get home quickly so she can lie down.

"…Joe?" Her voice has a sense of tranquility in it. Through the corner of my eye, I see that she lifts her head up and turns her head towards me. "I really did like it. I liked it a lot. And I do want to do it again. I'm sorry if I made you think that I didn't like it." She grabs my free hand and holds it. "I'm really sorry, Joe."

"It's alright, beautiful." I rub her hand to make her feel like it's okay. "I know that it must be tough on you." I slow down and turn onto the road our house is on. "But we won't do it ever again. Not if it makes you feel uncomfortable. I won't ever do it again."

"No, no. I liked it. I really liked it. I'd…. I'd like to do more… I would."

I park the car in our driveway and shut it off. "Not right now. I just don't want you to feel overwhelmed or anything." I lean in and kiss her lips. "Maybe on your birthday. I don't know why you don't feel comfortable with me, but I'll never hurt you. And if there's anything you don't want to do, just let me know."

"…There's a lot you don't know about me, Joe. A lot." She shakes her head. "…How… how serious about me… are you? How serious are we?" She holds her arm in her hand and picks with her elbow, nervously.

"I don't know how serious about me you are, but I'm VERY serious about you, Demi. I really do love you…"

"If I told… I don't tell… I don't tell anyone… anything about me. But…. If you're as serious as you say you are…you need to know a couple things… but you can't tell… please. I'm t...trusting you."

"Demi… I would never. I wouldn't… I promise you, I wouldn't. I would never." I kiss her again. "You gotta let me in, though. You have… walls up. You gotta let me in. I wanna know about you." I kiss her once more. "I wanna know your favorite color… your middle name. What you are. Who you are. Who you wanna be. I wanna know you…"

"…I like purple. It's Devonne. I'm… human? I'm Demi, nice to meet you. And I want to be a child psychologist when I grow up… is that enough?" She kisses me back.

"Mmm…. It's close to enough." I tease her. "Why do you want to be a psychologist? What for?" I hold her around her lower back and kiss her cheek.

"…I just wanna help kids. Nobody helped me… so I want to help somebody…" She shrugs and clears her throat. "You know, you're really lucky to have… lucky to have your parents… both of your parents. Some kids don't realize that. I had to learn the hard way, which really sucks."

"What do you mean?" I put my hand on her kneecap.

"My mom… she was a single mom, after my dad walked out on us. He said he never really wanted kids, so he just…left. One day, he was just gone. He'd pop back in every once in a blue moon for birthdays and sometimes Christmas, but other than that… I never heard from him." She starts explaining things to me smoothly. I'm learning about her… I like it. I keep listening.

"Then there was a car dealer… at the place my mom traded her old station wagon in at. And I remember meeting him and thinking 'wow this guy is a loser'. And he test drove a new car with us, and my mom was just talking to him like they were best friends. And little did me and my sister know, they started dating. And we met him formally at his house, which happened to be a mansion. And I was totally wrong about him. He wasn't a loser. He was… he was amazing, Joe. AMAZING. He'd… he'd take us to the zoo… and on rainy days, he'd go on little "space adventures" with me and Dallas in the basement." She's genuinely smiling which makes me kind of happy.

"And then one day… he… he was…." She sighs. "I really wanted cookie dough ice cream one night. I was playing with my little sister… his daughter. I was playing with her and kind of babysitting her in a way, while he and my mom were doing their taxes in the kitchen. When they were done, I wanted ice cream. And I didn't care how he had to get it, I just wanted my ice cream. And like the best… the best dad in the world that he was…he went out and got me my ice cream. And on his way back, he was just…. Wrong place, wrong time. And he got shot, in the middle of a drive-by. Died instantly."

I feel so bad… her step dad died? Oh my goodness. "Demi, I'm sorry…" I lean over and hug her.

"…That's all the story time for today. I don't feel like talking anymore." She accepts my hug and clears her throat again. "Let's go in the house. We've been out here long enough, huh?"

"Yeah. But one more question…" I get out of the car and walk around to her side. "…Was it your step dad or your real dad that hurt you?"

"…Neither one. That's a… totally different story right there." She blows air out through her lips and sighs. We both walk up to the door and head inside. I look around and notice that nobody is home. "Where is everyone?" Demi ponders.

"…I don't… know." I look around. Usually when people leave abruptly like this, they'll leave notes on the fridge or something. I go in the fridge and sure enough, there's a little note scribbled in my mom's handwriting. I grab it off my fridge and read it: Joe & Demi, went to the hospital to be with Danielle. Get there ASAP. Xoxo, Mom & Dad.

"What's that say?" Demi leans over my shoulder.

"Danielle's in the hospital? It's a little early to have the baby… come on, we have to go." I grab the keys again and rush out the door. She struggles, but keeps up with my pace.

We rush off to the hospital.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

When Joe and I get to the hospital, it's in mass chaos. Apparently, some bridge collapsed over a sinkhole. All we need to do is get to labor floor. That's the only reason I can think of Danielle being in the hospital for. I really hope she and the baby are okay.

I don't listen to Joe as he asks the secretary where her room is. Being in the hospital is bringing me back to a time when I had to come to the hospital, only to find out that the best daddy in the world was dead. I really don't wanna think about that though.

"Come on, Demi." Joe grabs my arm and drags me back through a pair of double doors. I'm nervous to see if Danielle is okay or not. She has to be okay. I like her. She reminds me of Dallas. I follow Joe down a long hallway. He's panicky and I'm calm. I am nervous, though.

We finally reach our destination when we reach a large waiting area with yellow couches and pink walls. Mrs. Jonas is sitting on the couch next to Nick and Mr. Jonas is sitting by Frankie. Two other people are standing around, two other people that I don't know. Joe leans down and whispers in my ear. "That's Danielle's mom and dad. Okay?"

I nod. Got it.

"What's wrong with her? Where's Kevin?" Joe asks. He keeps his arm around my waist as if he's protecting me, what from I don't know.

"Kevin's in the room with her. She just got out of surgery. She was on the bridge when it collapsed." Mrs. Jonas explains. Oh my gosh. Is she okay? I'm about to seriously cry.

"She okay?" I ask. I'm good at asking questions I don't really wanna know the answer to.

"We think she's doing okay, we're waiting for Kevin to come out with the news." The little woman that is Danielle's mother answers me. She has obviously been crying.

As if he was on cue, Kevin walks right through the door of the waiting room. He's wearing his work clothes and he looks a mess. His eyes are all red and he looks like he has a heavy heart. I hope Dani's okay. We all just wait for him to say something.

"She's fine. She's awake and everything. But…. She's asking for Demi." He quickly adjusts his nametag and smooths his curly hair back.

"Me? She's asking for me?" I point to myself in disbelief. What does she want from me?

"Yeah. You. Go on back…" He waves me towards him. I let go of Joe and nervously walk towards Kevin. What could Danielle possibly want from me? Kevin takes my hand and starts walking through the door and up the hallway. I'm so scared of what's gonna happen. I'm so scared.

"…What does she want me for?" I ask him. My hands are sweaty and my nerves are shot.

"I don't know. She just asked me to check if you were here. She wants you. Don't be alarmed by the way she looks, she's okay. She just has some tubes in her, to help her with breathing and stuff. She's okay." He warns me and approaches a white door. He turns the knob and walks in. I follow behind him.

She's lying in a bed with a bunch of tubes hooked up to her. She doesn't look like she's okay, but Kevin's a doctor so I'll believe him over anything. She still looks really pretty. The only thing that's alarming is the big bloody piece of gauze on her chest and upper stomach.

Kevin walks over to her. "Hey, baby… it's me. I brought Demi in to see you. Okay? She's right here. I'll be back in a little while, okay?" He kisses the top of her head and leaves us alone in the room. I don't know what to say.

"…How do you ….feel?" Is all I can think to ask. I sit down in the chair next to her bed and just look at her. She's awake and all, she just has a tube down her throat. I hold her hand.

"Physically, I feel fine." She says, her voice hoarse and really rumbly. "I was scared as hell when that bridge went down, Demi. I really thought I was gonna die. All I kept thinking was that Kevin's gonna be so mad at me for going to get my nails done anyway. He told me not to."

"But you're okay. And that's really all that matters. Right?" I feel like I'm about to cry. I can't imagine how scary that must've been for her.

"Wrong. I'm okay… but…" She sighs and the tube in her mouth makes a weird humming noise. "I haven't even told Kevin yet, so don't… act all weird okay? I wanted you to be the first one I told…" I watch her face as tears build up in her eyes. "T… the baby." She doesn't look at me while her tears fall. "I lost it. Like it wasn't even a human or anything. Like it was my cell phone or a pair of shorts. Or car keys. I lost it."

"….Oh my god…" I give her a weird hug. She puts her arms up around me too and starts to cry. I cry with her. "I'm sorry, Dani…"

"Don't be." She sniffs. "It's just weird. Not to feel it moving anymore. And not to have the heartbeat in my stomach… it's just weird. I have nothing." She wipes her own eyes weakly.

I feel so bad.

I can't even imagine what Kevin's reaction will be.


	26. Could Have Been

**Joe's Point of View.**

"It's just us for a while. You wanna order some pizza for dinner?" I lock the door behind me and Demi as I shut it. Nick's staying over his friend's tonight and so is Frankie. Mom and Dad will home later after they help get Danielle settled in the hospital. Kevin, of course, isn't leaving her side. Kevin's been upset, for lack of better word. We all have been pretty upset. But Kevin's taking it especially hard. I'm upset too, but I'm trying not to think about it.

"Pizza's… good." Demi kicks her shoes off at the door and sits down on the couch. She's taking the news pretty hard too, but I'm guessing that's because she was the first one Dani told about the baby. I'm really gonna try not to talk about the baby for Demi's sake. I know Demi well enough to know that she doesn't take much with a grain of salt. I'm a little worried about what thinking and talking about the baby would do to her.

All of a sudden, my phone rings in my pocket. I grab it and check the caller ID. It's Camilla. I think about leaving the room to take the phone call, but I want Demi to trust me. And the way to earn her trust is number one, don't hide anything from her. I push the "answer" button and put the phone to my ear. "What, Camilla?" I say her name just to make sure Demi knows I'm talking to her.

Demi looks up and gives me a look. Her eyes squint in a way that suggests she isn't happy. I sit next to her and hold her hand to let her know that she's my one and my only.

"I have a box of your shit over here. Do you want to come get it or do you want me to bring it to you?" She asks, hastily. I half laugh at her. In a way, I'm kind of glad that I'm not with her anymore. She's such a bitch sometimes.

"Me and Demi will be over to come grab it in a minute. Leave it on the porch or something." I mumble, still glancing at Demi's cocked up face. She looks like I just pissed on her. Wait, even if I pissed on her, she'd probably look less offended. She's clearly pissed off. I push the "end" button on the call and stick my phone back in my pocket. Demi glares at me.

"I love how you just volunteer me…for shit like that. What if I don't wanna go to Camilla's with you?" She mutters, running her fingers through her long, pretty hair. She's so cute when she's angry with me. I just wanna kiss her. I'm gonna kiss her.

"I didn't wanna go over there alone with Camilla. I want you to come with me." I hover over her and lean in to kiss her. Her lips are always so smooth and glossy, my lips glide across hers with no trouble. "At least you know that I'm not doing anything with her if you come with me, baby." I put my hands under her armpits and pick her up. "Come with me."

"…Fine, I'll come. But I swear to god, if she looks at me the wrong way I'm going to kill her, Joe." She stands on her feet and lays her head against my chest. "…I hate you, Joe. I just want you to know that." She mumbles into my chest. I chuckle. She's so cute. I rub her back.

"You hate me? I can live with that." I kiss the top of her head and keep rubbing her back. "We're gonna go over Camilla's when my mom gets home. That okay with you?"

"It's gonna have to be. You're making me go with you…" She kisses my lips, spending extra time on the bottom lip. I put my hands on her butt and rub it. We can't have sex. I mean, we could but I won't do it. I won't have sex with Demi yet. I'm waiting for her birthday.

"Demi… you know we can't… right?" I kiss her some more and keep rubbing her butt. I think it's a little nuts how I love Demi. I just met her and I've only known her for a couple weeks. But I already feel so strongly about her. I don't understand how I can feel so strongly… so quickly. I really… really like her. And I really think that I love her too.

"I know… I'm not trying to…" She kisses me and pulls away, breathing hard into my mouth. My god, I want her so bad. I can't wait until it actually happens. When it happens… I can't wait until it happens. She kisses my lips deeper. "Joe, I just…" She pulls away again. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you." She holds my hand. "I'm not sure how much, but I do love you. It's like… it's like… I don't know." She shrugs and stops trying to articulate how she feels. I know that it's hard to explain, because it's hard for me to explain too. It's like…all of a sudden love. I think it's puppy love.

"I love you too." I rub her back and drag her down on the couch with me. "It doesn't make sense to me…. Why I love you, I mean. It doesn't make sense to me. But I think that's what's making it worth it. It doesn't make sense to me, but I love you." I hold her hand and rub her knuckles. She doesn't say anything else to me, but the silence doesn't need to be filled. I stare at her hands. Her tiny little hands. They fit perfectly in mine. I stare at her from head to toe, thinking about how perfect she is. I like to notice even the smallest details about her. Like the little brown beauty mark beside her bottom lip. And the beauty mark on her collarbone.

She sighs and I notice how her nostrils flare whenever she breathes through them. She has the longest eyelashes I've ever seen. Her eyes are smooth, milk chocolate brown, but still so vivid and pretty. "I wish my mom and my sister would call me back… they haven't been answering my phone calls." She sighs again and tucks a wavy strand of black hair behind her tiny little ear.

"Maybe they're busy or something." I hate seeing her so upset, so I quickly think of something to counteract her thoughts. "Come downstairs with me… I have something to show you that I think you'll like." I spring up off the couch and grab her hands. I'm not supposed to take anybody where I'm about to take her, but I have good reason to believe my dad wouldn't mind. She stands up and fixes her blue jean shorts as I lead her through a door in the kitchen and down a flight of steps to the basement.

"Something that I'd like? A basement? Oh…yeah. I love basements." She's heavy on the sarcasm and I just give her hand a light squeeze. I flick the lights to the basement on. It took my dad a whole year to fully finish this basement. I sleep down here sometimes, because there's a nice couch with a pull out bed and a flatscreen TV down here. My mom mostly comes down here to run on the treadmill or get on the stair-stepper.

"It's obviously not only a basement, genius." I approach the wooden door that's beneath the steps we came down. "Nobody but my dad… and occasionally Nick is allowed down here. But I don't think he'd care if you were down here." I punch in the code on the keypad to unlock the door and push it open. I watch Demi's face as I turn the lights on in the special room.

Her face lights up for a moment. Her pretty brown eyes widen and her jaw drops briefly. "…No… Way…" She whispers and looks around. I will say, my dad outdone himself with it. He built it himself, mostly. He installed the soundproof red velvet and satin padded walls. He rolled the brown carpet down himself. Demi immediately walks over to the stool and takes a seat, staring at the booth.

"We're not down here for no reason…" I shut the door behind us and open up the plexi-glass door to the booth. "I'll hook you up. Go head in…" I watch with satisfaction as she walks into the tiny room and stands in front of the circular microphone like she's at home. "You ever been in one of these?"

She shakes her head fast. "Once… m…my dad… he brought me to one. But it was just for play. Like… he wanted me to get some exposure in a studio, but it was just once…" She sits down on the stool inside the booth. I think Demi likes singing, a lot more than she's willing to admit. "….THERE'S A GUITAR!" She shrieks. Her face is priceless, and worth any punishment I might receive for bringing her here.

"You play?" I step into the booth with her and hand her the clean wooden six string.

"…Yeah. I used to." She nods and holds the guitar like a professional. She doesn't even use a pick, she plucks the strings with her bare fingers. I listen as she plays a soft G chord. She's good. She's really good. My dad would absolutely love her. "I used to write songs when I was younger. They're all really embarrassing, though." She strums a soft tune, sliding her fingers all along the frets.

"…Sing me one." I ask her. I'm curious to hear what she wrote. I lean against a wall and wait for her to start singing.

"…You can't laugh. I know it's childish… but please don't laugh. I've only finished one song. And it's kind of….not good." She looks at me. I nod to tell her that I won't laugh and I listen. She licks her lips and taps on the guitar. I see her whisper to herself, "1…2…3…4…" And she starts strumming a new tune, a softer tune.

"_When I think I'm closer to the heaaaart…. Or when I need to know just whooo I am…. I finally found the better place to staaaart… but no one will ever understaaand… I want to try to get to where you aaaare…. Possibly… you're not that faaaar. You're the voice I hear inside my head…. The reason that I'm singing, I need to find yoooou. I want to find yoooou. You're the missing piece I need…. The wrong that brings out the right in me…. I need to find you…. I want to find you…" _She sings a little bit. Her voice is perfect. It sounds like an angel is singing for her. "…I know it's not that good. And the lyrics kind of suck, but…. I…"

"No, no. No, Demi. It's fine. It's perfect. Just a few little… here, let me." I pull an extra stool over and place it next to hers. She puts down the guitar and I walk to the mixing room and grab an empty notepad and a pencil. "I liked the entire verse and the chorus was good too. But there are some lyrics that we could change."

"Like what?" She nods and leans over to watch me write whatever I write down in the notepad. From memory, I jot down the lyrics to the first verse.

"The first line. I think we can change a few things from that, don't you think? Like… maybe instead of when… try this. Here. Grab the guitar." I tell her. She picks up the guitar and puts it on her lap. "Here, substitute the When for something more practical. Try sometimes." I brainstorm with her. She tries it out.

"_Sometimes I think I'm closer to the heaaart…"_ She lets it roll off her tongue. "No. No. Sometimes isn't right. Let's try every time." She puts her input into it too. _"Every time I think I'm closer to the heaaaart…" _

"That's perfect." I write down the new lyrics. "Try this, babe. Try…" I move her hand to a lower fret and sing something I came up with. "What it means to know just who I am…."

She nods. "That's good."

We brainstorm together, and I really think we're onto something. I think I'll show my dad the final product. This is actually turning out good.

* * *

**Dallas's Point of View.**

"There's one…. Does that mean we're close?" Madison sticks her hand out the window to point to at a green sign with white letters. It says that New Jersey is in approximately 1,000 miles. We're definitely going to make it there before Demi's birthday. She was talking our ears off, so my mom told her to play "the quiet game" where she just points out green signs with white letters. She's pretty good at the quiet game, but I'm a little worried about what she'll do when she realizes there is no prize for the winner.

"Yeah, baby. We're close. We're close." My mom takes a drag of her long white cigarette and blows the smoke out the window as she maintains her speed on the freeway. I stare out the window. We've been driving along a flat freeway for nearly a half hour now. I get chills just imagining how Demi must've felt walking in this for the four months.

I'm just glad we're finally going to get Demi. It's been hell for the last six months. The month was the toughest, having to hide her every time the police would come to the house to question us. We got a little tired of lying to them. I think it really broke my mom's heart when she woke up one morning and Demi's bed was empty, nothing but a piece of yellow notebook paper explaining her disappearance. My mom always vowed to Madison and me that when the police heist calmed down a little, we would go get her. I'm glad we're finally doing it.

"She's gonna be so happy to see us." I shake my head and keep dreamlessly staring out the window. It's gonna be so surreal for me to finally see her. For a while, she's only been a voice over the phone. I'm finally gonna get to hold her and hug her and kiss her. "Are you sure we've got a place to stay in South Carolina? With Uncle Dave?"

"I talked to David last night, Dallas." Mom throws her cigarette out the window and rolls it up. "He said that we can stay with him until we find a place of our own. Stop acting like you're my mother, Dallas. I'm your mom, not the other way around. Loosen up, baby." She gives me a pat on my bare knee. She's always calling us "her babies" and "her lovies."

I just look over at her. She looks so tired and rundown. Her strawberry blonde hair is pulled up into a ponytail and her once tight face has laugh lines and frown lines. She's tired, but it's not the kind of tired that sleep can cure. "…Can I have one of those?" I ask in regards to her cigarettes.

"No way. It's okay for me to smoke, but I'm not letting you smoke. Nope. No way. No, no, no." She grabs the pack with one hand and buries it between her legs so that I can't see them. "Out of sight, out of mind, lovey."

"I'm 22, mom. I can legally smoke…" I remind her.

"Smoking is bad for you, Dally." Maddie takes it upon herself to be the health police. I cringe at the way she calls me "Dally." God, that's such a terrible nickname. I don't mind my name. I actually kind of like it. But there aren't many suitable nicknames for me with a name like Dallas.

"You know what else is bad for you, Maddie?" I turn around to face her. "Running your damn mouth too much. People in the Mexican mafia get their heads chopped off for talking too much, you know." I inform her. Her eyes get big and her chubby cheeks droop into a frown.

"Dallas Leigh, why would you tell her that?" Mom backhands me on the shoulder for it. "She's just joking, baby. She wasn't serious, Maddie." Mom backhands me again, harder this time. I can't help but laugh a little bit. "Maddie, you can call her 'Dally' for the rest of the trip. I allow you."

"You better not, you little shrimp. You call me 'Dally', and I'm telling the Mexican mafia to cut your head off." She looks at me like I'm bluffing.

"I don't know why you hate 'Dally' so much. I think it's a cute little name. I used to call you Dally all the time when you were a baby, lovey." Mom pats my knee again.

"I just hate that name. Why'd you even name me 'Dallas'? It's so manly. You could've spelled it differently. Like Dallys, Dallyce, Dalis, or Dallice. Why the manly way?" I question her, pointing to the road to remind her to take the right exit off the interstate.

"Because you're a man." Madison laughs hard, really getting a kick out of that. It wasn't that funny.

"I wasn't really going for creativity, Dallas. You should be thanking the lord you got the name that you did and not Houston or San Antonio. Your dad was pushing to name you Lucy. Thank me for not giving the world a Lucy Lovato."

"…Lucy? Was he serious?" I tune my nose up. Ew. "I would've been Lucy Leigh Lovato, that's terrible. Oh my god, he couldn't have thought that was a good name."

"Yep. There were a couple pretty bad ones that your dad threw out there. He liked Lucy, Lilly and Terri. But if you weren't Dallas, you were gonna be Alexia. That's the only other name I liked. And poor Demi. He wanted to name her Genevieve." I just listen as she complains about what we could've been. I could've been Lucy, Lilly, Terri or Alexia. And Demi could've been… Genevieve?

"….If Demi wasn't Demetria, what would she be?" I tap my fingers against the button to roll the windows down.

"If Demi wasn't Demetria, she was going to be Hannah. Actually, Demi was Hannah for a week after she was born. We changed it to Demetria after taking her home, before they could print it on her birth certificate. Your aunt Katherine is responsible for changing her from Hannah to Demi." I can tell that mom enjoys telling us about it.

"What about me? If I wasn't Maddie, what would I be?" Madison leans forward and rests her elbows on the compartment between the seats.

"You were always going to be Madison. But your daddy thought about spelling it with a T. Like M-a-t-t-i-s-o-n. I told him he was nuts. I wasn't going to have my little girl called 'Mattie.' I didn't like that. So we stuck with the M-a-d-i-s-o-n." Mom stops at a toll booth.

I look over at her again. "…Tell us more, mom. About when we were babies." I put my head against the headrest and listen. To be honest, I like hearing about Demi the most. Maybe it's just because I miss her so terribly, but I love hearing about her when she was a baby.

"Well… you…" Mom tosses a handful of change into the toll bin and waits for the arm to allow us through. "You were a crybaby, Dallas. If anyone looked at you, you would cry. And Demi was the total opposite. She would go to anyone who wanted her. And she was smiley. And Maddie was a daddy's baby. All she wanted was her daddy."

It still hurts to think about him. I still miss him like crazy. I don't want to talk about him anymore. I don't want to cry. I clear my throat and speak up. "So, uh…. According to the GPS, we'll be in New Jersey in seven hours. But we're not driving straight through. So we'll be there tomorrow, basically."

"…I'd say about two days. We should be there the night before Demi's birthday. Because we'll only be in the state, Dal. That doesn't count the time we need to get to the specific city she's in. So two days. We'll stop two more times."

"Two more days… that's all." I sigh and think about it. I can't wait to see her. We all can't wait to see her. It's killing me not to tell her that we're coming. But we want to surprise her for her birthday, so I have to keep my mouth shut. Two more days.

We're coming, Demi.


	27. I Can Do It

**Demi's Point of View.**

"Demi, sweetheart; can you grab the chives from the fridge for me? They should be in the crisper with the lettuce." Mrs. Jonas asks me, lightly fluttering around the kitchen like a mid-flight butterfly. She's gathering up all the ingredients she needs to make dinner for the night. Danielle's coming home from the hospital today, and she wants everything to be perfect. She reminds me of my mom…if my mom could cook. I walk to the refrigerator and look down in the crisper to grab the thin, green chives.

"…Are these them?" I hold up a plastic bag filled with thin green stringy looking things. I've never actually seen chives before. I'm just guessing that this is what they are…

"Yeah, yeah honey. That's it. Bring 'em here." She waves her hands out to me. I hand them to her and watch as she chops them. I obviously can't learn to cook from my mom, so I'd like to learn from Mrs. Jonas, if I could. She chops them really thin and sprinkles them over a bowl of mashed potatoes. "So… your birthday's tomorrow. Any thought of what you might want?" She starts slicing a red bell pepper.

"…Uhh… I thought the cell phone was my present…" I start cleaning off the counter for her. "With all due respect, Mrs. Jonas… I don't really… feel comfortable accepting anything else from you guys. You've already done so much for me. I'd like for tomorrow to just… be a normal day…. If you don't mind." I put my hands on my hips and rock back and forth. I hope she's not insulted.

"That's okay, sweetie. It's totally up to you. Whatever you want, we'll do. I just see nothing wrong with treating you to a nice dinner… or maybe a trip to the beach fair. Something that all the family can enjoy to celebrate. It IS your birthday, after all." She puts the red peppers into a roast pan with the still raw pot roast.

"…Whatever is the cheapest. I'll… I'll do whatever. I'm not picky…" My phone buzzes against my butt in my back pocket. I fish it out and check it. I have two text messages, one from Joe and one from Dallas. They're the only two people I ever text. Sometimes, I miss the friends I used to have. They probably don't remember me, though. I didn't spend more than three grades at a time in a school. Kindergarten in New Mexico, first grade in Texas. Third grade in a private school because Daddy wanted us to have the best. Up until he died freshman year, that was the longest time I spent in a school. It was back to a public school when mom met him. I didn't have many best friends. I had plenty of associates, though. Daddy put me in a gymnastics class, so I was a pretty good cheerleader. But I only had one friend I really remember. Her name was Marissa, and I haven't heard from her in over a year. I really miss her sometimes; she was the best friend I'd ever had.

"Demi, honey. I have to talk to you about some things that have really been bothering me…" Denise cracks open a can of corn and dumps it into the pot. She's so natural at cooking that she can hold full conversations while she's preparing the food and never even so much as burn anything.

"…Okay, shoot." I rest my hands on the granite countertop and tap my nails to distract myself from the fact that 'we have to talk' never means something good when it's starting a conversation. I haven't done anything wrong as of late. So I can't really narrow it down to one reason why she could want to be speaking with me.

"Well, first and foremost, I need to talk about the incident that happened three days ago. I think you should know that I am strongly against fighting. I don't believe in fighting, my boys don't fight, and I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't fight in this house anymore." She scrubs her hands in the sink and stirs the corn with a silver spoon. "Joseph told me that it wasn't your fault, that Camilla attacked you and you retaliated by hitting back. I completely understand that, but I don't want anything like that to happen again. By all means, defend yourself. Defend yourself until you're blue in the face. But no violence in this house, please."

"Yes ma'am." I nod once. I completely understand where she's coming from, I guess. She has a very young son that lives here, and as much as I dislike Camilla, I understand her, because I wouldn't want anyone to exert that kind of influence on Madison, either. "I'm sorry."

"Don't mention it, sweetheart." She dries her hands on a dishtowel and faces me. "Now, onto the more important things…" It's three in the afternoon, but she pours herself a cup of coffee. "So, as we're all aware… this Friday, it will be three weeks since you came to stay with us. And you still have no plans to stay, but I don't think you have plans to leave either. I was just wondering where you stand. You said your folks are coming to get you sooner or later, right? Well that's the status on that? I would still really like for you to stay with us…"

"…I'm not sure." I answer her honestly. I really don't know where that whole thing stands. Both my mom and Dallas are really pissing me off. Dallas doesn't answer my phone calls, but she'll answer my texts. My mom doesn't answer anything at all. They won't tell me if they're coming to get me or not. I'm starting to think they like it better with me gone, otherwise they would've made it a point to find me already, right? "I… don't know if they're coming or not. I haven't spoken to them about it."

"Demi, I would really love it if you stayed here. We all love you. It would really make me… and everyone happy if you let us give you a permanent home." She takes a quick sip of her coffee and puts her cup back down on the glass table. I just stare at her. I want to accept but… "It's really no pressure, honey. Just know that if you ever decide that you want to stay with us, you're always welcome here."

I just feel like I'm safe from the outside world with the Jonases. I wish I was born into a family like this. I feel like no matter what goes on in the world around this quiet little house, as long as I'm in these doors, I'm safe. And that's something I haven't felt in a really, really long time. "Mrs. Jonas… I could…. I could NEVER tell you… how… how extremely… and eternally grateful I am for you. You… and your family mean everything to me. I would love… nothing more than to… be a part of this… this…this FAMILY. But I…I… I just can't. I can't do this." I use my index fingers and wipe my eyes.

"I'm sorry to make you cry, darling. I wasn't trying to make you cry, hon. I just… I look at you. And I see this beautiful… BEAUTIFUL little girl. And you need a mother. I would give anything to be your mother, Demetria." She walks over to me and gives me a long hug. I burrow my face in her chest and allow myself to cry. She plays with my hair as we hug. "I'm not sure what kind of person your mother is… maybe she's a good mom. Maybe she's a bad mom. But all I know is… if you were my little girl… I would not have taken this long to come get you." She rubs my back.

"…She's a good mom. She was a good mom." I sniff and mumble into her shirt. The fabric is really soft and she smells heavily of peppermint and perfume. Maybe Mrs. Jonas is a little bit right. I'm not sure why my mom and Dallas and Madison are taking so long to find me. I don't know if they're really looking. But there are some things that go into this that Mrs. Jonas will NEVER understand.

"I'm sure your mom is lovely. She raised a lovely baby girl." Denise finally lets me go and pulls away to look at me. "Why don't you go get washed up for dinner? Danielle and Kevin should be home soon, and after two days in the hospital, I'm sure they'll want to see everyone in their best."

"Okay." I clear my throat and wipe my face some more. I turn and leave the kitchen. I feel so bad about declining every time she asks. I'm making a promise to myself that next time she offers, I'm going to accept. If I still haven't heard from my mom or Dallas, that is. I keep my head down and walk upstairs to my room. I have such impeccable timing. As I'm walking to my room, Nick walks out of his room. We still haven't talked about it.

"Hey…" I mumble just to be nice. It'd be awful rude of me to walk past him without saying anything.

"Hey… were you crying?" He stops me and hands me a small wad of tissues from his pants pocket. They're a little warm, but tissues are tissues.

"Yeah, I was just…. Talking to your mom about some things." I take the tissues from him. "Thanks." I dab my eyes with them and lick my lips. "I'm fine though."

"…Sorry about my mom. She just really likes you. She has a nasty habit of getting really attached to girls. She's always wanted a daughter, you know." He pulls a folded sheet of white paper from his pocket. "I was supposed to give you this a while ago, but it's been slipping my mind. So here." He hands me the sheet of paper. "It's the song we're supposed to sing."

"Oh, thanks." I open up the sheet and look at it. It doesn't have a title. I'm glad I didn't have to write on it, because writing the song I've been writing with Joe is actually a lot more work than it seems. It's been nearly two days, and we're still not finished with the song. "What's it called?"

"I'm not sure. My dad didn't tell me, he just told me to look over it. I haven't really been looking over it though, so I don't know which key it's supposed to be sung to. I think we have to get together sometime and figure out the key to sing it to." He tousles his hair and sighs.

Get together? He can't possibly still think we're an item, can he? "Sure… we'll have to… get together…" I stumble over that last part.

He chuckles. "Don't worry about me, Demi. I didn't mean it like that. I wouldn't… just so you know. I wouldn't try anything with you while you're in a relationship with Joe. That's breaking the guy code. I mean it as friends. Truce?" He offers his hand out for me to shake.

I crack a soft smile and shake his hand. "Truce." I agree with a light nod. Well now that everything between me and Nick is settled, I feel a little relieved. I'm glad Nick's not harboring any negative feelings towards me. I'm glad we're able to be just friends.

Joe will be so happy to see that we're friends.

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

"Come on, Frank. Help me out here. Which one would you get if you were a girl?" I hold Frankie's hand as we walk around the store. I've been looking for 45 minutes now, and I still have no luck. I haven't seen any that I find good enough for her.

"I said get her that pink and black one up there." He points to it. It's a beauty. It has a sleek black neck, and the form of it is beautiful and shiny. It even has little pink spirals all over it. I'd love to get it for Demi. But there's only one problem with it…

"It's an electric one, Frankie. She doesn't play electric. We need to get an acoustic one. Look over on this side." I point him in the right direction and look while he does. The acoustic guitars are either too boring and plain or too childish. I can't find a suitable one that isn't brown, and I can't find one without hello kitty on it. I keep looking around.

"…Wait! What about that one? It's girly… but not too kiddish." Frankie points to one that's high up. It's dark purple with white tie-dye marks in it. The neck of it is clean white with black strings and purple frets. It's really nice. It's perfect for her. She likes purple.

"That's perfect, Frankie you're a genius." I keep staring at it. This is the one I'm getting. I'm sure of it. It's perfect. It has Demi's name written all over it. "…Excuse me, ma'am." I alert the sales attendant. She comes from behind the service desk and approaches us. "I would like that purple one up there. Does it come with a pick?"

"This?" She grabs a large stick and lifts it up to hook it around the neck of the guitar. She brings it down to my level. "Yes, this comes with its very own custom pick. It's wooden and it's very durable, both the pick and the guitar are made from the finest cherry wood." She lets me hold the guitar. It's very heavy.

"If I wanted you to customize it, would it be available for pickup tomorrow morning?" I don't exactly know the first thing about guitars. Demi would be able to tell me if it's a good guitar or not. I think it's good. It's nice and strong.

"Yes. You just have to tell me what you would like. How would you like it?" She grabs a sheet of paper and walks back over to her desk. "Your name, address and phone number first of all?"

"Joseph Jonas… uh… 928 Ellwood Road, Wyckoff. 234-555-0909." I put the guitar down on the service desk and stare at it. How would Demi like it?

"How would you like it customized?" She looks up at me, eager to write.

"Um… can I get a couple… some rhinestones on the frets. And around the circle, I'd like rhinestones there too. And that's it for the actual guitar. Now, on the pick, I'd like to get 'Demi' woodburned into it. It's spelled D-E-M-I. I would like it if you could put a hole… through the top of the pick. And maybe string a chain through it? Like a necklace. And and… dot the I…. In Demi… dot the I with a rhinestone. Please…" Demi's gonna love it. I can't wait to see her face.

"It'll be… $234.76. That includes the cost of the guitar, the pick and the customization."

I nod and pull my wallet out of my pocket. I don't just have $230 to spend. I've been saving up my allowance for a long time, but I'll spend any amount of money to make Demi happy. I always feel better if I spend my allowance. Specifically because I don't like asking my parents for money. They'll give it to me if I need it. But I hardly ever ask for it. I should probably get a job. I hand the lady $235 in cold, hard cash.

She gives me my change in my hand and hands me a slip of paper. "This is your order slip. Present this tomorrow at approximately 12:30, and we'll give you the guitar. You're all set to go."

Frankie tugs at my hand. "Come ON, Joe. We're gonna be late for the dinner and mom's gonna kill us."

"Okay, okay." I smile at the lady. "Thank you. Have a good one, ma'am." I wave at the woman with the hand that's not holding Frankie's and head towards the exit of the guitar shop. "We gotta make one more stop before we go home, Frank." I mess with his hair and get back into the car.

"Where do we have to go?" Frankie rolls the lollipop I bought him into the corner of his left cheek and slurps. He buckles his seatbelt and rolls down the window.

"I have to go grab something from the drugstore. I'll be real quick, buddy." I look backwards through my mirror and pull out of the parking lot. I'm not sure when it's gonna happen, but I wanna be prepared for it. I promised Demi I would, and I don't plan on breaking that promise. Now since I'm not gonna break that promise, I gotta make sure we're protected. It might happen tonight. It might happen tomorrow night. Whenever it happens, I gotta be prepared.

"Jojo?" He mutes the radio and takes his sucker out of his mouth. His lips are all purple. "Are you and Demi gonna get married and have babies like Kevvy and Dani? Or are you just friends with Demi that sleep together in the bed?" He's such an inquisitive little thing.

"You know… I'm not sure, Frank. Whatever happens… happens. If I get married to Demi, then I get married to Demi. If I have a baby with Demi, then I have a baby with Demi. Me and Demi might even break up. You can never predict the future, bud." I turn into the parking lot of Rite Aid. "You comin' in the store with me or are you sitting in here?"

"…Can I have more candy if I come in?" He throws his lollipop out the window.

"…Sure, why not?" I get out of the car and he follows me into the store. "Go pick out your candy, buddy. I'll be right over with you. I just gotta go grab something." I walk straight to the aisle they're in. I'm not sure which ones I want. I can't buy Durex condoms, nor can I buy LifeStyle ones. Durex and LifeStyle are too small for me, not to brag. I pick up a purple box of Trojans. It's been forever since I've bought a different kind of condoms. I always buy the Trojan ones, but they're always the basic kind. I wanna spice it up a little with Demi. I wouldn't dare have sex with Demi raw. I have to use protection with her. She means more to me than some slip up with me forgetting to pull out.

Well, the purple box looks promising. They're called "bare-skin" condoms. I guess it's supposed to feel like nothing is there. I'll try anything once. And if we don't like them, I think I still have a couple of the ones Camilla and I used. "Alright, Frank, let's go." I call up the candy aisle. He has a big bag of M&Ms.

I put the condoms and the M&Ms on the checkout counter. I used to get all embarrassed buying condoms, but I don't anymore. Better safe than sorry. Frankie grabs his candy off the counter after I pay for it and heads out to the car. I grab my change and my bag and go out to the car.

"Jojo, what are those?"

I feel my eyes get wide. I don't want to explain to him. But the kid is a little older now. I guess I can stand to tell him something about them… "They're condoms, Frank. Remember when me and Nick told you about babies and how babies are made?"

"Yeah, when a boy and a girl do it. I don't think I ever wanna do it with a girl, Jojo. That's just weird and girls freak me out down there."

I chuckle. "You'll come around, bud. Trust me, you will. But anyway, condoms are to make sure a girl doesn't get pregnant and have a baby. That's what condoms are."

"Did you buy those for Demi? Are you and Demi gonna do it?"

"We might." I round the bin to go home. My mom is gonna be so mad, because we're really late for dinner.

"…Why do you and Nick and Kevvy like doing it? That's… weird. I'll never do it."

"You'll see when you're older, Frankus. It's not all you think it is, trust me bud."

"Okay, Jojo."

* * *

**Kevin's Point of View.**

"Don't worry, I'll grab it babe." I stand up and reach across the table to hand Dani the bread and butter. She's still not supposed to be doing much, otherwise she won't properly heal down there. It was cruel what they had to do to her, really. They had to go in and make sure all the baby was out. It was sick. But, Dani's been a trooper through it all. I know she's just as upset as I am. But I guess it just wasn't meant to be. It does suck, knowing that I'll never get to meet my son, though.

"Thanks." She slouches down in her chair and weakly spreads butter across her bread. It's easier on her if she slouches. She still has a little bit of pain in her abdomen and her lungs. I give her cheek a light kiss. I hate seeing her like this. She's still a little bit tired, though, so I'll excuse her weariness.

"So, Dani… Are you hungry? I made your favorite." My mom tries to talk to her in a way that doesn't trigger her, but I know that Dani doesn't like it. She doesn't want to be treated any differently. She wants to forget about the bridge accident and the miscarriage. I can't say I blame her. I'd like to forget too. I took the next two weeks off work. I just don't have the energy to go anymore.

"Mhm." She nods and bites into her bread. I watch as she weakly chews. I rub her back.

"So, me and Demi cleaned you guys' room up today. There are fresh sheets on the bed and stuff…" Joe speaks up this time.

"I could've done it." Dani says in a harsh whisper. She could have done it, but I probably wouldn't have let her clean up the room. She's not supposed to do much. No lifting, no vigorous activity. Nothing that could potentially prevent her from healing the way she's supposed to heal from the miscarriage.

"How many pieces of pot roast do you want, Dani?" My mom hovers over her with the pot of roast in her hands. The roast smells so good. "You want one… two? Three, maybe?"

"I can do it!" She hastily pushes her chair out from the table and gets up with sharp movements. "I had a miscarriage, not a leg amputation. And I'd like to just forget about it, if you all don't mind. But you're all making it impossible to do when you keep REMINDING me that I can't MOVE or practically DO anything because I lost my baby… just let me forget. Please." She storms away from the dining room and goes upstairs.

"…Let me go get her. Sorry, guys." I apologize for her and push my chair out too. "Go head and eat without us. We'll be back." I rush upstairs after Dani before she can lock the door. She tends to do that. When we fight, she locks me out and barricades herself in for hours. She says it helps her calm down before she loses her sanity.

I knock on the door. "Danielle… Dani. Let me in…" I'm too late. She locked the door already.

"Just go away for a second before I lose it… I'll be out in a little bit… geez." She doesn't even sound like she's crying. I just hope she lets me in soon.

I need her just as much as she needs me.

I miss the baby too.

This is the hardest thing I've ever went through.


	28. 12:00

**Nick's Point of View.**

"So… you're thinking 'world' should be the main focus? What about 'alone'? That seems more practical, don't you think?" I hold the sheet of paper so that we can both see it. She's so close to me that she's breathing down my neck. Her breath smells good…like she just brushed her teeth or something. "I think alone should be the main vocal focus, because the song is about being left alone, right?"

"Yes, that's your interpretation of it. But I was thinking we could sing it to make it about being in love, right? It doesn't have to be completely about being left alone. Like…. If we changed the 'we can't stop this town from being involved with us' to something more… loving. I don't want to go for a Rumors by Lindsay Lohan vibe"." She suggests, grabbing the pencil from behind my ear and scribbling over the line. "What if we did like…" She taps the pencil on the paper. "…Something like 'you can't stop a girl from falling deeper in love with you…"

"…Okay, that could work." I change the lyrics for her. My dad won't be too pleased to find that we made changes to his song lyrics, but he'll be fine when he hears the route we're going. I don't want to keep bringing it up, but it would be a lot easier to write a love song with Demi if I wasn't under the circumstances I'm in. Don't get me wrong. I'm VERY happy for Joe. I'm happy that he's happy and I'm happy that he makes Demi happy. But I can't shake the sad feeling I get in my stomach when I think about how she was mine first.

"…Do you like the changes, Nick? I mean, it's both of our song. You can contribute something to it… if you want. You don't have to like the changes… they're just suggestions." She backs away from me and crosses her legs. "We can keep the song the same as when your dad wrote it… I was just… you know… trying to… I don't know." She swipes something invisible off her leg.

"No, no. It's fine, Demi. Really, it is. I like the changes too. I'm just a little tired, that's all." I put my hand behind my head and scratch at an itch that's really not existent. "So… I think maybe we should quit for the night? We can pick back up tomorrow or something, it's getting a little late…."

"Okay." She gets up off the floor and brushes her legs off some more. "We'll talk more about it tomorrow… um… goodnight?" She extends her hand out to me for a handshake. I stare at her. She's still very pretty. I find that I still have a slight crush on her. But it's not as intense as it used to be. I used to bounce back fairly quickly from girls, but I admit that this one is taking me a little long to do so.

Nevertheless, I take Demi's hand in mine and shake it. "Goodnight, Demi. See you tomorrow morning." She turns to leave, and something in my head reminds me about it something. I walk over to my nightstand before she can leave and grab something from my drawer. "Here. Happy early birthday, Demi." I extend my hand and drop the two Hershey kisses in her hand. It's not an ideal birthday gift, but it's something. All girls like chocolate, right?

She stares at them like she doesn't know that she's supposed to eat them. "Thank you, Nick. I can't tell you the last time I had Hershey kisses…" She closes her hand and gives me an awkward hug that wraps her arms around my chest but keeps our distance between each other. "You're really sweet."

I half smile and shrug. "Have a good sleep." I pat her back and let her continue on her way out the door. She shuts my door behind her as she leaves. I really need to brush up on my game. It's taking me longer than I'd anticipated to get over Demi. I need to move on, and move on quick. I sigh and turn my lamp on and my big light out.

I pull the covers back on my bed and get in. I half wonder if tomorrow is going to be a long day. Knowing my mom, she's going to have something planned for Demi's birthday. My mom loves Demi a little too much, but I suppose she's justified in loving her. She loves Dani the same way, but probably a little more because Danielle actually has a mother. Demi doesn't have a mother so I think my mom's a little softer towards Demi. My mom's always wanted a little Italian girl.

I sigh and roll over in my bed, pulling the sheets up closer to my arms. I glance over at the clock. It's 11:45. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what goes on tomorrow. I cup my hand over my mouth, yawn and close my eyes. It's time to go to sleep. After all, tomorrow is going to be a really busy day, I presume.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

I place the two Hershey kisses on my dresser before climbing into bed. I think tonight is the night where I can fall asleep without Joe. He would have mentioned something earlier about sleeping together to night, so I assume he doesn't want to. Which is totally okay with me, I have to learn to sleep without him anyway. I'm really tired, so hopefully I'll just fall asleep too quickly to realize he's not there. I shut my lights off and crawl between my sheets. Ten minutes until I'm eighteen.

I push the lock button on my phone to make it light up. Make that nine minutes. My mom and Dallas haven't spoken to me all day. Thinking about it, the offer that Mrs. Jonas proposed to me is sounding better and better. I'm beginning to think that maybe my family isn't coming for me. I'm starting to think that maybe they were just telling me that the whole time. They don't really care about me. They don't care if I'm scared, hurt, cold or lonely. They don't care. If they cared, they would've found me already. What's taking them so long?

Eight minutes until I turn eighteen. I like it here. Thinking back on the last five months of my life, I realize how much I needed a place like this. A place where there's a mom who cooks breakfast, lunch and dinner for her family. A place where there's heat, where there's warmth, where I can lie my head down at night and not be afraid of what's going to happen in the morning. I don't have to worry about what garbage can I'm going to scour for food. I don't have to worry about my toenails cracking and making my feet bleed. I don't have to freeze at night, hide away in a bus so that I don't get hypothermia.

I check the clock on my phone again. Five minutes until I turn eighteen. I'm not sure how I feel. I don't know if I'm excited to turn eighteen or if I'm dreading it. It sounds sick, but I sort of wish that I had gone on the run a little sooner. Kevin and Danielle wanted to adopt me. That would work… if I wasn't about to turn into an adult. I don't feel like I'm just now turning into an adult.

One minute until my birthday. Suddenly, the heavy wooden door that shuts my room out opens up. I spring up, bracing myself on my elbows. It's dark, so I can't see who it is, though I'm sure it's the back of Joe pushing the door open with his butt. In the darkness, a little light from something in his hand shines brightly. It's fire. "What are you doing?" I ask as he inches closer to me.

"Happy birthday to you… happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to my baby… happy birthday to you." He sings to me, and he's not half bad. He's a good singer. I like his singing. He brings the object with fire closer to me and sits it down on the dresser. "Make a wish baby girl…" He sits down on the bed next to me and puts his hand on my lower back.

I wish my mom would come get me. I blow the candles out and smile. He flips the soft light on and I can see now that there was a candle stuck in the middle of a chocolate Hostess cupcake. I keep smiling. That was so sweet that brought me a cupcake. "Thank you." I give him a tongue-less kiss on the lips and break my cupcake into two pieces. "Want half?"

"Sure do." He grabs the smaller half and eats it. "So let's go to bed. We have a lot to do tomorrow, huh?" He licks the cream filling off his thumb and walks over to his side of the bed. I finish off my half of cupcake and get in bed too. "Mom's thinking about taking a family trip to the beach for your birthday. Dani's gonna let you borrow one of her bathing suits."

"That sounds okay, but I told your mom I didn't really want anything for my birthday." I scoot over and lay my head on his chest, playing with the hair that's below his belly button. I inhale his scent, he smells like axe. I remember a specific promise he made to me. "…Joe?" I keep pulling on his happy trail hair.

"What, baby?" His cool breath blows down on my face and he combs his fingers through my knotty hair. His fingertips brush along my lower back softly and delicately.

"Remember you said we could… on my birthday?" I drum my fingers along his bellybutton. I wonder if he's gonna stick to his promise.

"…Yeah, but…" He grunts and pulls me closer to him. "I don't want to if you're not ready. And I don't think you're ready." A soft kiss gets planted on my forehead. "Don't do it if you don't wanna do it. Don't do it just because you think I want to. It's all up to you, baby." He weaves his fingers through mine and holds my hand.

"I am ready, though. I won't tell you I want it if I don't." I swallow hard and sigh. I do want it. I know I do. I'm a little nervous, to tell the truth. But I want Joe. Like I've never wanted anyone before, I want Joe. I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it. I really wouldn't. I'm scared of what's gonna happen after we do it, though. I've only had sex once…er… twice. I think it'll be better with Joe when I do it, because I actually want to do it with him.

"…Okay. I bought us some condoms at the drugstore. I'll go get them." He gets up and leaves the room. I take this time to freshen up or whatever. I should be clean down there. I took a shower today. Not that he really cares, I mean he put his mouth down there already. I really hope I don't smell bad. I lift my arms and sniff my armpits. They still smell like deodorant. I blow my breath into my hand and smell it. It doesn't smell horrible. What am I stressing for? It's just Joe.

He comes back into the room with a box in his hand. I wonder how he figured to buy condoms. I guess he didn't forget about the promise he made me after all. "Did you miss me?" He shuts and locks the door behind him and clambers in the bed with me.

"Very much so." I nod and giggle. "Even though you were only gone for two seconds, I missed you." I hold his hand and play with his fingers. He leans over and kisses my cheek, right below my ear. I reach up and curl my hand through his hair as he kisses me. I use my finger to bring his mouth to meet mine. He sucks on my bottom lip, as he always does.

I'm nervous about this, but I just want to do it. It's gotta just come natural to me. I can't think about it too much. I'll just shut my mind off for a little while. Joe said he's "not a minute man", so this could take hours. He said he likes to go for hours, right?

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

As we kiss, her hand wonders down past my stomach, stopping at my thickening hardness. I suck her tongue further into my mouth and put my hands on her tiny waist, pushing her down until her body is flat against the mattress and I'm lying on top of her. As we continue to kiss, her hands caress my chest through my shirt, rubbing just slightly below my neck. I pull away from her for air, sit straight up still straddling her and pull my shirt over my head. She places her hands flat on my back then pulls me down to her.

From my chest, she slides her hands down to the rim of my boxers. Her hands are so tiny and they're very sweaty. I can't shake the thought that I'm about to have sex with a little girl. She's eighteen now, I have to remind myself. She slips her hand through the elastic waistband of my pants and wraps her small hand around my erection. I kiss her softly on her lips and grab the bottom of her shirt to lift it up over her head. She's not wearing a bra, and this is the first time I've really ever seen her breasts.

They're not very big, but they're big enough for me. Her nipples are a soft, pale pink color. They're not very big either, they're actually rather small. I take a break from kissing her neck to make my way down to her nipples. I deftly circle them with my tongue, making them hard and very erect. She's still quiet, barely uttering anything other than an occasional sigh here and there. I massage her other breast with my hand as I work the occupied one with my tongue. She keeps her hands flat to her sides and sighs. I need some more reaction from her than this. Does she hate it? Does she like it?

I pick my head up off her chest and switch to the other, circling it with my tongue before sucking it whole in my mouth. She still says nothing, but she shows me some reaction by sliding her tiny hands up and gripping the back of my hair. Inside my head, I smile and flicker my tongue across her hard nipple. She likes it. I can tell, because below me, she squirms around, almost as if she's trying to get me deeper between her legs. She's probably wet, but I can't take chances by stopping the foreplay right now.

She takes one hand off my head and slides it back down to my erection, pulling the rims of my boxers open with her finger. She slips her hand completely down my boxers and wraps her hand around the base of my dick, beginning to jerk it up and down. I'm growing harder and harder. I need to know if she's wet. I put my hand down the front of her underwear, expecting to feel the same partially shaven pubic hair I felt when I ate her. I'm surprised to feel that she's shaven everything down there clean. It's all smooth. I smirk and kiss her on her neck before burying my hand deeper between her legs. She parts her shaky legs further open for me. I use my middle finger to spread the slimy lining of her wetness all over, stopping at her clit.

"Are you ready?" I whisper in her ear after briefly taking a break from kissing her neck. She nods at me, never for one second taking her hand off my shaft. She works her hand all the way up to the tip, spreading my precum all over my hard on. I pull back away from her and grab the box of condoms from her dresser. While I busy myself with opening the box, she pulls her hand out of my boxers and starts taking her underwear off. I shrug myself out of my boxers and rip open the purple and silver packet. I take the slippery condom out and roll it from the tip down to the base of me.

She looks up, eyes staring square at me. I lean down and kiss her, placing my hand right at the base to guide myself. I'm not gonna hurt her. I promise her and I promise myself that I'm not going to hurt her. I hold my dick firmly and run it along the wet, swollen inside of her lips. This condom is really good; it really doesn't feel like anything is there. I poke her clit with the tip, and she finally utters a soft moan through her suppressed lips. "Mmmmmhhhh." Her moan is actually very sexy. I push inside her. She's quiet again.

She's entirely too wet. Oh my god, she's tight. She's so tight… I don't believe she's ever had sex before. I don't believe she's done it. She's too tight. I draw back and slide out of her. Her breathing slows to a quiet hum. I push back in and bury myself deep in her slick, wet, tight hole. I can't believe this is really happening. I can't believe I'm really having sex…with Demi. She's really tense, though. "…Loosen up baby girl."

I'm not sure if she heard me, because she remains just as stiff and she closes her eyes tighter. Her hands rub along my back and grip it, here and there. "Mmm go faster…" Her voice is thick with passion. It sounds like she wants to moan, but she won't. I can't go any faster unless she loosens herself up. She's so stiff, her legs won't open that far.

"Loosen up…" I stay still, buried deep inside her body. I plant my hands firmly beside her shoulders and hover over her. She takes a breath and practically unhinges all her joints. She unstiffens her body and reduces her grips and digs into my back to soft rubs. "Good girl." I move my hips to open her legs up wider and she lets me. I keep the top half of my body still and only pump her with my bottom. I'm really trying not to hurt her. I close my eyes too and lean down to kiss her. I love her. I don't want to hurt her.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

I'm not even thinking about anything. I'm just focusing on me and Joe. I can't cry at the end of this. Joe will never want to sleep with me again if I do. I bend my knees a little and open my legs for Joe some more. I can't explain the rush of excitement rocking through my body. I wrap my legs around his waist, pulling him closer to get all the way inside me. Joe's a decent size. He's not too big, but he's not at all small. I think he's about seven or eight inches, but that's just an estimation. I don't remember my first time being at all like this. Joe's gentle. Joe doesn't hurt me. It actually feels good.

He draws back again, and it makes a nasty, squishy sound. He has two fingers playing with my clit, and I feel my wetness drip down my leg and onto the sheets. It feels so good. I don't know how to react. I don't want to be too loud, because I don't want to wake anyone. Joe grunts and holds my left leg up with his hands. I didn't know I was this flexible. I guess he's tired of the usual him being on top, because he slides two hands behind my lower back and pulls me closer to him. He's all the way inside of me. I know he is, because the outer parts of my vagina are resting on his lower stomach as he's switching our position.

He moves so that he's sitting Indian-style on the bed, and I'm on his lap with my legs wrapped around his lower back. He keeps his hands on my lower back and moves me so that I'm doing most of the work. Moans just start coming out naturally. It feels so good, oh my god it feels good. "Ahhhh…Ahhh…" All I hear is the squishing noises. I'm gonna have an orgasm. "Oh god… oh god…" Joe keeps grunting and it kind of sounds like he's laughing. He kisses my neck and breathes hard in my ear as he grabs onto my butt and keeps pulling me towards him like I'm riding him. I can't help it. I bite on his shoulder softly and moan some more. "Ahhhhh…."

"Don't cum yet… not yet." He whispers to me and kisses my neck some more. He grunts again and rubs my back. He lies back on the bed and now I'm on top of him. What am I gonna do up here? I don't know how to ride… I imagine I'm not very good at it. He puts his hands on my waist and rubs my hips. This is definitely not how I expected sex with Joe for the first time to be. It's a little bit better than I'd imagined. I rest my hands on his hard, sweaty chest and just sit still.

"I don't…" I begin to tell him that I don't know what to do on top, but I'm quickly interrupted by him grabbing my waist hard and pulling me towards him. Oh, this actually hurts. I've never been on top before. It hurts. I wrinkle my eyebrow to express my discomfort. The crumpled covers on the bed make rustling noises as he forces me back and forth on top of him. It's starting to feel good, but it's still a little uncomfortable. I liked the position when I was on his lap better.

"Mmmm… you don't what, babe?" He lays flat on the bed but continues to move me with his arms. He breathes hard and huffy out his mouth, pushing his lower half upwards into me to ensure that his every inch is inside of me. I shake my head. It doesn't hurt much anymore. It feels really…really good. I used to think that sex was just the usual guy on top thing. Joe's shown me that that isn't true.

"N..nothing…" I start moving by myself, rocking back and forth making sure the squishy noises are being made. I think in order to ride a boy, I have to do what makes me feel good. That's how it's supposed to be done, right? I grab onto Joe's arms and raise up off it and back down on it. "Oooohhh…" It feels much more natural for me to moan now.

"…I like screamers… you're not loud enough for me." Joe chuckles and holds me steady as he begins to trade places with me again. I was just starting to get good at it. I was just starting to get the hang of riding a boy. And what does he mean I'm not loud enough? How loud does he want me to be? He dumps me down on the bottom and pulls out of me. When he pulls out, it makes another loud squishy noise. I can't describe it any other way besides the sound you make when stirring macaroni. The condom on his cock is rising up a bit. He grabs the ring at the bottom of the condom and pulls it back down to where it needs to be. Instead of just pushing back in like I thought he was going to, he teases me by running the tip along the outside of me.

"Stop it…" I just want him to go back in. I wonder how long we've been going at it. I want him so badly. I'm not gonna cry after this. I know I'm not, because this time it just feels different. It feels like I need it, because I WANT it. I really want it. Despite my asking him to stop, he keeps running his dick all along the outside of me, stopping to poke at my clit every so often. "Mmmmm….." I moan between my pursed lips. "I'm n..not gonna get louder… I don't scream." And that's the truth. I'm usually very quiet. Not just during sex, but period. I'm not a loud person.

"I bet I can get you to." He flashes a toothless smirk down at me and finally stops with the foreplay below. He closes my legs and holds them together. I don't know much about sex, but I do know that my legs have to be open for it. Don't they? Apparently not. He pushes my legs up and to the side. He rests my legs on his shoulder and puts it in while my legs are closed. Oh god. Oh god. His sweat drips down on me, but I don't care. I close my eyes tightly as I try so hard to stop moaning. "Don't fight it…" He grunts and pumps his erection in and out of my wet hole faster and faster.

"Oh my…" I reach up and put my hand over my sweaty face. The friction between his shaft and my walls is perfect. This is perfect. Oh god. I'm gonna… am I allowed to? I breathe hard into my hand. He opens my legs again and spreads them so far apart that if I was on the ground, I'd be doing a split. I glance down. He's so deep in me. I curl my toes under and gasp. "Like that… l…like that…" As if him going so deep that he's touching my fucking brain isn't enough, he reaches down with his hand and teases my clit, sending me into a frenzy. My chest hiccups as I struggle to catch my breath. "J….mmmmm…." I stop before screaming.

"You're still not gonna scream?" He chuckles once again and starts moving in and out WAY faster. Shit… Oh shit…. "You scream or I ain't stopping." He mumbles in my ear along with a nibble on my earlobe. All I feel is him inside me, his dick growing harder inside me and the bottom of his balls hitting me every time he thrusts back in. With shaky hands, I reach up and grab the headboard of the bed. I don't know how nobody hears us. The headboard is banging against the wall and the bed is squeaking. How nobody hears us, I don't know.

For some reason, Joe moves to the side and maintains his fast, vigorous pace. I can't hold it anymore. He was right. He can make me. And I'm gonna orgasm. "…Ca…can I?" I ask. He told me I couldn't before when I wanted to. Frankly, I don't really care if I can't. I'm going to anyway. I grab onto his back and squeeze. "JOE…." I claw my nails into his back. I can't help it. I bite my lip and moan louder than I wanted to allow myself.

"You cummin?" He lies flat on top of me and kisses my cheek.

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

"A…almost… uhhh…" She moans real pretty in my ear. I do feel her pussy squeezing my dick so tight, it almost aches. She got good… GOOD pussy. I'm not a minute man. I do NOT cum quick. But the SECOND I went in and made my first thrust, I found myself having to think of something random to prevent cuming quick. She's tight as hell and wet as hell. It blows my mind actually. And I hardly even realized that I had the condom on.

Her moans are so pretty too. I've never heard anything as pretty as her moans before. Then again, I've never had sex with a singer before, so none of my girls' moans have ever been this melodious. She sounds like she's singing for me with every "mmm" "ohhh" or "ahhh." I kiss her on her neck again and just listen to her as she drowns out the "e" in my name while she creams all over me.

"Joeeeeeee…." She throws her head back and her legs shake under me. I kiss her collarbone and she wearily tilts her head to the side and breathes hard. Her hair sticks to her forehead and she rubs my back. I burst inside of her, happy that I have a condom on. "Mmmm…"

I lie on her chest and hold her. "Happy birthday, Demi." I kiss her on her cheek and pull out. I make sure I take the soiled condom off correctly and throw it away. I think she's asleep, because she doesn't even move when I get off her. She could be sleeping, at least she isn't crying. I'd really like to change the sheets, but I don't want to move her. She fell asleep quick. "I love you baby." I kiss her on her cheek. She winces a bit.

"Love you too…" She sighs and keeps her eyes closed. I want to know what she thought about it. I want to know if she enjoyed herself. But I'll let her sleep. I'll ask her when we wake up. I take a look at the clock. It's 2:32. Well, even though she has a good pussy, I didn't cum fast. I lasted two and a half hours like I always do. I climb in the bed next to her and hold her.

This is only the beginning of her birthday presents.


	29. Presence Is A Present

**Demi's Point of View.**

When I wake up this morning, I feel…different. Not different in a bad way, but different as in…calmer. Like I slept in a palace and I'm a princess and everything revolves around me. I don't know why I slept so well last night, honestly. It's not like I was overly tired or anything. I was just as tired as I usually am.

I flutter my long eyelashes as I wake up. My eyes are still heavy and I'm still a little tired. I open my eyes and look around only to find that it's completely dark in the room, which is kind of a big deal, because the curtains in my room are cream colored so the sunlight gets in pretty well. I've never woken up in a dark room as long as I've been here. I sit up, propping myself on my elbows to properly look around as best as I can without my glasses. It's so different in here, because I'm not even in my room. I'm in Joe's room. I look to the side of the bed and find that it's empty, the quilt is pulled back like someone once was there. Joe's not even lying beside me. I'm confused.

I'm really not sure exactly what happened last night now. I mean, I know that we had sex. But I don't know if it was a dream or if it was reality, because I remember falling asleep in my room. If it was a dream, it was a very sweet dream that I'd like to become a reality. I look around the room some more. Where's Joe? I run my hands down my body and find that I'm dressed in a baggy blue t-shirt and I don't have underwear on. Well, the no underwear thing suggests that everything that happened last night was very real. But I don't remember falling asleep in Joe's bed. I thought we did it in my bed and fell asleep in my bed.

I yawn really big and look around some more. I'm trying to estimate what time I think it is, but it's hard to do when the curtains are so thick and as dark as Joe's are. I look over to my right. My cell phone isn't on the dresser next to me. There is a little black iPhone, but it's not mine. It's Joe's. Mine is probably in my room on my nightstand where I always put it at night. I just need to know what time it is, so I reach over and grab Joe's phone to check the time. I push the lock button at the top and his phone lights up. The background on his phone is of me. I didn't even know he took this picture. I'm lying in bed with him, he's holding me. He must have taken it a while ago, because we're in my bed.

It's 12:30 in the afternoon on Thursday, August 20th, 2010. I might as well have fun with his phone while I can. I slide the bottom to unlock it. Damn it, he has a password on it. And it's not even the numbers password, it's the words. Fuck. Oh well. I put his phone back down and sit up. I wonder where he is.

I sigh and look around his room some more. It really looks like Joe in here. His running shoes are scattered on the floor, he has a basketball beside his PlayStation. Over in the corner next to his bookcase, there's a long, thin box wrapped in light purple wrapping paper. Across the top in silver marker, "DEMI" is written. Or at least that's what it looks like. Is that a present? For me? Excitedly, like a child on Christmas morning, I climb out of the bed and walk over to it. I can't really see at the moment, I definitely need my glasses. I kneel down to the gift and touch it.

It definitely has my name on it. It's for me. What's in it? All of a sudden, the door in the left corner of Joe's room swings open and he walks out shirtless and wet with a white towel wrapped around his waist. I feel a rush of hot air come out of his bathroom when he opens the door. I spring up out of my kneeling position and act like I wasn't just nebbing around.

"You're awake." He smiles at me like I'm the reason the sun is shining. It's an amazing feeling to be looked at like that. His voice sounds really excited. "You slept pretty long. You alright?" He walks over to me and wraps his arms around my waist, squeezing me against his still damp chest. Naturally, he kisses my cheek.

"I'm fine." I overlap his hands with mine and rub his slightly wet arm hair. "I had a good sleep." I can't help but crack a smile. I like how he's not acting weird about what happened last night. It was just sex, after all. Right? I turn around so that I'm facing him. "I need to take a shower too. I'm not clean either." I interlock our fingers and he looks down and smiles at me before placing his lips on mine.

He plants a kiss on my forehead and pulls me closer to him. "Go ahead and get in my shower. I'll go grab you some clothes to throw on. And your glasses. You need your glasses." He kisses the tip of my nose. His breath smells sweet. Mine probably stinks, which prompts me to cover my mouth with my hand. He chortles and rubs my back. "I love your morning breath, don't worry." I giggle once, amused. He loves my morning breath.

"How did we end up in your room? I thought we were in my room last night…" I rest my head on his chest and sigh. He has the power to just…calm me down. He has the power to make me feel like everything will always be okay as long as he holds me. It's a beautiful feeling, really.

"We were in your room. But the sheets were all nasty in your bed, so I brought you in here." He combs his fingers all through my hair. "Sorry I didn't tell you. But you slept so peacefully, I didn't want to wake you."

"It's okay, I was just confused." I shake my head and move my hands down to his waist. The tips of my fingers graze the top of his butt. "What's the password on your phone, anyway? I checked the time, and I was trying to snoop but I couldn't."

He laughs hysterically. "It's Demi143." Joe puts his lips to my cheek. "You okay from last night, by the way?"

I nod. I'm fine from last night. Last night was perfect. And I didn't cry. "Joe…. You think…. Maybe when I have to leave that you could… come with me or something?" I've just been thinking about it a lot lately. Obviously I'm not going to be with the Jonases forever. So I'm just wondering what's gonna go on between me and Joe when I have to leave. I'm worried. Though at this point, I'm sure that my family isn't coming for me. I'm almost certain. So maybe I'll be staying with them longer. But it still worries me.

"…We're not gonna think about that. Right now, we're gonna focus on you having the best day ever." He kisses my lips again. "You only turn eighteen once baby. We're gonna celebrate. We'll worry about the bad things tomorrow." He pats my butt again. "Now you go get in the shower. I'm gonna go grab your things. And then, we'll open up your gift. I saw you eyeing it." He laughs softly.

I blush guiltily. "Yeah, I was." I tuck my hair behind my ear and admit it.

He's right. Today is my day. It's my birthday. I don't even wanna think about leaving Joe. Part of me thinks that I'm gonna stay with them. My mom isn't coming for me, and I have nowhere else to go. I should just stay with them. I'd have to sit down and explain everything to Mr. and Mrs. Jonas, though. There's a lot that they don't' know. I'm gonna tell Mrs. Jonas today that I'll take her offer. I'll take her offer to stay. It's clear that they don't care about me. They won't even answer my phone calls anymore. At least the Jonases love me, I guess. It's nice to know that I always have a permanent home.

Joe leaves his bedroom, and I go into his bathroom. I forgot to ask him how to start his shower. I'll figure it out. I take a peek into his shower to see what he has to wash up with. He has manly smelling things, like Head & Shoulders. But I think he knew I would take a shower in here, because on his shower rack lies a thick bar of white Dove soap. I grab a towel from his cabinet and a wash cloth too. I kind of wonder what's in the purple box in the corner of his room. I definitely wasn't expecting presents from them.

I stare at the nozzle to turn the shower on before I actually mess with it. I think I just have to pull the nozzle out then turn it. I turn on the water and step into the shower. Last night was so perfect. I still can't believe that I had sex with Joe. I really hope he doesn't tell anyone. But I still can't believe we did it. And he's amazing in bed. He really is. I mean, at least I think he is. I don't really have much to compare to, but I had an orgasm so that's always a good thing, right?

I scrub between my legs, washing away all the passion from last night. I trace a purple bruise on my upper thigh with my wash cloth. It doesn't hurt, it just took me by surprise. Was he rough with me last night? It didn't feel like it, but if I have a bruise, he must have been. I shrug it off and just finish rinsing my body. It's not really a big deal, because I bruise easily anyway. I'm just trying to think about when he used enough force to bruise me.

I rinse my hair from all the sweat from last night. I'll wash it later, all it needs is a good rinse. I haven't properly washed it in a while, because I didn't want to wash the dye out of it. I cup some water in my hands and rub it all over my face before I shut off the water and grab my towel. The towel smells like Joe's aftershave. I look in the mirror as I dry myself off. I notice another purple bruise on my shoulder. I really can't remember him using enough force to hurt me. I still can't believe that we had sex last night. I just keep thinking about it. I wonder if he's thinking about it too. I'm so proud of myself. I didn't cry, and I didn't feel like I needed to.

I take the towel and dry my hair as best as possible and walk naked back into Joe's room, leaving the towel draped on the hamper. I feel comfortable enough to be completely naked around Joe. I walk through the bathroom door and find that Joe's not in his room, but I can tell he's been back in here, because my phone, my clothes and my glasses are all lying in a pile on his newly made bed. I grab the bra he brought for me first and put it on. I slide the underwear on and look at the clothes he picked out. I take it as he'd like to see me in this. It's a pair of blue jean shorts and a pink tank top. I shrug at how I'd never put this on. But Joe picked it out, so I'll put it on. He was nice enough to get me clothes, so I won't knock it.

"…Hey baby, there's food downstairs for you, so let's hurry." He walks back into the room with dry hair and a pair of basketball shorts with a white cutoff shirt. He grabs the purple box as I shove my glasses onto my face. He puts the box on the bed and I zip up my pants. "I got this for you yesterday. I hope you like it. Frankie helped me pick it out. If you don't like it, I can take it back."

I sit down on the bed and cross my legs. I'm about to open up a birthday gift, but I'm still only thinking about last night. I'm also thinking about the fact that I don't really know if Joe's my boyfriend. I mean, we have sex and we kiss and we sleep together. But we never really put a label on it. Is it safe to say that we're boyfriend and girlfriend? "I'm sure I'll love it." I pull the box closer to me and start to tear off the purple wrapping paper. I have a couple questions to ask him, like when he bruised me. But instead, I ask him another question that's been on my mind. "Joe, are you my boyfriend?" I tear the paper off and see that it's just a plain cardboard box.

He uses his finger and slides it under the tape on my end of the box so that I can get it open. "No, Demi. I'm not your boyfriend. I just made love to you last night because I think you're pretty." He shakes his head and snickers. "You're such a little nut." He gives me a soft, wet kiss on my cheek and rubs on my back. "Of course I'm your boyfriend, baby girl. I love you. And I'm not just saying that. I do love you. I know I love you, because you're all I'm ever really thinking about. I wake up thinking about you and go to sleep thinking about you." He kisses my fingers.

I look down at the box and blush. "I love you too…" I wouldn't say that to Joe if I didn't mean it. You know that feeling you get in your stomach when you see someone you really like? I always get that feeling around Joe, and I feel like I can't stand up. Let me get to opening this gift. I sigh dreamily and pull the slats of the box up and look inside it.

Oh my god, is this what I THINK it is? Oh my god, oh my god, OH MY GOD. "Joe… is this…." My heart pounds as I reach in and grab something smooth, long and slender. It has hard, cold pieces. Metal. Oh my god. It is. It IS. I look up at his face and he's smiling at me with a satisfied and content look on his face. "Joe I…. Joe." I shake my head and carefully pull it out. It's BEAUTIFUL. Did he really…. "OH MY GOD, JOE."

He laughs and shakes his head. "You like it baby? I tried to pick one that you'd like." He throws the box down on the floor and leans forward to look at my reaction some more. I more than like it. I love it. It's beautiful. It must've cost him a whole lot. Guitars aren't cheap, and this one is custom made. I suck on my bottom lip to prevent crying. I can't believe this. I sniff and let my jaw tremble. "It's all yours, baby. All yours. You just have to promise me that you'll play it for me sometime."

"I will. I will…. I will. I will… I love it." I sniff and let one of my tears fall as I nod erratically. My tear crashes down on the perfect silver frets and I quickly wipe it away. It can't rust. I don't want it to rust. I'm gonna treat this thing like it's my baby. "It's beautiful." I wipe another tear and just shake my head. I don't feel like I deserve this. "Thank you, I… thank you." I lean in and give him a long, tongue-filled kiss. I can't thank him enough. I'm freaking out. He bought me a GUITAR. It's MINE. I don't even feel like I can accept it. "I…I'll play it right now." I put it under my armpit and run my fingers along the strings.

"Wait, wait. Here… there's another part." He quickly springs up from the bed and rushes over to his dresser. More presents? I can't accept anymore. I really can't. I just don't feel right. He grabs something and walks it over to me. Whatever it is, it's dangling on a chain. "You might need this." He puts it in my hand and I just stare at it. It's a pick. But it's not just any pick. It's purple with my name burned into it. And it's a necklace. It's perfect….

"Joe, I….I can't…." I can't accept this, but I want it so bad. I really, really, really want it. "I love it. Thank you… so much. Thank you. Thank you, babe… I really mean it." I put my baby down next to me and hug him. "I'll play it for you. I'll play it for you every single night. Every single night, I'll play it for you. I promise…" He bought it for me. The very least I can do is play it for him. Joe holds me in his arms and rubs my back while I rub his too. We sit here in silence, the only sound breaking the silence is the random ringing of the doorbell.

"…You can keep the guitar on one more condition." He kisses the top of my head. I move my head so that I'm looking up at him. "You gotta teach me how to play it. Even if you don't want to, you have to." He smiles down at me and keeps rubbing my back. He wants to learn? I can teach him. I can teach him right now.

"I will. I will. I'll teach you. Right now? I'll teach you right now." I let him go, grab my baby and put it under my armpit again. "These are the frets. And these are the strings. This is the G-chord…" I point and show him. He watches me attentively with his hands under his chin. He's looking more at me than the actual guitar. I could be a guitar instructor. I really could be. I've been playing for years. "You put your hand right here when you want to –"

Suddenly, the door opens to Joe's room, interrupting our perfect moment. Danielle walks in, dressed in her usual shorts and t-shirt. Her hair is pinned up in a ponytail and she looks a lot better today than she did yesterday. I'm surprised to see her awake, actually. She's been sleeping a lot and she hasn't really been doing much with the bandaid on her ribs. Kevin says that it's normal for her to want to sleep a lot because she has a concussion, but I know that she's only sleeping so much because if she doesn't sleep, she cries. She and Kevin are both a mess. Mr. and Mrs. Jonas have been the ones putting all the baby clothes up in the attic, because neither one of them is strong enough to do it.

I know it seems crazy, because she was never really showing in the first place; but it's noticeable that Dani dropped a few pounds. I'm just glad that she's not crying. She makes me want to cry when she cries. "Hey, lovebirds. You both need to come downstairs. Now." The look on her face can't really tell me what she wants, though it really is time for us to come downstairs. We've been upstairs alone for a long time. The food is probably getting cold downstairs.

"…We'll continue this lesson later." I sigh and get up from the bed, laying my baby on a pillow. Joe sighs too and stands up, grabbing my hand as if I'm a toddler and can't walk on my own. I adjust my pants and leave out of the room, Joe following close behind. Dani practically runs down the steps. She's oddly excited for some reason. Maybe she's getting over the miscarriage, though I can never see her getting 100% over it. I shrug and walk behind her. I'm kind of hungry, Denise better had be cooking something big. I kind of wonder if Danielle can tell that we had sex. I know Joe hasn't told her, but can she tell just by looking?

"Demi, how good are you with surprises?" She stops at the bottom of the steps and turns around to face me. "Scale of one to ten." Her eyes light up as she looks at me, like she has something really big to tell me. Is she pregnant again? Am I pregnant? I don't like surprises…

"I hate surprises… why?" I'm scared of this. They've already given me enough. They've given me so much. What other surprises could they possibly have? I'm not accepting anymore gifts. "I'm not taking any more gifts… so whatever it is, take it back." I drum my fingers on the bannister and sigh. I run through the options of what they could have surprised me with. A puppy, a car, a laptop. Those are the only things they haven't gotten me.

"I think you'll like this surprise, though. You might actually want to keep this one." She turns away from me and continues to walk. The smell of lunch is getting louder to me. My stomach growls a little and as I near the kitchen, I hear everyone talking. Instead of walking straight like I expected her to, Dani turns the corner into the sitting room that they never use. It trips me out a little more to realize that the voices are actually coming from the sitting room. Oh my god, what if it's cops? I don't wanna go in there.

I start to breathe a little harder, stopping dead in my tracks. "I don't like surprises, Dani what is this?" My voice changes to a low whine. I'm so scared. I lick my lips and close my eyes, trying not to cry. My hands start sweating and I lock up. I'm not going in there. Please don't be cops. Oh my god, don't be cops.

"Demi, it's okay… you'll like it. I promise." Dani grabs my sweaty hand and pulls me into the sitting room. I'm so scared. She really has to struggle with me to get me to move. "Demi, come ON."

"No, No… No." It's taking everything in me not to cry. Joe grabs Danielle's hand and pushes it away off me. He holds me by my waist and I grab the bannister. "Lemme go! I don't want to!"

"Demi, calm down! It's not that bad!" Dani tries to talk me down as Joe restrains me. I breathe hard and heavy as I keep the tears at bay a little longer. Let me logically reason for a moment. If the Jonases had cops at the door, they wouldn't let them in… would they? I take a deep breath and walk into the sitting room.

My eyes go straight over to the couch, and I notice that there are three people too many on the couch gathered around. One is pint-sized with tan skin, chubby cheeks and long brown hair sitting on the lap of another. The one holding the little one has long dark brown hair, and the one beside them both has messy strawberry blonde hair. It can't be… My eyes just lock on them. I'm not breathing. My stomach drops down into my butt and my heart beats ten times faster. It can't… be…

"…Mommy?" When I finally find my voice, it comes out groggy, tears about to tear it to shreds. There's nobody else in the room besides me and them. No Jonases. Nobody else. Just me and them. I stare before I collect my thoughts and just lose it. "MOMMY!" I bawl my fists up and run over to her. She pops up from the couch fast enough to catch me when I jump on her. My mom is so small, but she can still hold me. "MOMMY… MOMMY…." I bury my face in her neck and just cry.

She holds me around my lower back and plays with my hair like she always does to calm me down. "I'm here lovey… didn't I tell you? I told you I was coming… I told you we were coming to get you." She sniffs too and finally puts me down. "Happy birthday lovey." She sniffs again and rubs my back, because I won't let her go.

"Don't we get any love?" Dallas stands up and holds Maddie's hand. Of course they get love.

"….You came." I pull away from my mom and wipe my tears. I give her a hug too and I rub Maddie's hair. They're really here… they're here. HERE. In this room…with me. WITH US. They're really here. They're not just voices on the phone or videos over videochat. They're tangible and they're here.

"Guys…" I pull out of the hug with Dallas too and clear my throat, facing the Jonases. "This… is my family… My mom… my sister Dallas and my other sister, Maddie." I reach down and pick Madison up. She's a little heavy, but I was always able to pick her up. "And this is the Jonas family. The ones that have been so… so kind to me. That's Kevin… his wife Danielle. And Mrs. Jonas, Mr. Jonas… Joe, Nick and that little one is Frankie."

"We've met." Denise is smiling in the corner next to Paul. She's looking really happy. "I've already told your mother what an amazing baby girl she has."

I can't believe they're here. I shake my head and wipe my tears again. "Uh…that's Kevin. He was the one who saved my life." I point him out to my mom. Through the corner of my eye, I see Dallas and Dani in the corner. I glance over at them.

"What size are those shoes?" Dani asks Dallas.

"They're eights. Where'd you get your SHORTS?" Dallas looks at Dani's legs. I knew they'd hit it off well.

I just still can't believe they're here… my god.

They're here.


	30. Family Over Family

**Demi's Point of View.**

"We planned to go to the beach today for Demi's birthday, so you can join us if you would like." Denise puts a bowl of angel hair pasta noodles in the middle of the table before she sits down beside Paul at the head of the table.

"That actually doesn't sound like a bad idea. It's been a while since my girls have been to a beach." My mom reaches over and holds my hand, stroking her thumb across my knuckles. I still can't believe they're here. A little part of me is wondering why they came without telling me, given that they ALL know I hate surprises. I have so many questions for them. "Madison, stop putting salt on your food honey. That's enough."

Maddie looks at my mom as if she didn't understand what she said. She puts the glass salt shaker down and folds her hands nicely. I wonder when my mom told her to act so politely. I reach over and mix her food altogether to evenly distribute the salt throughout her alfredo. "Thank you, Dem Dem."

"So, Demi can you tell me more about your friends? You haven't really told me much... you haven't really even introduced us." My mom twirls her fork in her pasta and blows on it to cool it down. Under the table, I reach over and hold Joe's hand. I don't know why, but I just feel like he needs my support just as much as I need his.

"They're the Jonases. I met Kevin in the hospital, because he was my pediatrician. And we talked and stuff and he decided that he liked me enough to invite me to stay here." I put it simply. "And I've been staying here ever since." I sort of wonder if Denise mentioned to my mom that she wanted me to stay here permanently. Probably not, so I decide not to mention it either.

"She hasn't given you guys any trouble, has she?" Mom's voice goes from her usual calm tone to high-pitched and inquisitive. I can't help but feel like I'm a child and she's asking my babysitter if I was a "good girl" while she was away.

"Oh no. No, of course not. She isn't a problem." Denise shakes her head vigorously and wipes her mouth with a napkin. "We love Demi to death. All of us do. She's a very… impressive little girl. No trouble. Very well-behaved. We all fell in love with her."

"That's my girl." Mom smiles and rubs me on my shoulder. She touches me as gently as she always has. I really missed her touch. "Her dad always said that Demi's the little charmer. Everyone that lays eyes on her falls in love with her."

"Demi never mentioned her father…"

I shoot my mom a look. There are certain things that the Jonases don't need to know about. There are certain things that I don't WANT them to know about. Like daddy, and how he died. Especially what happened after he died. I didn't tell them for a reason. My mom has a bad tendency to overshare. It's a curse, really. Just like my inexplicable need to tell the truth. My mom catches my drift and shuts her mouth quickly. I know Denise isn't just gonna let this slide, though.

"…Boys? Why don't you go out by the pool for a minute? The trash needs taken out, Elvis needs walked and I want my garden hosed down. Danielle, take Demi upstairs and find her a bathing suit to wear to the beach." Denise dismisses all of us. I can tell she's dismissing us to get some information out of my mom. I feel my stomach churn and I stand up, following Danielle to the flight of steps.

"Don't you hate when adults try to get rid of you by giving you something stupid to go do?" Dani shakes her head and walks up the steps with heavy feet. If I'm going to tell someone the full story, it might as well be Dani. I really trust her… and it's gonna come out anyway. I might as well just tell it. I have nothing to lose anymore.

"Yeah…" I tuck my hair behind my ear and shut the door to her and Kevin's room and sit down on the bed. "Um, Dani… we have to talk about some things." I swing my feet and look down. I don't want to dump all my problems on her right away. "Well… before I…start. Is there anything you need to talk about? Like… the baby? Or….anything?"

She bends down and starts rummaging through her drawers. "No. But are you going to talk to me about why you never mentioned your dad?"

"…Yeah."

"Okay, go ahead and spill." She stops going through her drawers and sits down next to me. Danielle makes it so easy to talk to her. And she really knows how to make me feel like she's listening. She reminds me of Dallas, it's true. My mind wonders to downstairs. Dallas is probably helping my mom explain to Denise and Paul. Maddie and Frankie seem to have hit it off. They're probably in the backyard collecting bugs.

"Uh… well, I'm just telling you… because you're gonna find out anyway. And…. I kind of want to just get it out. To set the story straight." I clear my throat again and stroke the soft sheets on the bed. "I never mentioned my dad… because he's just…." I lick my lips and choke back some tears. "He died. He was killed on the way home from the grocery store. Drive-by bullet just hit the wrong car at the worst time. And it killed him."

I hear Dani gasp softly. "Demi… I'm so sorry…" She covers her mouth with her hand. I put my hand up to tell her to stop apologizing. She quiets down immediately.

"He died about two years ago." I sigh. "And after he died, my mom met someone else. His name was Rob. He was nice at first. He really liked my mom. But he started drinking… like my real dad. He started drinking and stuff and he ended up being a total asshole. He would… do things to me. And he would punish me if I spoke a word. At first, it was all just beatings. Like he would hit me every one in a blue moon. Or he would spit on me. But that one night… that was all it took. He snuck in my room that one night….. and… and Dani, I don't know how to explain this…" I look up from the ground and over at Dani. Her face reads sorrow. She puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Sometimes, I get mad. I get SOOOO mad, Dani. SO mad. It's like… the anger just takes over my body and I can't think if anything else other than how angry I am. And it just… it makes me do some crazy shit. And that night, I was just so mad. And so angry… I wasn't even thinking. I just… went into the room…woke my mom up got her out of the room. And I just… I set it on fire." I just shrug and throw my hands out. I can't explain it to her in any other way.

"Oh my god…"

"I know." I bite my bottom lip. "So that's why I'm here. I couldn't stay in Texas, because they were REALLY looking for me. Found my fingerprints on the doorknob… wanted to take me to juvi for arson. So I ran." I sniff and suddenly little rivers of tears are streaming down my face. I didn't know I was gonna cry.

"Oh…" She leans in and hugs me rather tightly. "Demi, it's okay… it's okay." She rubs my back. "It's alright. People do things out of anger. People… regret things. Demi, it's okay…. You know? Things happen for a reason. You didn't hurt that man… nearly as much as he hurt you." She rubs my back. "And that's the honest truth."

"I just feel so bad all the time." I sniff again. "Like I killed someone, Dani. I can't live with that in my heart. I killed someone…. How do you escape that fact?"

"Demi… you listen to me…" She wipes my tears away with her soft thumbs. "Everything happens for a reason. God doesn't give us ANYTHING that he doesn't think we can handle. And sometimes…. Killing isn't… the worst a person can do. There are things that you need to forgive yourself for… before anyone else can forgive you."

"But Dani…. I just feel so bad. It's like…. How can I kill a person… KILL a person… and… your baby was just… STOLEN from you? I killed someone, but your poor little baby didn't even…. He didn't…. I just…"

"Shhh…" She puts her hands on my cheeks and forces me to look at her. "It's okay to cry, Demi. And it's okay to feel bad. And it's okay to not feel bad. It's all okay. Demi, I think about the baby all the time. More than I'll ever let Kevin know. And I taught myself that it's okay to feel however I want to feel about my baby."

"…You think about him?" I would've never guessed that she did. She doesn't act like she's upset about him. She's been really…. Really strong.

"Yeah. I think about him all the time. I think about him when I wake up. When I go to sleep. I think about him all… ALL the time. And I cry about him. And I feel empty without him. I feel like someone should be inside me but someone's not. I feel… lost without him. But I'll never let Kevin know… because he cries enough for the both of us." Her voice gets really low. Dani needs me as much as I need her right now.

"…Dani, I'm really sorry. I didn't… I didn't know you were so…" I hold her hand. "I didn't know…"

"I know you didn't know, Demi. Nobody knows. I like it better that way." She wipes her own tears. "My point is that our feelings are our feelings. We can't change how we feel about anything. The best we can do is just deal with it."

"…Thank you Dani. Thank you so much."

"Don't mention it, kid." She ruffles my hair and springs up off the bed. "Now… let's find you something to wear to the beach. You only turn eighteen once."

* * *

**Joe's Point of View.**

"Jojo! Look! Look! Maddie caught a jelly!" Frankie jumps up and down on the shore, pointing to a transparent, limp, lifeless plastic-bag-looking jellyfish that Demi's little sister is holding. Demi looks just like all of her family. They're all really pretty, but Demi is completely gorgeous. It's breathtaking to see the woman she came from. I, myself can't believe that her family is here with us.

"Wow, that's really cool!" I give them both a double thumbs up and bury my feet deeper in the sand. I wonder if Demi told her mom about us. Not only about the fact that we're a couple, but about the fat that we had sex. I don't think she would tell, though.

I watch as she jumps through a wave breaking over her. She, Danielle and Dallas all hold hands and jump through another wave. I think about how we got here. She just showed up one day and she completely mesmerized me. I know it sounds crazy, but I can't think of my life without her now. That's crazy, isn't it? But that's the way I feel.

I also think about Camilla. I think about how I was supposed to settle down with her. The thought of settling down really intrigues me. I know that I want to get married someday. I want to have lots of babies with my wife. I want to coach a soccer team, or be there to support a baseball or softball game. I want my kids to cook me breakfast on Father's Day. I want to help my kids cook my wife dinner on Mother's Day. But the thing is… Demi's a little young. Maybe I did make a little mistake leaving Camilla for Demi. I could never settle down with Demi. She's only eighteen, she has a lot of life to live before settling down.

She kicks some water over on Danielle and points at Nick surfing a wave. She really just makes my heart stop when I see her. "Hey, Demi!" I scream down to the shore at her. She stops what she's doing and looks over at me, smiling. I motion for her to come here. She turns to Dani and says something that I can't hear before she starts walking up to me.

"Yeah?" She walks towards me, her toes squishing through the sand. I guess she senses that I want to talk to her, because she plops down on the towel next to me and starts filtering sand through her hands.

"Nothing, baby. I just missed you…" I lean forward and lock my hands around her wrists. I do want to talk to her about how I've been feeling about settling down, but I don't want to overwhelm or alarm her, so I just keep quiet about it. "You having a good birthday?"

"Yeah." She nods and scoots closer to me. "You like my family?"

"Yeah, they're really cool. You look a lot like your mom."

"I get that a lot." She coughs and looks down. "I guess I ought to tell my mom that I have a boyfriend. I think she kind of gets it though." She lets out a sigh and looks out into the ocean waters. "I wish I knew how to surf. It looks so cool." She muses, referring to Nick surfing a wave way out in the distance.

"You wanna surf? Come on. I'll take you out." I stand up fast, brushing the sand off my trunks. I grab her hand and help her up too. She's smiling so wide, excited. "You gotta trust me, though. I won't let you drown." I hold her hand and grab my long, blue and yellow surfboard off the ground.

"I trust you." She skips a little fast, trying to rush me in the water. "Mom, Joe's taking me surfing!" She exclaims. She's so loveable. I really love her.

I hold her hand tight as we wade into the water waist-deep. I stare out into the distance, searching. A strong wave is forming out in the distance, and by the looks of it, it won't get too big. It'll be perfect for her to learn to surf on. I turn to her and look her deep in her eyes to let her know that I'm serious. "We're about to swim out into open water. Demi, whatever you do, DO NOT let go of my hand. Do you understand me? Don't let go of my hand."

"I won't." She promises and nods, her eyes locked into mine. I don't ever want her to let me go. The ocean is dangerous. I know it wouldn't necessarily be my fault, but if something happens to her out here, I will be totally responsible. I don't want anything to happen to her.

"…Get on my back, okay?" I bend my knees slightly and allow her to hop on. She jumps up and wraps her legs around my waist, locking them shut hard as her arms rest around my neck. "Hold me around my neck tighter, okay? Hold me around my neck." She listens to me and holds me so tight that I'm nearly choking. I'd rather myself choke than to lose her in this water.

I start swimming out to the open sea, holding onto my surfboard and looking out to where Nick is getting ready to catch another wave. Demi swings her head around to the front of me and smiles in my face. "Can I have a kiss, by any chance? A special birthday kiss?"

I smile back at her. "Of course." I lean in and kiss her on her lips, grazing my tongue along the inside of her cheeks. She moans softly into my mouth, mumbling the "m" sound, as if the kiss tastes good. I pull away from her and the spit connects between us. I lick my lips and smile. "I wanna save some for later… when we're alone." I rub her knees.

"…Okay." She shrugs and smiles at me too. Damn, I can't believe she's my girl.

I'm real lucky.

* * *

**Demi's Point of View.**

"So what's the deal with you and the older one? Are you guys like… an item or something?" Dallas sits down across from me at the tiki table, plunging her spoon into her strawberry Italian ice.

"Yeah. We are. I'm his girlfriend… kind of." I take a bite of my cherry flavored. I don't mention the sex. "How did you guys find me? How'd you know I was gonna be here? In Wyckoff?"

"I traced the phone call, and dialed back the number you called me from earlier. Kevin's parents were more than happy to give us their address." She smacks her lips and takes another heaping bite of her ice, some of it toppling down on the table in a pink puddle. "But back to your little boyfriend. Aren't you a little young for him? He's what? 20?"

"…21." I correct her. See, this is why I don't like telling my family anything about my love life. They always have something to say.

"21?! DEMI, HE'S 21!" She puts her spoon in her cup and pushes it away. "What could he POSSIBLY want with an 18 year old? Demi… he's 21! All he's gonna do is screw you then leave you."

"Dallas, you don't even know what you're talking about. Shut up."

"HE'S 21! YOU'RE ONLY 18! Why don't you just go after the other one? The 17 year old one? Not the 21 year old! Demi all he wants is sex, probably. All you're gonna do is sleep with him and he's gonna forget about you." She brings her tone from disgusted to sympathetic.

"Dallas, no he won't. Trust me he won't. I KNOW that sex isn't all he wants."

"How could you possibly know that?"

"…..I just do, okay?"

She's quiet for a minute, staring at me with her eyes wide. She shakes her head. "Demi, TELL me you didn't! Tell me you didn't!" She shakes her head some more. "YOU BARELY KNOW HIM!"

"….Look. I don't need you to tell me about myself. It's none of your business. And for you information, he cares about me. He…. He... he even waited for me. He waited until I turned eighteen. So… just… leave me alone about it. Honestly. It's my sex life."

"…You're right. It's your life. But I just don't want you giving it up to any guy who sweet talks you. That's all."

I need to change the subject. "So is mom gonna buy a house here in Jersey?"

"No. We're leaving Sunday. We're going to Uncle David's house in South Carolina. We're gonna be staying down there. Mom's gonna buy a house down there. Gonna get Maddie back in school and stuff down there. So that's where we're gonna be living."

"SOUTH CAROLINA? AM I COMING WITH YOU?"

"Yeah. That's the reason we came up here to get you. So we can go down there. It's already all set up. We're gonna be staying in the guest house."

"…I can't go to South Carolina! ARE YOU NUTS?!"

"Demi… I thought you wanted to be with us…"

"I DO BUT…"

I can't go to South Carolina. I could NEVER be away from the Jonases anymore. They helped me so much, and now I'm gonna move and never see them again? I can't do that! What about Kevin? What about Dani? WHAT ABOUT JOE? I can't move to South Carolina.

But I wanna be with my family…

What do I do?


End file.
